Almost forgot!!

I have been waiting for this damn day. No not Sasha Fierce, but TROPIC THUNDER!!!! I am so going to get it after work.

I knew I would be buying this once the credits rolled at the movies. I am telling you, boy go get yours. This will be a classic like Friday.

Oh I so can't wait!! People have the wrong impression of this movie, but you know what - oh well.

No Little Mr. Stefons Over Here!!

Me: Um, what you doing you better get it.
Mr. Conservative: There isn’t any.
Me: WHAT (you know I am HOT MAD!!, Pissed!!)
Mr. Conservative: I thought it was some in the drawer, but it is not.
Me: Cut the light on.

Ya’ll we turned that fucking drawer up. Nothing. We looked like crack addicts, trying to come up with anything, well how about.....what if I ....... well you could......

Me: Um, I think I got some in the closet in my lingerie drawer.

I’m throwing panties, bras and some other good shit on the floor. GOT IT!!

Mr. Conservative: You found one.
Me: YES SIR
Me: Nosy as hell…..look at the package because this shit has been there a long time.

WHY THE HELL WAS IT EXPIRED by two years!!! HOW COME WE STILL USED THAT FUCKER!!

Next day leaving work…….

I go to WrongAide (I really hate this store, but hell I figure I take one for the team) because it is by the subway, and I figured let me stock up, since he can’t handle business. The security guards at the store on U Street act like the customers are Obama and they are Secret Service. I am looking at magazines and this fucker keeps walking by, I am like um, okay is he watching me. I have a suit on, very urban chic, not homeless looking, or someone willing to do time for a fucking magazine.

Why the hell this mother fucker come back and act like he is fixing the magazines?

RentACop: Excuse me we don’t allow that.
Me: You don’t allow what?
RentACop: People looking at the magazines.
Me: (laughing) Are you serious?
RentACop: Yes.
Me: Bullshit, if I am buying I am previewing. Keep your magazine.

Yes, Ma’am I said it, what type of bullshiggity is that. I am mad as hell and heading out when I remember the condoms. The hell if I am leaving without them. Of course if the secret service is spying on me looking at magazines you know the condoms are locked up.

Me: Excuse me sir, do you have a key for the condom (whispering and talking fast).
Idiot #1: What? (It sound like he yelled, but he probably didn’t).
Me: Do you have a key for the condoms?
Idiot #1: WHY the hell this fool YELL across the room to Idiot #2, YOU GOT THE KEYS TO THE CONDOM?
Me: **DEAD** Just standing there like are you serious? I mean really!!
Idiot #2: Yells back, no I don’t got the condom key ask Idiot #3. YES everyone in the store is looking in my directions.

Why in the hell Idiot #1 is about to start yelling at Idiot #3, I said, you know what fuck it, I am not coming back to this damn store. I gave my husband a good yelling out for that one. He thought it was the funniest fucking thing…………….well not for long, because when his ass rolled over that night it was no haps because THIS NEGRO DID NOT STOP AND GET ANY

Mr. Conservative: I am about to go to the corner store.
Me: Oh really, that’s’ good, I am about to go to sleep.

PEACE!! Well, it actually wasn’t peace, but ain’t no little Mr. Stefons’ over here.

Weekend, Homework Hell, My Goodies

This weekend was great. Didn’t do too much.

Mr. Conservative and I went to the movies Friday and then went out to eat. We went to PING. It was okay. I got the Kung Pao mix and hubby got the sushi. He loved his, me no likey mine. Too damn salty, but it was a nice atmosphere so all was good. Also, I liked the fact that you could order sushi or Chinese food at the table because a lot times its one or the other.

Saturday, stayed in bed funky as hell. I told myself no t.v., no shower, now food until I completed my paper. I jumped on the internet a couple times. But I got it done by 2:30. I was so happy to see water and soap. DAYHUM!!!

Homework Hell

Well, after I got out of the shower Mr. Stefon wanted help with his homework - math. Mr. Stefon works my nerves when he ask for help because he is a KNOW IT ALL and don’t know shit. So here goes our convo.

Me: Mr. Stefon what is 2x =10

Mr. Stefon: Oh that’s easy.

Me: Okay, well what is it.

Mr. Stefon: Let’s see, that is so easy it is 5.

Me: So, X=5

Mr. Stefon: Yes mom, can we move on.

Me: We could if you didn’t put the wrong answer you have 2.

Mr. Stefon: No, I don’t. SOMEONE, must have changed it because I know the answer

Me: **BLANK STARE**

Me: What?

Mr. Stefon. (Dead serious) someone must have erased it.

Me: Look, are you trying to say I did it, because the only people who could have done it is ME or YOU.

Mr. Stefon: Mommy, I know the answer.

Me: OKAY, but don’t accuse me of changing your damn answer, I don’t even have a pencil, AND you just handed to me and is sitting right here. Why can’t you just admit, you made a mistake, you know the answer, but just fast.

SEE!!! Remember he accused me of stealing before the same way, I think I told you all about that, if not, I can. Little flucker.

OH LAWD!!!

Oh and I think I ruined him for all woman. This morning I gave that boy everything he needed to take a shower (body wash, deodorant, lotion, sock bag), so I could have peace when I get in the shower, but nope that is not what happened. I am in MY room with the door closed, in MY bathroom with the door slightly open, assed out and have the shower running. I am in the BIG ASS MIRROR washing my face before I get in – I know wasting water (working on it), when I hear. Um mommy to my horror the fucking door is ajar. I am screaming remembering my lumpy body is visible in the damn mirror which means he can see me.

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!!

Mr. Stefon: (EYES AVOIDING ME) I knocked but you couldn’t hear me, I need my uniform.

Me: So, why are you in here, go downstairs check the dryer, your room, I don’t have them. Don’t come in my damn room.

Ya’ll I can laugh now, but not then. That boy saw my goodies. How do I know? He looked like he wanted to die, when I opened the door, he was stammering and everything. Here his father got me thinking I am a 10 and from the look of that boys frighten face, I look more like a beat up copper penny.

A brand new day!!

Thank you all for commenting.

I have made a decision. I cannot keep this child lie, and I will not betray him. I will do what most mothers do. Talk to him and tell him that he has to tell them, but I will help him out, as I always do when the kids need to tell their dad something. I am also setting up an appointment with Kaiser Behavioral Health, nothing wrong with a little counseling if you need it.

I will tell my husband first, so that it lowers the blow. I will also tell his dad the same way for the same reason. He is going over his dad house this weekend so I will tell him Monday – that way he has a whole week before he sees him again.

It is not as bad as it seems – but for a kid (yes I know he is 19, but have you ever disappointed your parents?), I guess it seems like it; I just do not want to hold the lie.

Moving on!!

What do you all have planned for today? Me?

Well, I have been up since 3 a.m. I could not sleep (I wonder why). Therefore, I got up and made Anger Management (and fam) some breakfast to take with her on her trip to NYC. Of course, the food woke up Mr. Stefon as well. Since I was up, I got a head start on one of two papers I need to complete. The husband and I are going out when we get off. I cannot wait.

Anger Mgmt is in New York today with her Entrepreneurship class. They are giving the kids money to buy items they can sell once they return. Isn’t that just nice!! I wish someone would give me money to spend!!! I told her she needs to figure out a plan before she gets there and do not share her idea or someone might take it (yes her mamma is competitive) and she might have competition. She said, she thinks she is going for hats and scarves for the girls.

Mr. Stefon has been excellent lately (knock on wood hard as hell). I asked him if he wanted to read Harry Potter together and he said he would have to let me know.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!

Okay lovely people I need your help. I do not lie to my husband, I feel no need. When I use to run the streets – Babe where you going – um, to the strip club, food done and I’m out. But if I did tell a lie damn it, he’d never no. Deny, deny, deny – moving on.

So, here’s what I need help on.

I noticed some things with my oldest son – College boy. He has been very aloof and just to himself. I told you he is a different cat. He has always been quiet and to himself, and the kids laugh at him because he likes “white”music, and talk “white” (some bullshit, no such damn thing). He is a cutie, not just because I am his momma, anyone who has seen him will tell ya (I might try and slide a picture on here, but um, you know Mr. Conservative says no – he is not the boss of me). Anyway, he can not tell a lie. He won’t just come out and tell you some shit, but if you ask him straight out, he will give you the answer, even if he knows he will get in trouble – trick is asking the right question. Well, let me get to the meat. Mr. Conservative, asked him about school and I noticed that he gave a kind of loose answer, so when I was off last week and he was home too, I asked him straight out how was school. He looked at me and he looked like he was going to cry and said, Mommy, I can’t lie, not good. He went into all this stuff and we determined that he is depressed, which I already knew by his appearance and his separation. He said he was happy to finally tell me because it was hard trying to keep up appearances (that is why he has been locked in his room except for meals, so we would not ask him anything).

I am so hurt by this, because he should have come and talked to me in the beginning, but I know I have a strong personality and sometimes this scares the kids (and Mr. Conservative). I do not know why, because I personally think I am the kindest person in the world, I just give it straight. I am also hurt, because I can’ t give him medicine or kiss it and make it better.

Well, I advised him to talk to his professors and we determined that he should withdraw from his classes instead of failing them. I do not think drugs, and all the other stuff is involved, but I do know he is depressed. I also talked to him about his plans for college. He knows our plans for him, they have to get an education. We have always preached college, graduate school. However, I also know that college is not for everyone, so I asked him how he felt about college – was it the school, his major or if he wanted to just quit. I told him, that if he decided to quit, I would be upset, but if he did, he would have to get a job and go to a trade school and learn a skill. He said no that was not it, he wants to go to school (Hallelujah!! I do not know what I would have done, if he said otherwise).

So, the deal is as long as he goes to school he does not have to work. However, since he is withdrawing from school I told him he has to get a job, he has to come out of the room and get dressed everyday and by the end of this week (tomorrow) he has to present to me a 1 month, 3 month and 1 year plan and how he plans to reach these goals.

My dilemma is this. Mr. Conservative do not know and anyone who can do math should know that Mr. Conservative is not his biological father, we met when he was two and his been in his life every since. His father is also in his life, he has been blessed with two awesome men that care about him. HOWEVER, they both did not go to college and they have all their hopes and dreams riding on his back.

I asked him when were we going to sit down and talk to Mr. Conservative about this and he told me, I can’t deal with it right now, can I find a job first and then talk to him and dad. People I understand where he is coming from, but it puts me in the middle. I was okay with knowing and not telling them when we were trying to figure out what he should do. However, I am very uncomfortable knowing this and smiling in my husband face and not telling him that your son gets up every morning brush his teeth, wash his face and acts like he is going to school when he is not. Oh and he might be depressed.

What’s a mother to do? What would you do? ALL opinions are welcomed, I’m not feeling this lying shit.

WOW!!!

OBAMA WON!!!

Pleasantly Surprised!!

Yes Ma'am!! My peoples proved me wrong and I am sooooooo damn happy about that!! D.C. only get 3 electoral votes but so damn what, we count too!! We stood in line for 2 hours, but it was a good two hours. The line moved, until I got to the front. Why didn't I marry a man with the last name of an A or a Z DAMN!!!! Was totally hot seeing all the Andrews and Youngs moving past me.

I swear for God I got a little agitated when I saw a pregnant woman move ahead - um, that is NOT a disability, her ass can stay in line. Sorry, that was the bad side of me talking, although Anger Mgmt said the same thing. I even started looking at people with canes, like her ass is carrying the cane, not using it, but again, that is the Urban that was in line for 2 hours and the kids working my nerves. I had to tell them - I hope you know, I am on to you guys, I am not letting you leave just because your fighting with each others, so you might as well act right!! One

One of my coworkers who live in Virginia walked right in and out. What is that about?

College boy was so scared, didn't know what to do, but he got it done AND I AM A VERY, VERY, UM, VERY PROUD MAMA!!!

Mr. Stefon, asked how come there were no drive through lines, people shouldn't have to stand long. Then he wanted to know if you could go and vote somewhere else too. I told him, you get one vote, he said, how are we gonna get his man Obama in if you get only one vote - um are you trying to cheat? I then asked him, to stop complaining about the line, what will you do when your older and the line is this long? He said, get in his car and drive off, then said he was kidding. Anger Mgmt said, no your not. That is why me and College boy will have to scoop you up, because we don't trust you.

A nice story I heard about on the radio.

There was an elderly lady standing in line and one of the poll workers went to her and said, excuse me, if your elderly or disable you do not have to stand in line, you can come to the front and she said. I am 80 years old and I waited all these years to do this, therefore, I am going to keep standing in line like I was doing. I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!!

So many people were taking pictures (did I sign a waiver?) and so was I. A beautiful, beautiful thing.

Now we wait.

My Thoughts

Today is the day people. Make sure you go out and do your civic duty. Now back to me.

I just did something, I have not done in a VERY long time. I got on my cracking knees and prayed. If you have been reading this blog you know how I feel about religion right now. Don't get me wrong, I pray, I just haven't been on these squeaky joints in a minute.

Why, you ask? I really don't know. I was doing my hair and looking in the mirror and I just started reflecting on today and a dream/nightmare I have been having the last couple of days and I was told to drop the flat iron and get on my knees and pray, so I did what I was told. I prayed for BOTH candidates, and my fellow Americans. I am scared, not so much for the future, but for my people. My mother is superstitious and told me when I was little that if you have a bad dream tell it because it won't come true, so I am going to tell you this. Black people please be safe, I just feel a need to say that, so I am.

On another note, I am very happy today, because I am SO DAMN TIRED OF THIS ELECTION, I am ready to move on, especially, when you start appearing during Monday Night Football. I hate to say it, but I think this will be copied, and depending on the outcome it may start before 2 years next go round.

Well, I am dressed, everyone in my house is getting dressed - Anger Mgmt, Mr. Stefon and College Boy, we are about to go to the polls and today will be the first time College Boy will be casting his vote, he hasn't told me who decided to vote for yet, which is cool, as long as he is voting today. Mr. Conservative and College Boys are independents (losers). Mr. Conservative is voting after work.

Folks, I have to go so I can get in and out, I hate to say it, but I do not think the line where I live will be that long, this is my first time voting in this area, but they never seem to care about anything. I hope they prove me very wrong. In my old neighborhood I would have to be in line already.

Make sure you cast your vote today, I can care less who you vote for, just do it, be a productive member of society in the rain or cold. I believe that weather plays a big part on who comes out to vote, so grab your knit gear and umbrella and do the damn thing.

Oh and Shitbucks are giving away a free T.all coffee on the honor system.

MR. STEFON BIRTHDAY

Yes sir, Mr. Stefon is 10 years old!!!!




Here he is as a drummer 2 years ago and this summer with the Hulk. Mr. Conservative is serious about the pictures not being on the net, I will discuss that tomorrow.

This morning I told him Happy Birthday and he said Thank you. I was shocked, no extra talking. So, I asked Anger Mgmt did you tell your brother Happy Bday and she said, yeah, I been told him, he said, FINALLY, dang. I said, okay sounds bout right. I told Mr. Stefon, usually you walk around the house screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY, SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME' (he does this BEFORE you have a chance to say it) He said, I am too old for that, that was so last year mommy. Um, kay.

I would not trade my baby in for anything....................................or would I?.......I kid, I kid!!

Sorry for everything being quick and jumbled up, wanted to post about his bday, I'm out grammatical errors and all. (the usual)

You betta WORK!!

DAYHUM!!!!!



Just wow. Freak what you heard he is rocking whatever the hell he is working that retarded ass song. Just wow. No damn words...........except...........um...........when does class start? I mean I think I would lose at least 20lbs and a couple inches.

Remy is good for your body

Hey,

I had class tonight and my husband picked me up and made me a drink and I am feeling good as hell right now!!! The kids are sleep and we are watching the slow as debate where McCain might sell a kid or something to get into office. Oh my Remy VSOP is the bomb!!! I am suppose to be studying for my exam but um, that is not going to happen. I spoke to my bestest girlfriend and I cursed her out and we laughed - typical me. The best thing I love about her - she is not only beautiful on the outside she is so genuine on the inside. She is one of those people that always see the positive side - as we all know I am not, I see ALL sides damn it. Anywho, back to the debate and me seducing the husband.

I hollah!!

Let them fight!!! Lace up your boots!!!

Why won’t they just give them gloves and let them fight. McCain look seriously mad and Obama got that laugh like whatever, you don’t know me for real.

McCain look seriously desperate. He is grasping at straws. OMG this is so funny.

Oh and who the hell is Joe. Senator Obama, do you know Joe. Man get the fuck out of here. He is Joe got darn it.

My best friend is gone!

I am really, seriously, sad right now. I am writing this post through some crocodile tears. As, I previously stated in my quickie post that my bestest girlfriend in the Whole Wide World has moved. She called me today and told me she moved to Wilson, North Carolina. Ya’ll I know she had to do it because she was being harassed and stalked and she needed to do it for her and her children (my god babies) safety, but still.

We have been friends since we were 13 years old. I moved to the neighborhood and to a new middle school and I remember this girl with this twang in my French class and I use to tease the hell out of her (yes, I did be quiet).

She has two gorgeous little girls (and I am not saying that because I am their god mommy) and the last ones father is a BIG asshole. He has always been hateful and from the first time I met him I told her AND him that I HATE him. He has done so many hateful things, so I will just tell you a little.

1. He told her when they were out that her daughter; a 4 year old at the time was a snob. I told her to kick his old ass to the curb he was in his 40’s (I know he is not old, but I am saying).
2. Another time when she was pregnant with his child, he threw her across a table.
3. Another time when it was the coldest day of the winter 3 years ago and his daughter was a month old he threw her, the baby and her daughter out of the house with socks and t-shirt on. How do I know? She called me from a neighbor house. I know he is not the only one at fault she should have left. I told her when she called to please go home (she had her own place still – another story), or come to my house and stay. She said she would and she did not.
4. She has also caught his fat ass cheating more then once- the internet, and more.

Oh and the killah, she is drop dead gorgeous, and very intelligent (well questionable now, do not judge me) and he is a hood rat and ain’t cute (everyone who meets them wants to know what are they doing together). He chased her for three years and she told him no, finally she said okay and this is what she gets for it. Ugh, you would think with all that chasing he would put her on a pedestal, but um no.

Well, he does not want to pay for child support so he is always trying to find away out, want to file for custody and all types of shit and he has tried this so many times. Last time he filed her for his taxes and he was not allowed to, he just called her AFTER doing it, talking about, I know your going to be mad, but I thought it was only fair. WTF!!! I mean how fast can you dial the IRS….ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiitttt!!

Well, he is now taking her BACK to court again. The reason, he does not want to pay child support, he is so sickening, and by the way, this is his only child. Old men are just as bad as young men. He went to her church (were her father is a reverend) acting a full, her job acting like a fool (did I tell you she works for child support enforcement - yup), he showed his ass and they called people on her.

So, her mom and dad pick their child up from the daycare and watch her until she comes and get her. She pulls up in front of her mom and dad house and she sees this car racing up to her car. Of course it is him, she believes his next door neighbor in his car, and he says to the guy throw that shit at the bitch (subpoena). She did not say anything to him, she just continued getting her daughter out of the car (yes the muthafucker did it in front of her). The guy gets out of the car and throws it at her, she looked at it and kept walking. He starts saying how he should kill her and that he hates her and this bull crap and she took it very seriously – which she should. She filed a protective order and while completed it, a domestic.abuse organization got involved and helped her be very detailed and specific which went from a protective order to harassment. But she still did not feel safe, so she got out of dodge and I told her I understood. I did/do, but I can’t help but be selfish.

Remembering the time, when she taught me how to drive in her brand new car and not caring that it was new. Falling asleep while we were on the highway from B’more to D.C. or better yet driving to North Carolina and me waking her up telling her I don’t want to drive because it was raining and she told me to man up (ya’ll know I don’t drive, but I did with her). OOOh Lord, the time we went to Tyson Corner and the car was tied down with a hanger or something and the hood came up while we were driving on the highway - dying, her father and my husband wanted to kill us, we did not care, we were going to Nordstorm and needed to get there. Being there threw each one of my kids birth and me for her. Throwing her a baby shower for her first daughter who was suppose to be a boy so we did the whole damn thing BLUE - oh my. Remembering, when we rode on the back of bikes (ssshhhh!!!!, um a little someone don’t know) to East Carolina University with my clear high heels (couldn’t tell me nothing) and partying. This post did make me laugh a little, I think I will call her. Have you spoken to one of your good girl/guy friend in awhile? Thank God I have other good friends in the city.

Did you know Mr. Stefon was a barber?

This one is for Patrice. Earlier in the week she commented on how cute Mr. Stefon was and all that good stuff. He does stuff and because of his cuteness, people always say, "give him another chance" well, here is the story I have been meaning to post about good ole Mr. Stefon. It's long but well worth it.

Imagine….

One of the hottest days of the summer. The weather man said it was going to be 97 or 98 and the humidity will make it feel more like 110 and its already 82 degrees at 7:00 in the morning.

Imagine….

You wake your child up for tennis camp (indoors/outdoors so he will not be in the sun) and say, “come on get ready” and you go take care of business, so you look, so fresh and so clean even though your hair is going to fall, but as Snoop says, "ya got ta do it." (I know that's right)

Imagine…..

You finish and you see your son MR. STEFON WITH A HOODIE ON and it is zipped ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.

WTF, no imagine, what the hell going on!!! It’s already hot in the damn house. Anger Mgmt of course is sitting ringside.

Me: Um, why do you have that hoodie on its going to be VERY hot today, take that off.
Mr. Stefon: I want to wear it.
Me: Why? It’s too hot.
Mr. Stefon: I want to wear it for fashion. (yes this is what he said, I wish I was making this up)
Me: (thinking maybe its cold in the building so, okay (sucker)) For fashion? (Anger Mgmt is laughing) Whatever, but your not walking down the street with me, with that damn hoodie on its already 82 degrees.
Me: Take the damn hoodie off.
Mr. Stefon: Okay (starts walking fast as shit)
Me: You need to brush your hair.
Mr. Stefon: (walking around)
Me: Did you brush your hair, come on let’s go!!
Mr. Stefon: I can’t find the brush.
Me: It’s right there, come here and let me brush it real fast so we can get out of here (his tennis camp cries if your not there at 8, start threatening to kick your kids out).

I start brushing Mr. Stefon hair and it normally lays down, but um, I just can’t get it to all move in the same direction.

Me: Um, what is wrong with your hair?
Mr. Stefon: Huh
Me: (BELLS ARE SOUNDING THE FUCK OFF). What do you mean huh?
Me: WAIT. What happened to your damn hair? Did you cut your hair?
Mr. S: No, some boy at school did.
Me: Oh hell no, see now I have to be late to work because I don’t have time for this.
Me: Why did he cut your hair?
Mr. S: Well we were playing and he just did it.
Me: Your trying to tell me that you LET someone cut your hair.
Me: (PISSED, mumbling all types of smack wait until I get there, all that).
Mr. S: Yeah, well we were playing and he did it.
Me: (Mother intuition rings again, something is not quite right.) Stefon, did you cut your hair?
Mr. S: Huh
Me: You heard me!!! Your father would have noticed your hair and so would I! I don’t remember you looking crazy yesterday.
Mr. S: (lower his head)
Me: DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!!! Don’t have me go up to your school ready to give some kid a beat down and you did this to your self!
Mr. S: Yes, I did it.
Me: WHY?????
Mr. S: looking at the damn floor.
Me: I know you heard me, why? You better answer or I will hurt you!!!
Mr. S: I WAS BORED!!
Me: (GTFO) You mean to tell me, you were so bored, you decided to cut your own hair.

HOLD UP PEOPLE, what really makes this bad. Mr. Stefon has a curfew, even in the summer time, during the school year, he has to be in bed by 8 (thank God), and the summer 10. He came to me and asked could he stay up and watch a show, I said sure you have been good and we have been leaving the house on time so fine. His father said please don’t let that boy stay up, you know he gets in to stuff. BUT , NAW I overrided dad and said, look he has been good, no crazy shit, so let him chill. Well folks THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED!!

Me: TAKE THAT DAMN HOODIE OFF!! You will go to school just like that. You will not get a hair cut. Your ass looks like you have ringworms!!! For the life of me, I don’t understand why you would do this!! You need to come up with something better than you were bored, I swear for God!
Mr. S: Well, you all have me surrounded with all those bad kids. (Yes, he said it)
Me: Excuse me? What bad kids?
Mr. S: The kids at the camp, they always do bad stuff (lie, they would kick them out)
Me: Um, I probably would believe you, if you cut your hair at camp with them, but no you did it at home, by yourself. They were no where around!! (full of it).

We did not get that boy hair cut for a long ass time (both his grandparents was pissed at us and some family members but who cares), he walked around looking like he had ringworms and his beautiful sister, Anger Mgmt gave him the lovely nickname of Patches O’hoolihan. Isn’t she lovely. I thought I would have to give her some oxygen she was laughing so hard. College boy, was really concerned with the boy mental status - mommy, why does he do stuff like that, that boy is scary.

Ya THINK!!

I know what you all will say, maybe he is doing it for attention and all of that. Well, yeah I would say the same except he gets ALL of the damn attention.

See ladies, I have plenty stories to tell.... like the time he climbed up the wall like Spi.der.man, or jumped off of a very high place when he was with his grandma and she was scared he died and didn’t know how to tell us (Anger mgmt tells this story laughing so hard she is crying). Oh wait , did I tell you he is not allowed to plug anything up because he electrocuted himself 2 times or maybe 3, I lost count.

And you know I got some pictures! I took them while we were walking to camp, he said, why are you taking them pictures......are you going to put them online......yes, sir. He is still my baby, and we can all laugh about it now, but then.....




By the way a tool of choice is a pair of KNITTING SCISSORS!! Ain't that some shit, the boy used my sharp ass knitting scissors.

Mr. Stefon and his letter to me

Mr. Stefon, Mr. Stefon. I do not know what to do with him. I love that boy dearly and he expresses his feelings like me (and my mother) through writing. Some times when I get on him he will write me a letter saying he is sorry and he loves me. WELL. Here is the new one.

Background: The kids have been in school for more than a month. He wears a uniform and he just cannot get it together. He will forget his belt, deodorant, brush his hair, something. So I snapped.

Me: (Standing at the bus stop) Why is your pants looking like that? Where is your belt?
Mr. Stefon: I don’t know
Me: Your punished for two days, no t.v., I am sick of talking to you about that. You have to do better.
Me: (Getting off the bus) I can see your drawers, you have on blue undies with black writing.
Mr. Stefon: mumbled something, I didn’t quite catch it.
Me: I’m serious, don’t let me find out you were watching t.v. while I was at school. I want your homework on the table so I can check it when I get in.
Mr. Stefon: I know (I hate when he says that), it will be on the table.
Me: Have a good day
Mr. Stefon: Rolled his little eyes and didn’t say nothing to his lovely momma.

So, I get home after taking my mid-term which I was studying until 2 in the damn morning – so, of course my mind was fried.

I grab a damn Corona (yes damn it! I earned it….I think) and head over to the table to look at his homework.

Well, I see this essay or something and I begin to read it and it was about not having T.V. privilege. I showed the husband and he said – Don’t fall for the banana in the tail pipe! Whatever!!!

Here is the letter with the title, No TV for 2 days!

I think I should have privilege to watch t.v. because I respect my elders at school for 4 hrs. I love school, as much as video games, comics, water, and fruit. For a couple of times I just want a privilege to do everything in my house. Most of the time barely not in trouble at home and on the bus. If I have no TV I’ll feel like I’m trapped or slaved. I know television is not good for my but at least a privilege.

Before, I dissect this letter, I will give Mr. Stefon some props for taking the initiative to write me a letter stating his feelings. Gotta love him.

First - the boy is in school for more than 4 hours, so what does he do the other 4hours, curse at them, not listen?
Second – he does not like school more than no damn video game and comics or water and fruit, if he said vegetables, than yeah.
Third – I did not know it was his house, his lease is almost up.
Fourth – Did he say barely not in trouble @ home???? I have a post I so need to write. I am pretty sure Anger Mgmt will not agree about the bus, she is always complaining about picking him up.
Fifth – Did he say slaved?
Sixth – My biggest problem………Did he mention the belt? What he will try and do in the future? Something for me to release him from punishment?

This is too funny, I will be holding on to this letter like the rest to show his bad ass kids, when he try and chastise them for the wrongs I KNOW their ass will be doing. Oh and by this letter, was his birthday list that amounts to $1,000 of dollars. Boy please.

This morning

Mr. Stefon: Did you look at my homework?
Me: Nope (he just want to know if I saw his letter)
Mr. Stefon: I thought you said you was going to look at my work.
Me: I was sweetie but mommy was tired, where is it?
MS: He give me the work and try to quickly pass me the letter.
Me: Is this your homework?
MS: No, just read it, I wrote it for you.
Me: I said, oh well I will read it later.

I know your saying, why you just ain’t tell that boy you read it. Well, I didn’t because that boy is spoiled!! I always sell wolf tickets (as my husband say) and tell them damn kids they will be on punishment and never follow through, well got dang it, he is serving his two days and I will respond to his letter. It is never a dull moment with that boy, I guess God saw fit to break up the boredom with the oldest two.

MAVERICK

If I hear that damn word one more 'gin. I will go CRAZY!!!!!! Yes, I am tired of Change as well - since John shaky ass has been saying it too, but that damn MAVERICK word is just messing with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UNCLE!!!

Life broke opened a can of major whip ass and my name is the first on the list.

What it do yarny folks? Man, oh man, I miss you gals (guys?). Here’s what your friendly neighborhood blogger been up to:

Stress – I actually been holding it at bay by exercising. Yes got damn it, you read that right. I started exercising in the middle of August BEFORE school started. I figured I would be stressed out and did not want the people around me to think I was a cold B-I-T-C-H, so I started Tae Bo (again, for the three millionth time) and I like the original VHS one better, and I use my DVD one for weights (2 lb weights are a killer). I am not going to lie, a sistah was in straight pain the first week, but now I look forward to it. Especially since, I get to drop kick professors, classmates, husbands and coworkers (of course while tae boing an imagination is a beautiful thing). I have lost something, but I do not know what (I do not get on a scale – too negative for me). However, I have been able to fit in jeans I have not worn in 5 years and some dress pants I bought 3 years ago and never wore.

School - started for everyone in the house. I am love/hating it because I do not like slow people. If you are medically diagnosed with a disease then fine. Nevertheless, I swear people just do not think and guess who is on their team. Yup that would be me. I am an excellent team player, however, I DESPISE being on a team. I have asked the Lord to work with me in this area, because I am slam calling these educated people stupid. DAYHUM. More on their stupidity later.

Oh and bragging about my professor not giving us any exams in my Labor Relations class went out the window. The department told him that he could not put a lot of pressure on folks. He had our papers valued at 50% of the grade; people failed his class before because they for whatever reason did not turn in a paper. UM, the Department needs to mind their own business!! These are grown ass folks in Grad school, they better man up and do their papers. So, he moved on and said it will be open book exam that we can take home. Sweet, I can study more in my other class. UM, wrong Urban. Why? This man came to us yesterday and said there will be no open book or take home because something happened. OMG, now I have to study very hard for his class, because I have been playing and giving all my attention to my other class (which I have a mid-term exam on Monday w/an ethical question). Killing me softly.

Knitting – I have my mojo, however, I just do not have time and it sucks monkey balls, because I really want to knit Ene so dang on bad. I hope that after studying this weekend I can pick it up next week. I will take a picture, I stopped on chart 3.

Family – So many bdays this month – Nephew – September 11^th, Mommy – September 19^th, Niece – September 24^th, Husband – September 28 (and I threw him a big ass party! DRAMA) – separate post. Nephew tomorrow, and many more this month. Were all good I guess, Mr. Stefon is not feeling me in school and he told me so AGAIN this morning. OH – we painted the house!!! Finally, well that is another post and me and my mommy is talking again, and she might get that #1 spot back, but um, she is on a 1 year probation with me right now! One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world is fleeing the state and moving to N.C. I do not know what I am going to do without her she has been in my life for 20 years, but she has to do what she has to do - another post.

Work – I have learned to re-like my job. How? Well, I am trying to act like its’ a new job. My coworkers are not bad people, hell it is only a couple of us. It has been working, until today. I broke one rule. Blogging. I have not posted because I am trying not to blog at work, but I missed you all so much. I have been following you and will get better and get on the computer at home.

PEACE!!!!

REDAMNDICULOUS - Fireplace continued

Mr. Conservative: (comes in the room smiling, boyfriend thinks the fireplace is fixed): Hey, what’s up? Did the Fireplace peeps come
Me: Nope.
Mr. C: WHAT? (picks up the phone)
Me: Before you call, let me tell you my convo I had earlier.
Mr. C: It’s 2, I thought you said they will be here by 1?
Me: Um, yeah and I thought you said they would be here at 9.

Mr. C calls the people and they said they are still sending someone and that the dispatcher spoke to your wife earlier and said someone was coming. (they are lucky I did not get on that damn phone).

At about 4:30 the guy shows up (ain’t that some shit).

Fireplace guy: How do you shut off the gas?

Mr. C & I look at each other with the WTF face.

FPG: Do you have the manual?

Mr. C is shaking his head and I am wondering if I should clear the house before we all get blown up. I go upstairs and get the manual because my beloved (men – yes I said it) could not find it. Took me all of 30 seconds.

FPG: Oh, okay. Thank you.

This guy does all this stuff and then realize. Guess what people? WE NEED A PIECE AND IT NEEDS TO BE ORDERED. WTF. Oh and it is not the original piece they were suppose to fix today, it is a different piece. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!!!

See I have a problem with this and I try to let my husband be in charge of some stuff, because hell, why should I do everything.

In April, we had the same company come out because the fireplace would not stay lit. Someone came out diagnosed the problem and we were like okay cool. We decided we would get it fixed later because summer was approaching.

Well, my husband scheduled the appt for yesterday and they sent someone over and now they are saying a different piece, and by the way, it now cost $165 - not free, or $119.

This shit right here burns me up. You do not show up when you are supposed to and the dispatcher is an asshole. The person you originally sent out to diagnose the problem, diagnosed it wrong and you want to hear the kicker of all this shit.

Fireplace guy: Hey, the company will ask me did I collect any money from you guys and I will tell them, no, this is a continuation of the last visit. No need to make the company rich right?

Mr. C: Um, okay.

Me & Mr. C when his ass left. Shit, he better tell the company that, because we was not paying them shit.

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR TO RE-DIAGNOSE OUR FUCKING FIREPLACE?

So, a piece will be ordered. Which piece? Who knows, when they come back (I will not be here), we may need another piece.

To be honest, the worker who came and the customer service rep were nice people it was just that damn dispatcher earlier and all was not lost.

My husband asked the guy did they have a plumbing section because we needed something done with our dishwasher, he said yeah we have that side, but show me what’s wrong I am a plumber. We showed him and he told us how to fix it. He said that would have cost us $300 +. He also told us, if we did not fix it before he comes back to fix the fireplace, he would fix the dishwasher too.

The fireplace guy

So, guess who decided to call me? The fire place company. Convo went like this -

Me: Hello
ASSWIPE: (All jovial) Hi Urban we are still TRYING to get someone to come out.
Me: What do you mean trying? Someone was scheduled @ 9.
AW: (Still smiling) Well, we are sending someone.
Me: At what time?
AW: (Still freaking smiling - can you tell I am getting heated) Well, soon maybe around 1
Me: Well, if it is going to be after 1 I need to know.
AW: Well, I always call before hand. I am trying to get them for free.

Commercial interruption: Per husband, I am suppose to pay $119 NOT something for free.

Me: What do you mean you are trying to get someone for free? I am paying for the service.
AW: WHAT ARE YOU GETTING DONE?
Me: Some piece or something is suppose to be replaced (remember the husband scheduled it).
AW:WOULDN'T IT MAKE SENSE THAT YOU HAVE THE PIECE FIRST, BEFORE WE COME OUT.

Me: (EYEROLL and trying to stay calm because the piece do not grow on trees - that is why we called they are suppose to bring the fucking piece). Sir, wouldn't it make sense that you all would have figured this shit out before you scheduled the appointment yesterday. I would think, that when my husband called and made the appointment you all discussed all this, BECAUSE HE WAS GIVEN A PRICE.

AW: (no longer freaking smiling) - let me pull the ticket and call you back.
Me: Yeah, you do that.

DAYHUM!!! We have used these people before with no problems. But, wtf, where is customer service hiding? I mean, dayhum, why me.

How come........

I took off today for some ME time and I now have duties. I chose the wrong day to be off. First off Mr. Stefon is home with me asking me a million questions. Why is he home you ask? HE is suppose to be sick and his father told him he could stay home. I told his father that his ass is not that sick that he needs to stay home. Mr. Conservative tried to tell me he had a fever - man whatever, the school has nurses. Secondly, if he is so sick how come he keep asking me questions? I thought he said his throat hurt.

I also have to listen out for the UPS guy because College Boy is having his books and some other stuff delivered.

Oh and my husband scheduled the fireplace guy. Ain't that some ish, he was off Tuesday and Wednesday. Anywho he was "suppose" to have been here since 9:00 and it is now 11:04. WTF.