Conversations with Urb

Mommy Dearest & I

That good ole holiday – Mother’s Day, came and I wanted to buy my mother some clothes, but I needed her size. So, I called her.

Me: Mommy, what size do you wear?
Mother Dearest: Why?
Me: Because I want to know. (as if it wasn’t obvious)
Mother Dearest: Get me a size 12/14.
Me: Mommy, I am not buying you a 12, you are too small. (me to self, she is smaller than me she has to be a 6).
MD: I know what I want get me a 12/14
Me: I am not buying that, look you are smaller than me. If I wear a 8 (depends) or 10 you have to swear a size smaller than me.
MD: (Laughter) Who wear a 10? Your ass wear a 14/16.

Silence

MD: Hello
Me: I have never worn a 14/16, where do you get that from.
MD: Well it looks like it, I have to look at you again.

What the fuck? I always go through this shit with my mother and sister. By the way, they have always been bigger then me. I used to be a 0, and no I was not sick or anything, just didn’t gain shit. I was a 0 until I had Mr. Stefon and then I went to a 6 and have fluctuated between an 8/10 and when I am about to go to a 12 diet like mad or exercise. My sister is fat. Cutie, but fat. I say that to say, she should never worry about my weight, but she do. I don’t care about size, but with them you would think I was the biggest person walking this earth.

Mr. Stefon & Urb

Mr. Stefon lost his metro pass. I pay $26 for the month for him to catch the train and bus unlimited for the month. If you lose the pass your short. Well he lost his and I know it is in his room somewhere. So this morning on the way to school, I said something about the pass again.

Me: We would have more stuff to bring on our trip if you didn’t loose your pass, and I didn’t have to shell out extra money (me and him might go on a date this weekend to the monument)
Mr. Stefon: Mommy you are making me feel bad.
Me: How?
MS: You keep talking about the pass
Me: I’m going to keep talking abut the pass do you know how much it cost, If we don’t have the pass, I pay 6 dollars a day for you that is 30 dollars in a week, 120 for the month.
Mr. Stefon: Well you told me to tell you when you make me feel bad and you will stop.
Me: Did I have a glass in my hand? Because I am going to keep talking about it until you find it. Have a nice day at school sweetie – oh and look in your locker and see if it is in there.

Furthermore, the boy don’t feel bad. He said that after I told him I am not buying a video game, because the money for the game is being spent on his travels.

Urb & the cleaning lady

Me and the cleaning lady chit chatting talking about life.

Cleaning Lady: I love your hair, it looks so nice.
Me: Thank you
CL: You should keep your hair short like that and the color is nice.
Me: Thank you
CL: Are you pregnant
Me: Um, no….
CL: You are just glowing and beautiful girl, keep on doing what cha doing.
Me: Ah, thank you – what I wanted to say – Maybe, I look like this because my husband was laying pipe 2 in the a.m., but, but um, I didn’t and I will keep on doing what we were doing!