Mr. Stefon: A hard head makes a soft arse! Part 1

Let me set the stage.

Mr. Conservative and I come home. When we get up the steps, Mr. Stefon is staring at me with desperate eyes. I am wondering what’s the matter, but I leave it alone. He waits for his father to go up the second set of stairs and he is watching the steps and whispering…..

Mr. Stefon: Ma can I talk to you for a minute.
Urban: Yes, what?
Mr. Stefon: Not over here, can you come over here.
Urban: Why? Just tell me.
Mr. Stefon: (starts walking towards the dining room) Over here mommy, just real quick.
Urban: (it’s obvious to me he don’t want his father to hear) Oh lawd, did you get suspended from school or something?
Mr. Stefon: No. Nothing like that. Just go in the kitchen with me please.
Urban: NO. Look boy just tell me your father can’t hear you.
Mr. Stefon: Mommy, we had a basketball game at school and we went to watch the game, Ms. Teacher told us to come on and I left my jacket when the game was over I went back in the class and my phone was gone. I told dad and he cancelled the service.
Urban: Okay, well its taken care of you know you need to be responsible but it is what it is.
Mr.Stefon: No mom, this is the thing my…..IPO.D Tou.ch was in my pocket too and now its gone. I didn’t tell dad yet.
Urban: WHAT!!!
Mr. Stefon: I know Ma. What can you do to get it back?
Urban: What can I do? Not a damn thing. Kiss it good-bye because you should not have bought it to school. I told you not to bring it. You always think you know better then us and now you will experience the pain of not listening. A hard head makes a soft ass.
Mr. Stefon: But the teacher said she was going to lock the door.
Urban: I don’t give a damn. It doesn’t make sense. You worked hard and saved your money for that IPOD and now it is gone. Why did you have it at school? Why would you leave it upstairs?
Mr. Stefon: I know mommy. I can’t believe it’s gone. Why did I have to be so stupid? (at this point he is hitting his self in the head, turning red and crying like someone stole something-which they did).
Urban: Well I’ll call your teacher on Monday. But I believe it’s gone.
Mr. Stefon: I am going to go upstairs and look in my room.
Urban: Why? You just said it was in your pocket.
Mr. Stefon: I know. But can’t I still have hope. Please don’t tell dad yet. (my kids favorite line)

I was so proud of him when he bought his IP.OD T.ouch because he said he was going to buy one and he saved his birthday and Xmas money to get it and he got it. He was so happy too. He kept saying I told you mommy I was going to get it, you all didn’t believe me. Well….looka here. I did feel sorry for him, because I knew how hard he worked. But… it is what it is.

Same night watching t.v. Mr. Stefon and I on the couch.
Mr. Stefon: Mommy
Urban: What?
Mr.Stefon: What do you think dad is going to do?
Urban: Nothing. We didn’t buy it, it was your money and I think you have experienced enough heartache and pain.
Mr. Stefon: When do you think I should tell him?
Urban: Soon I guess. I will be there with you if you want.
Mr. Stefon: I want to tell him not too soon, but I don’t want to wait too long either.
Urban: Well, why don’t we wait until Monday after I talk to your teacher or see if someone will return it. The good thing is your IP.od has a code on it and they can’t open it, so make an announcement that you will give whoever “finds” your I.Pod T.ouch you will give them $30.00 and keep it moving.
Mr. Stefon: I am tired and want to go to sleep.
Urban: Well go to sleep.
Mr. Stefon: I can't because I know all I will do is dream about it.

Poor thing, as much as I felt sorry for him it was funny too but of course I didn't laugh in front of him.

My kids are so scared of their damn father and always have me as the mediator. All he will do is lecture them to damn death. I think I would rather take a beating then to hear him talk about the same thing over and over and over. He forgets nothing this boy will be 38 and he will still talk about when he was 11 and lost his I.pod T.ouch