Thursday, February 26, 2009

Conversation between Anger Mgmt, Mr. Stefon and his imaginary friend

Mr. Stefon has an imaginary friend. Actually both of my boys have/had an imaginary friend. Anger Mgmt I guess didn't have time. Anywho, we discovered this a long time ago, because Mr. Stefon would talk to him and guess what his name is? Mr. Stefon. Yup he named the imaginary friend after him. We have asked him why, but he just said that was his name (conceited if you ask me).

Well, we are trying to get Mr. Stefon to pull his weight around the house and that means, starting to do the dishes. The other kids learned earlier, but you know that boy play too much. So we put him in a training program. First week, College boy was suppose to have him help and tell him what to do. He basically didn't let the boy do nothing because he wanted to hurry up and be finished.

Anger Mgmt was not going to let that happen. They fought every night because she made him do basically ALL the work.

We still have dinner at the table as a family. I love it - except when I am at school, bummers.

Anywho, they are at the table and College Boy is talking about Mr. Stefon and not cleaning the counters and stove off.

College Boy: Was you talking to yourself this morning?
Mr. Stefon: No, I was talking to Mr. Stefon.
College Boy & Anger Mgmt: Dang you still talk to him, I thought he was gone.
Mr. Stefon: Well College Boy didn't you have one?
CB: Yeah when I was little.
Anger Mgmt: Well since your imaginary friend still come around, you need to ask him to help you clean up that kitchen.
Mr. Stefon: What? Its not my turn any more.
AM: Well, all I know is, you and your imaginary friend Mr. Stefon better get in there and clean off the stove and counter that is apart of the kitchen, not just the dishes. So you better train him too.
Mr. Stefon: Ma and dad do I have too my week is over.

Lawd, we could not answer the child right away because we were dying!!! Hell yeah he had to do it. I don't know about the other Mr. Stefon but the one who has a room upstairs do.

Monday, February 23, 2009

My crazy day at the doctors

Saturday woke up and felt quite fine. I wrote my post and felt good. Then all hell broke out.

I started noticing red hives starting to appear on my arms. Then I noticed I was scratching my face so I went to look in the mirror and saw all these marks on my face. WTH. So I immediately called Kaiser. One of my BFF said she would go with me to the doctors since Mr. Conservative was at work, but I said naw, he will be at home at 1:45 so I will schedule the appointment after that time. LAWD, I should have went with my friend. I went way down hill!! I started having stomach cramps and diarrhea AND Paula Michelle Smith ass decided to show up too. It was horrible. My husband came home and asked could we get an earlier appointment but by the time we got to everything it would be too late. So, nope had to wait until 4:10.

That is the side of my face.

My beautiful husband said you should take some panties and pants just in case and I just rolled my eyes and looked at him like he was crazy. I am a lady damn it. Well let me tell you about the lady. We are driving half way there I start screaming pull over I have to throw up and he says I can't do it out the window. Now, you know i could not do that so he had to pull over at the next street and I start throwing up, but hold up - WHY MY ASS START CRYING!! OH NO I THINK I AM SHITTING TOO!!! So he asked me did I want to go back home and I said no because I didn't want to miss the appointment and start all over. So we get there I run straight to the damn bathroom and Hallelujah, Thank You JESUS, I didn't. Man oh man I would have been embarrassed.

I waited longer in Kaiser then I did at the ER, I guess because every one and their mama was sick and there was only a few docs which equaled a 1-2 hour wait. I finally get to the back and they see all the bumps immediately knew it was a reaction but didn't do anything right away. I asked could they do something for the diarrhea and the vomiting but nope not until the doctor. I had to get up every couple minutes walk downstairs to a quiet bathroom to handle my business with some dignity. Thank GOD I didn't eat or drink anything all day so it was all water really.

Finally see the doctor and he wants me to go downstairs to get my blood drawn (AGAIN) I told him I had my results from WHC, which he said very good, but I need you to go down and do a urinalysis as well. Oh and before I went he said, I am going to give you a shot for the allergy reaction and a shot to stop the vomiting. I said okay can I get one for the diarrhea and he said no, because we want whatever running through to leave your body, but you need to stop vomiting because of the electrolytes. He then told me that my husband would have to go down with me to get the blood drawn because both meds are going to knock me out.

Man oh man, when she stuck me with the allergy one, I said okay not so bad, but when she stuck me with the anti-vomiting I thought I was going to cry. Big as baby, but I don't care, I don't know how many shots or blood drawn I have got over the weekend.

I go down get my blood drawn, and bam, she got it on the first try after she said Damn, who been playing with your arm. I told her the war stories and she said that a lot of the patients complain about WHC because they aren't really trained to draw the blood. Whatever.

Anywho, had one more violent fit with the stomach and vomiting (after the damn shot) and then I was set. Oh, after I then had to go down and put in my meds and wait AGAIN. I could have handled everything except the stomach cramps, I felt like I was having contractions.

Anywho, got home about 11 p.m. and got in my dang bed and slept.

I am using 3 meds right now, which keeps me sleeping. So sleep is a beautiful thing right now, except for the fact that I have a mid term coming up. But oh well.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Feel like some shit

Hey folks,

I will try and update tomorrow. Yesterday was horrible, however, I am at home and about to be doped up again.

Thanks for all the well wishes.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Guess whose going back to the doctor?

Yup. Me. Remember when I said it was little hives left. Well, they have now spread to my entire body and so I have to GO BACK TO THE FREAKING DAMN DOCTORS!!!!

Guess who was in the ER yesterday?

You guessed it me. Why?

I woke up yesterday morning with a heavy feeling in my chest and back. When I went to bed I had the feeling as well. I figured it was just gas. So, I got up and got ready for work, while I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my hand felt really funny and I felt kind of weak. I decided I needed to go to the doctors but I was going to wait until Mr. Conservative got off from work. I text messaged him and told him what was going on and he told me he was going to leave work and to go ahead and call my doctors office.

I called the advice nurse and was hoping my doctor would tell me to go to the nearest Kaiser (I like their emergency centers), but he said no go to the nearest ER. We were in the ER from 10 - 6, although it seems a long time, it was probably longer for my husband than me, because I was moving every so often. Also, I didn't know they separated two types of patients. One with insurance and one with out insurance. Interesting, I guess it depends on which hospital you go to. Because my mom have heart issues, I decided to go to a hospital that specializes in heart health just in case - Washington Hospital Center.

Well, they take me in the back and have me put on one of those very fashionable robes, but I got to keep my jeans on. The nurse explains that the window is not sealed - which means it is cold as shit in the room, while your half dress. GTFOH. Anywho, I do it and I look at my arms and hands and guess what folks who told me to call my doc for the Angelina lips -I HAD HIVES ALL OVER MY DAMN ARMS - BRIGHT RED. They were not there this morning when I got dressed, they just wanted to show out for the doctor. They gave me benadryl and something else. I felt really good when I left. All my husband was concerned with is that I was walking around with my back and panties showing. I am like dude, I can't tie it right and I can't help they got me wearing this gown and my lace is showing over top of my jeans. How come he came and tied up my gown real tight?

Allergic reaction.

They took a lot of blood and urine. The doctor came back and told me that all the tests came back normal except one. Of course, this is my life, so I knew it would not be that easy. He said one test was elevated and they want to do a chest xray and a CT scan to make sure I do not have blood clots in my lungs. Ya'll I was so damn scared. Which is normal I guess.

The worst part of this whole ordeal was the nurses, techs whatever they were who stuck me to get my blood. I was stuck SIX fucking times, when I only needed to be stuck twice. In their defense I hear I have rolling veins, however, it is never that hard to stick me. I had one nurse stick me twice the first time, she got it right the second time when they put it in my hand. Now that shit hurt. Then, when they determined they wanted a CT Scan, the nurse said they could not use that i.v. because they needed a bigger one. So, I am like great here we go again. A nurse come in sticks me twice, don't get shit and said she had to get another nurse to TRY. So she comes in they all beat the shit out of my arm to try and get something to pop, then she sticks me and keeps pushing the fucking needle. I had to scream to get her to stop and she says, Damn, that one is blown, and oh that's blood. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I would have loved to smack her, but I knew she was going to try again. This time she gets it right, but damn if I was not in pain.

First i.v.

I go get the CT Scan and I must say one more thing about the hospital. There was some fine ass brothers at the hospital. Okay, back to the CT Scan. Me and the brother is chopping it up and he says I am about to flush some saline in your i.v. to make sure its working. I said okay sweetie - (we were flirting the whole time - I'm human, shut up). Why the hell I almost jump off the damn table?!?! He was like I am so sorry, but I had too, and I hate to tell you that when I put the iodine in it is going to hurt worse. Are you serious dude? He said yeah, I am afraid so for 40 seconds - How come he said 40 seconds like that is nothing? That is a long ass time. Then he tried to make me feel better by making me remember while I was there. He said Urban, iodine is thicker then water, so that is why it is going to sting, I have to push this through your vein so it can go through your veins and lighten up you vessels and we can make sure you don't have any blood clots. Oh and your going to feel a very warm sensation in your chest AND its also going to make you feel like your urinating on yourself. GTFOH. I said okay. He said you ready. I said. Yup. It was one of the machines that you stick your whole body in, but the new ones were your not enclosed. Awesome. UNTIL THEY PUT THAT SHIT IN MY ARM.

Let me tell you something. I am a bitch when it comes to pain. Seriously. Babies, I had them all natural, yes ladies no meds. But you know what I could handle that - don't ask me why. But you punch me in my arm, or I get bitten by something. I am ready to fall the fuck out.

How about I let out a animalistic scream when they pushed that shit in my arm! Only my husband has probably heard me make that noise or better yet, the last push of the babies. Well one other time, but this post is too long, I will tell you that another day. Any who, I was making noise the whole 40 seconds and then said to myself, shit my bladder was full, I know he said it will feel like I am peeing, but I won't be, but hell I just wet my damn self and I have no clothes. Shit. Of course I did not, but I ran to the bathroom right after the test.

All in all the end results is I have no blood clots. He said it could be a muscle and told me to do hot packs and motrin - could be a muscle remember my super exercise I was so proud of and had to take tylenol earlier in the week. Anywho, I am doing fine, except for the fact as I am typing this, I notice some hives are starting to develop again, but not all over my body. I am major sore, because of all the sticks and the last one really did it my wrist is swollen, but hey. I got major tests, and although it was an inconvenience, I know that nothing is wrong (cross my hands, eyes, knees and toes AND knocking on wood).

I am suppose to report to my doctor in 5 days, I guess to make sure everything is okay still.

This picture was taken this morning.

Wait the best part. You know I saw plenty shit - hell I observe people. Dude comes in to be seen a lady that works there walks by and he says hey whats up. She said nothing. He said I saw your girl the other day, tell her I said hi. I would call her but she blocked my number, but its all good.

Me and Mr. Conservative looked at each other and died laughing. Dude, you are a bugaboo, I would have blocked your damn number too AND why the hell you telling people. Stupid.

Oh and you know I called my girlfriends and asked who is going to get sick, because all the men are at Washington Hospital Center. Lawd have mercy.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Do you need to get a physical if you go to the GYN?

While I was at work one of my BFF IM'ed me and was so excited about going to the physician and this is the conversation between us.

BFF: My doctor is a hottie and I have to take many tests.

Urban: Um, okay – a physical right? You should.

BFF: Yup, but I must be really special because its 27 tests.

Urban: No, actually it is normal. He is supposed to do blood work on you. Maybe more or less test, but you are SUPPOSE to get a lot done.

BFF: What?

Urban: Um, yeah, I go annually, although, Kaiser thinks you can do it 2-3 years, but for me annually.

BFF:What? I have been going to my GYN faithfully, but not the physician.

Urban: Why not? They are two TOTALLY different doctors.

BFF: Yeah, but I figure they were running the same test.

Urban: WTF. How the hell you figure that one? One is for the vagina and one is for your entire body.

BFF: Well, that is the problem, I have not been to a physician in years because when I originally contacted her (gyn) office I asked did they do physicals and they told me they do everything. So I have not been to any one else.

Urban: Well, that is why your doctor is running all these tests. I mean you are suppose to go to your woman wellness annually, some say 2 years for that, but for me, I go annually. They do the Pap smear and they do the breast exam and some other ish, but my GYN does not take the place of my primary doctor.

I was really shocked when she said this, because she is a very smart girl. Not that intelligence have anything to do with it, but I would assume she was already doing this because when she meets a guy and want to take it to another level, she go and do joint AIDS test with the guy and everything. So, I would think this is a no brainer for her. However, she thought that her GYN could do everything because she said that's what they told her. But like her NEW doctor told her, your GYN is not running the same type of tests, that I am running, she might be checking for some things, but I am going to run tests that are more specific and in depth.

Ladies and gentlemen, please make sure you are going to your doctor annually or whatever is recommended for your age group. Personally, I go annually. Hell, I figure you got the insurance for something you might as well use it. You go to the doctors so they can have historical data on you - that is how you can tell what is normal for you and if things have changed, i.e. gone up/down whatever. Cholesterol, blood pressures and other important tests are being run.

Do you know that high blood pressure is a hidden disease? Most people do not know they have high blood pressure until it is too late, and these diseases can lead to a heart attack, kidney disease, etc. When was the last time you checked your blood pressure? Almost all drug stores or grocery stores have a blood pressure machine. Why don’t you stop by and check your pressure? Write it down and every once in a while check it again. You do not have to do it every day, but you should check.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why the hell are my lips as big as Ange.lina this morning!!!!!

Well not Angelina Jolie, more like the retarded mom with the 14 kids.

I wake up this morning and go to wake up Mr. Stefon and realize my lips feel really big. They are hard to move, so I asked Mr. Stefon do my lips look big and he looks at me and rolls his damn eyes because he is still sleep. So, I ask Anger Mgmt and we all know if we really want the truth, we need to ask a teenager. She looks at me and says, "Why your lips look like Donald Ducks?"

Ya’ll my lips are so freaking big and I figured they would go down, but um no. Mr. Stefon told me when I dropped him off at school, I should practice sucking them in.

Yesterday, I tried a new recipe – orange chicken, but I did not use any new ingredients. I took a Tylenol with codeine because my ass was in pain from a serious, kick ass, exercise workout, but it was nothing newly introduced to my system.

Here I am at work with big pink (my coworker pointed out the pink/red look) soup coolers. I came to work because I know if I stayed home, I will not go to class tonight. I am still hung over from the Tylenol, so I have not taken any Benadryl because I know I will be knocked out, but this shit has NOT gone down.

I text my husband and he told me - do not do anything to them, he might want to try something… Flucker mind always in the gutter, but you know…

Thursday, February 12, 2009


All human beings are, but today I just want to THANK THE MEN OF THE WORLD. All men are not evil, just like all women are not angels. We need to own up to some shit too sometimes. Yes there are some shady characters on both sides.


1 Mitten Down, 1 Mitten to Go

Hey folks,

Here is the finished product. Guess what? Me still no likey, maybe when I get home I will try and block it, but right now - nope.

I will try and take a better picture of the mitten when I go outside, since it will be in the 60's today. A damn shame, well not really, but you D.C. folks know we going to get paid back in full for this early Spring shit.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

KIP: Mitten no thumb

I have plenty to say, but not enough time to write. So, here is a look at the mitten inside out. Oh and I don't like this mitten on my fat ass hands.

P.S. I love this purple on my nails and toes. I'm loving the blues, blacks and purples this season.

Monday, February 09, 2009

My Office Was Trashed

I came to work to this:

Hey, have you been to the fifth floor yet. No. Okay, you need to wait downstairs because your office has been broken into and we are waiting for the finger print people.

We are on the fifth floor and they kicked the door in. They broke into four offices. This amazes me because they did not take my laptop. Flat screen monitor or other computers in our office. When I talked to the maintenance guy, he said they only took a black.berry from another office.

WTF. I have checks in my office and they did not take them. This is so weird to me. Someone said it was probably a crack head. Not buying it. If it was a crack head I would assume they would take a laptop sell it on the street or something. Cash is better, but still. You know you seen hustle man on the corner with a damn girls’ dress he stole from his 4 year old daughter (saw this by the car show this weekend).

This shit is scary to me, we do not know when it happened. I get to work early before the building opens, so I do not like this shit,. I hope that this was it.

Robbers can be crazy though. I remember my husband and ours second apartment was robbed. He took our daughter to daycare and when he returned to the house they broke in and stole dumb shit. For instance, the CORD to the Nintendo 64 and not the damn system. It was as if they had a shopping list. Oh and they stole my husband coat and our perfume and cologne. Crazy.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Booty Call

On Mr. Conservative days off he takes me and the kids to work and school. We also stop at Shitbucks to get our drink on Me, Mr. Conservative and Anger Mgmt – after we drop off Mr. Stefon.

So, he dropped me off and I said see you, love you, bye. Then 15 minutes later after dropping off Anger Mgmt he calls.

I am looking at my work phone like who is calling me so early. Most people know to call my cell phone in the morning (if I had remembered to cut it on).

Me: Good morning, Urban how can I help you?
Mr. Conservative: How come you didn’t come home with me?
Me: (blushing) What?
Mr. Conservative: You heard me. How come you didn’t come home with me?
Me: Oh. I have work to do.
Mr. Conservative: Your ass don’t have no damn work, your going to be surfing the net.
Me: (Laughing) Yes I do.
Mr. Conservative: You don’t love me no more.
Me: (cheesing) What?
Mr. Conservative: Yeah man, that’s messed up.
Me: Well, I can get off at 12, but then you will have to turn around to come back up here to get Mr. Stefon.
Mr. Conservative: Naw, man you need to come home now. We can go out and I can pay College Boy to pick up Mr. Stefon so we can hang out and come back whenever.

Uh, I am not waiting until 12. I am about to bounce, I can wait to do this shit. I looked jacked up this morning, so if he is still feeling me coming home while I look like a ragamuffin.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Are movies suppose to be interactive?

This weekend I saw three movies. Notorious, Taken and Bride Wars. They all were okay, but I need to talk about one movie in particular or shall I say the people who came to the movie.

I started out wrong and went to Gall.ery Pl.ace. A nice movie theatre, stadium seats, good mix of a crowd, unless the hood is in the house. I normally go out to VA to get my movie fix on but she did not want to go to VA and since it was my husband aunt, I let her win, since she don’t go to the movies often.

We went to get some food first. I wanted some Sushi, she no likey sushi. We decided to go to this other Tapas place I can’t remember the name. Which is a good thing that shit was nasty. The best thing was their Sangria, now THAT was the bomb (not better than Mr. Conservative’).

Back to the movie. I am hyped, could not wait to see the movie, although I figured I would watch it by other means – you dig.

I had everything with me, let’s look at the list.

Drink – check
Popcorn – check
Skittles – check
Middle seat, in middle row – check

Everything going sweet, I got the head bob going, smiling and shit because THIS IS MY SHIZZNIT!! UNTIL, the shit got interactive. How about homeboy behind us wanted to be Biggie. All of a sudden, I hear – “Who the fuck is this, paging me 5:46 in the morning, crack a dawn in…… How come he didn’t stop singing? He was loud ya’ll, I mean, wanted to let everyone know he knew the song. I mean the whole theater head was bobbing, but THIS fool had to sing. I am like damn, okay, we know you know the words but come on. Man, he didn’t stop. Suicidal Thoughts, my all time favorite this mutherfucker is SINGING. I am like, dude this is not a sing a long, watch the fucking movie. He did this the whole movie – well up until about 30 minutes before the movie was over because he already saw that part, so he bounced. What was really crazy is he was with another dude, and even he told him to shut the hell up. I mean, are we serious, we can sing a long with the movies now. Ugh.

The movie was okay. I loved the fact, that if you looked around, everyone WAS doing the head bob. Oh and Derek Luke got Diddy on lock. I thought only Jamie Foxx did a good Diddy, but um, yeah Derek – get it. As much as I LOVE Biggie, and have him in heavy rotation faithfully, I still don’t get the attraction, Charlie Baltimore, Lil’Kim, Faith. I LOVE to laugh and you can get close to my heart and my …. that way, but um, in the favorite words of Aunty Whitney – HELL TO THE NAW!!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

KIP: Irish Hiking Scarf

I started knitting this in December during my school break. I actually got really far with two balls and then stopped and started reading and some other stuff. I hope to get back to it soon.