From the Heart

Michael,

I have so many fond memories of you. How do we go from talking about a Michael Jackson dance off to saying good-bye? I remember when everyone was rocking the red thriller jacket and the zippers, the penny loafers – which by the way saved me in a fight with a boy who was picking on me. This fool jumped on my back while I was walking home from school. Well Michael let me tell you. I took my loafer off and socked him a couple times with it. He got the picture and left me alone. I also remember the glove. How can I forget that? That glove was magical. Who knew you could wear one glove as an accessory! Well, that has been a fashion craze for the past two years, but it didn’t work out to well. I saw Bey.once and Len.zy Lo.han try and do. But it didn’t last because they were not you. The jheri curl. Just wow. The curl was the first time I went to the hair salon. My momma let me get one and I remember it not taking properly. I had to go back to the salon and the beautician was not to happy she said, look young lady you have sandy brown hair, and it is difficult to work with. Um, whatever, I got my jheri curl fixed and was rocking the activator glo and all. COULD NOT TELL ME NOTHING!! Hell it was even cool to wear the highwater pants while dressing like you, but um after that no sir.

I remember when I first had the hots for you. My godsister had posters of you on her wall. It was a poster of you in this yellow sweater and lets not forget the Thriller cover. Claude Have Mercy I swore you were now on Prince level. I mean we knew you were great, but Prince was the one with the sex appeal – although, he was the one that should have been suspect with the high heels and ass out jeans. You had me with the sweater, but there was another one of you that I cannot find, with you in a towel with your bare chest, I know I am not dreaming.

Anywho, you have touched many – the girls wanted you and the boys wanted to be you. I thought my godsister had it bad with the posters until we went over her cousin Tony house. She was a nut and if she was older she would have probably been a st.alker or at least she had stalker tendency. We went into her room and EVERYTHING was covered, her walls, the door, and I want to say ceiling but I can’t recall. She had you everywhere. I was so jealous of her because her mom let her wild out like that, were my mother wouldn’t let me hang up a poster because she didn’t want tape or nails messing up HER walls. Tony is a mortgage broker today, but when I see her or hear her name I think of her room.

I thank you for giving my family something to share. When the news broke on the radio yesterday of you possibly having a heart attack, we were all in shock. Mr. Stefon was very upset and I think that says a lot. I have to tell you. I did not know my kids knew who you were musically. I mean, I knew they knew your name. I remember coming home last year and saw Anger Mgmt on the computer watching your video and I was like wow, how did they know you. I assumed my kids perception of you was of a crazy, freaky person. Lets be honest Michael in the 2000’s some crazy ish was being said about you. So, it surprised me when I saw them watching your videos. I was even more surprised when the 25th Anniversary of Thriller came out. I did not buy it, nor did I plan too. My friends called me and asked me was I getting it and the answer was no. Not because I didn’t like your music, but I hear it all the time, so I didn’t think it was necessary. Well, when I came home my kids gave me a what for. I thought they were joking when they said they wanted it. Mr. Conservative went out and got it for them. When I heard we had it and they were all excited I was looking at them like they were still crazy. I asked them are you serious? And they were like yes, that’s Mike. I remember when we put the CD in to listen to the new songs with Fegie and Kanye and we were like ew, this is horrible. We only listen to the old Michael songs, the revamped ones with the new artist suck major butt.

If anyone sees us on the road when we are going to Costco, or any other store we are in the car rocking to one of your songs on full blast. It is so nice to hear Mr. Stefon say, Mommy go to number six.

I thank you for all that you have meant to me and my family. There are so many videos that you have for me to say which one is my favorite. But one that I really love that shows your persona is the one with you and Janet – Scream. When I saw this video, I fell in love with you again and it’s because you seemed so human to me and showed a lot of your personality – confidence, humorous and love for your sister. You and Janet fighting while playing the video game, classic. If that was not me and my sibling or my kids. I felt like you were finally having fun.

Thank you and you will definitely be missed by everyone.

RIP.


I was/am very shocked at my emotions. When I see people going crazy over celebrities when they die. It baffles me. I am normally like why? You don't know them and now I understand.


Scream Video

Michael Jackson Face Off - Mr. Conservative battle Mr. Stefon

Yesterday was SOOOOO fun.

My job has been very busy and stressful this past month, almost two. It took my blood pressure reaching 156/88 for me to realize that enough is enough. I was so sick that day. But now, my attitude is – it’s whatever – like momma said you can’t get blood out of a turnip. The best thing for me right now is to enjoy my home life and work is now slowing a little. Go figure I say it is slowing and our audit starts Monday.

Anger Mgmt bought up the fact that our cookout is coming up and we have not practiced or picked a song we agreed upon.

Anger Mgmt: we need to pick a song and start practicing, because I don’t want to look stupid in front of everybody and this is our house.
Urban: Oh snap, I forgot. Do you think we have to still do it?
Mr. Conservative: Yes. I called my mother the other day and she told me to call her back she was practicing.
Anger Mgmt: See this is what I am talking about.
Urban: You need to calm down Joe Jackson.
Anger Mgmt: I’m serious mommy. When are we going to start practicing?
College Boy: The day before and we will be messed up. (that boy ain’t never lied)

They decide on a Michael song, but one problem. Mr. Conservative AND Mr. Stefon wants to be Mike. Now. I have never seen Mr. Conservative be Michael his family talks about when he was little and how he had the outfit and had to fight him to get it off. But that was before my time. Now, I have seen Mr. Stefon and brother gets down. In December for a going away party, they had him do it and he is awesome. However, last night Mr. Conservative was adamant that he was going to be Michael and that was final. WHATEVER!!

Urban: (instigator) How you just going to say your Michael? I haven’t seen you dance like Mike.
Anger Mgmt: Yeah Daddy, when do you dance. Mr. Stefon is serious when he does it.
College boy: Yeah, he might want to slow down a little bit but he does a great Michael.
Mr. Conservative: Ya’ll heard everyone at the party. When I was little I use to get it too.
Urban: Key word is little.
Mr. Stefon: I challenge you daddy to a dance off. Yeah daddy come on.
Mr. Conservative: No, I am Michael.
Mr. Stefon: That’s not right. Your all old and stuff. You are going to be slow and everything.
Mr. Conservative: Whatever, leave me alone.
Anger Mgmt: Daddy you know you going to need some help. Maybe College boy can be the guy like James brown had.
Mr. Stefon: No. What daddy is going to need is some of Grandma joint juice.

Lawd I thought I was going to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Urban: Babe, I know you are not going to let him call you out like that. You have to battle him now for the older generation. I will ice you down the next day if necessary.
So, a challenge has been born. They will do one song at the party. We still don’t know what the hell we are doing as a group. I chose We Are Family and I was voted down hard. So we put all out names in a hat and picked who gets to pick the song and guess who name came up………………..College Boy. Now remember he only listen to rock music, Lawd help us. We might be rocking to My Ch.emical Romance or Gorillaz who knows. He did say maybe a Black Eye Pe.as song.

Working children

Anger Mgmt and College Boy are working this summer.

College Boy is a program analyst and a team leader, so he loves his job. Anger Mgmt is an environmental specialist. Anger Mgmt has been on my case since last week trying to be transferred. Well guess what? She can’t. She then tried to petition her father to let her take extra classes at school so she would not have to work, because it is too hot outside to pick up trash. Um, it did not work.

Yesterday text:

Anger Mgmt: Hi mommy
Me: Hey whats up.
Anger Mgmt: I hate this job so much.
Me: That’s good. At least you know what you do not want to do for a living.
Anger Mgmt: Ha ha very funny. Seriously mommy, are you sure, the lady said no transfer.
Me: Pretty much. Think of your paycheck – remember your sweet 16 you want to have.
Anger Mgmt: Why? I thought you and daddy were paying for it.
Me: Hahahahahaha

Todays text:

Anger Mgmt: Hi there
Me: Hi princess. How is everything going?
Anger Mgmt: Very funny. We are going to hang door hangers on people doors. Around Congress heights so I might die.
Me: You will be paid for your efforts or at least I will – may you rest in peace.

Anger Mgmt is too funny AND a trip. We discussed her Sweet 16 last year. She came to me and had a plan about how she will save up money when she worked next summer for her party and would we contribute. I told her if she puts forth an effort so would we. NOW she acts like she has amnesia and said, I thought you were paying and bought it up again when she came home. I told her she must have been dreaming you know you have to do half. I said remember the convo and your father said you need to stop watching MTV and that you are not Par.is Hi.lton? I definitely remember the conversation. Then she tried to hit us with. Well if I have to save half I earn, then how am I going to help with the party. Um, the other half. WTF.

I do not believe in giving them EVERYTHING. Dang work for something and she know we will help but she will be doing something as well.

Aggressive hand clapping

If theey throw this lady out of the award ceremony for clapping and shouting like a fool, I will die. She has been put on notice and she ain't happy. All I heard was can't nobody tell me what to do.

Too damn funny!

I miss Collegeboy

Collegeboy has been over his dads house for the past two weeks and I miss him dearly. I know he will be 20 this year and his dad deserves just as much time with him as we do,but damn he goes over every weekend and most holidays. I know it is selfish but so what.

What will I do when he moves out? I probably grab on to his leg and he will have to drag me while he carry his bed out.

I hope he comes home today, since his first day of work starts today. Actually for him and Anger Mgmt. She is not happy at all. I will explain later after Mr. Stefon award ceremony.

Poll: Cookouts are suppose to be held inside or outside?

Mr. Conservative and I can not see eye to eye on this one, and his little twin Anger Mgmt agrees with him.

We are having a 4th of July cookout and I keep trying to explain to them that a cookout is suppose to be held outside. I understand people will come in the house I have no problem with that, everyone are family and friends. But, why should the entire cookout be in the house?

I have spoken to a couple friends and they agree with me - it should be outside. However, his sidekick Anger Mgmt says outside. So, my fellow blog friends. What is your take on a cookout - is it held inside or outside?

How old is too old to p.ee in the trash can?

I have not spoken to You Must Be Crazy yet because I want to see if it is a mistake. If she hasn’t changed it by Friday it is on like butter, pop, pop corn.

My friend with the bad ass kids I have told you about before. I don't think I told ya’ll a couple of the last dramas. However, here is a gem. What would you do if your child urin.ated in the trash can at school? Conversation went like this.

Urban: Hello
I NEED AN ASS WHIPPING TOO: Girl, guess what your boy did now.
Urban: Which one?
INASWT: Your boy?
Urban: What? Let me guess get suspended again? (It has been over 10 times this year alone, and that is not a joke).
INASWT: Pe.ed in a trashcan.
Urban: WHAT?!
INASWT: Well he had to go to the bathroom and they wouldn’t let him
Urban: I don’t give a hell that’s not normal he ain’t two. He is seventeen. (I said this because I can tell she is about to start taking up for him).

His version of what happened:

He asked to use the bathroom. They told him no. He asked again. His teacher said no. He then said he would pee in the trash can and she ignored him. He said it again and she said she didn’t care. He said okay took the trash can. Peed in it and then took the bag out and took it to security and said see, I told you I had to pee.

OH NO HE DIDN'T!! WHAT THE FUCK!!

So, she called me back later.

Urban: What’s up?
INASWT: Guess who is suspended until the rest of the year.
Urban: I was waiting for that to happen.
INASWT: Well, its not right because she told him he could p.ee in the trash can.
Urban: **birds chirping**
INASWT: How come your quiet? I guess you don’t agree with me?
Urban: You think? I don't care what the teacher said. She didn't expect a soon to be grown ass man that is 6'3 to pee in the trash can. I mean we don't do shit like that in society. We have societal codes - take your weener or pocketbook and do that in private.

So, last I heard she was fighting for him not to be suspended, she think it is too much. Parents. This is why the youth are like this. Hold your kids accountable. If not you AND them will learn the hard way. I chose to bust mine in the head now.

What would you do if..............

you sent out an e.v.ite to people to come to your cookout and they put they were bringing six people.

Back story: When I was in undergrad in my Spanish class, these two homies and I clicked. We started hanging out, clubbing and all that good shizznit. Let’s call them Home Slice and You Must Be Smoking. I was the only one that graduated, the other two dropped out. Since we all worked downtown, we still met up for Happy Hour and if something were going down, we would go over each other homes. Home Slice and I hung out much more, because she was a true homie, came to my graduation and anything else I had and me for her, i.e. being dragged (you know that’s a lie) to a male strip show.

A couple weeks ago, I received an email from You Must Be Smoking and it was invite to her graduation. I was very excited for her. However, she sent the invite on like a Wednesday and the party was that Saturday. I was trying to do everything I could to get out of prior engagements to go because I know it was hard for her at least back then it was. Needless to say, I did not go and we talked about hooking up for happy hour. Drinks can make the heart grow fonder.

Present: I sent out e.vit.es to folks inviting them to our annual par - tay. Well, before I went to bet I decided to check to see if anyone replied because I am so excited. Well I see I have 14 people coming and this does not include my family. I look at the replies and it has her and six guests. WTF!!

Analysis: Bitch done lost her mine. Now listen, if it was her, her husband and five kids I would be straight cool. But how in the hell do you bring yourself, and six other people to a party. Did I tell you she is not married, unless she got married recently and she ain’t got no kids! Yes I said ain’t. So, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and say she got a significant other. Who in the hell is the other five? I mean I cannot wrap by brains around this shit. I would have even been cool if she said hey, I got family in town and would like to see you, is it okay that I bring them. I mean I would like to see her, but not that damn bad.

So, what would you do? Let her come and bring all her guests or would you tell her no and if so how would you tell her?

Thank You!!

Thank you!! My uncle is out of the hospital and telling inappropriate jokes as usual. We also made a date, so I am excited about that. Gotta get back to work. Again many thanks.

My Uncle

I look at my phone and realize I have two missed messages. Didn't pay attention and finally decided to listen to the messages.

1. My Uncle

Hey baby girl, this is your uncle and I don't feel good. I am leaving work now and going to WHC. I just wanted to call and let you know just in case this is the last time, I am walking... damn this hell is a killer.....laughter.

My family are all comedians, shit not funny, but I guess nervous laughter and why is he walking up a hill when he have a car. I don't understand.

2. My Mother

Toy (shut up, long story) I am on my way to WHC I just got off the phone with your Uncle something is going on with his heart, they were rushing him off the phone and taking him to surgery.

I call my mother and talk with her and she said he was in good spirits but he was complaining yesterday of chest pains, my aunt and cousin are on their way up to the hospital.


As usual, I am writing to ask you all to send one up for me please. Thank you.

Urban

Whatever

You pulled some tricks out your sleeve last night
Everything I fantasize about
You had me climbing up a wall
How many ways was God called
You represented in the fashion of the truly gifted
You put it down last night
Knocked me out then had me dreaming bout waking up, alright
Do you want some money baby?
How about some chicken wings?
Do you want some fish and grits?
I'll hurry and go get it
Whatever

We made a groove last night
A poignant rocking forth and back alright
Anything I can do for you?
Just ask sometimes you wont have to
I'll be happy just to make you happy
And that's true
Oh
We made powerful
Love last night
Never knew passion could taste so sweet alright
I made a vow to you
Everything I do for you is a joy and a gift
You got my whole life lifted

Lyrics of course Jilly from Philly

AMEN!!! Um, AMEN again.

Mirbeau update

I started the blanket over and I am glad I did. The baby is now here, but thats cool. My kids go on a RV trip with the grandmother in a couple weeks and hopefully I will be finished then.