My crazy day at the doctors

Saturday woke up and felt quite fine. I wrote my post and felt good. Then all hell broke out.

I started noticing red hives starting to appear on my arms. Then I noticed I was scratching my face so I went to look in the mirror and saw all these marks on my face. WTH. So I immediately called Kaiser. One of my BFF said she would go with me to the doctors since Mr. Conservative was at work, but I said naw, he will be at home at 1:45 so I will schedule the appointment after that time. LAWD, I should have went with my friend. I went way down hill!! I started having stomach cramps and diarrhea AND Paula Michelle Smith ass decided to show up too. It was horrible. My husband came home and asked could we get an earlier appointment but by the time we got to everything it would be too late. So, nope had to wait until 4:10.

That is the side of my face.

My beautiful husband said you should take some panties and pants just in case and I just rolled my eyes and looked at him like he was crazy. I am a lady damn it. Well let me tell you about the lady. We are driving half way there I start screaming pull over I have to throw up and he says I can't do it out the window. Now, you know i could not do that so he had to pull over at the next street and I start throwing up, but hold up - WHY MY ASS START CRYING!! OH NO I THINK I AM SHITTING TOO!!! So he asked me did I want to go back home and I said no because I didn't want to miss the appointment and start all over. So we get there I run straight to the damn bathroom and Hallelujah, Thank You JESUS, I didn't. Man oh man I would have been embarrassed.

I waited longer in Kaiser then I did at the ER, I guess because every one and their mama was sick and there was only a few docs which equaled a 1-2 hour wait. I finally get to the back and they see all the bumps immediately knew it was a reaction but didn't do anything right away. I asked could they do something for the diarrhea and the vomiting but nope not until the doctor. I had to get up every couple minutes walk downstairs to a quiet bathroom to handle my business with some dignity. Thank GOD I didn't eat or drink anything all day so it was all water really.

Finally see the doctor and he wants me to go downstairs to get my blood drawn (AGAIN) I told him I had my results from WHC, which he said very good, but I need you to go down and do a urinalysis as well. Oh and before I went he said, I am going to give you a shot for the allergy reaction and a shot to stop the vomiting. I said okay can I get one for the diarrhea and he said no, because we want whatever running through to leave your body, but you need to stop vomiting because of the electrolytes. He then told me that my husband would have to go down with me to get the blood drawn because both meds are going to knock me out.

Man oh man, when she stuck me with the allergy one, I said okay not so bad, but when she stuck me with the anti-vomiting I thought I was going to cry. Big as baby, but I don't care, I don't know how many shots or blood drawn I have got over the weekend.

I go down get my blood drawn, and bam, she got it on the first try after she said Damn, who been playing with your arm. I told her the war stories and she said that a lot of the patients complain about WHC because they aren't really trained to draw the blood. Whatever.

Anywho, had one more violent fit with the stomach and vomiting (after the damn shot) and then I was set. Oh, after I then had to go down and put in my meds and wait AGAIN. I could have handled everything except the stomach cramps, I felt like I was having contractions.

Anywho, got home about 11 p.m. and got in my dang bed and slept.

I am using 3 meds right now, which keeps me sleeping. So sleep is a beautiful thing right now, except for the fact that I have a mid term coming up. But oh well.

Feel like some shit

Hey folks,

I will try and update tomorrow. Yesterday was horrible, however, I am at home and about to be doped up again.

Thanks for all the well wishes.

urban

Guess whose going back to the doctor?

Yup. Me. Remember when I said it was little hives left. Well, they have now spread to my entire body and so I have to GO BACK TO THE FREAKING DAMN DOCTORS!!!!

Guess who was in the ER yesterday?

You guessed it me. Why?

I woke up yesterday morning with a heavy feeling in my chest and back. When I went to bed I had the feeling as well. I figured it was just gas. So, I got up and got ready for work, while I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my hand felt really funny and I felt kind of weak. I decided I needed to go to the doctors but I was going to wait until Mr. Conservative got off from work. I text messaged him and told him what was going on and he told me he was going to leave work and to go ahead and call my doctors office.

I called the advice nurse and was hoping my doctor would tell me to go to the nearest Kaiser (I like their emergency centers), but he said no go to the nearest ER. We were in the ER from 10 - 6, although it seems a long time, it was probably longer for my husband than me, because I was moving every so often. Also, I didn't know they separated two types of patients. One with insurance and one with out insurance. Interesting, I guess it depends on which hospital you go to. Because my mom have heart issues, I decided to go to a hospital that specializes in heart health just in case - Washington Hospital Center.

Well, they take me in the back and have me put on one of those very fashionable robes, but I got to keep my jeans on. The nurse explains that the window is not sealed - which means it is cold as shit in the room, while your half dress. GTFOH. Anywho, I do it and I look at my arms and hands and guess what folks who told me to call my doc for the Angelina lips -I HAD HIVES ALL OVER MY DAMN ARMS - BRIGHT RED. They were not there this morning when I got dressed, they just wanted to show out for the doctor. They gave me benadryl and something else. I felt really good when I left. All my husband was concerned with is that I was walking around with my back and panties showing. I am like dude, I can't tie it right and I can't help they got me wearing this gown and my lace is showing over top of my jeans. How come he came and tied up my gown real tight?

Allergic reaction.

They took a lot of blood and urine. The doctor came back and told me that all the tests came back normal except one. Of course, this is my life, so I knew it would not be that easy. He said one test was elevated and they want to do a chest xray and a CT scan to make sure I do not have blood clots in my lungs. Ya'll I was so damn scared. Which is normal I guess.

The worst part of this whole ordeal was the nurses, techs whatever they were who stuck me to get my blood. I was stuck SIX fucking times, when I only needed to be stuck twice. In their defense I hear I have rolling veins, however, it is never that hard to stick me. I had one nurse stick me twice the first time, she got it right the second time when they put it in my hand. Now that shit hurt. Then, when they determined they wanted a CT Scan, the nurse said they could not use that i.v. because they needed a bigger one. So, I am like great here we go again. A nurse come in sticks me twice, don't get shit and said she had to get another nurse to TRY. So she comes in they all beat the shit out of my arm to try and get something to pop, then she sticks me and keeps pushing the fucking needle. I had to scream to get her to stop and she says, Damn, that one is blown, and oh that's blood. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I would have loved to smack her, but I knew she was going to try again. This time she gets it right, but damn if I was not in pain.

First i.v.

I go get the CT Scan and I must say one more thing about the hospital. There was some fine ass brothers at the hospital. Okay, back to the CT Scan. Me and the brother is chopping it up and he says I am about to flush some saline in your i.v. to make sure its working. I said okay sweetie - (we were flirting the whole time - I'm human, shut up). Why the hell I almost jump off the damn table?!?! He was like I am so sorry, but I had too, and I hate to tell you that when I put the iodine in it is going to hurt worse. Are you serious dude? He said yeah, I am afraid so for 40 seconds - How come he said 40 seconds like that is nothing? That is a long ass time. Then he tried to make me feel better by making me remember while I was there. He said Urban, iodine is thicker then water, so that is why it is going to sting, I have to push this through your vein so it can go through your veins and lighten up you vessels and we can make sure you don't have any blood clots. Oh and your going to feel a very warm sensation in your chest AND its also going to make you feel like your urinating on yourself. GTFOH. I said okay. He said you ready. I said. Yup. It was one of the machines that you stick your whole body in, but the new ones were your not enclosed. Awesome. UNTIL THEY PUT THAT SHIT IN MY ARM.

Let me tell you something. I am a bitch when it comes to pain. Seriously. Babies, I had them all natural, yes ladies no meds. But you know what I could handle that - don't ask me why. But you punch me in my arm, or I get bitten by something. I am ready to fall the fuck out.

How about I let out a animalistic scream when they pushed that shit in my arm! Only my husband has probably heard me make that noise or better yet, the last push of the babies. Well one other time, but this post is too long, I will tell you that another day. Any who, I was making noise the whole 40 seconds and then said to myself, shit my bladder was full, I know he said it will feel like I am peeing, but I won't be, but hell I just wet my damn self and I have no clothes. Shit. Of course I did not, but I ran to the bathroom right after the test.

All in all the end results is I have no blood clots. He said it could be a muscle and told me to do hot packs and motrin - could be a muscle remember my super exercise I was so proud of and had to take tylenol earlier in the week. Anywho, I am doing fine, except for the fact as I am typing this, I notice some hives are starting to develop again, but not all over my body. I am major sore, because of all the sticks and the last one really did it my wrist is swollen, but hey. I got major tests, and although it was an inconvenience, I know that nothing is wrong (cross my hands, eyes, knees and toes AND knocking on wood).

I am suppose to report to my doctor in 5 days, I guess to make sure everything is okay still.

This picture was taken this morning.

Wait the best part. You know I saw plenty shit - hell I observe people. Dude comes in to be seen a lady that works there walks by and he says hey whats up. She said nothing. He said I saw your girl the other day, tell her I said hi. I would call her but she blocked my number, but its all good.

Me and Mr. Conservative looked at each other and died laughing. Dude, you are a bugaboo, I would have blocked your damn number too AND why the hell you telling people. Stupid.

Oh and you know I called my girlfriends and asked who is going to get sick, because all the men are at Washington Hospital Center. Lawd have mercy.

Do you need to get a physical if you go to the GYN?

While I was at work one of my BFF IM'ed me and was so excited about going to the physician and this is the conversation between us.

BFF: My doctor is a hottie and I have to take many tests.

Urban: Um, okay – a physical right? You should.

BFF: Yup, but I must be really special because its 27 tests.

Urban: No, actually it is normal. He is supposed to do blood work on you. Maybe more or less test, but you are SUPPOSE to get a lot done.

BFF: What?

Urban: Um, yeah, I go annually, although, Kaiser thinks you can do it 2-3 years, but for me annually.

BFF:What? I have been going to my GYN faithfully, but not the physician.

Urban: Why not? They are two TOTALLY different doctors.

BFF: Yeah, but I figure they were running the same test.

Urban: WTF. How the hell you figure that one? One is for the vagina and one is for your entire body.

BFF: Well, that is the problem, I have not been to a physician in years because when I originally contacted her (gyn) office I asked did they do physicals and they told me they do everything. So I have not been to any one else.

Urban: Well, that is why your doctor is running all these tests. I mean you are suppose to go to your woman wellness annually, some say 2 years for that, but for me, I go annually. They do the Pap smear and they do the breast exam and some other ish, but my GYN does not take the place of my primary doctor.

I was really shocked when she said this, because she is a very smart girl. Not that intelligence have anything to do with it, but I would assume she was already doing this because when she meets a guy and want to take it to another level, she go and do joint AIDS test with the guy and everything. So, I would think this is a no brainer for her. However, she thought that her GYN could do everything because she said that's what they told her. But like her NEW doctor told her, your GYN is not running the same type of tests, that I am running, she might be checking for some things, but I am going to run tests that are more specific and in depth.

Ladies and gentlemen, please make sure you are going to your doctor annually or whatever is recommended for your age group. Personally, I go annually. Hell, I figure you got the insurance for something you might as well use it. You go to the doctors so they can have historical data on you - that is how you can tell what is normal for you and if things have changed, i.e. gone up/down whatever. Cholesterol, blood pressures and other important tests are being run.

Do you know that high blood pressure is a hidden disease? Most people do not know they have high blood pressure until it is too late, and these diseases can lead to a heart attack, kidney disease, etc. When was the last time you checked your blood pressure? Almost all drug stores or grocery stores have a blood pressure machine. Why don’t you stop by and check your pressure? Write it down and every once in a while check it again. You do not have to do it every day, but you should check.

Why the hell are my lips as big as Ange.lina this morning!!!!!

Well not Angelina Jolie, more like the retarded mom with the 14 kids.

I wake up this morning and go to wake up Mr. Stefon and realize my lips feel really big. They are hard to move, so I asked Mr. Stefon do my lips look big and he looks at me and rolls his damn eyes because he is still sleep. So, I ask Anger Mgmt and we all know if we really want the truth, we need to ask a teenager. She looks at me and says, "Why your lips look like Donald Ducks?"

Ya’ll my lips are so freaking big and I figured they would go down, but um no. Mr. Stefon told me when I dropped him off at school, I should practice sucking them in.

Yesterday, I tried a new recipe – orange chicken, but I did not use any new ingredients. I took a Tylenol with codeine because my ass was in pain from a serious, kick ass, exercise workout, but it was nothing newly introduced to my system.

Here I am at work with big pink (my coworker pointed out the pink/red look) soup coolers. I came to work because I know if I stayed home, I will not go to class tonight. I am still hung over from the Tylenol, so I have not taken any Benadryl because I know I will be knocked out, but this shit has NOT gone down.

I text my husband and he told me - do not do anything to them, he might want to try something… Flucker mind always in the gutter, but you know…

MEN ARE A BLESSING

All human beings are, but today I just want to THANK THE MEN OF THE WORLD. All men are not evil, just like all women are not angels. We need to own up to some shit too sometimes. Yes there are some shady characters on both sides.

Any who, THANK YOU BROTHERS!!

1 Mitten Down, 1 Mitten to Go

Hey folks,

Here is the finished product. Guess what? Me still no likey, maybe when I get home I will try and block it, but right now - nope.






I will try and take a better picture of the mitten when I go outside, since it will be in the 60's today. A damn shame, well not really, but you D.C. folks know we going to get paid back in full for this early Spring shit.

KIP: Mitten no thumb

I have plenty to say, but not enough time to write. So, here is a look at the mitten inside out. Oh and I don't like this mitten on my fat ass hands.



P.S. I love this purple on my nails and toes. I'm loving the blues, blacks and purples this season.

My Office Was Trashed

I came to work to this:



Hey, have you been to the fifth floor yet. No. Okay, you need to wait downstairs because your office has been broken into and we are waiting for the finger print people.

We are on the fifth floor and they kicked the door in. They broke into four offices. This amazes me because they did not take my laptop. Flat screen monitor or other computers in our office. When I talked to the maintenance guy, he said they only took a black.berry from another office.

WTF. I have checks in my office and they did not take them. This is so weird to me. Someone said it was probably a crack head. Not buying it. If it was a crack head I would assume they would take a laptop sell it on the street or something. Cash is better, but still. You know you seen hustle man on the corner with a damn girls’ dress he stole from his 4 year old daughter (saw this by the car show this weekend).

This shit is scary to me, we do not know when it happened. I get to work early before the building opens, so I do not like this shit,. I hope that this was it.

Robbers can be crazy though. I remember my husband and ours second apartment was robbed. He took our daughter to daycare and when he returned to the house they broke in and stole dumb shit. For instance, the CORD to the Nintendo 64 and not the damn system. It was as if they had a shopping list. Oh and they stole my husband coat and our perfume and cologne. Crazy.

Booty Call

On Mr. Conservative days off he takes me and the kids to work and school. We also stop at Shitbucks to get our drink on Me, Mr. Conservative and Anger Mgmt – after we drop off Mr. Stefon.

So, he dropped me off and I said see you, love you, bye. Then 15 minutes later after dropping off Anger Mgmt he calls.

I am looking at my work phone like who is calling me so early. Most people know to call my cell phone in the morning (if I had remembered to cut it on).

Me: Good morning, Urban how can I help you?
Mr. Conservative: How come you didn’t come home with me?
Me: (blushing) What?
Mr. Conservative: You heard me. How come you didn’t come home with me?
Me: Oh. I have work to do.
Mr. Conservative: Your ass don’t have no damn work, your going to be surfing the net.
Me: (Laughing) Yes I do.
Mr. Conservative: You don’t love me no more.
Me: (cheesing) What?
Mr. Conservative: Yeah man, that’s messed up.
Me: Well, I can get off at 12, but then you will have to turn around to come back up here to get Mr. Stefon.
Mr. Conservative: Naw, man you need to come home now. We can go out and I can pay College Boy to pick up Mr. Stefon so we can hang out and come back whenever.

Uh, I am not waiting until 12. I am about to bounce, I can wait to do this shit. I looked jacked up this morning, so if he is still feeling me coming home while I look like a ragamuffin.

Are movies suppose to be interactive?

This weekend I saw three movies. Notorious, Taken and Bride Wars. They all were okay, but I need to talk about one movie in particular or shall I say the people who came to the movie.

I started out wrong and went to Gall.ery Pl.ace. A nice movie theatre, stadium seats, good mix of a crowd, unless the hood is in the house. I normally go out to VA to get my movie fix on but she did not want to go to VA and since it was my husband aunt, I let her win, since she don’t go to the movies often.

We went to get some food first. I wanted some Sushi, she no likey sushi. We decided to go to this other Tapas place I can’t remember the name. Which is a good thing that shit was nasty. The best thing was their Sangria, now THAT was the bomb (not better than Mr. Conservative’).

Back to the movie. I am hyped, could not wait to see the movie, although I figured I would watch it by other means – you dig.

I had everything with me, let’s look at the list.

Drink – check
Popcorn – check
Skittles – check
Middle seat, in middle row – check

Everything going sweet, I got the head bob going, smiling and shit because THIS IS MY SHIZZNIT!! UNTIL, the shit got interactive. How about homeboy behind us wanted to be Biggie. All of a sudden, I hear – “Who the fuck is this, paging me 5:46 in the morning, crack a dawn in…… How come he didn’t stop singing? He was loud ya’ll, I mean, wanted to let everyone know he knew the song. I mean the whole theater head was bobbing, but THIS fool had to sing. I am like damn, okay, we know you know the words but come on. Man, he didn’t stop. Suicidal Thoughts, my all time favorite this mutherfucker is SINGING. I am like, dude this is not a sing a long, watch the fucking movie. He did this the whole movie – well up until about 30 minutes before the movie was over because he already saw that part, so he bounced. What was really crazy is he was with another dude, and even he told him to shut the hell up. I mean, are we serious, we can sing a long with the movies now. Ugh.

The movie was okay. I loved the fact, that if you looked around, everyone WAS doing the head bob. Oh and Derek Luke got Diddy on lock. I thought only Jamie Foxx did a good Diddy, but um, yeah Derek – get it. As much as I LOVE Biggie, and have him in heavy rotation faithfully, I still don’t get the attraction, Charlie Baltimore, Lil’Kim, Faith. I LOVE to laugh and you can get close to my heart and my …. that way, but um, in the favorite words of Aunty Whitney – HELL TO THE NAW!!

KIP: Irish Hiking Scarf

I started knitting this in December during my school break. I actually got really far with two balls and then stopped and started reading and some other stuff. I hope to get back to it soon.

Interview Question & Answers

Hi ya'll Patrice sent me interview questions, and my answers are listed below.

~ you discover that your husband had an affair, not only did he have an affair, he fathered a child, this child is the same age as your youngest. What do you do? Do you call it quits? Try to establish a working relationship with the other woman/child?

WHAT!! Run that by me again. Um, he would have to leave and there will be no establishing a relationship with the other woman nor child. Why, because I will not be seeing neither one of them because they would have to visit him at HIS house. Now remember I can say whatever the hell I want while the shit ain’t happened.

I just have a trust issue. My husband can basically come and go as he wants, because I assume he is doing whatever he says he is doing. I never had a problem with him, so if he is dipping he is very good. That's freedom, I ain't checking your cellphone and all that good shit. My mother told me if you gotta go looking you already know and if you look hard enough you will find it.

I like that freedom. So, you do something. I KNOW I am going to be timing your ass to the store and everything else. Fligga, it took your ass 4.6 minutes to go to the store when it normally takes you 2.3. I will not forget. I will probably throw it in your face every chance I got. So no ma'am I ain't the one. I do not think I am built for that shit.

Actually, College boy has a sister that is two or three weeks younger then him. I found this out many years later I think he was five. His dad called me and convo went like this.

Virginity Stealer: Hey, I want to come and get College Boy and take him to a bday party.
Urban: Cool, whose party?
VS: My daughter.
U: Okay. How old will she be?
VS: HE GOT REAL QUIET (why, because he was still trying to slide back in although I was with Mr. Conservative). I
U: Damn dude how old is she? You act like they would be the same age or some shit.
U: (I am laughing, he is NOT).
He went into this spill, and I told him to save the drama for his momma (of course other words were used) and that College Boy would be ready when he picked him up. He was lucky though, because he gave birthday parties for both of them at the same time every year, which meant he saved money, they are his only kids – 1 girl, 1 boy both 19 and will be 20 2 weeks after the other.

~ what has been your greatest learning experience to date?
I have many, so I will answer this seperate.

~ anger management comes to you and says she's a lesbian, she's in love, and she's getting married in 3 wks... what do you do? What is your reaction?

No matter if it was a man or woman she was marrying I would ask her if she lost her damn mind. WTH she is only 15. Naw, legal age, I would tell her about the trials and tribulations that me and her dad went through and that our dream for her is to finish school start a career and then move on.
I believe in unconditional love when it comes to my kids. Now do not get that statement twisted. I would be heart broken. Everyone dreams of seeing a miniature version of their child. That is why grandparents are all kissy poo. So, if she is with another woman or her brother with another man then that means we won’t get to see that.

Too each its own, I don't believe in it, but I would support her unconditionally. I do it now with my husband aunt. She is married to a woman and we all have a great relationship. It was very shocking at first because she use to be one of my clubbing partners and she was always the first on the dance floor getting swarmed by the guys. But when I look back sometimes I am not too surprised. Ooh I got another story, another day.

Suppose you were propositioned by one of your instructors for sex. Of course you would say no if it were just any ole instructor, but this instructor also happens to be your 1st love. The one that holds a special place in your heart. What do you do? If you and Mr. Conservative are in a rocky patch, does that change your answer?

Has happened, answer was no, not from my 1st love though. Answer to first love would be no, no matter what. When I am done, I am done.

~ Hypothetically speaking, Mr. Stephon ends up needing transplant surgery of some sort, as is customary you and hubby go in and have bloodwork done to see if you all are matches. The results come in. Neither of you are matches. Turns out their was a mix~up at birth, the nurses gave you the wrong baby. What do you do?

I would say I KNEW it. That bad as boy could not have been….. I kid.

I would of course sue the hospital (gotta get that paper) and try to find out where is my baby. They would be ten so I think it would be too traumatic to try and switch them, so I would want to form some type of bond with my child. Now if my baby is being treated like a bald headed step child, then I would try to keep Mr. Stephon and get my baby too.

Ice and Mittens

Walking on the ice yesterday was crazy. I can do snow, but not ice. I so wanted to see more of the white stuff so I can play in it. It was a serious balancing act until I got downtown. But when I left my house, I was trying to figure out what was going on with my HOA dues because the sidewalks and driveways were terrible. However, when I did get home they were much better. College Boy called me and told me he fell in the driveway and when he got to school, no one was there. I told him later that he should give his Professor his cell number because she called him cancelling school but we are not home during the day.

These are my steps. I can't even lie, I was slidding like I was on a slip and slide, but you know what I am old and got mad skills. I just let myself slide. When I stopped, I gained my composure and made a damn plan. I made a B line to the street because I saw my drive way (not college boy - youngin) and I was not going to fall - shit people could be looking out their damn window.

This is the sidewalk, I had to walk down here to get out of my subdivision after making it out of the gates. Again once I made it out, I made it to the street and was walking right down the sucker like I had bumpers because I was not getting out of the street.

I wanted to make these mittens for a very long time. I told myself that I would wait until the semester was over and then I would make them. However, I was still working on other knit projects (will take pics and introduce them to you tomorrow), and I had other plans while on break, read James Patterson, watch some movies, cook and some other stuff, so I didn’t get to do them. Well, I finally started a week or two ago, but it is going really slow because I am trying to read stuff for class, read a book I know I should not have started just before class AND life….

So, without further ado, here is my beginning mitten:



Thank you all for saying "it is my blog." Nevertheless, I feel like I am not being true to myself by being half of who I am. See this is the somewhat censored Urban (ain't that some shiggity) and a sistah needs to breathe. I have a lot I want to discuss and I would like to do that. You know I walk through life as two people – the conservative Urban, and then the um …. yeah, other Urban. So, I will see how it goes. Hell since my readers says its cool, maybe it might be this one and I have to scratch the other. To be continued......

HR Tidbits

I am taking a Legal Environment in HR class and my professor shared some stuff with us that I would like to pass on with you. Especially during these trying times. She owns her own law firm and she stated that her office is busy with cases because of the firings that are going on. So here is some stuff she told us that others just might not know. REMEMBER THESE ARE JUST TIDBITS NOT ACTUAL LEGAL ADVICES; I do not need anyone trying to sue me for my bag of Skittles.

1. Look at what you are signing. If a company asks, you to sign something during your exit interview make sure you read it. That should be a given, but I know plenty of people who don’t read the fine print, uh, look at the housing situation which I still don’t understand, but moving on. Meaning if they come to you and say hey, we have to lay you off and we will give you one weeks’ severance and a bag of chips if you sign this document. READ IT and remember you do not have to sign it. Why because to get unemployment insurance you need to be laid off or fired with “good cause”, not misconduct and if your signing stuff it could be considered a voluntary termination (depending on what’s on that paper).

2. Computer/telephone usage (can even be a copier or any office equipment). We are in trying times people. They are looking for reasons to fire people and they can fire you for misuse. A family member of hers was fired in Jersey for this last week.

3. Employers are firing people for no reason, meaning instead of laying you off firing you so you cannot get Unemployment Benefits. You could be an employee in good standing and miss a day of work with a note and they can say they never received a note – No call/no show – meaning misconduct. See it benefits the employer if you are fired NOT YOU, when you are fired, they can dispute your claim.

Again, her firms biggest cases right now are employers turning down employees for unemployment insurance.

All in all we are in rough times so be careful out there. Especially minorities, there is a rise in layoff/firings and we are normally the first on the chopping block. Minorities = WOMEN, blacks, and other nationalities.

I'm Sorry

So I need to apologize. Ya'll better listen up because I don't say sorry too much (ask Mr. Conservative and my kids). I need to apologize to the knitters out there. When I first started this blog it was suppose to be about knitting and a little of life creeped up.....then a little more. I have been off topic for a minute now and have kind of thrown around doing another blog and figured I could continue to do what I do - barely knit and then conversate about my life (hoping you all didn't notice). However, with school I have talked MORE about my life then knit, which will probably be the case until I graduate(summer 2010).

Now I will tell you this, don't hold me to it because you know I am lazy and you might read a post and be like, I thought she said she was going to stop with the TMI, well damn it I am human - beautifully human.

So, Mr. Stefon and WMATA and family oriented stuff will be here with the knitting of course and my um, other stuff and potty mouth will be on the other site.

I will upload some knitting updates pretty soon. See I have some, just wasn't doing updates.

I'm out!!

Teamwork at its finest

Why me? Why do I always get teamed up with losers. I mean for real, there has to be a cut off point of how many dumb ass people I have to work with in a life time. I mean seriously.

Okay, so I am in a new team and the professor chose these lovelies. This is my legal class and I tell you I seriously want to see if these fuckers graduated from college before. Someone was giving brains to a professor somewhere along the way.

My team has not met since January 12th when school started because of MLK bday. We have had two weeks off to meet as a team and discuss our problems right? Um, wrong. These mutherfluckas have not responded to emails or they respond with dumb shit. Here is a couple.

1. Can someone write the problem down I don’t have the book it cost $200.00 and I won’t be getting it anytime soon. This was sent on Wednesday… a week and a half after an email was sent to her.

The one chick in my group, who does her work and was in my last group said to me, you see this shit what should we do. Me. Shit. YOU can send her shit if you want to but I am not. Ya’ll may think its mean, but I don’t. I understand not having the funds to pay for books. Hell, I barely have any money, a sistah had to wait a week or two to get my hair perm, good lawd. This is my issue with her. You were given the assignment on Monday, you knew you did not have the book nor was going to get it any time soon, why not say that like Monday or when we sent you the email. You wait until its almost time for class and then said can you type it in the email, shit it ain’t one sentence, HELL NO. If you were really concerned you would have tried to talk to someone in the beginning.

2. I got one Gremlin on my team who did not perform last semester.

I did not tell you because I complain about every damn thing else, but this girl was also in my group and she did no work, and I do mean no work. Well she did turn in work that looked like the sentences was formed by a second grader or straight plagiarism or write how she speaks (I can do this on my blog), which we all know is wrong. We had to redo her shit to get an A, okay. We scheduled a time to call each other and discuss our project and when we called her, she said she was sleep and did not talk. Then she had the audacity to say she was going to present to the class, so I asked her did she plan on coming to class on time that day (she is always an hour OR two late, no bullshit) and my teammates started laughing. I honestly did not say it to be mean. I wanted to know, because she act like she could not meet with us and then as I said always late, hell on the first day of our current class, she was on time, but left early. I told them ya’ll think the shit is funny but I am serious. Needless to say, she showed up on time and presented OUR work.

3. Only one person is responding to emails. I sent out an email to them today to ask were we going to at least try and meet before class.

I get one response from this guy who said lets meet on campus at Shitbucks. Cool. That was it. WTF. I then get a phone call from the girl in my previous group to say that she is tired of them and the guy emailed her and asked her. GET THIS for the answers to the problems. I died laughing when she told me this and she said I am not responding to his dumb ass. I hanged up with her and checked my email and saw a email from him and this is what it said.

Hi Urban,

( Help, Help,Help)
Could you please send me the answers of the 2 Questions becuase I couldn't find it.

Best wishes

My response to him.

Did you read the chapter? Research the case on the web?

I mean seriously, what in the hell is really hood here. So far I still have not received a response from 3 other members in our group. How come I always have to be the bad gal. I am going to confront them either before class or after, because they will not be getting a grade based off of my work. Not gonna happen, the gremlin already did that last semester.

Oh and lookie what my horoscope says.

Taurus (4/20-5/20)
You'll have to perform a tricky negotiation with someone who rubs you the wrong way.

I was suppose to post a nice thing about teamwork, maybe tomorrow.......

Part III: Still playing games

Before I write part three let me say something. Patrice makes a good point, just cause you screw your husband/whomever, don't mean they aren't going to cheat. I firmly believe that sex don't always play the part of cheating, I think its more emotional on both partners part for whatever reasons - finances, lack of commitment and other things. However, I also believe your ass bet not leave no door open for someone else to walk through and put their foot up (shhhiiiittttt).

Text Message:

Urban: You fuck your husband yet?
Godsister and this is her actual messge: Hell no and don't plan to, tomorrow mark 6 years (but they been together for 13) he deleted the pictures i ask him why he said it was selfish of him i said we could watch it together im going to buy him some movies.

Urban: Bitch you crazy, please go and buy the dvd even though he says he don't want it. I would say i don't want it either after my snooping ass mother caught my hand in the cookie jar, he probably feels embarrassed.

She just text me and this is what it says:
Sure is I think he is embarrass too, but I am okay he probably really think its nothing coming no time soon i will leave him guessing.

Hold up, what do she mean I am okay......

I will be calling her, and I am going to put here what I wrote Patrice. I think me and the husband will have to do a drive by and pick up her kids and drop off some whip cream, champagne and condoms. She thinks this shit is cute, but people get old and don't want to play no games, especially emotions.

I am going to a Happy Hour but when I get home I am going to get to the bottom of this nonsense, I do not have time to break in another man because he up and leaves because she is acting a fool.

Part II: What she found on the computer

Part II

While trying to give her an update on me and home slice convo my boss walked in my office so I had to cut it short. I then received a text from her to call her back because it was urgent. I call her back and the conversation went like this.

Urban: What’s up?
God sister: So, you know I don’t use the computer because I get everything on my Blackb.erry. But I wanted to look at some pictures so I go and look on the house computer.
U: um kay
G: So I go under the pictures and then I see a special folder.
U: kay (laughing inside because I basically know what happened)
G: Why was it naked pictures in there and videos. Some shit talking about baby oil and stuff.
U: (crying at this point) What you do?
G: I start thinking and am like I am going to kill Bigboy (her 11th grader) when he get home. I call MYBFF (her husband) and tell him that I was on the computer and I was under that folder and do you know what I found and I am going to kill Bigboy and he was like, I am on my way home, its not his its mine.
U: I AM FUCKING DYING HERE!!
G: You laughing, but you wouldn’t be laughing if the shoe is on the other foot.
U: Why wouldn’t I? I watch the shit with him, why I gotta be mad. You can’t really be mad at him. If you act like this, this is why he hid it. Man please I know all Mr. Conservative business therefore, I don’t have that shizznit on my computer, if he do, I don’t know about it.

THIS IS THE PART THAT GRABBED MY ATTENTION.

G: well, he probably watching the shit because I ain’t fucked him 2 months.
U: WTF?!? What the hell wrong with you? Are you getting a divorce? Are you sick? Is everything okay? Is MYBFF cheating? What the hell is wrong?
G: Nothing.
U: Do you want a divorce?
G: No
U: Then you better jump on that shit. Your ass is healthy, ain’t sick and you are not trying to get a divorce. You got to be out of your damn mind. Call Vicki, somebody, hell ain’t your anniversary this weekend?
G: Yup
U: Hell we will babysit. Shit bring them two over the house. I will buy you a outfit.
G: You are so crazy…girl he is pulling in the driveway now.
U: Um, okay, well you need to hurry up and undress and meet him at the door, call you back after about three hours.

WHAT IN THE SAM HELL? I am sorry, two months is too long, not to be handling your business and you want to stay married or in a damn relationship. Fuck that, I am hunting my husband down EVERY night like a mutherfucker we have been together for almost 17 years and I ain’t never went 2 months, not even when he pissed me the hell off.

This hussy had a nerve to say to me, do you think that is why he is looking at the pictures. Um, no, everything is not about you. Men (and woman) look at p.o.r.n. because they want to. Now if he is addicted that is another thing. Everyone has their own opinion about porn, so that’s up to you what you feel and don’t feel, I just try not to control other people decisions and choices (yeah I do). However, I sure am butting in about 2 damn months because I love her husband and he is a excellent guy, hell I would trade her in and keep him. He is just that sweet, now I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors except for what she tells me and I KNOW that she is the one that is the terror.

So many stories, so little time.... Part 1

Lawd, being back at school has left me with less time to blog. Who am I lying to? That is not true; I have been on vacation for two weeks and then had Monday and Tuesday off, because of MLK and the Inauguration. I have been lazy as hell, and did not feel like blogging. Well that is a plus for you all because that means many stories. Let’s kick this off with my god sister. I WAS going to make a post about how to keep it grown and sexy with your mate for many years but after talking to her this morning I had to tell you this.

Part 1.

My god sister put me down as a reference; she is going for a top sec. clearance. So straight, no problems. Dude called me and asked could he come in person and I told him sure. He comes and I thought I was in the 1980’s. I am looking at him like WTF, he was dressed like a 1980’s Fuzz agent. I mean he had on a plaid sports coat, badly fitted, but I have noticed since looking at my husband GQ magazines, that MOST men don’t wear suits correctly (my boo do). He had the attitude of a 30 something year old, cool and pleasant and we joked about getting around the city because of the traffic with the Inauguration and then the Abortion protest (give the shit up already, go do something productive for the kids who are here). But the clothes. Okay, enough about the man clothes. But seriously people, they really should come up with a better system, I mean the questions was so lame. I have done security clearances for people before, by paper and then this time for a higher one in person. The questions are dumb/stupid to me.

First. Who is going to list a dumb ass person that is going to spill the beans on something? Uh, yes, I think she uses drugs like twice a week off her husbands’ ass….. I mean come on.

Second, the questions. I am not going to list all, but I will list the one I thought was the dumbest. Does she spend beyond her means? Um, what? How the hell do I know? Maybe she should not have bought that truck, she should have used that money to put her son through private school…..or better yet, the deck she put on her home, um, not so much. That question is so subjective.

Okay, will be back later to tell you what happened when I called to tell her about the results, and the guy when she hit me with some shit on the computer, her husband or son and some more shiggity.

Obama is so C.O.O. and L

Man oh man. Watching him walk down the hall before introducing him. All I could do is look at his walk, he just have this walk. He is so cool, calm and collective.

beautiful.

I kept thinking of that song. Morris Day and the Time "Cool"! I loved that song back in the day when my mom and them were jamming CCCCCCC OOOO OOOO and LLLLLL!! Ain't nobody bad as me...

Click Here It would not let me put the video here.

Hope this works, didn't first time.

A Change Has Come

THANK GOD!!! I am so happy this day has come and the real work will soon begin.

Peace

And then the fight started...

I got this email today and it is probably old, but this was too funny. I needed a laugh our board meeting is tomorrow and it is crazy around here.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 160
in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - -------- --------- --------- -----
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application.
When I got home, I excitedly told ;my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
H e said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started. ..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- --------- ---------- ----------
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------ -------- ---------- --------- --------- -------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------- ---------- ---------- -------- -------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ ------- ------ ----- ------ ------- ---------- ------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---------- ------ -------- -------
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather w ould be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ ------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
------------ ----- ---- --------- --------- --------- ------- ------ ------- -------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

My favorites are in red. Which one did you like?

Better explanation

Carmell, said she didn’t understand so let me explain more why I want to hurt these people.

I have ALWAYS said I would never move into an Home Owner Association. Well that was before I went looking for a home and this was one of the better homes.

I live in a gated community, with a swimming pool and beautiful landscaping, playground, clubhouse and tennis court access.

Sounds good right? WRONG.

I thought I did all my research, well it was one thing I didn’t know about – I should ask to see the HOA financials.

So we move in and never heard anything from the Home Owner Association about paying our monthly dues of $100.00. My bell start ringing, but I am thinking they will get around to it. Nope. I ask my next door neighbor and she gives me the run down of everything, beautiful neighborhood, you will love the pool, the flowers all types of stuff. I ask her when was the last home owners meeting? She says TWO years ago, she couldn’t remember. Well that didn’t sit well with me. Memorial Day come and pool don't open AND the grass isn't cut. WTF, my neighbor goes off about the pool. I told my husband that people will get concerned then and they did. But not for the right reasons.

I went over to the office and asked about the President and all the goodies and no one was there. I wait until I see someone go in and I run over. I ask him what the dilly is and he tells me this long story how we don’t have any money because our old management company took all the money and they were fighting to get it back. Needless to say the old company took a milli. Yes you heard that right and we owe creditors out the ass. And yes you heard me say we because since we are a homeowners association they can sue ALL of the homeowners. Also, every time I would ask him questions about where is this or that, they act like I was in the wrong for asking. Once a lady asked me was I a spy for their old mgmt company because I was the first one to ever ask to see old minutes (no bitch I know my rights). Needles to say they don't care for me too much, but one thing you have to know is when I start off with something I am very professional, but I can definitely take it there if need be. Also, they like to play the game of divide and concur and they are doing very well because the neighbors don't want to be involved.

So, of course this didn’t sit well with me I asked him what is going on and all of this what is the next move. I found out that they weren’t really trying to do anything. It is amazing what a little bit of power would do for some folks. Every time I would ask him something he would go back to how no one paid, and how we were suing the mgmt company. Well guess what we got back a quarter of the money. WHICH did not pay our bills we still owed. We have no leaders at all. No true board. They claim they don’t want to be bothered, but then when you say okay, well do an election so people who want to be involved can be. They stall.

I have been here for two years and the pool has not been opened. I mean that is fucking ridiculous. They changed the bylaws (to suite them) the incorrect way and I am tired. They made it so you can’t have any meetings, if you do they call them illegal meetings (yes, two meetings happened before and no I was not involved I just got there, but I did attend). The whole time they kept complaining about dumb stuff and some of the people never paid their HOA but demanded stuff. Man that is a whole nother story because it will take longer than it already have.

They finally said they would give us an election in June. We filled out paper work nothing happened. They said they would give us one in October. Nothing happened.

We have been asking for financials and have only received them once in May I think and have been getting the run around since. I have shelled out 2400 and counting so far and will continue. I do not want to, but if I do not I can’t vote and I have to be able to vote (whenever it happens) so I can have a voice.

Only some states have laws governing HOA, so that is the biggest issue, you really have no one to turn to.

Now, let me say this too. They hate pressure, if I send emails and stuff they will entertain me for a little while. HOWEVER IT IS ONLY A FEW of us, because everyone else is tired of fighting, but damn that. For instance, after I posted about protesting, I emailed them again and asked about the election and they said they will be notifying people this week and next. So a little movement again, but I do not know for how long.

So, yes I need to do something to agitate them, but I just haven’t figured out what yet. I will give them until the end of next week though since they responded to my email.

I must say I do understand their apathy SOMETIMES, you get tired of knocking your head on a wall but money is coming out of your pocket you gotta know where it is going. We have cameras that don't work, but we have Flat Screen T.V.'s, DVR to record shit with (this is what 1 person determine to buy with our settlement), that is like having a pinto with spinners.

Did I tell you my neighbors are policemen, firemen, teachers, statisticians, work for the mayor office, lawyers, radio personality and some more. I say all that to stay these are not stupid people, these are people who are functioning, tax paying citizens, but they are burned out of fighting. I'm not.

What would you do?

Is picketing your neighbors house bad for relations?

What it do people?!


I need your help with my HOA. They are BEYOND dysfunctional and what really irks me is these people are made up of the best that D.C. has to offer, but you talk about dysfunctional, I think a better word would be trifling or Ghet. not ghetto, just GHET!

We have been functioning without a board (3 certified retards) for the entire time I have been living in my home 2 years now to be exact and I am at my whits end as to what to do to them besides fucking them up. If I could get away with some shit someone would be slow walked ya dig. But since that is not the case and I know I would fall the fuck out when the pull out the handcuffs (Mama ain’t raise no punk, but I know my limits and that shit is jail) I have to come up with a better plan.

I want to picket some folks house, I got the idea from my husband on the ride to Costco.

Mr. Conservative: What the hell are the people doing? How come the election didn’t happen yet?
Urban: Why don’t you call them? I am tired of being bothered. I will pick up again tomorrow. I needed a break.
Mr. Conservative: Well you have been handling everything. I thought you were doing this, and doing that. You were getting this and that done? What happened?
Urban: I have been, I get tired sometimes, nothing is stopping you from doing anything. Don’t blame me for their dysfunction.
Mr. C: I am not blaming you I am just asking questions (he used my own fucking line on me, bitch). I mean you the one with the Poli Sci degree (low blow). You the one talking about it only take a few people when other things in government don’t work right, protest.
U: Yeah, but that does not involve our neighbors and its only a couple of us.
Mr. C: Man you need to follow your own advice and do something you talk all this shit and don’t do nothing.
U: Well others need to get involved, why I always got to be in charge.
Mr. C: I have heard you give many speeches to the kids about leaders and followers.

I so hate my husband when he is right (but oh so sexy). I slept and woke up this morning and was like you know what he is right. I can protest these mutherfuckers and I can get people together because everyone is sick and tired of being sick and tired because of the dysfunction which is how they want it to continue.

I really don’t want to start no shit with three damn neighbors but, whats a girl to do? I have sent certified letters, I have badgered them with emails. I have done all types of stuff and it gets them moving and then it gets stagnant, I am so tired of playing games. We have a pool and it has not been opened for two years. Any advice before you see me on CNN with a damn torn Spiderman bedsheets with words glued on it.

What’s a neighbor to do?

Two Finished Knit Projects: Zigzag Scarf and Slouchy Beret

Yes got darn it a knitting post!! Oh kay, kay, kay!! (in my best Little John voice)

Anger Mgmt Charlie Brown Scarf
Pattern: Zigzag Stripes in Scarfstyle

Needles: US 5 Yarn: KnitPicks Swsih DK
Colors: Skyborne 1 ½ skein
Storm 1 skein (a little left over)
Dusk 1 skein (a little left over) Started: I think mid September
Finished: December 29th

I love this scarf and furthermore Anger mgmt does too which is awesome because she is a 14 (soon to be 15 Saturday) fashionista. My kids love the color blue and once I realized I did not want to make Collegeboy blanket anymore on small needles I decided to reuse the yarn to make a scarf for Anger Mgmt.

The pattern was real easy. Since I started school I knew I could not knit Enes on the subway or the bus, so when I could knit I would pick the scarf up and knit a couple rows. The only downer with this scarf is all the ends, however, it wasn’t too bad. I would do a couple sections and then do the ends, that way I would not be overwhelmed at the end.

I love the back of the scarf just as much as the front. This scarf is full of texture. I think the scarf looks like it is crocheted, but of course it is not I can’t crochet worth a lick. Close to the end I started thinking of this scarf as a Charlie Brown scarf because of the zigzag. Maybe I have been watching too many Charlie Brown specials for Thanksgiving and Xmas.

Scarfstyle is such an awesome book. I love the fact that almost every scarf is cute and you can do more than one pattern out the book. This is my second scarf out the book and I have plenty more to go…..like finishing up Ene’s.

Anger Mgmt Slouchy Beret
Pattern: Gwen's Slouchy Beret by Lauren

Needles: 7 & 9 16 inch Circulars

Yarn: Rowan RYC Cashsoft Color: Blue

I also made Anger Mgmt a beret like mine. I completed this in two days. She kept trying to wear mines and I knew it was a matter of time before I could not find mine so I made her one. She has been wearing this thing for months. I believe I completed this in September or October. I did it in blue to match her Ruffle Scarf and it matches this scarf as well. Kudos to me – oh and I reused some of the yarn from the Cecile Beanie since she didn’t wear it that much.

A close up of the design

Go Urban, it’s ur birthday, go Urban it’s ur birthday!!

Ha!

Stop playing with my emotions

I wish the weather would stop playing with my emotions. I do not know what the hell to wear. I mean one minute it is 20 degrees outside and the next 73. Although I am grateful for the sunshine. I personally would like the regular damn temperature. I can handle the 40 – 50 degrees, I will layer up or something. My body is chilled to the bone because it has not had a chance to get use to the damn weather. M my psyche cannot take this shit.

As I am typing this, the wind is acting like the three little pigs and trying to blow my house down. I find myself thinking about the old house I grew up in where I felt safe from the elements. WELL, these new homes aren’t worth shit. I am scared that one more blow will knock a damn window out.

Stop playing with my emotions homie....

Italian Christmas - Oh Joy

Hey folks,

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate. We spent the holiday at my in-law house. Yeah me! Everything was Italian food.

Now, I understand everyone gets tired of the bird, but as my daughter said – grandma, we only eat it a couple times a year. Jeez. The food was okay, but she called me for half the recipes. If this ain’t your thing, why pick a holiday to do it? Oh and people, you cannot or should I say should not make lasagna with cheddar cheese WTF. My husband aunt can’t cook worth shit. I mean seriously no one eats her food. Example - a couple years ago she made stuffing and the shit was the consistency of sand. No bull, it was grainy like sand. I got caught up though because his mother offered me the lasagna and I love lasagna so I was like yes, cut me a piece and then she said – yeah, Aunt No Cook made it. My husband was DYING and no one else got a piece. I was going to slyly throw it in the trash, but my MIL was on me like how does it taste and so I had to take a bite. That shit was horrible. I just said, yes it taste okay, but um, I really don’t eat cheddar cheese on my lasagna, she turned her head and that shit went in the trash.

We had fun though, we played Pictionary and it was HILARIOUS!! My team won as usual. I think I told you all or maybe I didn’t that I originally didn’t want to go to the party because my husband family teases me about being smart (as if I am going to dumb it down – man up your vocab people). Every holiday they play games and I am cool with that, but I play to win. So I stopped playing with them to give their ass a chance to win, but when I say no. His mom and family say come on and play even though we know you are going to beat us. Urban is sooo smart (GTFOH, I can’t help I read). Shut the fuck up with ya’ll backhand compliments. Do what my family do and play cards! Spades anyone?

Well, Pictionary have nothing to do with smarts, but you need to know how to draw a little and try to come up with a concept. Mr. Stefon was too damn funny. He is so competitive (do not know where he got that from). He told his grandma and his aunt he did not want to be on their team because they did not know what they were doing (they played Thanksgiving and he gave them a what for I am told). He was yelling at them because they could not get simple shit. He would go to draw and say I know ya’ll not going to get it. I thought I would die. I tried to explain teamwork and he said I know mommy but they just cannot get it, watch. His grandma told him, we really going to try this time. I was CRYIN!!

The best part about the holiday.

Grandma: Kids did you bring your clothes?
Kids: No, we did not know we were going to spend the night.
Grandma: Well, you know you should have bought clothes, but I have a washer and dryer.
Mr. Stefon: Anger Mgmt you going to stay?
Anger Mgmt: I have homework packets to do (fucking nerd).
Mr. Conservative: I will come get you on Saturday.
Anger Mgmt: Okay
Mr. Conservative and I: Bye and Merry Xmas.

WE DIPPED!! Went home turned the fireplace on got some drinks and had a private dance party.

Merry Christmas

Hey everyone,

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!!!

urbanknitrix

I want to be like Mike or maybe not...

Mr. Stefon: Mommy, I want to be like daddy when I grow up.
Me: You should your dad is a great man.
MS: I know he does everything for me.
Me: Yes, he gets up every morning and goes to work to make a better life for us.
MS: Mommy, did you know a lot of kids do not meet their father until they are adults.
Me: Yes, and some do not meet them then. Did you know I did not meet my father until I was eight?
MS: Is that why we do not go see granddaddy on your side?
Me: Well yes and no, I just do not go around because we do not have a relationship like you two. Remember Pops, grandma husband that died, he was my dad, he was the one who took care of us like your daddy, give us medicine, and go to our schools and stuff.
MS: Well, daddy yells sometimes and punishes me, but I am happy he is here for us.
Me: Yes and you remember that and make sure you are there for your kids no matter what.

I told my husband what he said because I believe that is the ultimate compliment. Of course, my husband turns around and says he wants him to be better than him, but to me that is not the point. Kids just want to be safe.

I did not meet my dad until I was 8 years old and it was not one of those reunions where we kept in contact all the time. The next time I saw my father my daughter was 1 years old and we began to keep in contact. However, I do not talk to him all the time. Right now, he is kinda beefing with me because I will not pick money up from his house. I just do not feel like it is my place and I am not hurting for it so its whatever. Although, he has not been a father, I respect the fact he spilled his seed and I am here so I do call him daddy even though he has not been a father or a daddy to me.

Dad: Hey, I miss you how are you?
Me: Fine, how are you?
Dad: Okay, I no longer have prostate cancer, the surgery went well.
Me: That’s good.
Dad: So, you going to come over here to get this money? I told you I have $50 for you and your old man and the kids – how many do you have again?
Me: Three. Thanks dad, but you do not have to give me any money.
Dad: You need to come on over here and get this. I have been holding it for you and you need to get it, it is not much but the kids can buy themselves something and you can get a little something for yourself.
Me: I know, but you keep it.
Dad: Just call me and let me know when you are coming to get it. How is your mother doing?
Me: (UGH) She is doing fine.
Dad: Tell her to call me when she comes back in town.
Me: Okay, I will.

My mother lives in Mocha City about fifteen minutes from his ass since she moved from Hotlanta in April, but he do not need to know that. This man always ask me about my mother is doing and truth be told, if I told her I spoke to him, she ask about him. Well guess what? I do not tell the other anything about each other; they can try to hook up on their own time.

I know my father reason for trying to give me the money but honestly, I do not care. I feel sad sometimes that my kids do not get to see that side of my family; I mean my grandmother is a trip and it would be nice for them to see their great grandmother who is still spunky and tells everyone she is 50 with 28 years of experience. She is so beautiful, she is the only one I miss, and I see so much of myself in her – my height, my complexion, my looks, my humor, but with all that said I am content. I speak to her occasionally, the last time we talked was Sunday, before that I do not know.

I am seriously okay with our relationship and he needs to be too. My husband, friends and mother (of all people) tell me I am wrong and I should not be like that (do not know what they mean).

It would have been nice to grow up with my father, but at the same time, I had my uncle in my life and my stepdad, so I do not feel like I missed much because they were always there. When I went in labor the first time, I would not go to the hospital until my uncle came all the way from Chocolate City to the other side of MD to take me to the hospital and he did it and soon as I got there I had College boy, his father was not to pleased that I could not leave until my uncle got there but tough cookie. Sang for joy when I graduated from high school and then college. When I bought my house, my uncle was there crying and told me how proud he was of me and then turned around and told me what I needed to do with my damn yard and then showed me how to garden correctly (this man gets on my nerve in that department).

So, for me I am happy I had men in my life who picked up the slack when another man didn’t feel the need to and yes he may want to make amends now, but I AM A GROWN AS WOMAN and really just don’t see the need. I am never mean; I always answer his calls, sometimes call him, and say dad or daddy and I love you when he says it to me. I mean him no ill will at all, so why do I need to let him in as everyone says? I just do not get it. I am always accused of been hard and I am not, I am just logical.

Damn, how in the hell did this post switch from my son and his dad to me and my dad. Anywho.

Weekend Bliss

The weekend was quite lovely.

Friday

The kids went over grandma house for the weekend. They went to a skating party. College boy went over his dads’ house, which mean we were childless. However, I did not take full advantage. My husband took the kids to their destinations and I was supposed to be setting up the fireplace (yes, it finally works) and all that. My ass was knocked out on the sofa when he came home.

Saturday

My husband had to go to work which means I had the ENTIRE house to myself. Damn it was a good day. I had college basketball, a movie, food, drinks and dancing (Reggae). That is my kinda damn day.

How bout them boys!!! LET’S GO HOYAS!! HOYAS beat Memphis, I thought I was going to have to freak somebody up because the game went into overtime when it should have been over, but it was all good. LET’S GO HOYAS!!!

My girlfriends and I decided to go to Jerry’s Seafood. Someone (lied) told her they had the bomb shiggity crab cakes and that they were better than Oceanaire (she ain’t never been). Man please it was no competition. I must be fair though. I did not have their crab cakes, so I can not compare apples to apples. However, they are known for their crab bomb which is only lump crab meat no fillers and broiled. Sounds good right, well you would be wrong. That shit was some garbage. It was broiled and it was chewy and greasy. I am a picky eater, I barely like any restaurant but when I do I will give it props. If your in D.C. take your ass to Oceanaire and get their crab cake. No competition, so I will be taking them there to try a real damn crab cake.

After eating out we saw Cadillac Records. The movie was okay. It was about thirty people deep if that many - dang. The trailer is a little misleading. I thought B had a bigger role playing Etta. I mean that is how they hyped it up. I saw interviews with her saying how she went to a rehab clinic to see how a heroin addict acts, she wasted her time she did not appear in the movie until halfway through. Anywho, I could care less, they paid my damn way.

After that, we went to get drinks down Adams Morgan and had a blast. Except for one of my chicas wanting to fight one of the bouncers. Long story.

Sunday

I slept so damn good. I mean really slept and I needed it, I almost feel back to normal. I watched Dexter and am a little disappointed, but whatever. I will just wait for Big Love.

Sipping on Patron!!

Man oh Man I am done!!!!! I feel like I just got a couple snow days!!! The final was 25 True and False questions and I was out in like 10 minutes. DONE! You Dig!! I made some much needed Happy Hour appointment with classmates I can stomache with alcohol and I was ghost.

So what did I do, with all that extra time?

Came home made cheese steak - steak, provolone cheese, mushrooms and onions.

Mr. Bartendar made me a Margarita with Patron Silver (thank you, so I wont get an headache).

I am so happy I will not be seeing this place until January, now I will just await the grades.

African Rats as Pet!!! GTFOH

What in the Sam’s (I still have no clue who Sam is) Hell?

I had to post this. The husband and I are listening to Tom Joyner this morning and Roland and Anderson Cooper is on and they are talking about whatever, wasn’t paying too much attention until we heard, “Monkey Pox is occurring more often and Americans should start to worry because it has begun showing up here.” “It came here because people started bring THEIR PET AFRICAN RATS HERE.”

GTFOH!!

Anderson said I know Jay Anthony has something to say and my husband and I looked at each other and said WHO THE HELL IS BRINGING AFRICAN RATS OVER HERE AS PETS!!!!! AS FREAKING PETS!!! Man I wish you all could have seen my husband face.

Oh lawd I am still dying laughing and confused. However, they have been seen in Florida. Floridians you better watch your back that is not a possum or regular ole rat. You all might want watch CNN tonight. I am in Chocolate (mocha) City and we have a serious rat problem, those mofos look like cats, so unless they got street skillz I do not think I have anything to worry about right now.

Every time I think I have heard it all, I hear something else. So, you know everyone wants to be different. We had the Madagascar Cockroach showing up on the runway a couple years ago. Everybody and their mamma have been rocking the miniature dog in their purse. You know we like to be first, so who is going to rock the furry rat first? T.I., Lil’ Kim, you perhaps? Throw a diamond-studded collar….CAN’T TELL ME NUTHIN!!!

Who wants this exotic creature up under/eating their tree Christmas morning? Tell the truth.

By the way he is intelligent, in this picture he is sniffing for land mines.

I know why the cage bird sings....

Freedom damn it! And when she ain’t got any she shut the hell up because her ass is in the house being mother and wifey trying to plot to get the hell out!!!

Conversation with my BFF #3.

Urban: I can’t take this shit.
BFF #3: WTF are you talking about?
Me: Man, I can’t take this being a wife and a mother bull shiggity. I can’t do this shit all day, every day.
BFF: Um, I hate to break the news to you, but you been doing this shit on a regular for a minute now. Oh and you are a wife and a mother. (she is dying laughing).
Me: You know what I am talking about. I ain’t your every day mom and wife. You know I have to be out and about.

Don’t get the wrong idea. There is nothing wrong going on in my household. I love my kids and my husband and wouldn’t trade their ass in (I might for some pineapple now&laters). See, I don’t mind the cooking – I try and cook meals, everyday, not frozen dinners (if you do that’s you not judging), I want my kids to remember home cooked meals after school (except when my ass is tired, but dad steps in). I don’t mind sexing the husband AT ALL, I told ya’ll before I am 34 and the elders NEVER LIED (singing Rick James, give it to me baby), I put something on it – ya dig, I got a degree in that area. I will bring out the…… Anywho, the point is, I don’t mind that.

However, I am with them ALL day, EVERY day and I get tired of routines. I have to break the monotony or I feel like I have lost Urban.

I love being around people and enjoying life and I have not really kicked my legs up because I have been in school, and being wifey.

Well, let me tell you I hear a bird about to start singing, um, right after I take my last final tonight!

Weekend

Friday was very eventful. In the morning Mr. Stefon and I was in a hit and run on the metrobus. The truck ran a red light, then decided to back up into the side of us while the bus was still moving. The bus stopped, the truck took off. I thought about diving on the floor screaming my neck and my back, but figured that would not be a good character move, especially with studying ethics and all. Dayhum.

Later, I got a text from my husband asking me did I want to go out for drinks or stay in for drinks. Um, GO OUT. I get off go home, and it changes to stay in for drinks. Dayhum, I swear he knew I was planning on going out with the girls. So, we stayed home, order the nasty Chinese food ever, and I STILL did not get anything to drink. He made himself a Pomegranate Martini. I had the pleasure of pressing, flattening, curing my daughter natural hair for a dinner she was going to on Saturday. I so wish she would get a perm, well not really. Nevertheless, I am tired of doing her hair.

Saturday, Stefon had his first party/sleepover at a non-family member house. I was on pins and needles all night. I do not mind if my kids going over family members houses – well grandparents houses, but others, no. I convince my kids they would have a better time at our house. Well, I could not compete with laser tag and an indoor pool. The pool is what really sent me over the edge. Mr. Stefon and water, oh lawd. Well he came back in one piece, so that was good. Anger Mgmt went to her party with her friends, her friend is moving to Brazil, her parents are in the service. She looked so cute, with her mini heels on. Mr. Conservative made a 15 bean soup and as much as the kids and me turned our nose up and said we were not eating it, it was So.Damn.Gooooooood.

Sunday was very peaceful day. I laid around, studied a little, cleaned up a little and cooked. Man cooking was awesome; I cooked big breakfast and dinner. It was needed. College Boy asked me what was the special occasion. I said, I always cook like this, he said you have not cooked like this in a couple months. Kids.

I made a roasted chicken, and it was very aromatic. I come down the stairs to baste the bird.

Mr. Conservative – Damn, you sure did use a rack of garlic.
Me – (hurt) what? If you have a problem with my cooking you need to cook yourself, ain’t nothing wrong with your hands.
Mr. Conservative – Man please. Why you catching an attitude? I did not know we were trying to kill vampires and werewolves.

All I could do was laugh and jump on his ass. We wrestled for a little…….