And so it goes.... A turkey, an almost heist and fun times

Happy belated Turkey Day!!!

I so need to exercise, I have lost weight and I swear I put it all back on. Anywho, let's get it crackalacking on my Tday.

Can someone explain to me how I end up having 13 people over for dinner with a possible 16, an unwanted sleepover and an almost heist???

My fam (5), MIL and daughter (2), my mother (1), brother and fam (5), friend and kids (3) (they didn't show up thank the goodness). It was only suppose to be us and the mothers, but whatever. On Tuesday, my gf calls my celly and says, hey when am I getting an official invite - let's try never. Um, if you want to come cool, but there was not going to be an invite (maybe that is why she ended up NOT coming).

She starts with what should she bring (my husband said hot water or nothing), I told her drinks. She says, you sure you don't want me to cook - (in unison people - HELL TO THE NAW). Sidebar: One Turkey Day, we invited her over my uncles house and she made stuffing - have you guys ever seen separated stuffing - yeah, well. My uncle said - tell that big legged, red girl she can come over any time she wants, so I can stare at her, but she is not allowed to bring another dish and he is so right (about the cooking). Oh, and she can't take a hint - she kept calling me asking - what should she bring and then finally said remember that time.....talking about the stuffing (damn, yeah, we remember..that is why your ass is not cooking).

MIL decided on the way to my house, that she may not feel like driving home, so her and her daughter may spend a night!!!! Says, who? Did you ask? I swear she did this shit because my mother was staying. But hello people, my mother lives in Georgia - her ass lives in MD, not even 30 minutes away AND, her ass don't drink - so why can't she drive home. How bout she tried to change the music to gospel??? Ssssshhhhitttt!! Nothing against the Lord, but not while I am drinking Patron and playing Spades!!

My carpet didn't like their ass, come to find out my nephew was walking around undetected by me with his sippy cup and was spilling ORANGE juice on my white/beige carpet. If I would have caught his ass they would have gotten me for forced child labor!

The heist:
So, my brother is married - HOWEVER, him and his wife haven't been together for the past 7 years and they are not divorced (don't ask, my brother is an idiot). He has a son with this new chicken head who is 15 months old and she has 2 kids from a previous relationship, a boy 9 and a girl 7.

So, college boy has the games in his room and he let the kids come in and play. Well, my mother comes to me and says I have to tell you something, but I will wait to later (why do that to people). Anyway, she tell me while she was smoking out back (smokefree house), she had to use the bathroom, she comes in and finds him stuffing something in his pocket. So, she said he looked guilty of something and asked him what was he doing and he pulls out a top. She said, so, if I go in your pocket I won't find anything. He then proceed to pull out a stack of Yu-GI-Oh cards (yes, my son has a rack of them - he goes to Uof MD to compete with them). He says, College Boy said he can have them. My mom says, well lets go see. Takes him in there and of course College Boy says, no I didn't and guess what grandma, that is not all of them. He then pulls out another stack. WTF!!!

My mother go and tell his mother and she says - are you sure, I don't see why he would do that since he have Pokemon cards at home - uh, HE HAD STACKS IN HIS POCKET, NOT ONE OR TWO. This is another case of my brother messing with a slightly retarded chic - I swear.

So what did College Boy say - see, this is why I don't want no one in my room. This is the second time I tried to be nice when we had company and what do i say - your right, you don't have to entertain any more. Remember Memorial Day - one of the babies spit Doritos on his wall (she was trying to help him decorate - he didn't find that funny).

All in all, I had a great time. It was nice to spend time with my brother and talk about growing up and missing my sister (not her, but my nieces and nephews) who didn't drive up. It was also nice to play cards, talk crap and get my drink on.

Seems like everyone had just as much fun, from what I read on some blogs.