My holiday was excellent, we did not celebrate this year (for the second year). No tree, decorations, gifts.Nada!!!And, I got to admit it was really nice and less stressful. The only thing I missed was the decorations.I might incorporate that back into our lives, oh yeah and I cooked and baked of course. We will probably go shopping or something Saturday.
So, what did I do during this holiday?I knit of course. I am still knitting my daughter's sweater, I am finished with the back and am about to knit the arm sleeves, but this project is so monotonous, so what does a knitter do in this case - start a new project. My next knit project was to complete the Bandeau that I started for my daughter, Anger Management, but of course she saw me knitting it and said she changed her mind, she now wants the Ruffle scarf out of Scarf Style.It is going along quite well and I hope to upload a picture tonight or tomorrow. I am using the same yarn I was going to use to make the Bandeau, so I did not have to order any new yarn. Which is great because I am knitting from my stash until I get rid of some of my yarn before I buy anything new yarn (except for the scarf exchange).
Oh and I meant to tell you gals, I have FINALLY completed my essay and got my professor and friend (who happens to be a professor) to write references for me, so my application was sent in.Now, if my boss hurry up and put his in that would be great (I sent him a reminder before the break – but that means nothing). So, I should be starting grad school soon!!! Hopefully.
Also, I made some cute snack mixes for my coworkers this year and I think I did an excellent job.My kids loved the snack too. The only thing I would change about this project is the jar.The snack mix includes: Cranberries in Apple Juice, Sunflower Seeds (nuts), M&M’s, Raisins, Almonds, and Peanuts.
Sike!!! So, why did I say I am having twins? Because this bugaboo on the bus yesterday would not leave me alone.
Bugaboo: How are you doing? Me: Acting invisible - maybe if I stay really still, he will think I am not here - no haps. Bugaboo: Clears his voice loudly - I said how are you doing? Me: Scared of crazy people - Fine and keep knitting. Bugaboo: So, Can you make me a sweater? Me: You got to be outta your damn mind, but I don't say that - I say nothing. Bugaboo: Is that a wedding band on your finger? Me: Naw Sherlock - Yes - thank God, maybe he will stop talking to me. Bugaboo: So, I don't care, I still want a sweater. Me: Ugh, well, I don't think my husband would appreciate that, and I know my twins won't. Bugaboo: You have twins, you don't look like it. Me: Well, actually I have 6 kids. Bugaboo: Oh.........well we can work it out. Me: Urban, you fucking idiot, stop talking to these fools, so I made up more lies until he got his ass off the bus.
Signs
About a week ago I was on the bus going to work and as I was passing this construction site, I saw two dump trucks and one of the dump trucks had on the back of it: PIMPIN AIN'T EASY. Well, guess what I saw today? The same truck.
The picture is not that clear, but I tried to take a picture with my cell phone while on a moving bus:
Crazy People
Okay, so this isn't WMATA, but this has to do with people, who thinks people care what they really think.
I go to the bathroom yesterday and I see this sign that says:
Please wipe the counter off, don't leave water on it. We are not in Kindergarten.........
And then left the paper towels she used to clean the counter off ON the counter...um....two wrongs don't make a right - littering.
WTF. I understand where this person is coming from, because I hate bumping up to the counter while washing my hands and getting wet, but um....IT AIN'T THAT SERIOUS!!! She typed this shit, she must have been wearing cashmere or something.
I am tempted to go in the bathroom and write - who gives a fuck or something. But I am not.....or will I?
P.S. Sorry if you seen this updated 20,000 times, but something is going on with my font.
My family loves watching the history channel, my husband was watching a story on Dr. George Washington Carver and his discoveries that are used today and it was a awesome show. But what really got me was - HE WAS A KNITTER AND CROCHETER!!! He also did needlepoint and paint, but seeing him crochet was the best, he was so fast.
Anyway, it was so neat because this past week, I have been teaching Stefon how to knit and it was cool to see another man knit. I explained to him that the craft started with men and a lot of men do it (you know people think a certain way when a man knits - um, he plays for the other team is one). But so what, my baby is knitting like George Washington Carver!!!!!!
Here is a sample of his work in a museum and more about the man. If you google him and crocheting a lot of stuff come up.
Oh another interesting fact. Edison offered him a job making 6 figures a year and he turned it down to stay at Tuskegee. He was making 1500 per year at Tuskegee tell me THAT isn't commitment, I wish the kids/adults today knew something about that!! It is not always about the paycheck.
I will find that video of him crocheting!!
Also, check out Crimsonpurl, she has a story on Sojourner Truth!!! WOW!!
Stefon and Ms. Anger Management school has determine that we make too much money and that they will no longer receive free lunch and oh yeah, you don't qualify for reduced lunch either. People, I don't know what type of numbers they are looking at, but they really need to raise the household limits. Moving on.
So, what does a mother do in this situation? Go to one of my favorite stores Costco. I can spend hours in Costco. But, I went in got the snacks and all that - quick breakfast food too. Should be no problem right? WRONG!! After a month of doing this, I am thinking okay were straight. Here's a little conversation me and Mr. Stefon had on the way to his school.
Stefon: Mommy, you know you can eat breakfast at school - they said it's okay. Me: No, you can't. I have to pay for it. So, you need to get up early, stop lallygagging and eat. Who the hell is They? Stefon: No Ma, I'm for real, the people said everyone can eat for free. I'm telling you that's the truth. Me: Stefon, have you been eating breakfast at school? You bet not be because I will get a bill, why must you listen to other people? Who the hell is this other people? I bought you stuff to eat at home - get up and eat! If your hungry in the morning and were rushing and you don't eat, let me know and I will give you money. Sidebar: The school says they are not going to turn any children down, so they will let the kids eat and than bill the parents. I got a bill for $42 - this is why I went and bought the food. First, I don't see how you can bill me, when you are just telling me we are not approved. But, whatever. Stefon: No answer. Me: DON'T EAT UNLESS YOU BRING IT FROM HOME OR I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!!!
So, we get home - Hubby, looks through the mail and says, here is a letter from Stefon's school and of course he gives it to me like he can't read and write. I open the letter and what do YOU think was inside? Well, if you said Alex, I'll take a bill from Stefon's school for $92.00 you would be correct!!!
I hit the fucking roof. College Boy and Ms. Anger Management is dying laughing. College Boy asked a great question.
He said, Stefon, does that mean you have been eating 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches AND a big snack (he makes big ass sandwiches and more when he gets home, not chips and stuff or a apple)?
Of course he rolls his eyes. I had to go upstairs and relax before I straight choked him. My hubby bought up some medicine (Remy VSOP) to relax me. It worked and I haven't received a bill......yet.
You guys I just hung up on my mother. I am saying this not as a pat on a chest. I am saying this because I feel really bad. I damn near cursed her out and hung up. I really can't take it no more. I have to always be the strong one and today I can't. When I get home I am going to scream to let some of this energy out.
Under no circumstances should you disrepect your parents I truly believe that, but I couldn't take it any more. I am tired for real.
Pray for me.
I will explain why I did what I did in a future post, but right now, I have to call my mother and apologize because at the end of the day - she is my mother - no matter how fucked up things are.
Stefon as you know is the youngest of the family. My hubby would be pissed to know I used his real name, since I don't use mine or anyone else, but, um so what. I told you all his name before and I use to use From the Mouth of Babes, but so many people are using that now. So, my post for the 9 year old crazy person of the family is Mr. Stefon.
So, the men in the family - Dad, College boy and Stefon go to get their hair cut and they met up with their Granddad because he goes to the same barber as well. Me and my daughter Anger management (the name Stefon so lovingly gave her), was at home having some girl time which meant we were chilling, watching Snapped (the show). I hear the garage open and I hear college boy say, you need to go show Mommy your hair. I love to see them with a fresh haircut - my men are so cute - yes I am bias - sue me (sike, you would only get a buck o five).
Anyway, I am waiting and when he gets up the steps me and my daughter is looking at them like Oh No He Didn't!!! The boy has a Mohawk!!
Now, if college boy would have come in with the Mohawk, I would not be surprised at all - that is how he rolls, punk rock - no rap, let's just say I would understand. But Mr. Stefon - that would be a no. So, I look at College Boy and Hubby and say WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!! Mr. Conservative says, he said he wanted one, so I let him get one - you don't like it - HELL NO (I do now, it has grown on me). I said, when did we let his ass start telling us what he can and can't have. He said he didn't think it would be a big deal (funny, because he wouldn't let him get braids or cornrows). So, my baby has a mohawk and Ms. Anger Management has been calling him a Poor Puffy (PDiddy) - too funny!!
Can you see my baby eyelashes? Look how long they are, my daughter's lashes are the same way, people ask her if they are fake all the time. My lashes are long, but they definitely get it from their dad.
Me and Mr. Stefon made cookies - old fashion chocolate chip cookies and some with white & regular chocolate with walnuts. He thought I was a genius because I made them from scratch!!
Knitting:
I have been knitting a sweater for my daughter and it is very tedious, but I like it. Especially since I can sit in front of the t.v. and I have finally mastered knitting without looking, I have been scared to do this in the past. I have completed the left and right front and I am chucking along on the back - I hope to finish the back and start on the arm sleeves this week.
I love this stitch pattern, I think I want to make a scarf out of it - we will see.
It's a wrap!! I can't take it no more. I have to let you go. I would have told you privately, but since you put my business out in an earlier post, I am putting yours out there!
Look-a-here, Miss Thing, your ass is too big, and bulky and I am not feeling you right now. I know you don't understand because I completed you this weekend, danced and took compliments from my husband and kids. Blocked you, seamed you, put you on and than started the collar. Yes, you brought a smile to my face because I completed you (except for the collar), however, your just not my type. You are just too bulky, and big. I know I told you I would give you to Ma Dukes, but you saw her skinny ass, she lost weight, she is smaller than me (this should not be allowed AND she got a big kadonkadonk - WTF!). In other words your short!
So, I am going to take you apart and maybe make you into a lapghan or something. I do love your stitch pattern - the banana tree pattern is fierce (just not on me). But, I am trying to lose weight and your big ass adds 10 pounds on me. I should have knit you as a small and not a large, but I was a new knitter and I followed the damn directions - and forgot about the 8 inch ease. PEACE!!
REALITY
Okay back to reality. In all honesty I am glad I made Starsky, I experienced a lot of firsts. My first cable project, sweater, seaming (I seamed before, but not this much or a arm sleeve), pick up stitches for a collar, shaping. The whole nine. but, it was just too freaking big! I can do bulky as long as it is fitted bulky.
I should have ripped this sweater out a long time ago but I was in love with the banana stitch, it is so pretty. I loved the sweater until I started doing the arms and saw how big it was becoming, but I pressed on because i wanted to complete this project and I figured, maybe it won't be so big. I also kept going because I ran out of yarn and ordered yarn from three different Ravellers, so I figured I had no choice but to complete it, since I went through all the trouble. So, once I seamed everything and my husband said, wow that looks nice, I just knew I had to complete it - he finally gets why I do this thing called knitting!! So, I kept going and all I had to do was knit the collar, I picked up 285 stitches and knitted the third row and than realized something. My name is URBANKNITRIX and um, this is my MOTHERFLUCKING KNIT WORLD and I can do whatever the hell I want. Love the fam, but freakem this shit is coming DOWN!! My husband asked me yesterday after I had college boy take some pictures, why are you taking it apart it looks nice (he was either tired yesterday or wanted some - bless his little soul). I said, well, I don't like it and it will be a throw one day!!!
In the words of the Soup Nazi - NEXT!!!
In memory (proof) of Starsky - Here are pictures - while you look at the pictures make sure you have Boys II Men singing in the background - It's so hard to say goodbye............
P.S. Don't mind the greens on the wall - remember when Starsky ratted me out by talking about my green wall - well we still have not made a decision - it looks like 1 or 2 colors but it is actually about 6.
I so need to exercise, I have lost weight and I swear I put it all back on. Anywho, let's get it crackalacking on my Tday.
Can someone explain to me how I end up having 13 people over for dinner with a possible 16, an unwanted sleepover and an almost heist???
My fam (5), MIL and daughter (2), my mother (1), brother and fam (5), friend and kids (3) (they didn't show up thank the goodness). It was only suppose to be us and the mothers, but whatever. On Tuesday, my gf calls my celly and says, hey when am I getting an official invite - let's try never. Um, if you want to come cool, but there was not going to be an invite (maybe that is why she ended up NOT coming).
She starts with what should she bring (my husband said hot water or nothing), I told her drinks. She says, you sure you don't want me to cook - (in unison people - HELL TO THE NAW). Sidebar: One Turkey Day, we invited her over my uncles house and she made stuffing - have you guys ever seen separated stuffing - yeah, well. My uncle said - tell that big legged, red girl she can come over any time she wants, so I can stare at her, but she is not allowed to bring another dish and he is so right (about the cooking). Oh, and she can't take a hint - she kept calling me asking - what should she bring and then finally said remember that time.....talking about the stuffing (damn, yeah, we remember..that is why your ass is not cooking).
MIL decided on the way to my house, that she may not feel like driving home, so her and her daughter may spend a night!!!! Says, who? Did you ask? I swear she did this shit because my mother was staying. But hello people, my mother lives in Georgia - her ass lives in MD, not even 30 minutes away AND, her ass don't drink - so why can't she drive home. How bout she tried to change the music to gospel??? Ssssshhhhitttt!! Nothing against the Lord, but not while I am drinking Patron and playing Spades!!
My carpet didn't like their ass, come to find out my nephew was walking around undetected by me with his sippy cup and was spilling ORANGE juice on my white/beige carpet. If I would have caught his ass they would have gotten me for forced child labor!
The heist: So, my brother is married - HOWEVER, him and his wife haven't been together for the past 7 years and they are not divorced (don't ask, my brother is an idiot). He has a son with this new chicken head who is 15 months old and she has 2 kids from a previous relationship, a boy 9 and a girl 7.
So, college boy has the games in his room and he let the kids come in and play. Well, my mother comes to me and says I have to tell you something, but I will wait to later (why do that to people). Anyway, she tell me while she was smoking out back (smokefree house), she had to use the bathroom, she comes in and finds him stuffing something in his pocket. So, she said he looked guilty of something and asked him what was he doing and he pulls out a top. She said, so, if I go in your pocket I won't find anything. He then proceed to pull out a stack of Yu-GI-Oh cards (yes, my son has a rack of them - he goes to Uof MD to compete with them). He says, College Boy said he can have them. My mom says, well lets go see. Takes him in there and of course College Boy says, no I didn't and guess what grandma, that is not all of them. He then pulls out another stack. WTF!!!
My mother go and tell his mother and she says - are you sure, I don't see why he would do that since he have Pokemon cards at home - uh, HE HAD STACKS IN HIS POCKET, NOT ONE OR TWO. This is another case of my brother messing with a slightly retarded chic - I swear.
So what did College Boy say - see, this is why I don't want no one in my room. This is the second time I tried to be nice when we had company and what do i say - your right, you don't have to entertain any more. Remember Memorial Day - one of the babies spit Doritos on his wall (she was trying to help him decorate - he didn't find that funny).
All in all, I had a great time. It was nice to spend time with my brother and talk about growing up and missing my sister (not her, but my nieces and nephews) who didn't drive up. It was also nice to play cards, talk crap and get my drink on.
Seems like everyone had just as much fun, from what I read on some blogs.
Let me just start off by saying, I will not discuss the knit pattern traitor Starsky, because that is what she/it would want me to do.As my mom use to say – It ain’t happening captain!!
WMATA is back!!! WMATA (we call it metro) is the name of the bus/train system in D.C. and in this corner I will discuss my trials and tribulations while journeying on this contraption with my son the 9 year old (did you see that, he turned 9 two weeks ago).
I ask you – why do people discuss personal information on cell phone or with people loudly?I just do not get it.My husband or any body call me, I will answer and say is it important, I am on the bus, I will call you back.But some people, I just don’t get it.
Friday I dropped the little one off at school and get back on the bus to go to work.We make a stop and pick up three of the loudest broads.
Conversation went like this:
Loud Ass #1: So, where are you going to the metro? Loud Ass #2: Yeah, I am getting on the metro but I have to stop at the court building first – where you going, you want to go with me? Loud Ass #1: Naw, I have an appointment, why you going to the courts? Loud Ass #2:Girl, I am going down there to get my damn divorce.I am going in there fill out some papers and get rid of this tired ass nickel. Loud Ass #1: I hear you, its that simple huh? Loud Ass #2:Yessir!! All you have to do is get the papers, fill it out, have the postman send it out certified and pay your $80.00. I ain’t playing with his ass I should have been did this shit a long time ago. Loud Ass #1: Dang, I need to do mines too.I went to Virginia, they were trying to get me to pay $300 dollars, and I did not have it.
What the hell, why are you all loud talking about this on the bus and LOUD.Well, if your nickel is getting on your nerves and a divorce is what you seek - it is cheaper to obtain in DC than VA.
Next idiot in training:
Young girl is cursing on the bus (as usual – I swear the girls are worst then the boys) and said some girl tried to hit on her and she told her “honey I am all about the dick no twat.”She said this loud on the bus early in the freaking A.M. and was talking about her birth control pills.
Then she said her boyfriend got on her nerves, she is tired of his ass and told him fuck you (she said it like 4 times and her friend egged her on) and don’t call me no more.Then she said the boyfriend called her at 11:44 at night (no, I was not eaves dropping – she wanted everyone to hear) and talked to him until 12:30.The next morning, she got up tired (no shit Sherlock) and asked her mother if she could stay home from school and her mother said no.She said, but ma I’m tired and her mother said, so am I and I have to go to work, so you will go to school. Good advice, now if her mother would incorporate a little whip ass, her daughter wouldn’t be on the bus acting like Lil’ Kim or a menace to my ears.
Society is getting on my nerves with these kids – can you tell?
Just kidding. My mommy is closer to me ya'll!! She is with my brother in Virginia and will make her way up here with me and the kids. I have not seen my mommy in over a year and I can't wait.
I am dying laughing while I am writing this post, because I know next week I am going to seek prayer for wanting to throw her ass out.
Will someone please come and get this fake ass knitter!! This is Starsky, and I am sick and tired of Urban cheating on me.I mean, for real ya’ll, how long does it take to finish knitting a damn sweater.
Granted, I see her writing her essay for her Masters (but, I believe she has been doing this before me – hell she started me in September 2006).I also know she is working with her Homeowner Association, and trying to whip their ass into shape (she really should quit because these folks are ignorant and I can see her catching a case). Then homegirl has a nerve to try and pick a paint color – how many greens do one person need, you need to see her wall, I think it is about 5 or 100 shades of greens on the wall (who knew) and she did some crappy ass resume.
Oh and what really set this post off!!!This bitch right chere is a polygamist knitter – she really has a problem.This hoochie has a nerve to start knitting other shit, she thinks her ass is slick.I knew she was knitting Ene’s Scarf, I mean she was woman enough to apologized, remember her posts in the past. Humph, well, well, I caught the chica left-handed, knitting a sweater for her daughter – ain’t that a blimp.
Well, you know what, I can’t wait until her Mom’s get here tomorrow, I heard her talking to her BFF (more than one, I wonder if they know about that), telling them she may give me to her mother – THANK GOD, I don’t want to be with a bipolar knitter any ‘ole way.Look how she did her husband’s scarf and the last clapotis she knit – she did not like them in the beginning, it had to GROW on her, she said!!
Well, I hope the apple does fall far away from the tree, so her mom can take me to the ATL with her when she leaves (maybe I should tell her mom what I heard her say about HER – she don’t want to mess with me).
Please tell her to complete me, I mean damn, its’ been a year and the yarn she needed to complete me came over two weeks ago from Canada. Urban is always telling people, you can not pick your family members. Well guess what? Knitting patterns can’t pick their knitters either, how bout that!I probably should start a petition, she loves politics – maybe then her ass will pay attention to me. Hmph.
Uh, wait a minute… I think the heifer is coming and she can be mean, she might unravel me (I heard her slick ass say that before), so, um.I have to end here.
Okay people, you know it is that time of year again and someone sent this to me (twice), but I figured I would post it here anyway for those who have not seen it.
And so it goes.
10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE
1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won’t be able to eat anything.
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on the pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort them to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas.
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a hoot. The time limit for the prayer is one minute.
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy behind home next year!
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate using my good Tupperware knowing good and well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding.
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on you.
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your behind home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS ...YET! :-)
Let me tell you, this has made my day!!!! Especially, #1, 2, 6 and 8.
I did not make this someone else did so credit goes to - 1 email said Madea Thanksgiving rules and another had no name. So whoever you are good looking out.
Let me just tell you, I do not have time for any type of non sense, at all. I like living a drama free life, but every time I try to get out, one of them fools try to pull me back in!!
Gated community, some homes with garages and some without. There are limited parking within the gate, however, there is parking outside the gate.
My section within the gate have four homes beside each other. All of us have garages except one neighbor and there are 4 parking spaces. One parking space is designated to her since she does not have a garage or driveway and one the previous owner told me we own and another owner owns another.
When we first moved in the neighborhood people parked in the parking space, being the nice person that I am I wrote a note saying don't park here. They stopped, however, she now parks in front of the fire hydrant. This woman tries to be confrontational, so I have heard. I don't deal with her, but my neighbor beside me is always arguing with her because she parks in front if her driveway and than will tell her, "all you have to do is knock on the door." WTF.
Okay, so where am I going with this. Wednesday, Halloween, we pull into the gate and the whole section is full. Cars are everywhere and people are hanging outside. We never have this, I am HOT, HEATED, but I knew not to say anything yet.
Thursday, on our listserv, another neighbor in another section put out a email about parking in their section. So, I responded to her email with this:
(Our Section), it is a small parking lot, neighbors and their company park in front of the fire hydrant and anywhere else they like.
We have signs coming into the gate that talks about towing and I have yet to see someone towed.
This is ridiculous.
(I Signed it with my government name and my street address)
So after this email, one of the police officers who live there sent a email saying that he will contact me later on steps I can follow. I don't think she liked that because this is what she sent:
WHEN I HAVE VISITOR'S OVER THEY EITHER PARK IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, NEXT TO THE CURB, OR IN THE AVAILABLE PARKING SPACE. WHEN THE AVAILABLE PARKING SPACE IS BEING USED, THAT IS WHEN THEY PARK IN FRONT OF THE FIRE HYDRANT. TWICE, A THREATENING NOTE WAS PLACED ON A VISITOR'S CAR THAT WAS PARKED IN THE AVAILABLE SPACE, IN THE NOTE IT STATED THAT THE SPACE WAS A PRIVATE PARKING SPACE. There are NO PRIVATE PARKING SPACES in (our section)PERIOD.The only private parking space is the one that have the house number in it, which belongs to me.
In order to get this straightened out once and for all, we need to have a meeting with (President), so he can give us the rules/laws on the parking for (our section).
Can you feel the anger!! This shit is too fucking funny. She is so angry, screaming, the boldness of it all, and than the color red too. Whew wee, could it be because you maybe guilty of something.
So, let's dissect her email for a second, before we move on.
1. Is the curb a parking space.....uh no. we have lines drawn for parking spaces and it is not by her house.
2. She states that if the parking space is filled, that she parks in front of the fire hydrant - is that NOT what I said. It's illegal.
3. When we bought this house, the old owner told us we owned that parking space. When someone parked in it before, the neighbor that is right beside us said, man they are trying you, that is your space. Let me just tell you gals, no one parks in that space, not even her, unless she feels froggy, but majority of the time she does not, remember she parks in front of the fire hydrant. If she believed that was not our space, she should have said so, or approach me about. She never has, we could have handled it then. As far as threatening letters, not true, it was a promise. I clearly stated this is a private parking space, if you continue to park here I will have your car towed.
Now people, if Urban is wrong, I am woman enough to say - Hey, I thought that was my space, that is what the owner told us. It's no biggy, we have a freaking garage. However, you still can't make parking spaces in front of the curb and in front of the fire hydrant - oh and her parking space, the one that is hers have a car in it that doesn't work!!!
So, instead of responding right away and after I deleted my email three times. I responded with this:
(Parking section name) have 4 parking spaces, they are outlined by the white lines. If a car is parked outside of that white line than it is not in a parking space. Cars are parked in front of the fire hydrant, it has been done on numerous occasions. There is no need to scream, we can converse like adults. I will send an email to you and (HOA president) and we can ask for a meeting for the neighbors at (Our section).
And than I sent this:
Good morning (HOAPrez and cc'ed her on it),
Can you meet with the homeowners in references to the rules and regulations of parking in the section of (ours).
Thank you,
The only changes to these emails is to the names and sections, I don't need Jason or Michael Myers coming to the crib.
So, I called Mr. Urban and told him what happened and to go and take pics of her in front of the fire hydrant (and she was) oh, and someone was parked in front of our driveway (from her house), he took a picture of that and told them to move (they did). See, hubby was home during the day and they weren't expecting it.
Where do we stand: no where, I think this lady is use to bulling people and she didn't expect me to respond to her crazy ass. She has yet to respond to either of my emails. Believe me people, I am not confrontational, don't look it either. However, I do believe in communicating and not being punked.
This morning - 2 cars parked in front of the curb and fire hydrant.
DRAMA
My aunt use to shake my brother when he was bad and say "I rebuke you satan." (see why I feel the way I fell about org religion)!! I think I might call her and ask her to come shake someone.
1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog 2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself 3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
I am a lefty that uses my right hand for everything (no cop out fuggly scissors for me).
I think someone is spying on me when I go to public bathrooms.Therefore, I make faces and wave at the vents just in case cameras are there and I want them to know I am aware.
I read the Washington Post everyday.If someone reads it before I touch it, I cannot read it.I HAVE to read it first, unfold it, and touch it.I do not want an ugly, creaseless paper, all wrinkled up.Once at my old job, one of my coworkers asked to read my paper, just the sports section real quick.This guy Olu, said shit, Urban is not gonna let you read her paper until she touches every section, unfold it and then she will give it to you.He ain’t never lied.
My mom is my bestest (I know it is not a word, remember when people use to say that) friend in the whole world (she is about to lose that status if she keeps acting up – she will be here in two weeks, cannot wait).Anyway, I am happy that she disciplined me.She has made me into the Woman, wife, mother, friend, crazy person I am today and I still call her mommy.
I do not believe in marriage.Funny, I should say that since I am married.Well, just remember, me and Mr. Urban has been together for almost 16 years, but we have only been married since March (got married because of the govment, I have property now).Two weeks after meeting him, he told me I was going to be his wife and have his babies, and I thought this fool was crazy.Especially since, he was not my type.I figured we could be friends, but no haps on the relationship aspect.Well, well!!I do not believe you have to be married to have a great relationship or being married JUST, for the kids….um how many kids are screwed up behind this one.I am not saying go out and get married or do not get married – do you, I did me.I can honestly say we are in LOVE, actually probably more today than 16 years ago, I was a baby, what did I know about that word. Let me just tell ya, my baby still says I am sexy (just told me this weekend), he calls me everyday at work and text me, and we are still knocking boots on a regular and enjoying each other company and that is not just blog talk. (Although, I still am holding on, I still have not changed my last name yet officially and he is pissed, but hey).
I believe in God, but I do not believe in organized religion and I do not attend church any more.Today’s church is not what it use to be.I was the 5 day church girl, in the church choir (can’t sing a lick), vacation bible school, banquets, all that!Do you all remember the Spring Concerts with the ugly dresses, your Aunt, or Granny made (can you say set up or HAM)?So, why am I, so turned off, you ask? I got tired of the fakery.I have so many reverends in my family that you would think that could not be possible.People claiming they are Christians, or acting holier than thou who are really snakes in the grass and use Christianity to get what they want or promote businesses, or their behavior (you all do remember slavery).I have a very low tolerance for this, hell our President was re-elected because of religion. My sister is the worst case, she has to tell me every second that she is saved and I am like um, you don’t have to tell me your saved, your action will tell me (TRUST, her actions says loud and clear that she is NOT, but who am I to judge.).Of course, it pisses her off, which means, I succeeded. (Cript walking)
Okay, last, quick, weird, random fact.I use to make mashed potato or spaghetti sandwiches.Do not know why, I just did, I guess I figured since it is on the plate, and they will end up in the same place.Why not just eat it together instead of separate (even though Ma Dukes had a No Sandwich Making Rule at the table - Meany).I also, still eat bologna sandwiches with plain potato chips on it – THE BEST!!!
This was fun and let me see, whom I would like to learn more about.I tag these seven Knitrix:
Since I served up that long angry post yesterday, I figured I'd keep it light for the weekend. So, I have a couple questions for ya???
1. Why do men over the age of 5, well 40 still get their hair braided? Especially when they are rocking the moon in the middle? or a snatch back? (I swear for goodness, I have seen both version and they THOUGHT they looked good)
2. Why do some women get weaves without a perm? The hair is suppose to look blended in like it is yours, right? Right? Or it is suppose to look nappy, like taco meat in the front, and silky smooth all over? I'm just asking.
3. Why do women still put their hair in two ponytails? I mean grown ass women with a part down the middle, hair dangling? Um 40 and over? (saw this on the bus today and she looked every bit of 55)
4. Why do women try to put their hair in a ponytail and they don't have any hair to really get in there?? They use all types of grease and all that and at the end a little tiny piece may have made it through? A wishtail!!!
5. Why are crackheads always dancing or moving? Do you remember Gator? He was a dancing fool or what about Halle Berry (she plays the hell out of a crackhead - remember her as Gator's gf and in Saving Issiah). Do they hear special music? WTF!
6. Ms. Jay Alexander? Why? Why is Miss Jay allowed in the fashion industry? Okay, so he can teach models how to walk? But what about styling? I hear him cut people up on the red carpet and I am like WHAT??? Have you looked in the mirror - come on stop playing!!! Again, please explain I'm perplexed to say the least. Oh and why you are at it explain Wendy Williams too!! HAM!!
I hope everyone have a wonderful weekend after they help me out with these questions????
What will this post be about? You guessed it - a crazy ass parent being run over by their child/children. I don't know where to begin because she is really a good friend of mine and a nice person, but she don't read my blog, soooooo..... that means I can put her ish on blast.
So, she calls me this morning and is damn near in tears? She says I just don't know what to do anymore. What happened? The boys were fighting in the car while I was driving and I had to pull over and put the oldest out the damn car. What?
The youngest (16) asked the oldest for his keys 3 times nicely. The oldest (17) didn't respond. Finally, the youngest said give me my fucking keys and he turned and said no bitch, don't you see I am eating. He than says you are going to give me my fucking keys and he says, here take your fucking keys and threw them. The youngest threw his backpack at him and it was on. So the youngest ends up with a bloody nose and she kicked the oldest out the car. They must have been up the street from the house because she dropped the youngest at school. And then went back home to check on the oldest because he didn't have keys to get in the house. SHE FELT GUILTY BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING AND HE SHOULDN'T STAY OUTSIDE (shouldn't he be going to school too).
I asked her, was she drinking this morning? She said, what? I said continue the story. So, she get home he is not outside BUT inside the house. She asked him how did he get in? He said the window was opened. She said the window was opened - he said, that's what i said (ya'll how come he can still talk, he would have been missing teeth with all the cussing, right 'chere he would of caught some blows to the chin and that would be the least of it).
I said, he said what!!! I said, I hoped you fucked him up, she said I just told him don't touch the car and he said well how am I going to get to work. I said did you specifically tell him that he can NOT drive and HE will not be driving under any circumstances she says - he knows. (I told her not to let him get his learners/license/car)
I said dear heart he doesn't know, didn't you tell him not to get a tattoo and both of their asses got one, saying they thought you were okay with it!!!!!!!! Yes, you read it. Let me give you the low down on that one. So, in the summer she said how the oldest wanted a tattoo and that she told him that she was not signing a consent form (she & I thought if you were under 18 you needed a consent form). His dad said he thought it was okay (he is not in the house and he also thinks it is okay to smoke weed as long as it is in a group - tell you that one another time). Well they go and get tattoos at the time 15 and 16 and she is livid, but they were like. We told you we were going to do it and you said whatever, so we got it. I said, well did you tell them that, did they tell you. She said, yeah, because I thought they couldn't get it - uuuuuggggghhhhh!!!
Okay, so after that incident the oldest was allowed to get his license and she bought him a car. I just don't get it!!! He has serious problems!!! But when he is around me, my husband other people he can be the sweetest child.
Solution: What difference do it makes if you are not going to put your foot down (or up his ass)!!! I would have caved his damn chest in. How dare you use such language around me, I am 33 yrs old, and I have never, EVA used language like that around my mother. She would give me the back hand and you know the older generation know how to work that back hand like a weapon, won't even see it coming. She is talking about putting him out, but when he go over his dad's house she goes back and forth picking him up and allowing them to do whatever. Besides the fighting, I can't get over the blatant disrespect in front of me and guess what??? She never bought up the language, I HAD TOO!!! WTF!?!?!
So, the question is what would you do? We already KNOW what Jesus is going to do!!!!
Oh and for now on I will be comment jacking Patrice style. So if you want a response you will be able to check back, I tried replying to emails, but some are blocked.
How was the weekend you ask? (it's now the middle of the week - no one is asking anymore)
Well it was okay. It started out with me and husband trying to get the Worst Parents of the Year Award. Before we left to go out we were trying to determine what to give the kids to eat. I thought we were going to go to Costco and shop and get a pizza (their pizza is delicious). But the hubby was like no, we can give them some Oodles and Noodles, I said that is messed up!! How are we going to go out and give them some noodles, oh wait, hell they can make sandwiches. And we bounced!!
So, we love this Mexican resteraunt but we didn't feel like going all the way out there so we decided to go to this Bison place Ted's Montana Grill. The place was really nice, atmosphere was gorgeous for a chain. What did we order - I had the bowl of New England Clam Chowder and Crab cakes, asparagus and a avocado relish. He had the Chili and Prime Rib. Now remember we went there for the Bison (or at least he did). And they had CUCUMBER salad instead of the free bread that most places shove down your throat.
Well people I am a very picky person and ask me if I liked the place. Okay, well thanks for asking. I give this place an A for atmosphere and a Nope for the salty ass food. I will give it one more try - Only because I should have known better - you don't go to a bison resteraunt ordering seafood, I should have order what they specialize in. What I did enjoy besides the atmosphere - the margarita on the rocks with Patron.
Oh an Maryland is the land of the crab cakes - why was Cumin in mine (wtf), at least that is what it taste like. It was not good, the aparagus was so delicious, and I LOVE avocados so the relish was good. Cumin crab crakes and rubbery clams was not a good look. Husband loved all his food.
We leave the place and "try" to go to the movies to see Tyler's new movie and we think we should be okay because we are in VA and it's not the opening weekend. The tickets are $20.00 and we are full and figure we will top it off with ColdStone after. WELL, well, let me tell you. We get in and sit down and people are acting up. Someone thinks they're a comedian and their old ass is not funny and then this old lady comes in and start yelling CURTIS, CURTIS where are you, STAND UP, I CAN'T SEE YOU. We look at each other and are like are they serious!!! Still, we don't want to leave, but a baby is starting to cry and Ma and em are ignoring the chile. I looked at him he looked at me and was like let's bounce!!! Stand in the guest line and get our damn tickets.
Because it was early we were able to stop on the way more at Burger King to get the BeyBey kids some food. Karma is a motherflucker (or three kids that didn't go out to eat with us).
Saturday - me and husband hung out - got our shop on (but this is normal, so it doesn't count as a date)
Sunday - I went to the Redskins Game. Hail to the Redskins!!
I was shopping with the husband and she called and was like - let's go look at some Men's ass and I said okay, I am down. For free - why not!! And my MIL lives right by the stadium, so we parked at her house and walked right in.
This should have been posted already but I was waiting to get the pictures off of my phone, however Karma is still playing tricks on me - having issues with tmobile - so maybe later.
My day is getting better!!! Hubby just called and said, I want to take you out tonight - just you not the kids (until the past year we use to do it this a lot). Than he is going to hit me with - but, I know you want to take the kids.
SSSSSHHHIIITTTT - them leeches can stay right at home!!! College boy is 18 and the other two is 13 and 8. I will cook something for them or buy something on the way home (so they don't burn down the dang house) and leave them with plenty of junk food and cable (parental block). There should be no fights because they have there own rooms (is this a prayer - I made myself laugh writing that one). Note to self turn my cell phone off!! That way they will have to call their father and TRUST they will not be calling him. They know off the top his answer is Hell NO. Me - I cave in because I just want you to be quiet and half the time I am ignoring you (glad no one has bought a rifle or drugs).
My day has been really crazy this morning and I don't have time to discuss all that. So, to make my self laugh or to feel better I am going to tell you about this lady on the bus and two on the train.
Train first: Can someone tell me the definition of screetand scremf?
I am on the train this morning and this LOUD ass woman, was telling all her business talking about her baby daddy. Nothing wrong with that, we (passengers) just feel like it's early in the damn morning can you keep your conversation on the low and between you and your intended target (but she was proud ya'll and didn't see anything wrong with it). Anyway, back to the schedule story. So, she said yeah gurl, I was running for the bus and asked the Lawd to give me scremf I picked the baby up and ran down the screet. Her friend said screet? You mean street. Gurl you know what I am saying screet/street whateva. I am slumped in my seat, like damn - correct strength!!!
Bus next: Can someone please tell me who in the Sams Hell is Bamarama? Okay, after I got off the train I got on the bus. And another LOUD lady, she is known to be loud, I swear she is deaf and don't know when someone is ignoring her ass. She said hi 10 times to this lady before the lady spoke (like DAMN, Hi Bitch, we ain't friends). I was about to say DAMN, will you please answer her loud ass, I know you hear her, because I hear her her ass all the way back here!!! I ring the bell for my stop and am about to get off when I heard the funniest got damn thing. Loud ass said, are you going to the thing today - the program, the ignoring lady said what thing, Loud ass said - get this people, hold on to your mutherflucking chairs. The ceremony today with President Bush and Bamarama.
Who in the Sams Hell is Bamarama - do she mean Obama!!! I am so happy I was getting off, I almost fell - seriously it took all my scremf and if she wanted to beat the hell out of beat she sure cudda. The bus driver was laughing so hard and looking at me and Loud ass was CLUELESS.
Thank God because she looked like she would shank a sistah and I would NOT have been able to make it down the screet.
I might have to create a WAMA (bus/metro) corner - I have so many stories! Like the time when.......
Switch summer clothes out of EVERYONES closet to fall/winter clothes and put unwanted/donated clothes in the closets on the 1st floor. So, I got my exercise running/walking to the first floor ALL the way up to the 3rd floor.
Me and the hubby went to Home Depot and took a tiling class. I had to tell Mr. Cool to stop jumping in front of the ladies and let them do it too. Every time Mr. Home Depot said who wants to try, I swear he look like he was going to take one of the ladies out - elbow to the tatas or something. I asked him about it later and he said, well no one act like they wanted to do it or get dirty (I believe he was referring to me, when we left the house he said, why do you have on those pants and are you wearing heels - YUP). The class was really good and we learned a lot - so foyer, kitchen & bathrooms here we come!!! We also picked another paint color - we will see.
Sunday, we watched football and hubby cooked a potroast - it was his first and it was pretty good. I don't know if i am saying that because I didn't have to cook or what.
I also started on my resume AGAIN!!! People redoing/adding to your resume is hard work. Ugh, well wish me luck I am still working on it.
Knit news: I have decided that I will work on Starsky on the bus to/fro work. I am finished one sleeve and am making progress on the second. I don't believe I will be wearing this sweater, I believe I will be gifting this to my mother (who will be here in Nov- yeah!) or a girlfriend. Ene is starting to look lovely, I started her over because I thought I made a mistake, well I am now on row 9 and love the way she looks on the Knitpick Options. I will try and take a picture but you know she won't look pretty since the lace will look all squished up.
AL GORE FOR PRESIDENT!!!! So.....what did you do??
Coach coupon/Husband scarf, I won't bore you too much It's Fridddddaaaayyyy!!!
A little background, remember the Coach coupon - well here is the bag. I love this bag. I love it because it is big and I think classy - you can dress it up or down. The inside of the bag have all the C's and I think that is a cute touch and sterling feet (I forgot to take pics and the buckle is cute too). Okay, enough bag love, but she is the reason I got the coupon and traded the coupon to get the NoroKureyon.
Fuggly pictures - as you can see I only have brownies left after buying the bag.
Here is the scarf. Remember how I said I could not STAND how rough it was, well after handling it for awhile and after washing the scarf it soften up.
And here I am trying to style in my downstairs bathroom (my daughter walked by rolling her eyes - she told me I was pressed - I should have said do you remember our contract, and popped her, but than that would be abuse - DAMN!!)
Husband Never Ending Scarf - 4 balls of NoroKureyon #164 , needle 4.5
So, I cast on 96 stitches, slipped the first stitch of every row and knit this baby up EVERY row so it was boring, but easy as hell and the Noro did the work with the colors. The slipped stitch gave it a nice finished touched
I had to stretch it out to get to 9 inches wide and 52 inches long. I wish I had another ball but hey, I got it for free. Results - the husband loved it, I was worried about the colors and he loves it - now my daughter wants one.
So, as you know, I have to give some shout outs: I want to thank my mama and 'em. Placenta and the twins and AntMan. Hey, I knits a pretty damn good scarf for FREE!!! Priceless.
First of all, not much knit news, so you might want to read this paragraph and than keep it moving if you just came for the knitting (can't be possible, I am slow as heck - still love ya, please stay). I am still working on the husband never ending scarf, hopefully I will finish today.
Real news - contracts. This weekend the MIL came over for her son bday (he is so spoiled). Anyway, she asked us how was our daughter doing mouth wise since she is a teenager - you know how teenagers can be. We said, she is doing fine, we don't have problems like that. Don't get me wrong, she is your semi-typical teenager, but she knows her parents are not having it. We just aren't I believe in discipline - PERIOD.
Anyway, so MIL said, that is good, I figured, but I was wondering if you had a contract. We were like a what? a contract (we said it at the same time)? She said, yeah a contract, I said I have never heard of a contract, what the heck is it. She said, well you know Brandy (his 1st cousin, actually the chic who hooked us up 15 and counting years ago.. anyway, let's keep it moving.. dang, I say that too much), is having a problem with Brittany (same age as my daughter). She said Brit's mouth is off the hook (um, saw this coming that is why I make excuses so she can't come over my house - no dear heart, I will be slitting my wrists this weekend, or playing with traffic, hit me up next weekend).
So, a contract was made between this child and her parents. I said please tell me what's in the contract? Is the child giving permission to get flucked up if they sass me? And I don't have to feed them? If the police is called, what will they say - oh, you signed the contract little girl your mom can whip your ass? Someone please tell these folks that a contract with a minor is not legally binding!!! When did we start making contracts with our kids?
THIS IS SOME BULLSHIGGITY!!!
I told his mother that we already have a contract with our kids. We work our ass off everyday so that they can eat, have a roof over their heads and some other good stuff. Their part of the contract states that they will be well behaved in and out of our presence, clean up and go to college. Now, if they get out of pocket and act up, we will handle our business, does not mean a spanking, not that I am against them, but my kids really don't act up that badly to receive them (but that little one, I'm just saying, I can see him trying us and messing up the damn program - I will do a post on him alone).
However, if my kids believe that they cant handle our rules and I did hit one of them upside the head (not abuse) and they decide to call the POPO, it is on like butter POPpopcorn, I will give them a reason to really dial them digits and they got to go. I do too much for you to be calling someone on me. I can't tell you how many parents I know use the POPO as a excuse for not disciplining their kids - you can't spank these kids now a days, they will call the police on you. WHATEVER, damn do something. I know parents who are getting cussed out by their kids and some more - again another post.
Little story before I go.
The last asswhipping I received (I wasn't a bad kid - just sneaky as my mother always said and, if you told me I was going to get a spanking I damn near had a heart attack), I really got a good one, a double one. Here's why.
After getting my asswhiped, I went in my room and took out one of the childabuse brochures and put it on the bed beside me (just so happen we had a thing at school about it, you should know by now that I am a smartass, just a tad and a little sarcastic). Well, my mother had to walk past my room to get to the bathroom. She walked back to her room and low and behold, Ma Dukes came in their and wore my ass out again and told me - NOW YOU GOT SOMETHING TO CALL THEM FOR!!!
A sistah ain't pick up that phone and that is why I am hear today to tell this story. Again, I am not advocating spanking, or abusing your kids. I'm just saying Man the FLUCK up and handle your business with these bad ass kids and discipline them.
Phew, I know I said that was it - but heres the kicker, about two months ago this child was on the phone with this boy at 1 in the morning and her mom was like - she said they were studying?????? AND her mother is always talking about everybody hates her because she has everything - And you wonder why you and her father are makin bogus ass contracts.
Contract much??? So, have you made your contract with your kids?
How I missed you!!!! Let me tell you it has been a crazy month!! This is NOT the first time I tried to post. I don't know what's going on with my laptop, but it won't let me post to my blog at work or at home!!! At first, I thought my boss was trying to set a sistah up, until I tried at home and could not get on. I still can't get on with the laptop, so I am on the home dinosaur (you know I am lazy).
Anyway, so I have a lot to tell you, but I am going to keep it to a minimum today (we will see). So, let's keep it moving.
Coach Okay, so when I went to Myrtle Beach in July I bought a Coach for me and my daughter (a starter - nothing big, really, however, I did get a talk'in to from the dh), I meant to show you the bag (cousin to Precious) but as you know I am lazy (not proud of it, but it is, what it is).
Coach is about that dollar and know how to make a girl feel special. I get to work and I have a message that they are having a preferred customer sale (which normally don't happen) AND I had a coupon waiting for me at the house (DEVIL - I rebuke you). Of course my mouth is watering, because I need a wallet (than I have to remember the money mantra from one of my fav financial guru's - sister's say it with me if it is not on your ass it is not a asset), or a scarf, um they got some nice flats right now and with a 25% coupon the price was looking right (Lawd, fo Jesus)
Okay, let's get this story moving, I go on Ravelry to get my stalker on and I see this post asking to trade Coach coupon for Yarn. Bam, a trade is born. She got the coupon (and a cute bag) and I got 4 skeins of NoroKureyon for my husband scarf. I gotta tell you though, I was kind of blown by the scratchy ass yarn, very pretty, but it will need to soak. I am almost finish and hopefully will have something to share (um, if I feel like sitting at the dinosaur). I should of went for the STR or IRO, but the yarn was kinda girly, BUT NO, I tried to be all wifey and stuff.
So, I am damn near finished knitting his scarf - his birthday was Friday, but don't fret or feel sorry for him - he got something, much, MUCH better - ya feel me!!
I will write about the weekend tomorrow and hopefully get back on track - 2 post in September...hum who do she think SHE is....um....procrastiknitrix.
I have to say in my defense though, I have been keeping up with everyone else and posting. See ya on your blog PPPPPEEEEEAAAAACCCCCEEEE
