Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mommy and Daddy sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G gross

Thanksgiving Day.

My mom came over to spend Turkey Day with us and we were all having a good time except her phone was ringing off the hook. Guess who was calling? Yes. You guessed it my father (vomit). Anger Mgmt asked her why was she laughing so loud and who was she talking too? Your grandfather.

Urban: How is grandma doing?
MaDukes: I don’t know I haven’t seen her yet.
Urban: Wait. Didn’t you call me last week with dad and you were there?
MaDukes: Well, I went over your father house to go up there but we never made it there.
Urban: Huh?
MaDukes: Yeah, then it got too late and then I was going to go again but we didn’t make it.
Urban: Lawd.
MaDukes: What?
Urban: Nothing

Anger Mgmt: Grandma, how many times have you been over granddad house because it sounds like a lot.
MaDukes: Burst out laughing.
Urban: I know AM, I just was letting her keep talking because she will tell you everything. Don’t show your hand. Go on mommy keep talking.

So, I hear my mother whispering on the phone and she is telling my father that she has all her clothes with her (she washed her clothes at my house) and she is laughing and she told him he didn’t have to fold her clothes and all this crap. EWE, EWE, Muthaflucking EWE.

My mothers’ hair was looking kinda crazy so I decided to wrapped and curled it for her and she looked cute. Why did I do that? Could not tell her nuthin!!

She was back on the phone with my father and all of a sudden she started talking about how she needed to go home and all this crap and I am like WHAT. You are suppose to stay the night. Mr. Conservative told her no way, but then gave in and told her he would take her over there. DISGUSTING!!

Urb why are you so angry. You said your mother has been looking for someone to fulfill the void your stepdad left and hey it’s your dad. Let me tell you what I told my mother before she left.

Mommy, why are you laughing like this is the best thing in the world. I understand you are grown and all but this man has not changed. You told me earlier that when he saw you he said he was not gonna let you go again (throw-up) and you laughed it off and he said he would kill you first. THEN after I did your hair, and Mr. Conservative said you looked nice he said why is he looking at you, tell him to keep his eyes on me. Now he knows Mr. Conservative and I do not think he is joking. You think because he is old he can not do anything. I do not like it at all he is still talking violent and you just laugh it up like it is the coolest thing.

She responded by telling me she can handle herself and that he is too old to do hurt any damn body and that she is trying to help him get his life together he asked her too.

WTF, can a sane person beat her over the head and tell her to get her damn ducks in a row, but I digress. I told her he has been doing just fine all these years.

Whatever, just nasty on so many levels.

3 comments:

Two Cables and a Frapp said...

Awwwwwww, your mom and dad have a big lust I mean crush on each other. It's kind of cute but I understand your concern.

del said...

I really hope they can be together without any foolishness. I understand why you're upset, though. Just pray.

Carmell said...

awww i think its kind of cute. but of course u know better than we... i understand ur concern but i also understand ur mama! damn them first loves! hey Urban!!!!