Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Years

Hey ya'll! Have a happy and safe new years eve!!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mommy and Daddy sitting in the tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G gross

Thanksgiving Day.

My mom came over to spend Turkey Day with us and we were all having a good time except her phone was ringing off the hook. Guess who was calling? Yes. You guessed it my father (vomit). Anger Mgmt asked her why was she laughing so loud and who was she talking too? Your grandfather.

Urban: How is grandma doing?
MaDukes: I don’t know I haven’t seen her yet.
Urban: Wait. Didn’t you call me last week with dad and you were there?
MaDukes: Well, I went over your father house to go up there but we never made it there.
Urban: Huh?
MaDukes: Yeah, then it got too late and then I was going to go again but we didn’t make it.
Urban: Lawd.
MaDukes: What?
Urban: Nothing

Anger Mgmt: Grandma, how many times have you been over granddad house because it sounds like a lot.
MaDukes: Burst out laughing.
Urban: I know AM, I just was letting her keep talking because she will tell you everything. Don’t show your hand. Go on mommy keep talking.

So, I hear my mother whispering on the phone and she is telling my father that she has all her clothes with her (she washed her clothes at my house) and she is laughing and she told him he didn’t have to fold her clothes and all this crap. EWE, EWE, Muthaflucking EWE.

My mothers’ hair was looking kinda crazy so I decided to wrapped and curled it for her and she looked cute. Why did I do that? Could not tell her nuthin!!

She was back on the phone with my father and all of a sudden she started talking about how she needed to go home and all this crap and I am like WHAT. You are suppose to stay the night. Mr. Conservative told her no way, but then gave in and told her he would take her over there. DISGUSTING!!

Urb why are you so angry. You said your mother has been looking for someone to fulfill the void your stepdad left and hey it’s your dad. Let me tell you what I told my mother before she left.

Mommy, why are you laughing like this is the best thing in the world. I understand you are grown and all but this man has not changed. You told me earlier that when he saw you he said he was not gonna let you go again (throw-up) and you laughed it off and he said he would kill you first. THEN after I did your hair, and Mr. Conservative said you looked nice he said why is he looking at you, tell him to keep his eyes on me. Now he knows Mr. Conservative and I do not think he is joking. You think because he is old he can not do anything. I do not like it at all he is still talking violent and you just laugh it up like it is the coolest thing.

She responded by telling me she can handle herself and that he is too old to do hurt any damn body and that she is trying to help him get his life together he asked her too.

WTF, can a sane person beat her over the head and tell her to get her damn ducks in a row, but I digress. I told her he has been doing just fine all these years.

Whatever, just nasty on so many levels.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My father called me.

I never listen to my answering machine. My house phone is around because it is older than Mr. Stefon, so I keep it for sentimental reasons.

If you want me you should call my cell phone most people knows this. However, some that know are just plain crazy. Meaning, my uncle and sister who continue calling my home number and wonder why I do not return their call. IDIOTS call my cell.

One morning I was dressed early so I decided to check my answering service and the very last phone call was from my father. Yup, you heard me, my father.

So, I waited until I got off work to call him, because I didn’t want to call him from my cell phone number. He has my cell phone number but do not remember it and I want to keep it that way. He will keep me on the phone for hours and do not understand it when you tell him I’m at work.

Anywho, during the conversation my father told me my grandmother was in a nursing home. I told him I wanted information on where she was so I could visit her. Although, I really do not have “feelings” for him, I do have “feelings” for her.

Earlier in the day when I spoke to my mother, I told her my father called and she told me she wanted his phone number. If you all remember, I told you before they both always ask for each other’s number and I always cock block. Which was easy to do in the past because my mother was in Georgia and my father was here in the city.

While I was talking to my dad I told him my mother wanted his phone number and was it okay for me to give it her and he said sure. Later, when I spoke to my mother, I told her about my grandmother and she told me she wanted to see my grandmother. I gave her my fathers number.

A couple days later I am at home chilling watching t.v. and my mother calls me and is laughing like she is 16.

Ma Dukes: Someone wants to speak to you.
Urban: No!!!!! (my mother has a habit of putting people on the damn phone)
Father: Hey
Urban: Hello?
Father: Hey babygirl.
Urban: Oh, hi.
Father: Yeah, I am here with your mother. Do you have a problem with that?
Urban: WHAT?
Father: Yeah you don’t have a problem with us hanging out do you.
Urban: (throw up a little bit in my mouth) I am busy, tell my mother to call me back later. Bye.

WHAT THE FUCK!!! Dude leave me a lone.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My sister ain't staying here!!

My sister is a trip. We kept in touch kinda after she left. She would send me pictures of her and the family – like 20 at one time –WTF, send it in an email and not a text but whatever. Nevertheless, I did not say anything I have free text message and she was being cordial and I was trying to forget the shady stuff she pulled yet again with my mother keeping the girls this summer. I am not even going to talk about it or this story will be VERY long, which this one will be kinda.

Thanksgiving my sister called and we talked for a minute and had a good time on the phone talking about past Turkey days, like my mother ex-boyfriend putting greens in the dishwasher. Man those were the greenest greens I ever saw. He tried to convince us that that is how they do it in the south. Yes, folks he was born and bred in the south, but he could not cook. How did those greens taste? I have no clue, it was no way in hell we were eating them damn things.

Anywho, after she got off the phone with me, she spoke to Mr. Stefon and I heard Mr. Stefon say –

Mr. Stefon: Where you staying?
Mr. Stefon: Over grandma house?
Mr. Stefon: No, you must be staying over grandma house because you aint staying over here.
Mr. Stefon: No I don’t. Love you to Aunt …..

My mother the family instigator gets on the phone and she is dying laughing. I mean crying. She then says, he said what? My sister told my mother that Mr. Stefon got a smart mouth. She told him that she might come up for Xmas and he told her that she could not stay at our house. She asked him did he pay any bills in the house. She said he was too grown.

Of course, I told him he should not have said that and commenced to laughing, because the shit is funny.

A week later, my mother calls –

Mommy: Hey sweetie.
Urban: Hey mommy, what you doing (YES I still call her that and will always),
Mommy: Nothing. You speak to your sister.
Urban: No. (a here we go moment).
Mommy: Oh, did you know she is coming up here for Christmas.
Urban: Nope. I don’t know where she is staying she hasn’t spoken to me.
Mommy: I think she wants to stay at your house and she told me that she would be here for 3 weeks.
Urban: WTF. Not my house, especially for three weeks. Mommy tell your daughter the next time you speak to her that she cannot stay at my house.
Mommy: (laughing) Well she is not staying at my house, because I told her she can not sleep on my sofas and she said she is not sleeping on the floor and she was very comfortable at your house and she wants to spend time with her nephew.
Urban: Mommy don’t play with me. Seriously tell your brat to call me or tell her no. I would hate for her to travel real far and not have a place for her to stay.

This hussy did not offer to pay for NOTHING why her party of 10 was here. Granted I wasn’t expecting it either I had enough food (thanks Costco) for all their asses, but still her ass could have offered she didn’t. AND the worse part her ass would not lift a finger to do anything. She was suppose to help and she was like I don’t do anything before I put my makeup on – GTFOH. Makeup do not make you fry chicken better. I swear she makes me want to FUCK HER UP! Yes I said it.

Moving on. Guess who calls me yesterday? Yup my mother – sure was not that sister of mine.

Mommy: Hey baby girl, haven’t spoken to you (yes she has, so I know something up). How the kids and my son in law?
Urban: They are doing fine. You speak to that brother of mine?
Mommy: No, I think he is ignoring my calls (smart man), I would like to see my grandkids even if its for five minutes. (Manipulator).
Urban: Well he might have his reasons for not calling he might be busy.
Mommy: Maybe you can call him for me and then……
Urban: Okay I will when I hang up(translated HELL NO, that’s between ya'll).
Mommy: Your sister called me and said she may not come now because someone broke in her truck and…….
Urban: Mommy, you are a very bad parent.
Mommy: laughing – why would you say that.
Urban: BECAUSE you would let your daughter come all the way up here and she would not have a place to stay. You should have told her to either call me OR tell her.
Mommy: dying laughing – Well, its not my responsibility. She is not coming.
Urban: Okay, responsibility, when all 10 of them is in your 1 bedroom apt you will understand because I am not playing with ya’ll.
Mommy: I won’t be home.
Urban: Nor will I. The Inn will be closed.

They get on my nerves. Like I told my mother the hussy and her clan ain’t staying at my house. Why Urban? What is the real issue? Why don’t you call her? It’s the principality of the whole damn thing. I ain’t calling her ass because as far as I am concerned, I don’t know shit about it since she was not woman enough to call me. Therefore, I ain’t doing SHIZZNIT!! I would never think I can just stay over someone house. I would ask you first. How in the hell do you just go over someone house. Futhermore, when did schools start letting out for three weeks? That sounds fishy, she may never try to leave.

Next up. Old school - New school creeping. I just threw up a little bit typing that.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Relationship woes - Have you seen Urban?

Finding Urban. Have you seen her?

Well I have, but if I wrote this post a couple months ago……not so much.

See when you’re the strong one, mommy, “best daughter”, super wife, and all around chica. You can get lost.

Well I did just that.

My relationship with my husband is tight, however, there were times around the summer when I could not find myself. My husband and the kids were working my left nerve. EVERYONE got on my damn nerves – yup if you could breathe, pretty much, yeah you got on my nerves.

Normally, I brush the shit off and keep it moving, but for some reason this shit was bothering me.

I have always communicated because I know that it is key, it is not a saying. It is true and I NORMALLY live by it but I got to the point where I did not want to hear what folks were saying and I did not want to talk about it.

One thing we both have always had is laughter. We joke all the time and we have this saying, when I do not feel like he is doing what needs to be done, I will ask him “where the hell is my pedestal?” – no I am not crazy or think I am a queen. It is just a saying to know - hey dude pay attention to me, he has a saying to when he wants me to listen, but I will leave that one out.

We never really had to make room for each other. Our parents always got the kids for weekends or my mom for the summers in VA or GA. We had 9-5 jobs for most of our coupledom and off on the weekends. It was easy to count on him being there. When I went to school for undergrad he would be there in the evening and took care of the kids. Allowed me to study until 2 in the morning and make the kids leave me alone and did not complain. When I was clubbing HARD, he was there to make sure they were well fed and homework completed. When I was a workaholic, yup, he was there doing his thang. So much so, as I told ya’ll before Mr. Stefon teacher did not know who I was and at my oldest son 8th grade graduation he gave Mr. Conservative a rose for being the one who supported him the most during the school year (still a little peeved about that one can you tell!), but it was the truth. I cannot lie, he was/is father of the year.

Sometimes, I do not know how I or he did it because I was determined to have my cake and ice cream. Meaning I wanted to be on the Dean’s List (accomplished – mama ain’t no idiot), plus I wanted to party like it was 1999 and come home and be Mrs. Cleaver and a video vixen (FOR MY HUSBAND ONLY). And I did. We made it work.

We always made time for each other. I had a schedule – work, school, study, party, take care home and repeat again.

Fastforward to the summer time and it all became somewhat of a stand still. My husband was working hard and he got a promotion. However, with working hard his schedule changed no more working early in the a.m. and home by 2. He was working all kinds of crazy hours. The kids began to complain because they missed having their dad at home and then on a couple of occasion going to sleep with both parents not home because I would be at school and he would be at work. Well, it affected Mr. Stefon the most because his bedtime is 8 – no if and’s, but’s about it.

Then it got to the point were we were not going out on our dates and spending that much needed time together. I mean damn we been together all this time and NOW it becomes a problem. I did not want to be that girl that said – how come we don’t spend enough time together –when I knew he was at work.

Of course, I do what I normally do shut down. Plus, at this time I was having issues with the world. I think my mantra was Fuck the world don’t ask me for shit (thanks Method for the verse).

My husband is a good husband asking me what’s wrong? How can he fix it? He really was/is a trooper and what did I do? Make his life a living hell.

This is why when I did write I said I was writing in my journal. I knew something was wrong with me but what. Who knows? I go through these bouts were everyone and their momma gets on my last damn nerve.

So I picked up my journal which I have not written in, but I believe I told ya’ll I found it a couple months ago. Talk about that later too. But any who, I have not written in this thing since I believe 2000 but it was calling me.

See one good trait I have, (which I have many by the way, back to the blog) Is that sooner or later, I will take a look at myself and analyze my actions. I realized that I was doing two things. One I was being selfish. Here is the one time he was being selfish enough to work on his career and I was throwing a fit because I was not getting his attention. He never complained about me working long hours or anything. If he did I didn’t hear him or don’t remember. Now the clubbing he complained about a little, but even then it was I don’t want you to go but if you want to, go ahead. You know I ran with that and laced up my nike boots and was out the door. I mean seriously, I was clubbing hard, like going to work and school full-time, and clubbing maybe 3 times a week. But I came home, and tried to make up for it by taking the kids out on the weekend and buying their love basically. I was young then. Not an excuse, but a fact. I wasn’t always clubbing but for about two years, yeah, problem.

Second problem, somewhere in the last year I lost me. I got dependent on him always being there. I go out with my friends and everything, but our time together was important; and when he was off he was tired and wanted to sleep and I would poke my lips out like I was two and had tantrums until he would say – okay lets go where you want to go, but I can’t stay out too late because I have to be to work at 5 am, which meant he leaves the house around 4:30. Now a rational person would say okay, or maybe we should stay in and make do. But a crazy woman, which would be me, would say just forget it I don’t want to go any more with all those stipulations. Yeah, I know, I know. I was being an ass. But that is what I was being - a major jackass. Now if the man would have lost his job for not working I would have lost my damn mind, but heck I was not thinking about that, well yeah I was. I was not saying do not work, I was saying make time. Again, back to problem number one being selfish.

Anywho, life is much better in our household. Once I stopped acting like an ass and taking a good, hard, long look at myself and my actions. But, in my defense like I told him, you spoiled me and made me this way and its hard being on a pedestal and then dropped kicked off. I was use to our time, and like I tell anyone, I like coming home to my husband and kids. I actually still like them. I laugh and joke and call them names, but would not trade them in. Furthermore, I had to tell him although we have each other we need to keep each other interested. I do not want one of those random relationships were people are just there and no passion or intimacy, bump all that. You need to continue acting like you met me yesterday, do not take it for granted that I am here. You need to still do them moves you use to do ya dig, and I will still do them things that got you in the first place. Just saying.

Marriage, family, relationships are not easy, but they are what you make them.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

R U Ready 4 Some Football

It is snowing in D.C. and I love it!! I am rounding up the troops and were about to go play football in the snow! Its been years since we did this because the snow haven't been that great. Okay gotta go find many pants and tops to put on......

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

He was lying. He did not get no damn dog. He just wanted to work my dang on nerves. I swear I will have hypertension because of school, work, and his crazy behind.

However, he is not slick. I told ya'll before he has been joking about bringing a damn dog home. I think he is trying to prepare me, but he better not. A dog can not replace a child. He wants a baby, but don't want a baby and his replacement is a animal.

Friday, December 18, 2009

My husband better be lying!!

I just got a phone call.

Urban: Hey, they told me you called me.
Mr. Conservative: Where you at? You left work?
Urban: No, I was away from my desk. What's up?
Mr. Conservative: I did something.
Urban: Oh lord, what?
Mr. Conservative: You promise not to be mad.
Urban: Hell no Mr. Stefon. Stop playing I am trying to leave work.
Mr. Conservative: I got a puppy.
Urban: Bullshit!
Mr. Conservative: Serious beans.
Urban: Man whatever. Stop playing. I do not have time for jokes, I am 5 minutes pass my time to roll. Bye.


Lord, I hope his ass is lying. For real. Please let this man I love be lying before I have to harm him on a Friday. I have carpet throughout my damn house and the plan was to wait for hardwood and a puppy can't stay outside tonight because it will snow.........or can it?

I swear fo GAWD!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Vote for what you want to hear about first!

Hey ya'll. I miss you gals. I have been trying to figure out what story should I tell you all about first. Let’s see:

- My relationship roller coaster/woes. (past tense because it is back on crackalackin)
-House issues – Do you really need hot water to wash your arse or maybe not.
- People from the past.
- Conversations with Urb
- Old romance, now new romance – let me just say ewe – about to throw up.
- Haters – friend or a friend edition
- Haters – blog hate – not me, but I think I might have a passive/aggressive hater. I have been thinking about blogging about this, but um, I really do not care. I might just put it out there. Am I feeling froggy????????
- Customer service is a mofo.
- My sister what and going to stay where?
- Classmate drank who shizznit? (old, but brought it up once, but never discussed as usual)
- Apple Martini, and a shoe sitting outside – never again (old, again said I would discuss but didn’t)
- Reflections

Put your vote in, either way, I am pretty sure I will cover all these and then some.

My life, my life, my life in the sunshine. If you look at my life and see what I see....

Off to happy hour with my school peeps!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm Alive!!

Yes ma'am another semester down and three more to go!! I got plenty of stories coming soon.

I am so happy to be DONE.......well until January.

Hope everyone is well. What have you all been up to?

Urban

Monday, November 16, 2009

Bored

Mr. Stefon school called. So I put on my Superwoman cape scooped him up and used my special powers to get an appt with his doctor. Now my only problem is getting him seen in the next couple hours. Lawd. I did not bring any knitting or a book to read. I am in impatient hell with sick people. I try and avoid dr offices and hospitals like the plague this time of year because you might walk in with nothing but might leave out with something. Well at least I can smile at the cute babies.........until I hear them crying from the back.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

A job is a job is a jobbie job.

I have been on vacation since October30th 2009. Today is my first day back to work. Why do it seem like I never left? Could it be the numerous phone calls while I was away? Let’s see.

Monday I didn’t receive any phone calls. It was awesome and Mr. Conservative and I hung out. MUCH NEEDED. Tell you about that later.

Tuesday, Mr. Conservative and I go shopping and are having lunch when my cellphone starts ringing. He tells me not to answer it but I could not help it because it is Shorty by Nature (the man who pays me) and I do need my damn job. Now, I know when your on vacation the phone may ring. BUT NOT FOR STUPID STUFF and what he wanted was stupid and could wait.

Wednesday, Shorty by Nature get someone else to call me and then she asked me would I be by my email. Um, NO not checking. So Shorty by Nature proceeds to blow up my phone even, WHILE I am in class. Remember I get out at 8:30. Um, yeah. Call the office back and I told him I would come to the office either late at night or early (before he gets to work) in the morning and do a favor for him. He said oh if you come later, I can come in with you – NOPE. I ain’t dumb you will give me more crapola to do.

Thursday at 5:30AM go to work and find not one that I am stupid because he STILL left me five different things to do which was NOT the one thing he requested and I was doing a favor for. Can you say WTF.

Friday, Monday, no call and if I got one was not going to answer.

Tuesday, another phone call. I did not answer nor did I call them back I figured it could wait until TODAY and it could. However, I did work. I had to do the payroll and you know I was NOT gonna skip that a sista gotta get paid ya dig!

So, I count three vacation, 1 holiday, 4 weekend days and 4 work days.

Again, I am thankful for my job, but I wonder if I can make a rule like the one we give our kids. You know the rule. Don’t come crying to me unless your bleeding or you broke something. I was two seconds from telling their ass that……….but then I remember my mortgage, how I like to eat three times a day and taking a shower is really nice.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Martin and Gina

OMG I know its early but the wedding planning episode with Tracy Morgan and the other comedian competing against each other is too damn funny. When Hustle man bought out the chitterling loaf I thought I would die. Martin asked that fool did he sprinkle some basil on it like he liked it AND then had a nerve to try and charge them $19,000 for fake flowers, chitterling loaf and a harmonica.

My kids says that my husband and I remind them of Gina and Martin. I can watch Martin episodes all damn long........except the ones at the end when their ass could not be in the studio together.

Martiiiinnnn, Martiiiiinn!!

Friday, October 30, 2009

FO: Nottingham Hat

Pattern: Nottingham Hat (free on Ravelry)


Yarn: Paton 100% Wool Black

Needles: Size 9 dpn




This hat was very quick. I made it for Mr. Stefon. He was complaining I never knit him anything that I always knit for Anger Mgmt. So, I decided to do something really quick so I could knit some new stuff for me. This year there are so many patterns to knit. However, make sure you have some wooden dpn because the metal was way too slippery and slowed down progress.

Anywho, I knit him this wonderful hat and he loves it. Now Collegeboy wants one and he is complaining that I was suppose to make him a hat, scarf and blanket and he never got it. Kids are a trip. The hat looks smedium on me, but I think it would look cute a little longer. Again, this hat is for Mr. Stefon.

Anywho, I finished the hat in time for Mr. Stefon birthday. BTW, let me know in the post if you want to hear his birth story. I figured Tuesday has come and gone, I can tell it next year unless you all want to hear about it.



Monday, October 26, 2009

Ya'll are two kinds of crazy

The previous post is when Mr Conservative and I found out we were preggers with Mr Stefon.

Sheila and Two Cables you all would know if I was preggers again because I would ask the both of you to knit and crochet me a straitjacket ya dig!!

Knowing full well I still don't have the copper iud. I am so going to get it.

Um, you pregnant

Not now damn it!

After each one of my children, I said I was not having any more. I figured after College boy and Anger Mgmt that would be it. I hit the family right on the nail. One boy, one girl. Mr. Conservative and I was doing the happy dance because Anger Mgmt was in school and we would soon be able to go to the movies after 6, because we actually listened when the movies said no kids after 6 unless it was a kiddy movie.

However, as you all know I am a big ass procrastinator. I schedule my appt with the gyn, he gave me all the new shizznit about the different birth control methods, and I told him I would look at it and do my research and schedule another appointment. WELL, it took me forever to decide on the copper IUD. I loved everything I heard and birth control pills were out of the question because they make me very sick.

Conversation:

Urban: Doc, we are going to go with the copper IUD.
DR. FINE: (Laughing) You cannot get it.
Urban: I thought you said it was my choice and I want the Copper IUD
Dr. F: Too late.
Urban: What you mean to late? Stop playing. Are we inserting it today or do I have to make another appointment?
Dr. F: You can’t get it.
Urban: Why?
Dr. F: Because you are already pregnant.

GET THE FREAK OUT OF HERE!!

Tomorrow: Mr. Stefon birth story.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

One day down 57 minutes to go.

Lawd I hope parents come on time. But in my experience. They won't.

I didn't have my drink, however it is setting to the side for when their ass leave.

Mr. Conservative had to be to work at 5 which means he left at 4:30. Which meant the garage door opened, hence waking up the brood and they started all over again.

The alarm man came by this morning to activate our system because they left something Thursday. Well he told me it was about to go off and I probably should let the kids know. I said no, that's okay they are good. They started screaming like banshees and I LOVED it.

One little smart ass one been throwing a balloon and when the alarm guy came, he strategically threw the balloon down the steps to see who was here as if I didn't know what he was doing. But I let him do it. I then hear him give a report that its a man AND its not Mr. Stefon father.

He proceeds to throw the balloon back by us again.

Urban: That balloon is about to be popped.
SNOT NOSE KID 1: How do you know?
Urban: I know because I am going to pop it!
SNK: Why would you do that?
Urban: Because I told you more than once stop bouncing with that balloon so when it comes over here again. I am going to POP it.

I hear them outside now playing football. I heard someone crying a couple times, but they will be okay. I just told my godson watch out for your finger he has broken it before. His mom's a nurse. He will be okay too.

I know my neighbors are like who the hell are those loud ass kids running around. But its all good, Mr. Stefon is rarely outside so deal with it because I am not,my house is already destroyed. Pizza is easy, but the HAND PRINTS I just saw on the wall is ridiculous but Mr. Stefon will be cleaning that shit up right after they leave.

The alarm guy said, you must be crazy, bless your soul. I asked if he wanted to stay and entertain them, he said no thank you, I didn't take my meds.

COME GET YOUR KIDS

Friday, October 23, 2009

LAWD HAVE MERCY!! Can I PLEASE have a dirty martini!

What was I thinking when I told Mr. Stefon that he could have a sleepover for his birthday!!!

These boys! All Boys!! WOW!!

They are talking about high blood pressure and some more.

Why did Mr. Conservative have to work tonight? He will not be home untill 11. Collegeboy said he is not helping because that is not his kid. Aint that some bullshiggity!!

I must have been crazy thinking that them playing games all night would be easy. I forgot how competitive kids can be.

Is it wrong to drink a Dirty Martini while your watching other people kids?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

FO: Irish Hiking Scarf

Irish Hiking Scarf by Adrian Bizilia
Needles US 6
Yarn 3.25 balls Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK




I finished this scarf two weeks ago, I think. This yarn is so lovely. It is super soft but I made if for my Aunt-in-law (is that what they are called?).

I WILL be making this scarf for me. The red looks good on me and I have a couple balls left. I like skinny scarfs maybe I can drop a cable or ..... we will see.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Why Me? All Wh.ite Party in October

Okay. Let me tell you quickly.

It is 46 degrees and getting colder. AND it gets colder on the water. Also, it is October, which means it is after Labor Day. Why haven't I learned to say no to crazy stuff.

Guess where I am going in 2 hours?

I am going on a boat. In all white. In October. In the freaking cold.

Can you tell how happy I am? Can you feel it with the words I just typed. Well Mr. Conservative is hawking my actions on the computer and I need to finish putting my all white on so I will hit you all back after I get back if I am not frozen to death. If you hear of people freazing to death in Annapolis on a boat. That would be my crew. Jesus!! No escape on a boat at all. I hope they have PLENTY of alcohol.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You know your tired when.....

......you are typing and you say to your self.

Self, is my eyes closed? Um, Yeah. Wake the freak up before you get us fired. Who does that? Go to sleep typing.

I need a Big Ass Mocha Latte.

I miss you guys I have so many stories to tell. Maybe later when I load Irish Hiking Scarf.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

FO: Ene's Scarf



Pattern: Ene's Scarf by Nancy Bush
Yarn: Blackberry Ridge Wool 2 skeins
Needle Size: Addi Turbo U.S. 4


It's a wrap. I am a KNITTER ya dig!! I love this scarf (shawl). When I first saw Scarfstyle I just had to make this. However, I was a little scared because I was new to knitting. But watch out there now because I's a knitter now!!!

I wish I could get better pictures, but it has been ugly in D.C. and the only one home to pose at the time was Anger Mgmt and she will NOT be America's Nex.t To.p M.odel. I thought I was going to have to sock her because she would not listen and I just could not get pics. I wish Mr. Stefon was home but he was at stupid Rugby.

But anywho. My problem now is. Um, when am I wearing this? Most likely Anger Mgmt will be rocking it as usual.






I finished the Irish Hiking Scarf too and will post soon.

PPPPEEEEAAAACCCCEEEE!!! In my best Pam (Tichina Arnold)voice

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Update: Birthdays, Kids, Ene and ME

Dang it’s been a minute but you know how life is.

Birthdays
The month of September was a lot of b-days:
Mr. Conservative turned 37 on September 28th
Ma Dukes turned 50 something on September 18th
Nephew on Sept 11 and Oct 3rd and Niece on September 24th

Mr. Stefon
Mr. Stefon plays Rugby and has a cell phone (LAWD have mercy will discuss later). He got his progress report and received all 1 A, 1 C+ and the rest B’s. So right now Mr. Stefon rocks.

Anger Mgmt
Is Anger Mgmt. She is doing what she is suppose to do with school and has chosen Columbia as her college of course, however we will see at first it was NYU, then Georgetown. I just no she wants out of the house and NYC is where she wants to be located. I also overheard a conversation with her and her little friends. Now that’s one good thing a cellphone is for or is it….

Collegeboy
He is in school and I guess he is doing his school work only time will tell. I swear they should give college students progress notes. Oh well. I am excited at the fact that he will let me buy him some clothes. I’m sorry we ALL are happy at that fact.

School and Work
School is okay. I wish I was done but whatever. I am still at the same job, but I have been looking after changing my resume yet again (shut up, I had to, remember the critique from Resume Goddess) and I applied to two internships through my school and one I want oh so BAD!!

Knitting
Finished Ene’s scarf (shawl damn it). I have a couple pics I tried to take, but will take more when I get home so I can strike that shawl pose.


Me
I have been up and down over this past month. So much so, that although I did not have time to talk to you guys I picked up my old journal and used the fresh pages left in there. I even read pages of what 2000 Urban was feeling. Wow is all I can say right now.

Okay that is the end of this update. How you durin?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Weekend: Promotion, Family Day, Black Family Reunion

Hi folks. This week has been crazy. We burried the dinosaur and got a new laptop so I can now write at home.

The weekend.

Friday – Surprise party

I am crazy as you all know. I waited until Wednesday to plan a surprise party for my husband. He received a promotion at work and I wanted to celebrate it with family and friends. My husband is a great guy and I wanted to surprise him. So we did a BACKWARD surprise party. Meaning, instead of him coming home and we all yell surprise, he would already be home and as people came he would be surprised. He was very surprised and thankful. I love game night so that was the theme. I am telling you Monoply Cards is the bomb. I can’t STAND Monoply board game but the cards are the TRUTH. They also made a new Scrabble card game but we didn’t get a change to play because we were playing Life, Pictionary, Uno, Wii and I taught them how to play poker.

Saturday – Beauty shop and family day

Our appointment was at 7 am and because people were over late I slept like a baby. My husband wakes me up out of my deep sleep and says.

Mr. Conservative: Hon, don’t you and Anger Mgmt have an appointment at 7.
Sleepy Urban: Yeah
Mr. C: Well you know its 8.
Urban: WHAT?

I jump up call the chica she told me to come in and I told her I would be there in about 15 minutes. I go to the my door to call for Anger Mgmt to get up. How come this child is already up watching t.v.? She knew we had an early appointment. I swear fo GAWD!

Mr. C drives us there and in the car he says. I woke up around 5 and 6 a.m. but you were sleeping so well. WHAT?!? So he was woke. Why didn’t he wake me up?
Anywho, it was all good. We got there about 8:40 and out by 10:15. I LOVE IT!! I hate staying all day and we still had the day left.

Around 1:00 the husband and I took the family out to eat which we haven’t done in awhile and then we went shopping. THANK GOD they have cellphones. We gave them money and told them to meet us at 6 p.m. So sweet! We didn’t have to go into their stores, i.e. Game Stop and Claires. We did get a phone call from College boy and Mr. Stefon asking us could we bring them 4 dollars. WTF. We also got to look at laptops for the family because we all are about to hurt College boy. He has a laptop and do not want us to touch his at all. I think I told ya’ll he told Anger Mgmt to use her phone or go to the library because she was not going to mess up his computer. Well Wednesday, we went and bought the same laptop we picked out Saturday. Why didn’t we just buy it then. Whatever.

Sunday – Black Family Reunion

My mom and I went to the Black Family Reunion down on the Mall. I try and go every year but missed the last two so I was determined to go this year. I love being on the Mall. You look one way you see the Capitol and the opposite you see the Monument. The weather was gorgeous as well.

We really had a ball. It was so much stuff to do, however, I did notice that their were less sponsors and no vendors. I remember buying art work from a vendor years before and I so wanted to see vendors that catered to my needs and likes. But I guess it was not meant to be. Oh well we did get some complimentary tickets to How Sweet the Sound.

I really loved hanging out with Ma Dukes and she said the same as well. I know I am my mothers child but the more we are together, as much as she knows how to work my nerves, the more I realize that we are not that different. My humor, stubborn and control freak surely came from this beautiful creature which is my mother.

Monday she called to tell me that she really had a good time and that we definitely need to do it more often and we will. I need to stop using the excuse that life gets in the way. It was easy to use when she lived in Georgia but now that she only lives 15 minutes away it is unacceptable. We will see…….

Friday, September 11, 2009

Girlfriend with a Wife on the Side

Sunday, I go to a cookout that no one wanted to go to. Well I let me rephrase. I went because my best friend of 23 years gave the party. However, we ALL wish it was catered. Only Mr. Stefon came to the party because he wanted to play with the other kids and get in the moon bounce. Moving on.

I am introduced to these two women, and I get the evil grit down. But its whatever I don’t care. How YOU doing!

We are talking and I find out that one chica is the coaches wife and the other lady is a football mom. So we talk and chitter chatter and the Football Flousy starts working my nerves because I can see she is trying to find something to talk about and she is picking on the Coaches Wife. So I decided that whatever she says I will go against her. Just because. Also, because she says dumb stuff.

Football Flousy: Don’t you hate it when you go places and people are real quiet. Just don’t say nothing.
Urban: No.
FF: You don’t find that strange.
Urban: Nope
FF: I find it strange, Coaches Wife don’t talk to nobody she is so quiet. She just be in her own world.
Urban: Okay, so whats wrong with that. I don’t talk to people right off the bat. I normally sit back and observe people. See what’s going on.
FF: Um. I find it disturbing for people to be so quiet.

WHATEVER!!

FF: I have a question. Is game night just for married folks. I mean everyone I know who is married have a game night.
Urban: No. Why would it just be for married folks? It is for whomever want to play games. Hell a lot of times its just me and the kids playing games and every once in a while my husband joins us. But I know single people or single parents, or whomever that have a game night and it can be random or set in stone.

Ugh. I hate when single people try to make married people seem like they are shackled or a whole nother species. She told us that she is happy to be single, that way she can do whatever she want, when she want, and in the same breathe said she wants someone. Save the drama for yo momma. I can careless if your married or not do you.

She kept doing shit like that the whole time coach wife was there and then made another comment asking her how come she don’t stay at the game like all the other coaches wives and follow their husband arounds like little puppies. WTF. I figured something was up.

Coach mom left and we were left alone to talk.

Urban: Yeah, I understand what she is saying being the Coach Wife.
FF: Well, I could say a lot. No I am not going to say anything. Well. You know when I met her husband the coach. I didn’t know he was married. He didn’t have a ring on or anything. I mean the way he was acting and stuff. And she was never at the practices or the games and then one day he introduced her to me and was like this is my wife. I was like what the fuck. That’s your wife, but um, I just met your girlfriend.

Blown away. First off it’s like she was blaming the woman for his infidelities because she didn’t stay on the field and WATCH her husband – play a fake as security officer. I kindly told her that, that is not what a wife should have to do. Maybe she didn’t feel like she needed to be on the field watching her husband. I trust my husband to do whatever he says he is doing. Now, whether he is doing what he said is another thing. I DON’T know nothing about it. I also told her the other women may follow their husbands because they have a trust issue or know ya’ll biatches or better yet know their damn husbands. I ain’t got time for all that. Sorry don’t.

So, when I got my BFF by herself I asked her about the girl and she told me it was RUMOURED that they were messing with each other. He said it didn’t happen that he just taken a liken to her son. Um, okay.

But he was messing with another chick that was not a part of the team and he left his family. Funny thing is he didn’t have shit – the house HER name, car HER name. Guess who came back. Yup after playing he came back and now I hear he wears his ring and she comes to the games more often.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Shopping with El Cheapo and Wally World Clerk TMI

My BFF decided she wanted to have a Hall.owee.n party. Love it! I told her she should make the invitations. She said, “no she was just going to buy them.” She deemed them too expensive and that we should definitely make them.

**fyi** It is a misconception to believe that it is cheaper for you to make invitations, then buying them UNLESS you have the equipment and all that, over time it will become cheaper, but the best part - you personalized your invitations and they look awesome. **um, fyi over**

We made a date to go Saturday. This hussy waits until 4:50 to start shopping and when my girls and I, get together we have to eat. I love seafood and since my family only eat fish, this is the time when I get to break out and eat everything in the damn sea. We decided to try this seafood buffet in VA. HATED IT!! Four thumbs and two pinky toes down. Will not eva, eva, go there AGAIN.

We then get to A.C. Moore late because we had to go way on the other side of town in MD, no biggie it was just us. While were in the car she is complaining the whole time. How she is not going to pay for this or that, she is not crafty, she ain’t got time for this or that. What the fuck? If you are throwing a party, you know your going to have to pay. Now you can pay a little or a lot, but this hussy ain’t trying to pay for NOTHING. As a good friend I offered my scrapbooking supplies, hell they are gathering dust unless I am wrapping a gift or for a school project.

We look at .69 paper she bitching and moaning. What am I going to do with this? How much paper do I need? I show her some examples. She liked them and STILL complained about the paper. Then have a nerve to ask me why I am not helping her any more. Probably, because I might hit her. I went to look at the damn yarn. Your saying, “Urban don’t be like that.” I am saying, this fool started yelling about the .99 ribbon. I had to break before I hit her with them damn ribbons. Then we went to Michaels, which we closed down. And again, complaints. While were going to Michaels we see a Halloween store. I said, you should go in there. She gave me a dirty look and said, we are going to the Dollar store. Okay then go, but do not be complaining to me. Nothing wrong with the dollar store. I got stuff from there before. However, we are talking about someone with Champagne Taste, she is not going to get anything in there. Then I receive a call from her on Tuesday.

BFF: Urban, I was looking online and everyone says I need to get the Mar.tha Ste.wart book it has great Halloween stuff. She used stamps for her invitations, but I like your idea better. It also had……….
Urban: I showed you stamps, but you thought it was too expensive.
BFF: No. It’s all good. I am going to use what I got. When are we going to go back and get the book?
Urban: What?
BFF: We need the book.
Urban: No. You don’t just look online.
BFF: Everyone says you need the book.
Urban: Wait. You want me to go with you to get a book that your cheap ass is NOT going to buy when you see the price. HELL no! Your ass want to go to the dollar store, when you were right by a Halloween shop that specialized in the shit. Hell to the naw! I am not going with you to get no damn book that you will NOT purchase.
BFF: Um, are you yelling at me.
Urban: PRETTY MUCH!

I know her she will not buy that book. She will ask my ass to go in on the shit. She told me when we was at the store “don’t you want to go half on a smoke machine.” Um, no.

When we left Michaels we went to Wally World and while we were there she reminded me we needed to do supply shopping for Mr. Stefon. See I was smart this year. Last year they gave me a generic list for a fifth grader. I did not know it was a generic list and tried to be a good parent and bought everything on the list. Needless to say, I paid around $200. It didn’t go to waste because the other kids used the items. We did not have money to throw out the window just because. This year I waited for the list.

Why is this hussy throwing in shit when I told her not too? She is picking up dividers that cost 4- 5 dollars because they are decorative. I told her to put the shit back. I will wait until they restock because of course waiting meant they were sold out because other parents did what they were supposed to do. Although I told her to put the shit back she didn’t. We are fighting in the aisle.

Urban: See, your ass don’t know how to act in public.

People are laughing at us bicker back and forth. But that’s us, we been friends too damn long. Well we go in line to check out and she is in front of me. She is blocking the whole counter so I can’t put my stuff on the counter.

Urban: Excuse me Miss. Can you move over so I can put my items on the counter?
BFF: No, you need to wait your turn.
Urban: You got all that damn room AND you are paying for your stuff. Move.
BFF: Lady, do I know you?
Urban: Oh you going to move your stuff. (I proceed to move her ass over) What the Hell! I thought I told you I didn’t want these dividers?
BFF: His school list says dividers and you need to get them for him. Stop being cheap.
Urban: No you didn’t call somebody cheap. This is going out of the cart and why are there two pencil sharpeners?
BFF: (laughing) Well he is a boy and you can’t expect him to just have one.
Urban: You play too much.
BFF: I am going to the bathroom.

WallyWorld Clerk: Are you two sisters?
Urban: Um, no. I dislike her, she is my friend.
WWC: You two been friends a long time?
Urban: Yeah about 16 years too damn long.
WWC: I use to have a friend like that but her husband broke us up.
Urban: Oh really. That’s a shame. I have known majority of my friends for over 20 years. My husband treat them like sisters.
WWC: I wish. Girl they started getting freaking in the bedroom and then that was it. Broke up our friendship.

Urban: (oh lawd, secrets) Whhhhhaaattt? (looking for Bff)
WWC: Yeah chile, he wanted her to act like her friends in the bedrrom.

Did ya’ll read that?!? Let me type it again. THIS FOOL WANTED HER TO ACT LIKE HER FRIENDS WHILE THEY WERE SEXING.

What type of bullshit is that?

Urban: Oh hell naw!
WWC: Yes, it got really uncomfortable. One day he said to me. Now I know your last name. Girl he had her act like she was me.

DEAD FREAKING STARE!!

Urban: Wow. I don’t know what to say.
WWC: Well my ex-husband……….

BFF came out at this point and I told her to have a nice night.

Look at BFF and said.

Urban: Gurllll! Wait until we get out the store I can’t wait to tell you our conversation.
BFF: Why are you always making friends? I can’t leave your ass alone for a second.

I guess being in Wallyworld after 10 P.M. and no customers in your line will give you the chance to talk to folk about everything.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

My weekend

Hey folks! How the heck are you? I had a wonderful weekend and beginning of the week.

Friday. I didn’t do too much.

Saturday got the car back. Went to a horrible seafood buffet and shopping with my friend who is crazy as all get out. She is throwing a Halloween Party and do not want to spend NO damn money. Then how in the hell do you throw a party?

Sunday went to my friend house for a cookout and she can’t cook. It is well known so my godsister ditched the party and my other friend just came to meet guys. DRAMA.

Monday went to brunch with the family and discovered that something is wrong with the water heater. Not stressed. Curse a little but it is what it is. Then I chilaxed and studied for one of my classes.

I have so many stories to tell you guys that I have to break them up because it was just too much drama going on this weekend. Again of course not with me but with the folks/parties I am around. Let see what some of the topics will be today or tomorrow if I have time to post. I did tell you guys that the dinosaur (our computer) is dead and I don’t feel like brining my laptop home or trying to type on the G1 so I do have an excuse.

Topics:

Conversation with the clerk at Wally world. Lawd off the chain.
Cookout included the coaches wife AND his girlfriend. Yes you read that right. COULD NOT BEEN ME.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Conversations with Urb

Background: Husband and I sitting in the car. HOT as heck and we sent the little bugger Mr. Stefon home and since it is now dark we can see the mosquitoes and other flying what not gathering on the window. I am getting bored. Mr. Conservative is sitting in the backseat.

Urban: Babe - what you doing?
Mr. Conservative: Um sitting in the backseat. (he is frustrated- I am as cool as a cucumber, well maybe not cool).
Urban: Babe.
Mr. C: What?
Urban: Let me see your stuff.
Mr. C: WHAT?
Urban: You heard me.
Mr. C: No.
Urban: Come on man ain't nobody going to see you its dark.
Mr. C: I don't care about that. I don't want them things to jump on my stuff.
Urban: (dying laughing) You will be okay, take one for the team.
Mr. C: You got to be crazy if you think I am letting them bite me.

Guy who USE to live in the house at the end of the street before they gave him the boot. In the car earlier waiting for the battery jump the second time.

DumbDude: Hey man, I thought that was you. (higher than cooty brown)
Mr. C: Hey what's up.
DD: Nothing man. You ran out of gas I got some money.
Mr. C: Naw man we just need a jump we called roadside.
DD: Oh okay because I got some money for you.
Mr. C: We good thanks man.

DD leaves and comes back. I see him approaching.

Urban: Here comes your best friend.
Mr. C: Dayhum
DD: So you want me to give you the money for some gas.
Mr. C: NO, we got gas its something else. We straight.
DD: Okay just let me know because I got the money.

STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING. What part of we have money and gas don't your ass understand?! Yes I know he was trying to be helpful. But when it is hot as hell outside and your sitting in a car burning up you might want to leave people alone if you don't have jumper cables in your back freaking pocket ya dig!! Shit we getting bit by mosquitoes and some more shit! Don't tempt me.

Oh I haven't even begun to tell you the drama with v.w. that is for another post. However, they are paying for the oil pan 618 that includes the labor and drum roll please. The mechanic called me about 5 minutes ago and said it is the altenator and that will be 1150.

Fuck me very much.

Ger.man love to drive them, but a biatch to pay for. This is why we hurried up and gave the benzo back to FIL before we got really use to it. It does ride smooth though, but the maintenance, the freakin maintenance.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

My Car Saga

Last Wednesday was Mr. Stefon first day of school. Well, Mr. Conservative and I went to pick him up from school.

Get Mr. Stefon and go back to the car and the car would not start. Call V.W roadside and we waited about 30 minutes. Of course, it would be the day when it was 95 degrees outside. However, it was cool once we opened the door. For some reason we were getting a nice breeze, so it wasn’t too bad. Roadside came and the guy jumped the car and we were on our way. Or so we thought.

We decide to stop at the store on the way home about 5 minutes from our house and noticed the car was starting to slow down. So we decided to nix the store and go the hell home. Well, 2 minutes away and the mofo cut off COMPLETELY. On a busy street, but by the grace of God no one was behind us.

We call the guy who helped us before because he gave us his card and he told us he was on his way. How come he didn’t show up? Did not return our calls. We had to call V.W roadside again, which we should have done the first time and he wasted 30 minutes of our time. Estimated wait time 45 minutes.

Now we are no longer receiving ANY kind of breeze. We are in the blazing sun. Mr. Conservative told us to go ahead home and he will be home later. Um, you have lost your fool mind. We are in this together. However, Mr. Stefon was getting the heck out because he was asking too many questions and it was hot as hell sitting on leather in 95 degree weather and hotter in the car. I told him to walk home and Collegeboy met him. THIS IS HOW FREAKING CLOSE TO HOME WE WERE.

A neighbor family member saw us and bugged the hell out of us, another post, too much to write. All I have to say is crack/alcohol is a helluva drug. Anywho, back to the show, I mean my life.

Roadside shows up with a carload of kids. They are screaming daddy can we get out of the car and all types of hotness and he is yelling back at them. A mess. The car starts and cuts right the heck back off. Needless to say, a tow truck needed to be called now.

Estimated wait time 1 hour. We had to pay 75 dollars to go just up the hill, but who cares at this point, just get us home. It would have been free if we sent it to the dealership or I used our insurance (idiot). Well they were not there in 1 hour and V.W had to whip some but they got their 15 minutes later.

Hooked up the car and we were in it. YES, I KNOW WE WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN. Leave me alone, I know it was stupid. Nevertheless, it was crowded at the front and just up the hill.

You have to use a code to get in our community (unless the badass kids tell you or push it in for you). We get out the car to tell him the code and Loco tow driver says.

LOCO: Man, you have a leak you need to fix that.
Mr. Conservative: BULL SHIT!
Urban: (who don’t know shit about cars except that should not happen) Dude that is oil and that is not a leak. YOU did that.
LOCO: I did not do that it was already like that.
Urban: Our car would not start because of something mechanical NOT FREAKING LEAKING and dude, there is a difference between leaking and POURING and if our car were pouring oil, we would not have any right now as long as we waited for service all day.

We get in to the community with oil going everywhere and Mr. Conservative looses his cool. Which trust me really does not happen that often. You have to push him to the edge but when you do…..

Why homie say to my husband.

LOCO: Man I was trying to help you out by doing you a favor.
Mr. Conservative: Man you what?
LOCO: I was trying to help you.
Mr. Conservative: HELP! Man you damaged my got damn car. I paid ya’ll ass to provide a service, that is NOT a freaking favor. A favor is free or a discount not making shit worse. You betta get out my face with that shit.

Imagine that is the clean version. Somebody was HAWT.

Why was I on the steps laughing? Not out loud. But just laughing, saying baby calm down. But that shit was soooo damn funny because he hardly looses his cool. But I knew I needed to get him, because he was about to loose his Conservative title.

I was very calm. I called V.W roadside and reported it and thank goodness everything was done through them so they are handling everything and could see that oil leakage (POURING) was not the problem and I called Gei.co and they know about it as well.

So, we had his father benzo until Sunday, and I think I now want a truck. But, now we are carless. Everyone is dragging their damn feet. I found out today that it will cost 615 for the oil pan which we will not be paying for, but damn, when will they fix that shit so that WE can find out what is really wrong with the damn car.

Mr. Stefon gets out of school at 3:45, we didn’t get in the house until a little after 9.


Guess whose back???

ENE'S SCARF!!

Yes, the temptress is back. I have been trying to get my hands on this thing to complete since I got out of school but that damn blanket took all my time. Especially, since I said I would be monogamous. That shit is for the birds. Well we are back on and popping.



School started for me yesterday. Lawd I have so much to tell you. My home computer is dead, my car is in the shop, I have gained over 20 lbs and um, I am happy. I must be having a breakdown or something. Back soon.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I am so emotional right now

I just left Mr. Stefon and he is so cute. I don't know if I am emotional because I walked up all them damn steps or because my baby is starting the six grade. I think it is the latter. Wow, my baby won't be a baby soon. He asked his sister last night if middle school was hard and she yelled at him with her mean ass and I told her don't forget you asked the same when you began high school. On the way to school this morning he told me he hated making new friends and saying his name over and over and I told him. Look just remember this. Today is the first day and everyone is new and nervous. He gave me three hugs and a kiss and one of the teachers said aweeeee. He walked up and down the steps three times until I just left so that he could move on. I have pictures but can't load because I am on the bus.

I want a new baby. Maybe I will go and play with someone elses kid. Mr. Conservative told me hell no a week ago.

Oh well my physical isn't until 10 so I guess I will be going to union station and chill. Peace.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

FO: Mirbeau Slip Stitch Baby Blanket


Pattern: Mirbeau Slip Stitch Baby Blanket by Brenda A. Lewis

Yarn: Loops and Threads Snuggly Wuggly Baby Sports

Needle Size: U.S. 6


This baby blanket has been a pain in my arse. However, I persevered and it is DONE!

I made this blanket for my next-door neighbor’s first baby. They do not know the sex of the baby; therefore, I made the blanket with pastel colors. If I had to do it over again, I would venture out to other colors.

This was a fun knit after I learned the pattern. The pattern is not too clear in the beginning. This was a love/hate blanket for me. Why? Here goes, let’s start with.....

Hate.

1. I should have carried all the colors up the side, but I thought it would be too bulky.
2. Damn this was a long knit, will use bigger needles if I knit it again.

Love.

1. THAT I FINALLY FINISHED A BABY BLANKET!! I started making my Godbaby blanket when she was in the womb and I believe she is five now. That yarn was taken out and used to create the SockWarrior sock for Sheri of Loopyewe. The red sock on the pattern was made with my yarn. Good damn yarn too.
2. I stuck with the pattern and did not cheat. Except for when I read a book or just left it all together. I got bored and I had an awesome summer. Therefore, I did not spend a lot of time knitting.
3. The blanket looks really nice and I am so very proud.
4. This blanket is machine washable, which I think any new mom can appreciate.
5. Grateful parents. When I told the mom, I was making her a blanket she was very excited and thankful. Always, love giving gifts to folks who will appreciate it.
6. Also, it looks like I did a lot of work but this pattern was very simple. I love simple patterns that looks difficult.
7. Thank goodness for scrapbooking. Because I might not scrapbook as much, but I am always using material I have for school projects or wrapping a baby blanket in it. It has all the colors of the blanket. SCORE!

All in all a great knit. I love the finished product, so it was well worth it.




Sorry for the crappy pictures but you should know the drill by now. One day I will get better.

Friday, August 21, 2009

My Birth Story: Collegeboy is 20 today!

Urban: Mommy can you take me to get some manwich.
Mommy: I will be glad when you drop that baby because you and manwich is getting on my nerves. Come on.

My mom and stepdad drove around to get me my manwich and while doing so, every bump I hit was painful. But I thought nothing of it. Then my mom said we should go to the hospital. We went to the hospital and they said it was probably Braxton Hicks (fake as contractions). They got tired of seeing me. This was my third time coming to the hospital that week. The nurses told me to walk around so the baby will drop and don’t come back until my contractions were five minutes apart.

Oh well. I went home and the Manwich that I adored turned into heartburn so I kicked my stepdad out the bed and went to lay with my mother. She slept like a baby and I kept complaining about back pains. I woke her up and she was like did your water break. I said no, she turned over went back to sleep. However, I made plenty trips to the bathroom and all that would come out was a little drizzle. Finally, I said freak it and called my Uncle who lived all the way across town.

Urban: Unc, you need to come pick me up because I am in labor.
Uncle: I am not picking you up because your mom and dad are there.
Urban: Fine. I am not going to the hospital unless you come.
Uncle: Okay, I’m on my way.

Called baby daddy who lived in the house across the street and told him “its showtime.”

Now I really didn’t know it was time, but my back hurt like hell and I determined that this had to be it or close to it.

Everyone piled up in the car for the hospital. Today my Uncle talk about the ride to the hospital because every bump was a problem.

Urban: (screaming) Can’t you try and miss the bump!
Uncle: I am trying. I am not even driving that fast.
Urban: DANG!! You got to be hitting every pothole known to man.

We get to the hospital, and because I was a young mom they treated me like crap. They wouldn’t give me a wheelchair. They told me I needed to walk. My Uncle told them to get me one. She said it was better for me to help bring me to full labor. But we kept trying to tell her I was sick and needed the wheelchair and she would not listen. Well in true Urban fashion, I threw ALL that manwich up and I got the damn wheelchair then.

Now, folks the whole time all I dreamed about while pregnant was getting an epidural so I wouldn’t feel any pain. However, after checking me they said I was fully dilated and did not have time to get an epidural. WHAT!? My mommy and doctor told me I can have one. Well, it is too late you are delivering this baby NOW.

Ya’ll I was so mad because I wanted that damn epidural and did not want pain. I can’t STAND pain. No sir re bob.

Anywho, went into the room and on August 21, 1989 I gave birth to a big headed little boy that was 21 ½ inches and 7 lbs.

He is the same as he came in the world quiet and gave his mother no trouble. He slid right out. I didn’t need stitches or anything. However, I do remember what the nurse in the room said. That was an easy birth, but the rest will be very painful. WTF!! If I have to see it from the nurse side – maybe she was saying that because I was a young mom and that would be a deterent. My side, DAMN she cold. That is not something you say to someone after giving birth no matter what age. But, it is what it is.

Actually, I have had three natural births with no epidural and no stitches – BLESSED.

Back to my baby boy. He stayed in the hospital an extra day because he had a little jaundice.

I just can not believe my baby is no longer a teenager and is a man. He is 21.

I am so thankful to God for this beautiful gift. Although after going in his room this morning to wish him a happy birthday I was ready to strangle the heck out of him.

I asked him what happened to his room.

Urban: Boy what in the world is going on in here.
Collegeboy: Nothing.
Urban: I know you see all this stuff on the floor, how in the heck do you walk around.
Collegeboy: Ma this is a working mans’ room.
Urban: Boy please, I will discuss this room with you tomorrow.
Collegeboy: Why are you taking pictures?
Urban: So I can put it on the web and show them how trifling you are.
Collegeboy: Okay. Maybe I will go in your room and take a pictures and upload it.
Urban: Whatever. Have a great day at work and happy birthday.


Tsunami, what in the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE ME SOME HIM.

Why you ask?

1. He is my child.
2. He calls home when he is out and let me know what time he will be home and he calls when he is at the metro, on the bus. Overkill really. But so what, I know where he is.
3. He interacts with us. He called me last week, excited he found a new game, Monopoly Cards, for us to play, so he purchased it. We finally played the game last night and we had so much fun. I hate real monopoly.
4. Last but not least, his character. He has always had a great spirit and I love it about him. He knows it is okay to be different and he does not care what people think. He plays his “white” music and hang out with his friends with no care in the world. He will give you his last dollar (or mine).

By baby is no longer a teenager, but a grown man (not really), but he will always be my baby.

The outfit he wore home from the hospital.

Sleeping. Damn, he is a splitting image of his father. Even mannerism. Lawd, I am glad that is all he got from him. And why is he sleeping with his laptop and video games and more...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The weekend: Comedy Club, Cookout, School Shopping

This weekend was great, except for some MINOR glitches. Let’s get to it. You know it has to be drama or some crazy shizznit wherever I am. The funny thing about it. I can’t stand drama and yet I am always close to it.

Friday - Comedy Club

My bff of 21 years and I went to a comedy/old ass hell club. My bff and almost everybody momma has been trying to get me to join Face.book. Well, I don’t want to. I don’t have time, plus I am not trying to reconnect with the people I went to high school with. People come and go for a reason. Well anyway, she has been going to the happy hours and kickball games. You name it - she has ditched the kid and husband to be there. She asked me to go to a comedy show because some dude from our school was performing. Do you remember???? Why must we play this game, you know I don’t. Let the drama begin.

We get there and get in the parking lot and was like DAMN, it smell like fried chicken. Man all you can smell is seasoning. While we are walking to the club these guys bump the horn. I kept walking, but she goes to the truck. She comes back looking all disturbed.

Urban: Whats up with you?
BFF: Girl, why he ask for my number?
Urban: Okay, and?
BFF: I told him, no I can’t do that I am married and he said good, so am I and showed me his ring. I just told him, okay good luck with that. Can you believe it.
Urban: Hell yeah. People are a trip and your ass was dumb going to the truck. What the hell you thought he wanted? PRAYER.
BFF: Shut up.

Get in the club and folks are hand dancing. I swear the men in the club average age was 60. Not mad at them, but damn. The comedy club was downstairs and while heading down we ran into the guy from school who was the host and a guy from school was a bouncer (maybe they have an internship for folks who went to our high school). The host stated he was going to sit us in the front because he knows we will try and hide. Damn, I sure was but we had good seats.



His set starts and he proceeds to tell us the rules of the club while he is performing. Now, while he is doing this two girls I actually remember from school comes in late (one I remember her name and the other just her mug). I KNOW Mug is about to break a rule. Why she comes in with the other girl, shock to see me she does the girlfriend thing we do. Hhheeeeyyy Girl and come and hug me. Why am I trying to dodge her grip because I know we are breaking a rule. Sure enough the comedian, gets on her. Now, if you were on time you could have handled all that. Now your interrupting my show. How come she wants to go word for word with him? Geez. After the comedy show we went upstairs to listen to the band that came later. We had a ball hanging out with Mug and the other chick.

Saturday - Hair Salon,Cookout

Hair - you already know about. I have decide to make orange, tomato and lemon juice out of the situation. It is what it is and it will work itself out. I can't stay in a negative place.

Cookout - I decided to go to a cookout my old coworker invited me to. He throws these big ass cookouts every year. Mr. Conservative, Mr. Stefon, myself and another BFF decided to go. Well while we are going in Mr. Conservative says…..

Mr. Conservative: You know we have to pay.
Urban: Stop bullshitting. No we don’t.
Mr. Conservative: Seriously, look.

Sure enough, there are ladies sitting in the corner with a money box and a sign saying $8.00. AND they even had the little orange bands to put on your wrist to show you paid.

MAN oh MAN you talk about someone who was heated!!! Mr. Conservative and BFF wanted to leave off of principle, but I convinced them to stay because I wanted to see some of the old folks.

What is crazy though. If my old homie would have told me we had to pay when he called me I would have gladly paid. I mean it was all you can drink alcohol and it was plenty. Ten bushels of crabs, Alaskan crab legs, shrimp, pig feet, seafood salad, steak. They went all out DJ, Picture Man, AND I heard an announcement that the Tattoo man was on his way (GTFOH). It was well worth the $8.00 but it would have been nice to know about it in advance, ESPECIALLY since I normally do not walk around with cash on me. I did have fun and saw some coworkers that I loved and exchange new numbers with because they were like older sisters/mommas to me. When I started working there I was 20/21 and left when I was 29. I grew up a lot there and they helped. I would have stayed there forever if the money was right, just because of the people.

Random folk, by nightfall there were about 200-300 folks there. I wonder how his neighbors felt about all the noise and parking?
Do you see the orange band and the picture background in the back?

I tried jello shots for the first time. Where the heck have I been. I love them, but them cute little cuddly things sneak up on you. I had about 6 or 9.

The purple and yellow was vicious they had rum and me no likey rum.

We also went to Columbia Mall this weekend. Anger Mgmt wanted to buy school clothes with the money she said up. So we had to go out there so she could go to one store dELIA. If you have a teenage girl, you know about this store, as well as Claires and Icing or whatever. She normally buys online but she wanted to see it in person, so we got Mr. Conservative to take us out there. She got some cool finds. It still amazes me when I see her shop an complain about the prices, because there are no complaints when she is shopping with me. One thing I can say is she goes to the clearance racks all the time. When she was little I use to always take her there first. My little mean baby is growing up.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Better Pics of Hair Color

Okay, I took pictures during my lunch break. So, the only thing not orange is my roots - which Anger Mgmt kindly pointed out already. Gotta love her. Anywho,I still don't understand how in the hell my whole head is this color since I had on the dumb ass helmet cap. Anywho, without further ado, I present to you. Carrot top.


Hair

Now, I got in the house about 2ish and had to be at the hair salon at 9 AND I had to take public transit because Mr. Conservative had to work. Man I was tired. I got on the wrong bus but it worked itself out.

Now, I already have color in my hair and I am trying to grow it out. I have not grown my hair out in years. I will chop it for no damn reason. It will grow back. I also color it maybe once a year – streaked. Well I decided my streaks were growing out too much and decided to let her streak it. Mind you, this is the second time I am going to her. I am in search of a new hairdresser. Well we pick the color and all that and she goes through everything and I see her looking funny.

Urban: What?
Dumbass: Your hair is um..
Urban: WHAT!
Dumbass: Well, it didn’t come out how WE thought. Its brighter, not light.
Urban: Well I am not worried too much if it is near the color. It will work its self out.
Dumbass: do you want to see the color.
Urban: No. What good would it do? It’s not going to change anything.

When she wrapped my hair I could see the color but of course it looks darker wet, so I said well its not that bad. Well when it dried and she did my hair. I was like WTF!!!! She started telling me how pretty the color is. Okay, granted the color is cute and I like it. Hell I had red/organge before. BUT I am looking for a job and not with the damn circus. OH and when I had it before, the damn shampoo girl put the rinse in and did not tell me. She made a mistake. Lawd I have so many salon tales.

Anywho, she did my hair in this funky way. Which hey, I will rock it. I am already rocking orange, yellow, red. I don’t know the damn color.

Reactions:

Mr. Stefon is playing his PSP when I come in the house. So I don’t say anything. I look at him and his mouth is WIDE open. Mommy are you okay? Can someone please tell me why I would not be okay. (asshole).

Anger Mgmt comes down the steps. I am in the kitchen. I can tell someone is staring at me so I turn around and sure enough – her ass is standing there with her mouth covered, like in a horror movie. I can’t wait for daddy to see your hair!

Collegeboy comes up the steps looks at me and says nothing (see, this is why I love him, but why his wife will be pissed with him,he doesn't notice anything). He just carries on a conversation. Then of course, Anger mgmt has to say. DO YOU SEE HER HAIR? He said yeah, its just different like all the other stuff she gets. (who is she?)

Mr. Conservative comes in and looks at it and said. Did you ask her to do that? NO. How come you didn’t stop her? HOW can I when I think she is doing what she suppose to. I like it. Didn’t you have your hair like that before? Yup, but it was a rinse. This shit is permanent. Well he likes it and so does everyone else but damn.

Oh AND this shit is not streaked its over my WHOLE head. I don’t get it. She put that little cap thing around my head. But oh well.

This was my hair for the 4th of July. I can't find another picture with the streaks. my hair looks a little darker here. See how short it is. This is when I decided to start growing it out. I call this the Five Heart Beats cut because of the Poof in the front and no hair on the sides - think Chr.isete Miche.lle.







Weekend post coming up and I will try to take a picture outside which is much brighter.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

MOMMY RESPONSIBILITY VACATION ENDS TONIGHT

Damn!! It has been a great ride being on vacation. I barely cleaned thed house. Less ocd. Let the kids clean or should I day half clean. You know I still wasn't cooking on a regular. Anger mgmt bought it up again. However I already decided todau would be the day. I have been on vacay since May and didn't do abday resolution or nothing. I guess back to business after 4 hours. Let me party this sucker up. I am at a cookout taking jello shots and waiting for the tattoo man. Ssshhhiiiittt! You know that ain't happening.

Hair still red trying to get a good pic

Why me? My freakin hair is orange/red

My freakin hair is red. Spice. Orange. Hell you pick one. Lawd what am I going to do. Oh and its permanent. I just don't get it blonde and orange is not the ame color. Will take a pic after she finish. Thank gawd I don't sweat my hair but I am still pissed.

DRAMA!

Friday, August 14, 2009

say something else about my mustache!!

If her ass ask me about my mustache one more gin. We are going to play "eye say hi to the fist." I am going out so I go get my eyebrows did and homie says you want me to do your mustache too. Hell muthafreakin no. First off I don't have a damn mustache and if it is one iits gonna stay there. Hell I shave everything else ya dig. Anywho she got one more gin to ask me that crapola. So I will ask the husband. Let's see

A. Babe you think I. Have a mustache?
B. Is my mustache long enough to braid?
C. Do my mustache tickle you when I do that thing you like?

Get the fuck out of here! I'm off to the club. We be clubbing!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My baby is growing up!

Mr. Stefon and I was walking to tennis camp and he spotted his little friends ahead of us and he said....

Mr. Stefon: I don't know why they are standing there.
Urban: I think they are waiting for you.
Mr. Stefon: I don't know why? I am walking with you.
Urban: If you want to walk with them you can. I can walk behind you guys because I am going to go to the store.
Mr. Stefon: You sure mommy? Because I can just stay back here with you.
Urban: No. Go ahead.......

Damn before I could finish the boy took off. I can't believe my baby will be 11 this year, let alone his brother will be 20 in a couple weeks.

Mr. Stefon is so sweet when he is not driving me crazy. He always want to hold my hand (still) and he loves to give hugs and kisses as well as letters and notes. AND he is so CUTE. Well at least I think so.

Here is my baby walking away with the red shirt and his crew. I am walking the required steps behind them.


Friday, August 07, 2009

Job Interview

The phone interview went well two weeks ago and today I am going to have a interview with the COO.

Hope all goes well. I am surprisingly not nervous, but I think I practiced enough to be ready.

Tell me a little about yourself?
What are your weakness/strengths?
Why you?
Why are you leaving your current job?

So on and so fourth.

The interview is suppose to last for two hours. Why me? Hopefully it won't I hate the fake smile on my face - like a cheerleader.

Anywho, I am off so I can be on time.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Good Times

OMG!!

I am going to hurt myself. Anger Mgmt asked me to turn to Good Times and I am amazed at James. His frank and beans are all on display in those tan corderoys. My great aunt would say all his business is hanging out. Man oh man them suckers are tight. I wonder if they had to put powder on him to get the pants on. Oh and do he have any kids?

Wow!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

MP3 versus IPOD

I can careless about name brand items except for my applesauce. Some things have to be name brand. I can only do Motts. I love peanut butter as we discussed before and I have not noticed a big difference in taste between the brands. Moving on from food.

Everyone in my household has some sort of Apple product, shuffle, nano, first generation, and all the others except me and I can care less. I can do all types of stuff with my MP3 player however, I call my player an Ipod. Not because it is one or I want it to be one. Its just because that is what I known them to be before saying MP3 player. I love it because I can play FM radio and all that good stuff.

Conversation with family.

Urban: Anger mgmt pass me my Ipod.
Anger Mgmt: You mean your MP3 player.
Urban: You know what I mean.
Anger Mgmt: No. You said Ipod. Why do you keep calling this thing an Ipod? You know it is a MP3 player.
Urban: So what! Just give it to me. My MP3 player is just as good as ya’ll funky IPOD.
College boy: Mommy, why don’t you stop being cheap and buy you an IPod.
Urban: How am I cheap? Who bought yours? Your sister and brother’s? I believe it was I. I don’t want one! If I want one I could have one. Dang all this because I called it an IPOD.
Anger Mgmt: Yes, because it is not an IPOD. Be proud of your little MP3 player.
Urban: Whatever. Stop hating on my player because it has a FM radio.
College boy: Yeah we are really hating. Especially the fact that you need a battery and we don’t. Darn.
Urban: Man whatever.

They get on my nerves.

Conversation with Mr. Conservative on our way to workout.

Urban: Dag, my IPOD won’t come on. My battery must have run down. Oh wait I got a battery.
Mr. Conservative (smirking): You want to use my IPod.
Urban: No I am good, I told you I took a battery from the remote.

We go running and you know the damn thing didn’t work because the batter was run down. (shut up). We are about to get in the car and I am joking with him.

Urban: You could have let me use your Ipod since you were not using it.
Mr. Conservative: Here we go. I asked you did you want to use it. I thought your “thing” was working?
Urban: Naw, the battery had no juice.
Mr. Conservative: I swear, I am just going to buy you an Ipod that thing you have is crazy.
Urban: Whatever. I like my Ipod.
Mr. Conservative: That is not an Ipod. I wish you would stop calling it that.

I still like my IPOD/MP3 player or whatever the hell I call it. I am so use to saying it, I am trying to be better, but guess what I don’t give a hell. It is whatever I call it damn it and if they want me to have a real one, then damn it they better buy me one because I have invested enough in all their asses.

Step on a crack break your momma back

........or maybe a heel. Remember that old rhyme. I do.....I wonder if kids still do that stuff. Anywho. What it do folks!?!

I truly believe that a crack is what caused my heel to break. This is the second heel I have actually broken and I have had numerous heels almost stripped of its leather due to the cracks in D.C. sidewalks. I always try and look down so I do not step on a crack because your heel will get stuck - at least downtown where I work at anyway. I have never had this problem before working down here or maybe because the heels are skinny now and they can fit through the cracks.

I did not have a second pair of shoes at work because I call myself cleaning house about a month or two ago. Since Mr. Conservative was getting off work I just had him come and pick me up. His ass laughed while I dragged my leg to the car. He told me it look like I was trying to do the Stanky Leg. See how much spousal support I get from him. Gotta love it.