Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I am so emotional right now

I just left Mr. Stefon and he is so cute. I don't know if I am emotional because I walked up all them damn steps or because my baby is starting the six grade. I think it is the latter. Wow, my baby won't be a baby soon. He asked his sister last night if middle school was hard and she yelled at him with her mean ass and I told her don't forget you asked the same when you began high school. On the way to school this morning he told me he hated making new friends and saying his name over and over and I told him. Look just remember this. Today is the first day and everyone is new and nervous. He gave me three hugs and a kiss and one of the teachers said aweeeee. He walked up and down the steps three times until I just left so that he could move on. I have pictures but can't load because I am on the bus.

I want a new baby. Maybe I will go and play with someone elses kid. Mr. Conservative told me hell no a week ago.

Oh well my physical isn't until 10 so I guess I will be going to union station and chill. Peace.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

FO: Mirbeau Slip Stitch Baby Blanket

Pattern: Mirbeau Slip Stitch Baby Blanket by Brenda A. Lewis

Yarn: Loops and Threads Snuggly Wuggly Baby Sports

Needle Size: U.S. 6

This baby blanket has been a pain in my arse. However, I persevered and it is DONE!

I made this blanket for my next-door neighbor’s first baby. They do not know the sex of the baby; therefore, I made the blanket with pastel colors. If I had to do it over again, I would venture out to other colors.

This was a fun knit after I learned the pattern. The pattern is not too clear in the beginning. This was a love/hate blanket for me. Why? Here goes, let’s start with.....


1. I should have carried all the colors up the side, but I thought it would be too bulky.
2. Damn this was a long knit, will use bigger needles if I knit it again.


1. THAT I FINALLY FINISHED A BABY BLANKET!! I started making my Godbaby blanket when she was in the womb and I believe she is five now. That yarn was taken out and used to create the SockWarrior sock for Sheri of Loopyewe. The red sock on the pattern was made with my yarn. Good damn yarn too.
2. I stuck with the pattern and did not cheat. Except for when I read a book or just left it all together. I got bored and I had an awesome summer. Therefore, I did not spend a lot of time knitting.
3. The blanket looks really nice and I am so very proud.
4. This blanket is machine washable, which I think any new mom can appreciate.
5. Grateful parents. When I told the mom, I was making her a blanket she was very excited and thankful. Always, love giving gifts to folks who will appreciate it.
6. Also, it looks like I did a lot of work but this pattern was very simple. I love simple patterns that looks difficult.
7. Thank goodness for scrapbooking. Because I might not scrapbook as much, but I am always using material I have for school projects or wrapping a baby blanket in it. It has all the colors of the blanket. SCORE!

All in all a great knit. I love the finished product, so it was well worth it.

Sorry for the crappy pictures but you should know the drill by now. One day I will get better.

Friday, August 21, 2009

My Birth Story: Collegeboy is 20 today!

Urban: Mommy can you take me to get some manwich.
Mommy: I will be glad when you drop that baby because you and manwich is getting on my nerves. Come on.

My mom and stepdad drove around to get me my manwich and while doing so, every bump I hit was painful. But I thought nothing of it. Then my mom said we should go to the hospital. We went to the hospital and they said it was probably Braxton Hicks (fake as contractions). They got tired of seeing me. This was my third time coming to the hospital that week. The nurses told me to walk around so the baby will drop and don’t come back until my contractions were five minutes apart.

Oh well. I went home and the Manwich that I adored turned into heartburn so I kicked my stepdad out the bed and went to lay with my mother. She slept like a baby and I kept complaining about back pains. I woke her up and she was like did your water break. I said no, she turned over went back to sleep. However, I made plenty trips to the bathroom and all that would come out was a little drizzle. Finally, I said freak it and called my Uncle who lived all the way across town.

Urban: Unc, you need to come pick me up because I am in labor.
Uncle: I am not picking you up because your mom and dad are there.
Urban: Fine. I am not going to the hospital unless you come.
Uncle: Okay, I’m on my way.

Called baby daddy who lived in the house across the street and told him “its showtime.”

Now I really didn’t know it was time, but my back hurt like hell and I determined that this had to be it or close to it.

Everyone piled up in the car for the hospital. Today my Uncle talk about the ride to the hospital because every bump was a problem.

Urban: (screaming) Can’t you try and miss the bump!
Uncle: I am trying. I am not even driving that fast.
Urban: DANG!! You got to be hitting every pothole known to man.

We get to the hospital, and because I was a young mom they treated me like crap. They wouldn’t give me a wheelchair. They told me I needed to walk. My Uncle told them to get me one. She said it was better for me to help bring me to full labor. But we kept trying to tell her I was sick and needed the wheelchair and she would not listen. Well in true Urban fashion, I threw ALL that manwich up and I got the damn wheelchair then.

Now, folks the whole time all I dreamed about while pregnant was getting an epidural so I wouldn’t feel any pain. However, after checking me they said I was fully dilated and did not have time to get an epidural. WHAT!? My mommy and doctor told me I can have one. Well, it is too late you are delivering this baby NOW.

Ya’ll I was so mad because I wanted that damn epidural and did not want pain. I can’t STAND pain. No sir re bob.

Anywho, went into the room and on August 21, 1989 I gave birth to a big headed little boy that was 21 ½ inches and 7 lbs.

He is the same as he came in the world quiet and gave his mother no trouble. He slid right out. I didn’t need stitches or anything. However, I do remember what the nurse in the room said. That was an easy birth, but the rest will be very painful. WTF!! If I have to see it from the nurse side – maybe she was saying that because I was a young mom and that would be a deterent. My side, DAMN she cold. That is not something you say to someone after giving birth no matter what age. But, it is what it is.

Actually, I have had three natural births with no epidural and no stitches – BLESSED.

Back to my baby boy. He stayed in the hospital an extra day because he had a little jaundice.

I just can not believe my baby is no longer a teenager and is a man. He is 21.

I am so thankful to God for this beautiful gift. Although after going in his room this morning to wish him a happy birthday I was ready to strangle the heck out of him.

I asked him what happened to his room.

Urban: Boy what in the world is going on in here.
Collegeboy: Nothing.
Urban: I know you see all this stuff on the floor, how in the heck do you walk around.
Collegeboy: Ma this is a working mans’ room.
Urban: Boy please, I will discuss this room with you tomorrow.
Collegeboy: Why are you taking pictures?
Urban: So I can put it on the web and show them how trifling you are.
Collegeboy: Okay. Maybe I will go in your room and take a pictures and upload it.
Urban: Whatever. Have a great day at work and happy birthday.

Tsunami, what in the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!


Why you ask?

1. He is my child.
2. He calls home when he is out and let me know what time he will be home and he calls when he is at the metro, on the bus. Overkill really. But so what, I know where he is.
3. He interacts with us. He called me last week, excited he found a new game, Monopoly Cards, for us to play, so he purchased it. We finally played the game last night and we had so much fun. I hate real monopoly.
4. Last but not least, his character. He has always had a great spirit and I love it about him. He knows it is okay to be different and he does not care what people think. He plays his “white” music and hang out with his friends with no care in the world. He will give you his last dollar (or mine).

By baby is no longer a teenager, but a grown man (not really), but he will always be my baby.

The outfit he wore home from the hospital.

Sleeping. Damn, he is a splitting image of his father. Even mannerism. Lawd, I am glad that is all he got from him. And why is he sleeping with his laptop and video games and more...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The weekend: Comedy Club, Cookout, School Shopping

This weekend was great, except for some MINOR glitches. Let’s get to it. You know it has to be drama or some crazy shizznit wherever I am. The funny thing about it. I can’t stand drama and yet I am always close to it.

Friday - Comedy Club

My bff of 21 years and I went to a comedy/old ass hell club. My bff and almost everybody momma has been trying to get me to join Well, I don’t want to. I don’t have time, plus I am not trying to reconnect with the people I went to high school with. People come and go for a reason. Well anyway, she has been going to the happy hours and kickball games. You name it - she has ditched the kid and husband to be there. She asked me to go to a comedy show because some dude from our school was performing. Do you remember???? Why must we play this game, you know I don’t. Let the drama begin.

We get there and get in the parking lot and was like DAMN, it smell like fried chicken. Man all you can smell is seasoning. While we are walking to the club these guys bump the horn. I kept walking, but she goes to the truck. She comes back looking all disturbed.

Urban: Whats up with you?
BFF: Girl, why he ask for my number?
Urban: Okay, and?
BFF: I told him, no I can’t do that I am married and he said good, so am I and showed me his ring. I just told him, okay good luck with that. Can you believe it.
Urban: Hell yeah. People are a trip and your ass was dumb going to the truck. What the hell you thought he wanted? PRAYER.
BFF: Shut up.

Get in the club and folks are hand dancing. I swear the men in the club average age was 60. Not mad at them, but damn. The comedy club was downstairs and while heading down we ran into the guy from school who was the host and a guy from school was a bouncer (maybe they have an internship for folks who went to our high school). The host stated he was going to sit us in the front because he knows we will try and hide. Damn, I sure was but we had good seats.

His set starts and he proceeds to tell us the rules of the club while he is performing. Now, while he is doing this two girls I actually remember from school comes in late (one I remember her name and the other just her mug). I KNOW Mug is about to break a rule. Why she comes in with the other girl, shock to see me she does the girlfriend thing we do. Hhheeeeyyy Girl and come and hug me. Why am I trying to dodge her grip because I know we are breaking a rule. Sure enough the comedian, gets on her. Now, if you were on time you could have handled all that. Now your interrupting my show. How come she wants to go word for word with him? Geez. After the comedy show we went upstairs to listen to the band that came later. We had a ball hanging out with Mug and the other chick.

Saturday - Hair Salon,Cookout

Hair - you already know about. I have decide to make orange, tomato and lemon juice out of the situation. It is what it is and it will work itself out. I can't stay in a negative place.

Cookout - I decided to go to a cookout my old coworker invited me to. He throws these big ass cookouts every year. Mr. Conservative, Mr. Stefon, myself and another BFF decided to go. Well while we are going in Mr. Conservative says…..

Mr. Conservative: You know we have to pay.
Urban: Stop bullshitting. No we don’t.
Mr. Conservative: Seriously, look.

Sure enough, there are ladies sitting in the corner with a money box and a sign saying $8.00. AND they even had the little orange bands to put on your wrist to show you paid.

MAN oh MAN you talk about someone who was heated!!! Mr. Conservative and BFF wanted to leave off of principle, but I convinced them to stay because I wanted to see some of the old folks.

What is crazy though. If my old homie would have told me we had to pay when he called me I would have gladly paid. I mean it was all you can drink alcohol and it was plenty. Ten bushels of crabs, Alaskan crab legs, shrimp, pig feet, seafood salad, steak. They went all out DJ, Picture Man, AND I heard an announcement that the Tattoo man was on his way (GTFOH). It was well worth the $8.00 but it would have been nice to know about it in advance, ESPECIALLY since I normally do not walk around with cash on me. I did have fun and saw some coworkers that I loved and exchange new numbers with because they were like older sisters/mommas to me. When I started working there I was 20/21 and left when I was 29. I grew up a lot there and they helped. I would have stayed there forever if the money was right, just because of the people.

Random folk, by nightfall there were about 200-300 folks there. I wonder how his neighbors felt about all the noise and parking?
Do you see the orange band and the picture background in the back?

I tried jello shots for the first time. Where the heck have I been. I love them, but them cute little cuddly things sneak up on you. I had about 6 or 9.

The purple and yellow was vicious they had rum and me no likey rum.

We also went to Columbia Mall this weekend. Anger Mgmt wanted to buy school clothes with the money she said up. So we had to go out there so she could go to one store dELIA. If you have a teenage girl, you know about this store, as well as Claires and Icing or whatever. She normally buys online but she wanted to see it in person, so we got Mr. Conservative to take us out there. She got some cool finds. It still amazes me when I see her shop an complain about the prices, because there are no complaints when she is shopping with me. One thing I can say is she goes to the clearance racks all the time. When she was little I use to always take her there first. My little mean baby is growing up.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Better Pics of Hair Color

Okay, I took pictures during my lunch break. So, the only thing not orange is my roots - which Anger Mgmt kindly pointed out already. Gotta love her. Anywho,I still don't understand how in the hell my whole head is this color since I had on the dumb ass helmet cap. Anywho, without further ado, I present to you. Carrot top.


Now, I got in the house about 2ish and had to be at the hair salon at 9 AND I had to take public transit because Mr. Conservative had to work. Man I was tired. I got on the wrong bus but it worked itself out.

Now, I already have color in my hair and I am trying to grow it out. I have not grown my hair out in years. I will chop it for no damn reason. It will grow back. I also color it maybe once a year – streaked. Well I decided my streaks were growing out too much and decided to let her streak it. Mind you, this is the second time I am going to her. I am in search of a new hairdresser. Well we pick the color and all that and she goes through everything and I see her looking funny.

Urban: What?
Dumbass: Your hair is um..
Urban: WHAT!
Dumbass: Well, it didn’t come out how WE thought. Its brighter, not light.
Urban: Well I am not worried too much if it is near the color. It will work its self out.
Dumbass: do you want to see the color.
Urban: No. What good would it do? It’s not going to change anything.

When she wrapped my hair I could see the color but of course it looks darker wet, so I said well its not that bad. Well when it dried and she did my hair. I was like WTF!!!! She started telling me how pretty the color is. Okay, granted the color is cute and I like it. Hell I had red/organge before. BUT I am looking for a job and not with the damn circus. OH and when I had it before, the damn shampoo girl put the rinse in and did not tell me. She made a mistake. Lawd I have so many salon tales.

Anywho, she did my hair in this funky way. Which hey, I will rock it. I am already rocking orange, yellow, red. I don’t know the damn color.


Mr. Stefon is playing his PSP when I come in the house. So I don’t say anything. I look at him and his mouth is WIDE open. Mommy are you okay? Can someone please tell me why I would not be okay. (asshole).

Anger Mgmt comes down the steps. I am in the kitchen. I can tell someone is staring at me so I turn around and sure enough – her ass is standing there with her mouth covered, like in a horror movie. I can’t wait for daddy to see your hair!

Collegeboy comes up the steps looks at me and says nothing (see, this is why I love him, but why his wife will be pissed with him,he doesn't notice anything). He just carries on a conversation. Then of course, Anger mgmt has to say. DO YOU SEE HER HAIR? He said yeah, its just different like all the other stuff she gets. (who is she?)

Mr. Conservative comes in and looks at it and said. Did you ask her to do that? NO. How come you didn’t stop her? HOW can I when I think she is doing what she suppose to. I like it. Didn’t you have your hair like that before? Yup, but it was a rinse. This shit is permanent. Well he likes it and so does everyone else but damn.

Oh AND this shit is not streaked its over my WHOLE head. I don’t get it. She put that little cap thing around my head. But oh well.

This was my hair for the 4th of July. I can't find another picture with the streaks. my hair looks a little darker here. See how short it is. This is when I decided to start growing it out. I call this the Five Heart Beats cut because of the Poof in the front and no hair on the sides - think Chr.isete Miche.lle.

Weekend post coming up and I will try to take a picture outside which is much brighter.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Damn!! It has been a great ride being on vacation. I barely cleaned thed house. Less ocd. Let the kids clean or should I day half clean. You know I still wasn't cooking on a regular. Anger mgmt bought it up again. However I already decided todau would be the day. I have been on vacay since May and didn't do abday resolution or nothing. I guess back to business after 4 hours. Let me party this sucker up. I am at a cookout taking jello shots and waiting for the tattoo man. Ssshhhiiiittt! You know that ain't happening.

Hair still red trying to get a good pic

Why me? My freakin hair is orange/red

My freakin hair is red. Spice. Orange. Hell you pick one. Lawd what am I going to do. Oh and its permanent. I just don't get it blonde and orange is not the ame color. Will take a pic after she finish. Thank gawd I don't sweat my hair but I am still pissed.


Friday, August 14, 2009

say something else about my mustache!!

If her ass ask me about my mustache one more gin. We are going to play "eye say hi to the fist." I am going out so I go get my eyebrows did and homie says you want me to do your mustache too. Hell muthafreakin no. First off I don't have a damn mustache and if it is one iits gonna stay there. Hell I shave everything else ya dig. Anywho she got one more gin to ask me that crapola. So I will ask the husband. Let's see

A. Babe you think I. Have a mustache?
B. Is my mustache long enough to braid?
C. Do my mustache tickle you when I do that thing you like?

Get the fuck out of here! I'm off to the club. We be clubbing!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My baby is growing up!

Mr. Stefon and I was walking to tennis camp and he spotted his little friends ahead of us and he said....

Mr. Stefon: I don't know why they are standing there.
Urban: I think they are waiting for you.
Mr. Stefon: I don't know why? I am walking with you.
Urban: If you want to walk with them you can. I can walk behind you guys because I am going to go to the store.
Mr. Stefon: You sure mommy? Because I can just stay back here with you.
Urban: No. Go ahead.......

Damn before I could finish the boy took off. I can't believe my baby will be 11 this year, let alone his brother will be 20 in a couple weeks.

Mr. Stefon is so sweet when he is not driving me crazy. He always want to hold my hand (still) and he loves to give hugs and kisses as well as letters and notes. AND he is so CUTE. Well at least I think so.

Here is my baby walking away with the red shirt and his crew. I am walking the required steps behind them.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Job Interview

The phone interview went well two weeks ago and today I am going to have a interview with the COO.

Hope all goes well. I am surprisingly not nervous, but I think I practiced enough to be ready.

Tell me a little about yourself?
What are your weakness/strengths?
Why you?
Why are you leaving your current job?

So on and so fourth.

The interview is suppose to last for two hours. Why me? Hopefully it won't I hate the fake smile on my face - like a cheerleader.

Anywho, I am off so I can be on time.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Good Times


I am going to hurt myself. Anger Mgmt asked me to turn to Good Times and I am amazed at James. His frank and beans are all on display in those tan corderoys. My great aunt would say all his business is hanging out. Man oh man them suckers are tight. I wonder if they had to put powder on him to get the pants on. Oh and do he have any kids?


Tuesday, August 04, 2009

MP3 versus IPOD

I can careless about name brand items except for my applesauce. Some things have to be name brand. I can only do Motts. I love peanut butter as we discussed before and I have not noticed a big difference in taste between the brands. Moving on from food.

Everyone in my household has some sort of Apple product, shuffle, nano, first generation, and all the others except me and I can care less. I can do all types of stuff with my MP3 player however, I call my player an Ipod. Not because it is one or I want it to be one. Its just because that is what I known them to be before saying MP3 player. I love it because I can play FM radio and all that good stuff.

Conversation with family.

Urban: Anger mgmt pass me my Ipod.
Anger Mgmt: You mean your MP3 player.
Urban: You know what I mean.
Anger Mgmt: No. You said Ipod. Why do you keep calling this thing an Ipod? You know it is a MP3 player.
Urban: So what! Just give it to me. My MP3 player is just as good as ya’ll funky IPOD.
College boy: Mommy, why don’t you stop being cheap and buy you an IPod.
Urban: How am I cheap? Who bought yours? Your sister and brother’s? I believe it was I. I don’t want one! If I want one I could have one. Dang all this because I called it an IPOD.
Anger Mgmt: Yes, because it is not an IPOD. Be proud of your little MP3 player.
Urban: Whatever. Stop hating on my player because it has a FM radio.
College boy: Yeah we are really hating. Especially the fact that you need a battery and we don’t. Darn.
Urban: Man whatever.

They get on my nerves.

Conversation with Mr. Conservative on our way to workout.

Urban: Dag, my IPOD won’t come on. My battery must have run down. Oh wait I got a battery.
Mr. Conservative (smirking): You want to use my IPod.
Urban: No I am good, I told you I took a battery from the remote.

We go running and you know the damn thing didn’t work because the batter was run down. (shut up). We are about to get in the car and I am joking with him.

Urban: You could have let me use your Ipod since you were not using it.
Mr. Conservative: Here we go. I asked you did you want to use it. I thought your “thing” was working?
Urban: Naw, the battery had no juice.
Mr. Conservative: I swear, I am just going to buy you an Ipod that thing you have is crazy.
Urban: Whatever. I like my Ipod.
Mr. Conservative: That is not an Ipod. I wish you would stop calling it that.

I still like my IPOD/MP3 player or whatever the hell I call it. I am so use to saying it, I am trying to be better, but guess what I don’t give a hell. It is whatever I call it damn it and if they want me to have a real one, then damn it they better buy me one because I have invested enough in all their asses.

Step on a crack break your momma back

........or maybe a heel. Remember that old rhyme. I do.....I wonder if kids still do that stuff. Anywho. What it do folks!?!

I truly believe that a crack is what caused my heel to break. This is the second heel I have actually broken and I have had numerous heels almost stripped of its leather due to the cracks in D.C. sidewalks. I always try and look down so I do not step on a crack because your heel will get stuck - at least downtown where I work at anyway. I have never had this problem before working down here or maybe because the heels are skinny now and they can fit through the cracks.

I did not have a second pair of shoes at work because I call myself cleaning house about a month or two ago. Since Mr. Conservative was getting off work I just had him come and pick me up. His ass laughed while I dragged my leg to the car. He told me it look like I was trying to do the Stanky Leg. See how much spousal support I get from him. Gotta love it.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Why Me? #14542 My heel just broke!


Is it somewhere written that I am not suppose to have a good Monday freaking morning? I mean seriously WTF!@!

So, I am having a good day and decide to go get something for lunch. Ready to read up on some ish and take a break. Have it all planned out that I would I would wait later so by the time I get back it will only be two hours for me to leave.

SIDENOTE: Got up this morning and decided I would look too cute today. Do a little something extra so the husband can be like damn when I got home. Put on a nice dress, some MAKEUP (don't really wear) and some heels instead of wearing my sandals. COULDN'T TELL ME NUTHIN YA DIG!!

Grab my shit to eat lunch. Briefcase - Check. Money - Check. Book to read - Check. Okay, let me stop in the restroom and I am out!!

Leave and strutting because I KNOW I look good. Got that walk going and I hear a little noise look down and noticed I stepped on a little piece of wood, so I straighten myself and keep it moving. Okay, chest out back straight now strut!! How come I cross one street and the next and bam a bitch almost lose her balance - which would have cost me my cool card because I am downtown and surrounding my cars.

I look down and am like WTF!! Lift my leg up and sure enough I BROKE MY FUCKING HEEL and today would be the day that I did not bring my "if my feet starts hurting I will switch to these" shoes. So now I am walking back to the office with one leg looking longer than the other because I am not trying to put any pressure. So instead of looking cute, I look all gimpy and have to walk all slow. Why ME?

This is so not cool. I love these sandals because of the little flower detail and decided to let them come out and play because I only wore theme once the whole damn summer and now they are broke. DAMN! DAMN! DAYHUM!!!