Thursday, February 21, 2008

Someone is trying to kill me and I think I know who it is.....

Mr. Stefon! I thought it was going to be Anger Management since she is always watching Snapped! Gotta watch her.

I don't know if he is trying to kill me or trying to make me go to jail for committing a crime!!

I try and be a nice mother and cook a big ole breakfast on Saturday and I call everyone down to eat. I walk past Mr. Stefon and he has this bump on his lip. I ask what happened to your lip? He says, College boy thinks a spider bit me. sigh, a damn spider did not bite you, you have been biting on your lip again. STOP IT!! I TOLD YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU ARE GOING TO GET AN INFECTION.

Well, Sunday I walk past him and decide not to look at him because I know he is going to do something and Lawd For Jesus, I am going to have to strangle him. Against my better judgment, I look and his lip has doubled in size - I ignore it. Monday, same size. I said well I am off until Thursday and you will not be home with me you are going to school with your lip looking just like that. He said, I know, I am not worried about what people say to me. I said good for you!

Tuesday come and his lip tripled and it looks infected because I swear his ass was picking with it and as much as I wanted to be home BY MYSELF, I said you are going to have to stay home and when your father gets home we will call our pusher Kaiser (I should get stock as much as we go). Go in and the doc explains to him that he can NOT chew on his fingers and lip like that because he can get a bad infection and they will have to stick a needle in and it hurts - you think this may have scared him, but I swear he looked like he was considering the shit. While we waited I told him - you know what, I think you are going to be a Hypercondriac when your ass gets older. He LOVES going to the doctor and dentist.

Like I said before, IF he was the first we would be the damn last. Tubes tied, burnt and all.

On a good note, Miss Anger Management got straight A's. I got good grades, always on the honor roll, dean's list and all that - but I never got all A's. I remember once my uncle said - hey if you get straight A's I will get you this Barbie House. Ya'll I got all A's and 1 B and he said well you didn't get it. Aint that some bull shiggity! His broke ass did not want to give me my house, that is how my young eyes saw it.

So, all in all I had one damn day to myself. Started out rocky because I had to threaten to kill again. Anger Management was about to sock Mr. Stefon and he told her he was ready. I am on the third floor mind you and I can hear their ass all the way on the 1st floor. I had to break them up and tell them that I will kill both of them on the spot if they don't leave out the house! Of course while I walked up the steps, Mr. Stefon says, she started it again. He just don't know I wanted her to sock him - he put her clothes every where and that is why she was arguing with him and he told her. I don't have time to pick your stuff up - we need to catch the bus and we don't have time. (Funny, but she was about to hem his little butt up)

Want to see a picture of his lip. Here it is:

This is why I have been ghost, all my energy has been spent on this one and he has a nerve to tell me he needs someone to share a room with - SHIT.

KnitNews: None. I hope to try and knit tonight, I have not knit in weeks.


Christie said...

Children. Oh the joy. Oh the pain.

Anonymous said...

Gurl, my dd chews on her fingers like that & it drives me CRAZY. I say the same thing: infection! Think she listens??? She gets physically ill from the germs & guess what, has to stay home & torment me the same way your ds did you. Why??????

gold said...

Kids can be something else!!I know I have four!

BammerKT said...

Whoa! No wonder you took him to the doc! I'm not being a smartass, there is some condition that deals with biting and chewing lips, inside cheeks and fingers. I'm surprised your doctor didnt say anything. I dunno the name, but hey maybe it's worth looking into.

Good luck with those kids and tell Anger Management "WOO FRICKIN HOO!"

NikkiJ said...

I'm not glad for your pain, but glad to read this because for some time I've been thinking Teddy Bear is a little mental. She'll turn the tiniest scratch into a nasty sore just to get the attention. You know even after the last Dr.'s visit (4 shots)she's been saying she wants to go back and get more.

I remember my brother having to get a sore he'd created in his ear lanced and also one on his finger. After the finger, he stopped.

Lisa said...

Squeak! Girl you strong! My son bites his nails so low but thank goodness he doesn't get infections.

Pajnstl said...

lmao...dont do it miss celie!
you should have let anger management get him!! lol

Sheila said...

I hadn't finished reading your post yet and started lmao. You need a reality showing going-on. Our goddaughter constantly licks her upper lip and it gets so bad - all red and raw, then she walks around with her hand over her mouth... sheesh.

Monique said...

You are a nut! I'm glad I ran into your blog. I know about those days off to yourself. Everytime I get one, someone seems to get sick lately. Poor babies, poor mom!

Susan said...

Miss Lady - you are not alone. My Sister has 3 boys and they think that the best way to get a tooth out for the tooth fairy is to get kicked in the mouth! Who knows what makes them tick. Hang in there!