You guessed it me. Why?
I woke up yesterday morning with a heavy feeling in my chest and back. When I went to bed I had the feeling as well. I figured it was just gas. So, I got up and got ready for work, while I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my hand felt really funny and I felt kind of weak. I decided I needed to go to the doctors but I was going to wait until Mr. Conservative got off from work. I text messaged him and told him what was going on and he told me he was going to leave work and to go ahead and call my doctors office.
I called the advice nurse and was hoping my doctor would tell me to go to the nearest Kaiser (I like their emergency centers), but he said no go to the nearest ER. We were in the ER from 10 - 6, although it seems a long time, it was probably longer for my husband than me, because I was moving every so often. Also, I didn't know they separated two types of patients. One with insurance and one with out insurance. Interesting, I guess it depends on which hospital you go to. Because my mom have heart issues, I decided to go to a hospital that specializes in heart health just in case - Washington Hospital Center.
Well, they take me in the back and have me put on one of those very fashionable robes, but I got to keep my jeans on. The nurse explains that the window is not sealed - which means it is cold as shit in the room, while your half dress. GTFOH. Anywho, I do it and I look at my arms and hands and guess what folks who told me to call my doc for the Angelina lips -I HAD HIVES ALL OVER MY DAMN ARMS - BRIGHT RED. They were not there this morning when I got dressed, they just wanted to show out for the doctor. They gave me benadryl and something else. I felt really good when I left. All my husband was concerned with is that I was walking around with my back and panties showing. I am like dude, I can't tie it right and I can't help they got me wearing this gown and my lace is showing over top of my jeans. How come he came and tied up my gown real tight?
They took a lot of blood and urine. The doctor came back and told me that all the tests came back normal except one. Of course, this is my life, so I knew it would not be that easy. He said one test was elevated and they want to do a chest xray and a CT scan to make sure I do not have blood clots in my lungs. Ya'll I was so damn scared. Which is normal I guess.
The worst part of this whole ordeal was the nurses, techs whatever they were who stuck me to get my blood. I was stuck SIX fucking times, when I only needed to be stuck twice. In their defense I hear I have rolling veins, however, it is never that hard to stick me. I had one nurse stick me twice the first time, she got it right the second time when they put it in my hand. Now that shit hurt. Then, when they determined they wanted a CT Scan, the nurse said they could not use that i.v. because they needed a bigger one. So, I am like great here we go again. A nurse come in sticks me twice, don't get shit and said she had to get another nurse to TRY. So she comes in they all beat the shit out of my arm to try and get something to pop, then she sticks me and keeps pushing the fucking needle. I had to scream to get her to stop and she says, Damn, that one is blown, and oh that's blood. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I would have loved to smack her, but I knew she was going to try again. This time she gets it right, but damn if I was not in pain.
I go get the CT Scan and I must say one more thing about the hospital. There was some fine ass brothers at the hospital. Okay, back to the CT Scan. Me and the brother is chopping it up and he says I am about to flush some saline in your i.v. to make sure its working. I said okay sweetie - (we were flirting the whole time - I'm human, shut up). Why the hell I almost jump off the damn table?!?! He was like I am so sorry, but I had too, and I hate to tell you that when I put the iodine in it is going to hurt worse. Are you serious dude? He said yeah, I am afraid so for 40 seconds - How come he said 40 seconds like that is nothing? That is a long ass time. Then he tried to make me feel better by making me remember while I was there. He said Urban, iodine is thicker then water, so that is why it is going to sting, I have to push this through your vein so it can go through your veins and lighten up you vessels and we can make sure you don't have any blood clots. Oh and your going to feel a very warm sensation in your chest AND its also going to make you feel like your urinating on yourself. GTFOH. I said okay. He said you ready. I said. Yup. It was one of the machines that you stick your whole body in, but the new ones were your not enclosed. Awesome. UNTIL THEY PUT THAT SHIT IN MY ARM.
Let me tell you something. I am a bitch when it comes to pain. Seriously. Babies, I had them all natural, yes ladies no meds. But you know what I could handle that - don't ask me why. But you punch me in my arm, or I get bitten by something. I am ready to fall the fuck out.
How about I let out a animalistic scream when they pushed that shit in my arm! Only my husband has probably heard me make that noise or better yet, the last push of the babies. Well one other time, but this post is too long, I will tell you that another day. Any who, I was making noise the whole 40 seconds and then said to myself, shit my bladder was full, I know he said it will feel like I am peeing, but I won't be, but hell I just wet my damn self and I have no clothes. Shit. Of course I did not, but I ran to the bathroom right after the test.
All in all the end results is I have no blood clots. He said it could be a muscle and told me to do hot packs and motrin - could be a muscle remember my super exercise I was so proud of and had to take tylenol earlier in the week. Anywho, I am doing fine, except for the fact as I am typing this, I notice some hives are starting to develop again, but not all over my body. I am major sore, because of all the sticks and the last one really did it my wrist is swollen, but hey. I got major tests, and although it was an inconvenience, I know that nothing is wrong (cross my hands, eyes, knees and toes AND knocking on wood).
I am suppose to report to my doctor in 5 days, I guess to make sure everything is okay still.
This picture was taken this morning.
Wait the best part. You know I saw plenty shit - hell I observe people. Dude comes in to be seen a lady that works there walks by and he says hey whats up. She said nothing. He said I saw your girl the other day, tell her I said hi. I would call her but she blocked my number, but its all good.
Me and Mr. Conservative looked at each other and died laughing. Dude, you are a bugaboo, I would have blocked your damn number too AND why the hell you telling people. Stupid.
Oh and you know I called my girlfriends and asked who is going to get sick, because all the men are at Washington Hospital Center. Lawd have mercy.