Friday, May 07, 2010

Family Mediator: That dress is too short!

When did I sign up to be the mediator in the family(and friends)? Tired.

I explained in a previous post that the kids use me to be the mediator with their dad. Again, I know why. He is a major lecturer, no one has time for that, and he yells at the little stuff. Me on the other hand will listen first and then lay the smack down. I can see issues from both sides but my hubby, um not so much. His ass is like GUILTY before you even start talking. Anywho, I am the mediator with him and the kids too.

Background: Anger Mgmt spilled gel all in her purse. We turn back around so she can change her bag. We get back to the house and instead of pulling all the way into the garage where it is dark; we let her walk in the house. Why lawd? Girlfriend had a shirt on. That sucker was not a dress.

Mr. Conservative: MAN, WTF, that shit is too short.
Mr. Stefon: Yes, it is daddy. You sure she going to school with that thang on? (Instigator).
Mr. Conservative: Did you see that? You see her dress.
Urban: (my head was down, but I lifted it up just in time to see nothing but legs) I just saw it my head was down. Tell her to change.
Mr. Conservative: Man that dress is so short.
Urban: Okay, why are you telling me. Tell her to change her shirt.
Mr. Conservative: No because the last time I said something you were in agreement with what she had on.
Urban: What? Are you crazy? That was one time, the outfit was not too short, AND that does not mean she gets to wear any ole thing. You have been saying something. Just call and tell her to change or something.
Mr. Conservative: I am not calling her.
Urban: (pissed) This is so stupid! Why am I the mediator in this family? Everyone has a problem they come to me. This is just ridiculous. Mr. Stefon goes in the house and tells your sister to either put jeans/tights on under that dress OR change all together. RIDAMNDICULOUS. That was so easy.
Mr. Stefon: Ma, you mean shirt because that is not a dress.
Urban: Do what I asked you and stop trying to get people in trouble!

JE.SUS CHRI.ST Work aint hard. Dang. I swear sometimes.

I also had a talk with her this week in reference to the skimpy crap. I told her I needed to talk with her and she of course did not want to but I told her…

Urban: I understand you are this fashionista, you are keeping up with the styles, and boys are probably starting to notice you but trust you do not have to show everything. I notice your hemline is getting smaller and smaller. Let’s keep it classy.
Anger Mgmt: I was not doing it for any boys. (She still wants me to believe no one has taken notice of her – yeah okay)
Urban: Beside the point. Did you hear me and do you understand?
Anger Mgmt: Yes ma’am.
Urban: Cool.

My husband thinks he is slick. He just don't want to be seen as the bad guy (which he already is) with her because that is his hanging partner. Since she was a dang on baby he has been saying what she can and can not wear. Its a running joke with my friends and family. When we use to go shopping and we picked out something they would be like - you know Mr. Conservative and College boy will not let her wear that. Because her oldest brother is the same way. But whatever she came out the house with different clothes on and she didn't say anything (better not have). Now she could be like her aunt and have the same clothes in her bag to change back into at school........


Anonymous said...

My freinds and I would rotate the skimpy clothes to keep them off the radar (we went to diff schools). Shoooot, I would change on the porch.

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