Monday, December 13, 2010

Hello life is that you?

Dang its been a minute!!

I missed writing and sharing but heck life was calling and I had no caller id so I picked up. I am finished another semester of school and I have one more to go. Go me!!

I figured the only way to get back into writing is to jump right in.

Until the next post……

Saturday, August 21, 2010

College Boy is 21!!!

I am so excited!!! My beautiful baby boy is a grown arse man, but I still see him as my little baby. He turned 21 today and he is having a sleepover for his bday. Him and his friends are playing video games. I swear he is stuck at 16, which is okay as long as he is close by his momma - oh and not in the house at 35 writing his name on the OJ.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

I am so glad they hired you!! What? GTFOH!

This is what the receptionist told me Friday. She gets a big CHILD PUHLEASE!!

I so wish I blog when I am suppose to because there are so many stories to tell with layers and I hate when I don’t blog and something else happens.

Anywho let me tell you the story from the beginning.

Part 1: My arrival

I get to work and no one is there to open the door. For some reason on Monday’s the place is locked up like a fort after the weekend after that we can use our passcodes and get in. Well homegirl is the only one with a key. So we have to wait for her because she is the ONLY one with a key except other directors who of course don’t come to work that early.

Then when she does arrive we are all met (the five people who had to wait for her who were on time).

At the end of my first day I told my good girlfriends and husband that homie was gonna be a problem. I can just tell. I got that vibe from her straight off the top but whatever.

Part II: Hazing/Disrespect

I was given my telephone and office extension on day two, but yet did not have a voicemail set up and they had me hit the ground running on my first day so when people called me back they had to talk to her - the um, what is her title again, the um, RECEPTIONIST and leave messages with her. So, let me set the stage, I am on the phone conducting business with a potential employee and she enters my office and says - Do you know your extension? If not it is x25! All I could do at that point was give her evil stare down because 1. I am on the phone, 2. I am conducting business and I really don’t have time so I let it slide.


As, I told you before we have a passcode to get into our office, however, our doors are glass so if someone comes up that is not apart of the business she has the POWER to buzz you in and she uses her powers for her own good. Okay, so it’s my third day. I go to the bathroom and I come back and this hussy sees me struggling to put in the code so I knock on the glass and she rolls her eyes and lets me in. Mind you she is on the phone do you know she SIGHS loudly (must be a personal call) and says to me and she SUCKS HER TEETH - I mean do you know the passcode?

Urban: (sick and tired at this point) NO I do not. Do I have the code? Yes I do. Do I know it by heart? No I don’t. Will I know it by heart? One day AND TODAY IS NOT THE DAY!!

Ya’ll it took all of me not to curse her ass out this was my damn third day! Biatch puhlease. I am like are you serious. I had to go in my office and walk around in circles to stop from coming out there. It was the first day I had to closed my door for a minute because I know I can go there if you take me and I wasn’t trying to go there.

Part III: BFFs- we are bestest

I went to her the next day and said can we talk when you have a moment.

Idiot: Why? Um, okay.
Urban: Okay, so what are your policies for the front?
Idiot: Huh
Urban: You know - rules and regulations.
Idiot: (trying to play dumb or was she…..) What do you mean rules and regulations? I’m not understanding.
Urban: Well, when I use to be at the front I use to have policies and procedures or a way I wanted to conduct things.
Idiot: Ohhh that….

I couldn’t stop her from talking then. I knew it was a power issue with her but it was so stupid and do you know she told another coworker. I didn’t know about the new girl at first because we had a disagreement but she is cool now.

Um, what planet is she on? WE didn’t have a issue. YOU had an issue. But whatever.

Part III: I betta watch my back - I mean, I’m glad you were hired.

She now talks to me everyday (go me) and now when she coming towards the door, before I can put my passcode in she buzz me in. Go figure. While I was getting my mail she says…….

BFF: Can I tell you I am so happy you are here.
Urban: Oh really.
BFF: Yes. I gotta tell you though. I told someone that I wasn’t sure about the new girl.
Urban: (funny how she left out the part about the disagreement but whatever) Why?
BFF: You were so quiet. You just come in and work and I like that.
Urban: Oh okay thank you. I am glad I was hired for the position.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO? People kill me with that. I didn’t say much because I was sitting back observing. Sorry, I don’t give my life story to everyone only my blog buddies and friends.

Ain’t that some crapola. Have ya’ll ever dealt with stuff like that. Crazy

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

G.O.D is good!

All the time!!

Yes! yes ya'll. How ya'll doing? Man oh man if you know the year I had!! If someone would have told me I would be living the life I am living now I would say maybe not because I have been through so, so , SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much this past year which we will get into much later. Sorry I haven't written but I am trying to be a good employee by not blogging at work. Kinda hard for me anyway being in a place that I am sure have a tracking damn device on my computer. Okay, I said I will talk about that later.

Anywho. I had a meeting this past Friday and I presented and did a great job. After the meeting I went back to the office and went to the bank to cash my check (I can't get direct deposit for 90 days WTF). Wait, let me back track. I went to my coworker office and was talking with him. Left his office went back to my office and saw my money on the floor. How the heck that happen? I pick up my money and put it in my pants pocket grab my ATM card (from another bank), my id and my money and put it. Go to the bank downstairs deposit my money and leave. As I am walking back to my job. This dude in a truck is blowing the horn at me and I am like "child bye" and keep it moving. I go to the store and get a soda. Go in my pocket. I have only my ID. No money and no ATM card. I go running out the store to go back to the bank to see if I left my money in the bank. As I walk (sprint) towards the bank the guy in the truck walks up to me and says, "here is your money, that is why I was blowing my horn." I thanked him and asked him did he see my atm card and he said no. So, I go back to the bank and I am wondering should I butt in line or just wait my turn. A worker came up to me and asked me if she could help and I told her I wanted to speak to the gentleman and ask him did I leave my card up there by him, it will not be from their bank. Right after I made that statement, a guy comes in the bank looks at me and says, "did anyone lose their atm card." I scream out ME!! I go and get it and he says, "it was laying on the ground. I heard you talking to the guy and I picked it up and bought it in here." I offered to buy him lunch or to give him money and he would not hear of it. Note to self, them pants pockets are not deep enough and bring your purse next time instead of trying to be fast!!!

I felt like I was on cloud nine Friday. Still do actually, because I made a couple poems a couple months ago when I asked God "why me" I might post it like I meant to do, but since I don't feel the same way (for now) who knows.

It's amazing, because my thoughts about humanity early in the day was really negative and at the end of the day I have a different perspective because of this.

All I could think about was G.O.D is good. Not one stranger but two strangers, of different races gave me back possessions when they could have taken it and done what they want with it.

Anywho, maybe this might change your mind about humanity a little bit, or shall I say, give a little hope to a better place/world.

BTW, I lost my phone early in the week and got that back too. Clumsy and forgetful the past week for whatever reason, but thank goodness for those Angels or whatever you want to call it.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Money cannot buy happiness!!!!

Money can not buy happiness. Whoever said that ain’t never lied. I made a statement on this blog and with my family and friends that if I didn’t find a job in my field by the time I graduate from school I would take a price cut if I had to. to get into my field. Yeah right!! Easier said then done. I figured I would chill and take my time while I searched for the perfect job. WRONG! I was not trying to live without that money.

Well, when people work your everlasting nerves you do what you have to do. I spoke to my family and friends and they thought I was crazy and just needed a vacation. It got to the point where I was moping at home. I spoke to my husband and he said we will make it as we always do. He knew I was unhappy. Gotta love him.

So, my real search began. No more just sending out a couple here or there and no more just waiting for the right job.

What bought this on you asked? My relationship with my boss went straight down hill. I couldn’t tolerate him any more. He wasn’t doing anything different really when I look back on it except for the fact that he raised his voice at me twice and even though he does this with other folks sometimes it was not going to happen to me. The first time. I looked at him and told him, um, it seems like you need some time by yourself to gather yourself because I KNOW your not talking to me, buzz me when your ready. WTF.

The second time, we had a serious blown up fight. I mean, he came in my office and then started talking smack to me in MY office and of course I am sitting down and he is standing over top of me! Ur, that’s a big NO Ma’am. I’m not the one and then he closed the door. Um, okay are you sure your ready for what’s gonna happen when that door closes. We went at it like we were crazy. Then at the end he tried to be my friend. Don’t talk to my like your crazy and then try and apologize and expect for me to still be your friend, No bro it doesn’t work that way.

Well, let me tell you something. Urban might smile, and say she forgive when you give a stank ass, half apology, but she don’t forget shizznit. I know for a fact that apology was garbage so I gave him one of my special letters the next day. You know I love my letters. He didn’t see it coming at all and we had another meeting where he apologized again, but for me the relationship was DONE!!

Anywho, as I told my mother and friends who didn’t believe me when I told them I would take less money if the right thing came along. There is nothing like PEACE or HAPPINESS. They told me I was being emotional and that I had a good job (um what?) and that I just need a vacation. I know/knew what I need and I now have it.

I don’t miss one red cent…….yet. I do miss my benefits, this job is cheap as hell, but is expensive with knowledge. I can’t wait to start telling you about this job. It’s two kinds of crazy but I love it to pieces.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

100 Degrees

Did I just read that right? I am looking at the weather and I believe I just saw the weather report and it stated 100 degrees today and tomorrow! Well, I do not have my contacts on so I might have misread it.

However, if it will be 100 degrees what the hell am i going to wear except skin to work? Ew, I just saw a vision of myself walking outside and that's not a good look. I would scratch my own minds eye out. Vomit.

If your happy and you know it clap your hands

Hey ya’ll. How the heck are you? I guess the only way to get back into this blog thing is to just get back into it.

I am so happy right now. This passed year has been so crazy. I had so many ups and downs that it is not even funny. There were times when I really thought I was losing my damn mind. I am so happy to be in a better place. I have a new job that I love and I passed my certification this week so I now have my letters behind my name. I guess I really shouldn't’t expect for you to know exactly what I am talking about since I have not written in a while. I took my Professional Human Resource (PHR) exam this past Tuesday and felt like I suffered three heart attacks while doing so. I almost cried during the exam because I felt like I didn’t remember anything at all but when I hit the last button and it said congratulations I had to ask the warden, I mean testing assistant to look at my screen and if it was real. Sounds crazy, but I was numb after four hours. She said, yes lady you passed be happy!

Now I can get back to living my life, no more studying right now. I can finally read, go to the movies or something. At least enjoy the rest of the summer before school starts again.

I have so many crazy stories to tell you.

My fourth of July was crazy. As usual we had everyone over and this year that totaled over fifty people in a teeny, tiny yard, but hey, family, friends, vittles, and spirits are always awesome together. Enough about me. How was your fourth?

Um, its 4 in the morning and after 4th of July. Why are folks still lighting fireworks? I mean seriously at 4! GTFOH. Oh well I guess I better get ready for work.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

I am having a wonder 36 birthday weekend. I am at the Maryland Wine Festival living it up. Watching folk fall the slam out. Hi Maggie. To all my lurkers come on out and say Happy Bday!! Thanks again for all the congratulations. Another year yalll. Okay gotta go Mr. Conservative is complaining about me texting.

Friday, May 14, 2010


I got the job! I got the job!! Happy dance now!!

I have a lot to post about this one but it will have to be later.

I got the job!!! Pre-bday gift since my birthday is tomorrow. I might even be nice and buy my daddy something since his bday is, maybe not. Okay, good karma..

Doing the Cabbage Patch!! Happy Feet and the Wop!! WHAT!!

Thanks for the prayers and good luck fam.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Second Interview

Wish me luck. I have a second interview with this company today. I really like the company and the challenges. I will let you know how everthing goes.


Friday, May 07, 2010

Family Mediator: That dress is too short!

When did I sign up to be the mediator in the family(and friends)? Tired.

I explained in a previous post that the kids use me to be the mediator with their dad. Again, I know why. He is a major lecturer, no one has time for that, and he yells at the little stuff. Me on the other hand will listen first and then lay the smack down. I can see issues from both sides but my hubby, um not so much. His ass is like GUILTY before you even start talking. Anywho, I am the mediator with him and the kids too.

Background: Anger Mgmt spilled gel all in her purse. We turn back around so she can change her bag. We get back to the house and instead of pulling all the way into the garage where it is dark; we let her walk in the house. Why lawd? Girlfriend had a shirt on. That sucker was not a dress.

Mr. Conservative: MAN, WTF, that shit is too short.
Mr. Stefon: Yes, it is daddy. You sure she going to school with that thang on? (Instigator).
Mr. Conservative: Did you see that? You see her dress.
Urban: (my head was down, but I lifted it up just in time to see nothing but legs) I just saw it my head was down. Tell her to change.
Mr. Conservative: Man that dress is so short.
Urban: Okay, why are you telling me. Tell her to change her shirt.
Mr. Conservative: No because the last time I said something you were in agreement with what she had on.
Urban: What? Are you crazy? That was one time, the outfit was not too short, AND that does not mean she gets to wear any ole thing. You have been saying something. Just call and tell her to change or something.
Mr. Conservative: I am not calling her.
Urban: (pissed) This is so stupid! Why am I the mediator in this family? Everyone has a problem they come to me. This is just ridiculous. Mr. Stefon goes in the house and tells your sister to either put jeans/tights on under that dress OR change all together. RIDAMNDICULOUS. That was so easy.
Mr. Stefon: Ma, you mean shirt because that is not a dress.
Urban: Do what I asked you and stop trying to get people in trouble!

JE.SUS CHRI.ST Work aint hard. Dang. I swear sometimes.

I also had a talk with her this week in reference to the skimpy crap. I told her I needed to talk with her and she of course did not want to but I told her…

Urban: I understand you are this fashionista, you are keeping up with the styles, and boys are probably starting to notice you but trust you do not have to show everything. I notice your hemline is getting smaller and smaller. Let’s keep it classy.
Anger Mgmt: I was not doing it for any boys. (She still wants me to believe no one has taken notice of her – yeah okay)
Urban: Beside the point. Did you hear me and do you understand?
Anger Mgmt: Yes ma’am.
Urban: Cool.

My husband thinks he is slick. He just don't want to be seen as the bad guy (which he already is) with her because that is his hanging partner. Since she was a dang on baby he has been saying what she can and can not wear. Its a running joke with my friends and family. When we use to go shopping and we picked out something they would be like - you know Mr. Conservative and College boy will not let her wear that. Because her oldest brother is the same way. But whatever she came out the house with different clothes on and she didn't say anything (better not have). Now she could be like her aunt and have the same clothes in her bag to change back into at school........

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

They Got Dealt With

My daughter softball team kicked booty yesterday!!

I was so proud of the ladies because the other team called them out. Evidently, if your the number one team, you can go downtown and request to play a team.

They thought we would be caught slipping. Our team has been champions the past couple of years and majority of the seniors graduated.

WELL, they got dealt with!! We opened up a can of whip ass and gave them their first lost of the season. It was such a good game. The bats where popping and the ladies were catching balls, and hustling after every ball, which I was happy to see because sometimes, just sometims... Yeah. Anyway,freaking awesome.

Who dat, who dat, who dat, who....!!!


Today, I took off work to go and see Mr. Stefon play Rugby. I have been working, school and everything and have missed out. So I need to get back on track.....Sunday is Mother's Day. I need to get back in the running for Mother of the Year some how. Don't judge me...

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

I Need Your Help

Okay. I don't know what I did many moons ago with the settings on blogger, or if it is just me, but I can't respond to some folks email.

People will leave a comment and when I hit reply it says no reply. Sometimes, I can still reply because I have old emails from when I was able to reply via blogger.

Do anyone no what my low/no tech self is trying to say and if so do you know of a solution? I feel bad not replying sometimes, but I can't. Boohoo me.

Puhlease help with any suggestions.


Mr. Stefon: Lucky as h.ell Part 2

Saturday, the family decided to go to I.Hop for breakfast. We had a great time. When we got back I chilled on the sofa because I had the itis which is unusual for me because I am not a big breakfast eater.

Mr. Conservative goes upstairs and starts yelling. Boy I told you to stop leaving this crap laying around I just stepped on it.

Mr. Stefon comes flying down the stairs with a BIG ASS GRIN on his face holding the I.po.d To.uch. Cheesing like a mofo. I mean this boy is super excited. He then said, mommy you know what let me go see something. Goes back upstairs and low and behold he has the dang phone too. I swear.

I am so happy and relieved he found it because I was so touched by his little crying face that I was trying to find a reason to buy him a new one without rewarding him somehow. Didn't figure that one out and thank goodness I won't have to.

My girlfriend wish I would have told Mr. Conservative so we could have kept it a little longer to teach him a lesson. I told her if he didn't learn from this scare he never will. Plus, he is still a kid he will lose plenty more.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Mr. Stefon: A hard head makes a soft arse! Part 1

Let me set the stage.

Mr. Conservative and I come home. When we get up the steps, Mr. Stefon is staring at me with desperate eyes. I am wondering what’s the matter, but I leave it alone. He waits for his father to go up the second set of stairs and he is watching the steps and whispering…..

Mr. Stefon: Ma can I talk to you for a minute.
Urban: Yes, what?
Mr. Stefon: Not over here, can you come over here.
Urban: Why? Just tell me.
Mr. Stefon: (starts walking towards the dining room) Over here mommy, just real quick.
Urban: (it’s obvious to me he don’t want his father to hear) Oh lawd, did you get suspended from school or something?
Mr. Stefon: No. Nothing like that. Just go in the kitchen with me please.
Urban: NO. Look boy just tell me your father can’t hear you.
Mr. Stefon: Mommy, we had a basketball game at school and we went to watch the game, Ms. Teacher told us to come on and I left my jacket when the game was over I went back in the class and my phone was gone. I told dad and he cancelled the service.
Urban: Okay, well its taken care of you know you need to be responsible but it is what it is.
Mr.Stefon: No mom, this is the thing my…..IPO.D was in my pocket too and now its gone. I didn’t tell dad yet.
Urban: WHAT!!!
Mr. Stefon: I know Ma. What can you do to get it back?
Urban: What can I do? Not a damn thing. Kiss it good-bye because you should not have bought it to school. I told you not to bring it. You always think you know better then us and now you will experience the pain of not listening. A hard head makes a soft ass.
Mr. Stefon: But the teacher said she was going to lock the door.
Urban: I don’t give a damn. It doesn’t make sense. You worked hard and saved your money for that IPOD and now it is gone. Why did you have it at school? Why would you leave it upstairs?
Mr. Stefon: I know mommy. I can’t believe it’s gone. Why did I have to be so stupid? (at this point he is hitting his self in the head, turning red and crying like someone stole something-which they did).
Urban: Well I’ll call your teacher on Monday. But I believe it’s gone.
Mr. Stefon: I am going to go upstairs and look in my room.
Urban: Why? You just said it was in your pocket.
Mr. Stefon: I know. But can’t I still have hope. Please don’t tell dad yet. (my kids favorite line)

I was so proud of him when he bought his IP.OD T.ouch because he said he was going to buy one and he saved his birthday and Xmas money to get it and he got it. He was so happy too. He kept saying I told you mommy I was going to get it, you all didn’t believe me. Well….looka here. I did feel sorry for him, because I knew how hard he worked. But… it is what it is.

Same night watching t.v. Mr. Stefon and I on the couch.
Mr. Stefon: Mommy
Urban: What?
Mr.Stefon: What do you think dad is going to do?
Urban: Nothing. We didn’t buy it, it was your money and I think you have experienced enough heartache and pain.
Mr. Stefon: When do you think I should tell him?
Urban: Soon I guess. I will be there with you if you want.
Mr. Stefon: I want to tell him not too soon, but I don’t want to wait too long either.
Urban: Well, why don’t we wait until Monday after I talk to your teacher or see if someone will return it. The good thing is your IP.od has a code on it and they can’t open it, so make an announcement that you will give whoever “finds” your I.Pod T.ouch you will give them $30.00 and keep it moving.
Mr. Stefon: I am tired and want to go to sleep.
Urban: Well go to sleep.
Mr. Stefon: I can't because I know all I will do is dream about it.

Poor thing, as much as I felt sorry for him it was funny too but of course I didn't laugh in front of him.

My kids are so scared of their damn father and always have me as the mediator. All he will do is lecture them to damn death. I think I would rather take a beating then to hear him talk about the same thing over and over and over. He forgets nothing this boy will be 38 and he will still talk about when he was 11 and lost his I.pod T.ouch


I's free now!!

Can't believe school is over!! At least until August. I am still debating if I should at least take one or two summmer classes. I only have 4 classes left and if I take the summer classes I can be done by the end of this year but um, my mind is FRIED and I can use the rest big time. The only thing left for me to do is take one more Saturday class for a certification test I am taking in June.

The last couple months has been crazy with work and school I couldnt tell if I was coming or going. I just completed another audit at work and it was CRAZY. So crazy that I had to hem my boss up. It was not a good look, but we have an understanding now.

Anywho, wanted to say hi and I plan on just jumping back in here like I was never gone. I can't wait to see what you all been up to.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Weekend Update

This weekend was a wonderful weekend.

Friday – Anniversary Dinner

The evening started off a little bad. I took my dress out the bag and it smelled FUNKY. I mean seriously. Thank God I had some dryer clothes, put it in the dryer for 10 minutes and it was all good. The dinner was quite nice. I loved the view, my husband and the food was lovely. I guess it was a matter of one of those things were everyone tells you the restaurant it is really good and you have high expectations and then it’s not all that. Well that is how we felt especially after spending a whole heap of money but it was our anniversary and we knew it was going to be very expensive and we only went $18 over our budget and that was all good. The view was really, nice and romantic, but for real, for real. I could have went to Long Horn and got a comparable steak minus atmosphere. Oh and you know I have this thing with bathrooms. I HAVE to go and check out the bathroom when I go out to restaurants. Well let me tell you, they need to take that crap somewhere because they need to do better. I think they need to consult with the Ritz Carlton because for the type of money we spent they need to come correct with that tired ass bathroom.

Anger Mgmt took her softball pictures Friday and Mr. Stefon went to a church lock in. The kids stay overnight they talk about the Bible and other stuff and then later on the next day they took them to do laser tag. I thought that was nice, they sure aint do stuff like that when I was younger.

Saturday – Movies

Mr. Conservative and I went to see Brooklyn Finest. I like the movie thought it was going to end a little different but it was all good. I cannot wait for it to come on DVD because folks do not know how to go to the movies. Either I am getting old or something is going on. People do not know for some reason that they are NOT supposed to have conversations in the movie. I swear I wanted to turn around and snatch the lady behind me “illegal” bag she bought into the movie theater and fling it! I mean seriously you know your ass is making noise with that damn thing and then the kicking of the chair and shit. Mr. Conservative turned to me and said I am serious I am trying not to say anything…. I thought I did a post on movie etiquette but another coming soon. Oh and it is mad love/sexing scenes in this movie how come I saw so many kids. I mean SERIOUS sex scenes. I felt sad for the parents. Nevertheless, I can tell you the best part of the movie. RICHARD MOFO GERE. Let me tell you there is something about a man who ages like fine red wine. Man its so many things that I would do to him, I mean like read him a book and stuff…..

Anger Mgmt went to see The Crazies or something. She said it was good, but I have no clue.

Sunday – Rest

I worked out to the Wii Active, made some chicken quesadillas, washed and dried clothes (not fold yet) and slept from 1 pm to 6 pm, Sunday dinner got started late, but it was much needed rest. Dang that sleep felt good.

Well I am off the rest of the week from school because it is Spring break but makes no difference, I still have to study to take this exam to get letters behind my name and I have a team project to do.

How was your weekend?

Friday, March 05, 2010

Our Anniversary

Hey ya’ll. I really am trying to do better, but I had two papers due this week and two presentations. I will get it together. I miss my bestest (um, yes I know its not a word) blog friends.

Tuesday was my wedding anniversary!! I told that man he stole my youth and body birthing them babies!! Sike I can’t blame them kids for nothing I got back down to my size I just ate every damn thing after the fact.

I got my freakum dress, got my nails done and hair did and we are going to RuthChris tonight. He do not know about my dress so I can’t wait to surprise him. Its hard to believe sometimes that we have been together for 18 years. That’s a long, long ass time. Check out this conversation on Tuesday………………..

Urban: Why are you looking at me like that? You trying to kill me?
Mr. Conservative: No, why would you something like that.
Urban: The same thing you use to ask me when I watched you sleep.
Mr. Conservative: Its different for me you and your daughter be watching Snapped I don’t know what you two might do.
Urban: Whatever, trust and believe I aint doing time for your ass um kay.
Mr. Conservative: Whatever.
Urban: OH SNAP!! Happy Anniversay.
Mr. Conservative: It’s not our anniversary. It’s tomorrow.
Urban: Are you sure. It’s a damn shame I don’t know for sure but I thought the 2nd and not the 3rd . Hell you know better then me. How many years is it now? I can’t remember because we been together longer and I don’t count the wedding date. So how many years have it been?
Mr. Conservative: (shakes his head) Three years. We bought the house in ’06 and we got married ’07. Damn 3 years.
Urban: Yup you right.

I know, I know we are trifling but who cares that’s my baby. Anywho, I was right though it is the damn 2nd because the 3rd was on a Saturday in 2007. SO he gets one point for knowing the years and I get a point for knowing the right day even if I really didn’t know the day I just wanted to be first to say it and since his ass was staring at me while I was sleep I figured he was looking at me because of the anniversary. Whatever.

Family update coming soon……hopefully. Until then please listen to Jilly from Philly kill this song!!! READ the words as well. Just cause you married don't mean your not independent, but at the same time I got to remember......I need that man of mine.

The Fact Is I Need You

I can pay my own light bill baby
pump my own gas in my own car
I can pay my own shoe collection
I've been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
although it's hard because I'm scared
I can even stain and polyurethane (I’m very handy)
But some things just don't change
I need you
Sometimes so hard to say
I need you
Some things remain
I can buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
but I need you to help him be a man
We need you
Some things don't change
I could be congresswoman or a garbage woman
or police officer or a carpenter
I could be a doctor and a lawyer
and a mother and a 'good God what chu
done to me?' kind of lover I can be
I could be a computer analyst
The queen with the nappy hair raising her fist
or I could be much more and a myraid of this
Hot as the summer
Sweet as the first kiss
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
And even though I can do all these things
We need you
(and you need us too!)

PREACH JILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Um,okay. I know I have been gone got too many stories as usual but do not know how to jump back into this posting thing. Soooooo..... I decided to do one of my favorite posts.

Why don't you ask me a question and I will answer?

Thursday, February 04, 2010

FO: Everlasting Bagstopper

Pattern: Everlasting Bagstopper by Amy Singer (free on Ravelry)

Yarn: Lion Brand Cotton Ease
Needles: Size 5 and 10 1/2

If you all can remember, I did a post about Eastern Market many moons ago because it caught on fire and I was heart broken(can't find the post). The city was good about making a little farmers market across the street from the original while it was being reconstructed. Thank goodness the building was built in 1873 or it probably would have had to be built from scratch. The building opened back up in July with a lot of hoopla but I did not want to attend. I didn't think it would be the same or hold the same ambiance.

Well, one of my best girlfriends and I was talking and she was saying how expensive veggies and fruit was (she is thinking of becoming a vegetarian) and I was telling her to go to the market and she was like what market? She has never been to the market. I just could not believe it. I told her she has no excuse, because she grew up in D.C. – well since she was maybe 7 or 8, she is originally from Romania.

Anyway, I decided it was my duty as a friend to take her and I would surprise her with a bag. I saved this pattern in March 2007 or 2008 and can't believe it took me this long to make it. Very easy and quick knit. I made it in November/December. Well, I found the right time, reason and stash yarn to do it.

She LOVES the bag, however she thinks it is too cute to put fruits and veggies in it. I explained to her its sturdy and cotton. I had to beg her to do it and we were actually fighting in the middle of the street so I could take the dang on picture with her using it. I swear. Oh and why is she one of my best friends? She asked me was I practing for my 80's!! Gotta love her. If you can make me laugh we straight.

SEE!! I have been knitting! I have plenty finished and ugh projects just lazy as heck to post. Before I got the last two pictures are the same. They are trees behind my house the first is the natural one without the correction.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Who didn't know

Your ass was the father of that damn child John Edwards.

I seriously don't think it is the public business and I would not have taken a blood test just to prove people right or wrong because its none of their business even if he is a politican. If it was me I would not have responded. You can think whatever. Plead the fifth whatever. However, if you do bite and respond, well your ass better tell the truth or the hounds will be in your trash can (which they were).

I mean seriously. You came out about cheating, you might as well came out and said you was the baby daddy to get it all over and done with at once. Why drag the crap out ESPECIALLY since nobody was buying it!?! And will people stop with the "it is bad that he cheated on his wife because she had Cancer" Um, hate to tell you that whether she had cancer or not it is wrong and just as devastating. Yeah Urb, but its ....... Bullshit.

Why am I talking about John and not Tiger and the rest. Well, because I liked John Edwards and thought he had a lot of promise and it is not so much he cheated and fathered a child.......yes it is. Dumb ass. I will never understand how people cheat and don't cover up. It's one thing to cheat, but to not use protection while doing so is just stupid. You know what I am going to end here before I continue the rant and I got work to do.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Conversation with Urb

Background: Home feeling bored and my mother was depressed about friendship woes **TIMEOUT** you seriously mean to tell me that you can still have friendship problems in your 50’s? ridamndiculous!!** So we decided to go downtown on the mall - museum. 1) it’s free and 2) my mom lives right down the street and she can’t get lost on metro – 2 years she is back and still don’t know how to use (read) Metro.

I thought of a question to ask my mother and said nah, leave it alone it’s crazy and then forgot to ask her.

We meet at the metro station and was about to go in the museum when I remembered and whispered to my mother……………

Urban: Mommy you don’t have your knife or anything on you do you?
Ma Dukes: Yes, Why?

This crazy ass woman (I know she is my mother saying in a lovely way) has a damn knife on her and don’t see a problem!!! Where downtown by and dem house.

Urban: I knew I should have asked you before we left. You know you can’t bring that in there.

She begins to take it out of her bag! So I begin to tackle her ass and make her get OUT of the line. Yes we were that close to getting tackled.

Urban: Mommy! What are you doing? Wait..

So we start walking and I was hoping she would throw it in the trash or something. SHIT! Not my gangsta momma. She took it and hid it in the plants while I pleaded with her that they probably have cameras on the outside of the building and they probably will see her. Yes I was scared as shit but she sure the hell wasn’t. See this is why I don’t do stuff because I will get caught. When we went back in line I just knew they would zap us or something. I go through no problem, but her machine goes off, but of course she looks all sweet and innocent and they let her by. I tell you my mother is a trip. She don’t think she did anything wrong. She is a trip, my mother swears someone is out to get her and has to be ready just in case. I keep asking her what will she do to them because she had to dig in that bag to get the knife and by the time she did all that they would have already hit her ass over the head.

More conversation with Mom and pictures from the museum to come.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Anger Mgmt is SIXTEEN!!!

Yes! My beautiful princess is sixteen. I love her to pieces. She is so smart and so pretty and the best part....she don't know it yet. She is always trying to help someone (unless it is her brother).

Anywho, my baby is sweet sixteen and she love lasagna and manicotti so that is what I am making for her and then we will have cheese cake with strawberries. Also, later in the month she is going to have a spa party with her friends. So, if you ladies have any suggestions let me know!!

I wrote my annual birthday letter and when she saw me she was like please don't give me that letter. Whatever! She is getting my letter. ALL positives and negatives. And she act like she don't like my letters but I saw she posted some of my writings in the inside of her closet. So whatever back to her!!

Well let me get back to cooking she will be home soon from the movies with her friends.