Last weekend I went to Wine in the Woods a wine festival. I had a ball ya'll. There is nothing like good food, wine and friends - oh and Mr. Stefon. We had to take him, because the other two had plans - dayum.
Anywho, I got to sample some local wines (and buy some) and had one of the best crab cakes, don't let no one fool you, Maryland makes the best crab cakes. What would have really set it off would have been some yarn for sale. There was artisans there, and I bought some of their wares.
THE best part of the festival - the end. Why, you ask? Because people don't know their damn limit!!
Here's a little do's and don'ts of a Wine Festival.
DO get a designated driver, if you know your going to drink the whole entire time.
DON'T drink your weight in wine and then think you can walk. Man ol man, we were DYING with laughter, people were falling slam out. And Mr. Stefon had the best line, why he say, I guess somebody forgot to spit!!! Oh Man, I thought I would wet my pants. Another lady fell slam out, in the mud (it has been rainy bad here) face first, gf was knocked out, her husband had to fireman carry her. Not a good luck at all, but funny as all get out (she wasn't hurt). Okay, one more. The last one I went to the lady was walking with her kids and she could not go straight. Her husband, was like I can't bring her no where and the kids were staring. We were cracking up - oh and the police was giving people "voluntary" breathalyzers. Some needed to take that test.
DO bring chairs, blankets, leashes for your kids and good eats if your not buying anything.
DON'T drink bottles at a time and then want to fight. Every wine festival I go to at the end they want to fight and it is normally the frat boys. Of course, Mr. Stefon spotted this one - Daddy, look, that man just picked up a bottle and about to hit him over the head. Sure nuff, he was. Last one I went to, same thing except they really got scruffing, all I heard was, "We need Officers at the front" damn shame. I looked at our group and was like - hell, they said don't give any brown to black people, I think we need to look into whites and wine.
DO wear comfortable shoes and be ready to have a good time, especially if you are buying food, because the lines were packed for food, I mean like an hour wait.
DON'T wear six inch heels when you know the shit is outside and it has been raining for weeks. Dirt+Water=Mud and you busting your ass.
DO volunteer if you have the time.
DON'T volunteer if you are going to be drinking the wine like their shots. Man oh man, this one chic that was helping, I swear she was going one for you 3 for me. People in line, were like damn, is she suppose to be doing that? I mean, she was taking it back to back.
DO go around to the local winery's and try the wines, that is what you paid for and is therefore.
DON'T drink up everything just because it is free. KNOW YOUR FUCKING LIMIT, many see free and just go for it.
One last one.
DO try new stuff - hey again, that is what your there for.
DON'T ever in your life try Chocolate Zinfandel, as I stated everything was free to sample, except special shit. They had the Chocolate Zinfandel for $1 and I was not going to pay for it because it didn't sound like my thing. My friend got in line to get it and this girl over to the side was talking to me and telling me it is ssssooooo good, like she just had an orgasm, so I'm like hell I want one. SHIT, should have followed my instincts, she must work for the damn place, my friend and i spit ours out at the same time.
Here is my wine and my most prized possession, my wine glass holder. Put it around your neck and bam you don't have to carry it. I got it at my first wine festival and I got stopped numerous times, my husband broke his (truth be told, that was actually mine...ssshh). So, I tried to get him another but they didn't have them at this one.
Me wearing my best friend.
My wine glass and holder and Precious tried to sneak in the picture.
Beauty is her name!
This weekend I will be attending the Caribbean Wine Festival at Linganore Wineries, I am so stoked because this will be my first visit to a winery. Oh boy! Can some say DESIGNATED DRIVER! Not it, you know I don't drive.
What do you have planned this holiday weekend?