Hi ya'll Patrice sent me interview questions, and my answers are listed below.
~ you discover that your husband had an affair, not only did he have an affair, he fathered a child, this child is the same age as your youngest. What do you do? Do you call it quits? Try to establish a working relationship with the other woman/child?
WHAT!! Run that by me again. Um, he would have to leave and there will be no establishing a relationship with the other woman nor child. Why, because I will not be seeing neither one of them because they would have to visit him at HIS house. Now remember I can say whatever the hell I want while the shit ain’t happened.
I just have a trust issue. My husband can basically come and go as he wants, because I assume he is doing whatever he says he is doing. I never had a problem with him, so if he is dipping he is very good. That's freedom, I ain't checking your cellphone and all that good shit. My mother told me if you gotta go looking you already know and if you look hard enough you will find it.
I like that freedom. So, you do something. I KNOW I am going to be timing your ass to the store and everything else. Fligga, it took your ass 4.6 minutes to go to the store when it normally takes you 2.3. I will not forget. I will probably throw it in your face every chance I got. So no ma'am I ain't the one. I do not think I am built for that shit.
Actually, College boy has a sister that is two or three weeks younger then him. I found this out many years later I think he was five. His dad called me and convo went like this.
Virginity Stealer: Hey, I want to come and get College Boy and take him to a bday party.
Urban: Cool, whose party?
VS: My daughter.
U: Okay. How old will she be?
VS: HE GOT REAL QUIET (why, because he was still trying to slide back in although I was with Mr. Conservative). I
U: Damn dude how old is she? You act like they would be the same age or some shit.
U: (I am laughing, he is NOT).
He went into this spill, and I told him to save the drama for his momma (of course other words were used) and that College Boy would be ready when he picked him up. He was lucky though, because he gave birthday parties for both of them at the same time every year, which meant he saved money, they are his only kids – 1 girl, 1 boy both 19 and will be 20 2 weeks after the other.
~ what has been your greatest learning experience to date?
I have many, so I will answer this seperate.
~ anger management comes to you and says she's a lesbian, she's in love, and she's getting married in 3 wks... what do you do? What is your reaction?
No matter if it was a man or woman she was marrying I would ask her if she lost her damn mind. WTH she is only 15. Naw, legal age, I would tell her about the trials and tribulations that me and her dad went through and that our dream for her is to finish school start a career and then move on.
I believe in unconditional love when it comes to my kids. Now do not get that statement twisted. I would be heart broken. Everyone dreams of seeing a miniature version of their child. That is why grandparents are all kissy poo. So, if she is with another woman or her brother with another man then that means we won’t get to see that.
Too each its own, I don't believe in it, but I would support her unconditionally. I do it now with my husband aunt. She is married to a woman and we all have a great relationship. It was very shocking at first because she use to be one of my clubbing partners and she was always the first on the dance floor getting swarmed by the guys. But when I look back sometimes I am not too surprised. Ooh I got another story, another day.
Suppose you were propositioned by one of your instructors for sex. Of course you would say no if it were just any ole instructor, but this instructor also happens to be your 1st love. The one that holds a special place in your heart. What do you do? If you and Mr. Conservative are in a rocky patch, does that change your answer?
Has happened, answer was no, not from my 1st love though. Answer to first love would be no, no matter what. When I am done, I am done.
~ Hypothetically speaking, Mr. Stephon ends up needing transplant surgery of some sort, as is customary you and hubby go in and have bloodwork done to see if you all are matches. The results come in. Neither of you are matches. Turns out their was a mix~up at birth, the nurses gave you the wrong baby. What do you do?
I would say I KNEW it. That bad as boy could not have been….. I kid.
I would of course sue the hospital (gotta get that paper) and try to find out where is my baby. They would be ten so I think it would be too traumatic to try and switch them, so I would want to form some type of bond with my child. Now if my baby is being treated like a bald headed step child, then I would try to keep Mr. Stephon and get my baby too.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Ice and Mittens
Walking on the ice yesterday was crazy. I can do snow, but not ice. I so wanted to see more of the white stuff so I can play in it. It was a serious balancing act until I got downtown. But when I left my house, I was trying to figure out what was going on with my HOA dues because the sidewalks and driveways were terrible. However, when I did get home they were much better. College Boy called me and told me he fell in the driveway and when he got to school, no one was there. I told him later that he should give his Professor his cell number because she called him cancelling school but we are not home during the day.
These are my steps. I can't even lie, I was slidding like I was on a slip and slide, but you know what I am old and got mad skills. I just let myself slide. When I stopped, I gained my composure and made a damn plan. I made a B line to the street because I saw my drive way (not college boy - youngin) and I was not going to fall - shit people could be looking out their damn window.
This is the sidewalk, I had to walk down here to get out of my subdivision after making it out of the gates. Again once I made it out, I made it to the street and was walking right down the sucker like I had bumpers because I was not getting out of the street.
I wanted to make these mittens for a very long time. I told myself that I would wait until the semester was over and then I would make them. However, I was still working on other knit projects (will take pics and introduce them to you tomorrow), and I had other plans while on break, read James Patterson, watch some movies, cook and some other stuff, so I didn’t get to do them. Well, I finally started a week or two ago, but it is going really slow because I am trying to read stuff for class, read a book I know I should not have started just before class AND life….
So, without further ado, here is my beginning mitten:
Thank you all for saying "it is my blog." Nevertheless, I feel like I am not being true to myself by being half of who I am. See this is the somewhat censored Urban (ain't that some shiggity) and a sistah needs to breathe. I have a lot I want to discuss and I would like to do that. You know I walk through life as two people – the conservative Urban, and then the um …. yeah, other Urban. So, I will see how it goes. Hell since my readers says its cool, maybe it might be this one and I have to scratch the other. To be continued......
These are my steps. I can't even lie, I was slidding like I was on a slip and slide, but you know what I am old and got mad skills. I just let myself slide. When I stopped, I gained my composure and made a damn plan. I made a B line to the street because I saw my drive way (not college boy - youngin) and I was not going to fall - shit people could be looking out their damn window. 
This is the sidewalk, I had to walk down here to get out of my subdivision after making it out of the gates. Again once I made it out, I made it to the street and was walking right down the sucker like I had bumpers because I was not getting out of the street. I wanted to make these mittens for a very long time. I told myself that I would wait until the semester was over and then I would make them. However, I was still working on other knit projects (will take pics and introduce them to you tomorrow), and I had other plans while on break, read James Patterson, watch some movies, cook and some other stuff, so I didn’t get to do them. Well, I finally started a week or two ago, but it is going really slow because I am trying to read stuff for class, read a book I know I should not have started just before class AND life….
So, without further ado, here is my beginning mitten:
Thank you all for saying "it is my blog." Nevertheless, I feel like I am not being true to myself by being half of who I am. See this is the somewhat censored Urban (ain't that some shiggity) and a sistah needs to breathe. I have a lot I want to discuss and I would like to do that. You know I walk through life as two people – the conservative Urban, and then the um …. yeah, other Urban. So, I will see how it goes. Hell since my readers says its cool, maybe it might be this one and I have to scratch the other. To be continued......
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
HR Tidbits
I am taking a Legal Environment in HR class and my professor shared some stuff with us that I would like to pass on with you. Especially during these trying times. She owns her own law firm and she stated that her office is busy with cases because of the firings that are going on. So here is some stuff she told us that others just might not know. REMEMBER THESE ARE JUST TIDBITS NOT ACTUAL LEGAL ADVICES; I do not need anyone trying to sue me for my bag of Skittles.
1. Look at what you are signing. If a company asks, you to sign something during your exit interview make sure you read it. That should be a given, but I know plenty of people who don’t read the fine print, uh, look at the housing situation which I still don’t understand, but moving on. Meaning if they come to you and say hey, we have to lay you off and we will give you one weeks’ severance and a bag of chips if you sign this document. READ IT and remember you do not have to sign it. Why because to get unemployment insurance you need to be laid off or fired with “good cause”, not misconduct and if your signing stuff it could be considered a voluntary termination (depending on what’s on that paper).
2. Computer/telephone usage (can even be a copier or any office equipment). We are in trying times people. They are looking for reasons to fire people and they can fire you for misuse. A family member of hers was fired in Jersey for this last week.
3. Employers are firing people for no reason, meaning instead of laying you off firing you so you cannot get Unemployment Benefits. You could be an employee in good standing and miss a day of work with a note and they can say they never received a note – No call/no show – meaning misconduct. See it benefits the employer if you are fired NOT YOU, when you are fired, they can dispute your claim.
Again, her firms biggest cases right now are employers turning down employees for unemployment insurance.
All in all we are in rough times so be careful out there. Especially minorities, there is a rise in layoff/firings and we are normally the first on the chopping block. Minorities = WOMEN, blacks, and other nationalities.
1. Look at what you are signing. If a company asks, you to sign something during your exit interview make sure you read it. That should be a given, but I know plenty of people who don’t read the fine print, uh, look at the housing situation which I still don’t understand, but moving on. Meaning if they come to you and say hey, we have to lay you off and we will give you one weeks’ severance and a bag of chips if you sign this document. READ IT and remember you do not have to sign it. Why because to get unemployment insurance you need to be laid off or fired with “good cause”, not misconduct and if your signing stuff it could be considered a voluntary termination (depending on what’s on that paper).
2. Computer/telephone usage (can even be a copier or any office equipment). We are in trying times people. They are looking for reasons to fire people and they can fire you for misuse. A family member of hers was fired in Jersey for this last week.
3. Employers are firing people for no reason, meaning instead of laying you off firing you so you cannot get Unemployment Benefits. You could be an employee in good standing and miss a day of work with a note and they can say they never received a note – No call/no show – meaning misconduct. See it benefits the employer if you are fired NOT YOU, when you are fired, they can dispute your claim.
Again, her firms biggest cases right now are employers turning down employees for unemployment insurance.
All in all we are in rough times so be careful out there. Especially minorities, there is a rise in layoff/firings and we are normally the first on the chopping block. Minorities = WOMEN, blacks, and other nationalities.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I'm Sorry
So I need to apologize. Ya'll better listen up because I don't say sorry too much (ask Mr. Conservative and my kids). I need to apologize to the knitters out there. When I first started this blog it was suppose to be about knitting and a little of life creeped up.....then a little more. I have been off topic for a minute now and have kind of thrown around doing another blog and figured I could continue to do what I do - barely knit and then conversate about my life (hoping you all didn't notice). However, with school I have talked MORE about my life then knit, which will probably be the case until I graduate(summer 2010).
Now I will tell you this, don't hold me to it because you know I am lazy and you might read a post and be like, I thought she said she was going to stop with the TMI, well damn it I am human - beautifully human.
So, Mr. Stefon and WMATA and family oriented stuff will be here with the knitting of course and my um, other stuff and potty mouth will be on the other site.
I will upload some knitting updates pretty soon. See I have some, just wasn't doing updates.
I'm out!!
Now I will tell you this, don't hold me to it because you know I am lazy and you might read a post and be like, I thought she said she was going to stop with the TMI, well damn it I am human - beautifully human.
So, Mr. Stefon and WMATA and family oriented stuff will be here with the knitting of course and my um, other stuff and potty mouth will be on the other site.
I will upload some knitting updates pretty soon. See I have some, just wasn't doing updates.
I'm out!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Teamwork at its finest
Why me? Why do I always get teamed up with losers. I mean for real, there has to be a cut off point of how many dumb ass people I have to work with in a life time. I mean seriously.
Okay, so I am in a new team and the professor chose these lovelies. This is my legal class and I tell you I seriously want to see if these fuckers graduated from college before. Someone was giving brains to a professor somewhere along the way.
My team has not met since January 12th when school started because of MLK bday. We have had two weeks off to meet as a team and discuss our problems right? Um, wrong. These mutherfluckas have not responded to emails or they respond with dumb shit. Here is a couple.
1. Can someone write the problem down I don’t have the book it cost $200.00 and I won’t be getting it anytime soon. This was sent on Wednesday… a week and a half after an email was sent to her.
The one chick in my group, who does her work and was in my last group said to me, you see this shit what should we do. Me. Shit. YOU can send her shit if you want to but I am not. Ya’ll may think its mean, but I don’t. I understand not having the funds to pay for books. Hell, I barely have any money, a sistah had to wait a week or two to get my hair perm, good lawd. This is my issue with her. You were given the assignment on Monday, you knew you did not have the book nor was going to get it any time soon, why not say that like Monday or when we sent you the email. You wait until its almost time for class and then said can you type it in the email, shit it ain’t one sentence, HELL NO. If you were really concerned you would have tried to talk to someone in the beginning.
2. I got one Gremlin on my team who did not perform last semester.
I did not tell you because I complain about every damn thing else, but this girl was also in my group and she did no work, and I do mean no work. Well she did turn in work that looked like the sentences was formed by a second grader or straight plagiarism or write how she speaks (I can do this on my blog), which we all know is wrong. We had to redo her shit to get an A, okay. We scheduled a time to call each other and discuss our project and when we called her, she said she was sleep and did not talk. Then she had the audacity to say she was going to present to the class, so I asked her did she plan on coming to class on time that day (she is always an hour OR two late, no bullshit) and my teammates started laughing. I honestly did not say it to be mean. I wanted to know, because she act like she could not meet with us and then as I said always late, hell on the first day of our current class, she was on time, but left early. I told them ya’ll think the shit is funny but I am serious. Needless to say, she showed up on time and presented OUR work.
3. Only one person is responding to emails. I sent out an email to them today to ask were we going to at least try and meet before class.
I get one response from this guy who said lets meet on campus at Shitbucks. Cool. That was it. WTF. I then get a phone call from the girl in my previous group to say that she is tired of them and the guy emailed her and asked her. GET THIS for the answers to the problems. I died laughing when she told me this and she said I am not responding to his dumb ass. I hanged up with her and checked my email and saw a email from him and this is what it said.
Hi Urban,
( Help, Help,Help)
Could you please send me the answers of the 2 Questions becuase I couldn't find it.
Best wishes
My response to him.
Did you read the chapter? Research the case on the web?
I mean seriously, what in the hell is really hood here. So far I still have not received a response from 3 other members in our group. How come I always have to be the bad gal. I am going to confront them either before class or after, because they will not be getting a grade based off of my work. Not gonna happen, the gremlin already did that last semester.
Oh and lookie what my horoscope says.
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
You'll have to perform a tricky negotiation with someone who rubs you the wrong way.
I was suppose to post a nice thing about teamwork, maybe tomorrow.......
Okay, so I am in a new team and the professor chose these lovelies. This is my legal class and I tell you I seriously want to see if these fuckers graduated from college before. Someone was giving brains to a professor somewhere along the way.
My team has not met since January 12th when school started because of MLK bday. We have had two weeks off to meet as a team and discuss our problems right? Um, wrong. These mutherfluckas have not responded to emails or they respond with dumb shit. Here is a couple.
1. Can someone write the problem down I don’t have the book it cost $200.00 and I won’t be getting it anytime soon. This was sent on Wednesday… a week and a half after an email was sent to her.
The one chick in my group, who does her work and was in my last group said to me, you see this shit what should we do. Me. Shit. YOU can send her shit if you want to but I am not. Ya’ll may think its mean, but I don’t. I understand not having the funds to pay for books. Hell, I barely have any money, a sistah had to wait a week or two to get my hair perm, good lawd. This is my issue with her. You were given the assignment on Monday, you knew you did not have the book nor was going to get it any time soon, why not say that like Monday or when we sent you the email. You wait until its almost time for class and then said can you type it in the email, shit it ain’t one sentence, HELL NO. If you were really concerned you would have tried to talk to someone in the beginning.
2. I got one Gremlin on my team who did not perform last semester.
I did not tell you because I complain about every damn thing else, but this girl was also in my group and she did no work, and I do mean no work. Well she did turn in work that looked like the sentences was formed by a second grader or straight plagiarism or write how she speaks (I can do this on my blog), which we all know is wrong. We had to redo her shit to get an A, okay. We scheduled a time to call each other and discuss our project and when we called her, she said she was sleep and did not talk. Then she had the audacity to say she was going to present to the class, so I asked her did she plan on coming to class on time that day (she is always an hour OR two late, no bullshit) and my teammates started laughing. I honestly did not say it to be mean. I wanted to know, because she act like she could not meet with us and then as I said always late, hell on the first day of our current class, she was on time, but left early. I told them ya’ll think the shit is funny but I am serious. Needless to say, she showed up on time and presented OUR work.
3. Only one person is responding to emails. I sent out an email to them today to ask were we going to at least try and meet before class.
I get one response from this guy who said lets meet on campus at Shitbucks. Cool. That was it. WTF. I then get a phone call from the girl in my previous group to say that she is tired of them and the guy emailed her and asked her. GET THIS for the answers to the problems. I died laughing when she told me this and she said I am not responding to his dumb ass. I hanged up with her and checked my email and saw a email from him and this is what it said.
Hi Urban,
( Help, Help,Help)
Could you please send me the answers of the 2 Questions becuase I couldn't find it.
Best wishes
My response to him.
Did you read the chapter? Research the case on the web?
I mean seriously, what in the hell is really hood here. So far I still have not received a response from 3 other members in our group. How come I always have to be the bad gal. I am going to confront them either before class or after, because they will not be getting a grade based off of my work. Not gonna happen, the gremlin already did that last semester.
Oh and lookie what my horoscope says.
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
You'll have to perform a tricky negotiation with someone who rubs you the wrong way.
I was suppose to post a nice thing about teamwork, maybe tomorrow.......
Friday, January 23, 2009
Part III: Still playing games
Before I write part three let me say something. Patrice makes a good point, just cause you screw your husband/whomever, don't mean they aren't going to cheat. I firmly believe that sex don't always play the part of cheating, I think its more emotional on both partners part for whatever reasons - finances, lack of commitment and other things. However, I also believe your ass bet not leave no door open for someone else to walk through and put their foot up (shhhiiiittttt).
Text Message:
Urban: You fuck your husband yet?
Godsister and this is her actual messge: Hell no and don't plan to, tomorrow mark 6 years (but they been together for 13) he deleted the pictures i ask him why he said it was selfish of him i said we could watch it together im going to buy him some movies.
Urban: Bitch you crazy, please go and buy the dvd even though he says he don't want it. I would say i don't want it either after my snooping ass mother caught my hand in the cookie jar, he probably feels embarrassed.
She just text me and this is what it says:
Sure is I think he is embarrass too, but I am okay he probably really think its nothing coming no time soon i will leave him guessing.
Hold up, what do she mean I am okay......
I will be calling her, and I am going to put here what I wrote Patrice. I think me and the husband will have to do a drive by and pick up her kids and drop off some whip cream, champagne and condoms. She thinks this shit is cute, but people get old and don't want to play no games, especially emotions.
I am going to a Happy Hour but when I get home I am going to get to the bottom of this nonsense, I do not have time to break in another man because he up and leaves because she is acting a fool.
Text Message:
Urban: You fuck your husband yet?
Godsister and this is her actual messge: Hell no and don't plan to, tomorrow mark 6 years (but they been together for 13) he deleted the pictures i ask him why he said it was selfish of him i said we could watch it together im going to buy him some movies.
Urban: Bitch you crazy, please go and buy the dvd even though he says he don't want it. I would say i don't want it either after my snooping ass mother caught my hand in the cookie jar, he probably feels embarrassed.
She just text me and this is what it says:
Sure is I think he is embarrass too, but I am okay he probably really think its nothing coming no time soon i will leave him guessing.
Hold up, what do she mean I am okay......
I will be calling her, and I am going to put here what I wrote Patrice. I think me and the husband will have to do a drive by and pick up her kids and drop off some whip cream, champagne and condoms. She thinks this shit is cute, but people get old and don't want to play no games, especially emotions.
I am going to a Happy Hour but when I get home I am going to get to the bottom of this nonsense, I do not have time to break in another man because he up and leaves because she is acting a fool.
Part II: What she found on the computer
Part II
While trying to give her an update on me and home slice convo my boss walked in my office so I had to cut it short. I then received a text from her to call her back because it was urgent. I call her back and the conversation went like this.
Urban: What’s up?
God sister: So, you know I don’t use the computer because I get everything on my Blackb.erry. But I wanted to look at some pictures so I go and look on the house computer.
U: um kay
G: So I go under the pictures and then I see a special folder.
U: kay (laughing inside because I basically know what happened)
G: Why was it naked pictures in there and videos. Some shit talking about baby oil and stuff.
U: (crying at this point) What you do?
G: I start thinking and am like I am going to kill Bigboy (her 11th grader) when he get home. I call MYBFF (her husband) and tell him that I was on the computer and I was under that folder and do you know what I found and I am going to kill Bigboy and he was like, I am on my way home, its not his its mine.
U: I AM FUCKING DYING HERE!!
G: You laughing, but you wouldn’t be laughing if the shoe is on the other foot.
U: Why wouldn’t I? I watch the shit with him, why I gotta be mad. You can’t really be mad at him. If you act like this, this is why he hid it. Man please I know all Mr. Conservative business therefore, I don’t have that shizznit on my computer, if he do, I don’t know about it.
THIS IS THE PART THAT GRABBED MY ATTENTION.
G: well, he probably watching the shit because I ain’t fucked him 2 months.
U: WTF?!? What the hell wrong with you? Are you getting a divorce? Are you sick? Is everything okay? Is MYBFF cheating? What the hell is wrong?
G: Nothing.
U: Do you want a divorce?
G: No
U: Then you better jump on that shit. Your ass is healthy, ain’t sick and you are not trying to get a divorce. You got to be out of your damn mind. Call Vicki, somebody, hell ain’t your anniversary this weekend?
G: Yup
U: Hell we will babysit. Shit bring them two over the house. I will buy you a outfit.
G: You are so crazy…girl he is pulling in the driveway now.
U: Um, okay, well you need to hurry up and undress and meet him at the door, call you back after about three hours.
WHAT IN THE SAM HELL? I am sorry, two months is too long, not to be handling your business and you want to stay married or in a damn relationship. Fuck that, I am hunting my husband down EVERY night like a mutherfucker we have been together for almost 17 years and I ain’t never went 2 months, not even when he pissed me the hell off.
This hussy had a nerve to say to me, do you think that is why he is looking at the pictures. Um, no, everything is not about you. Men (and woman) look at p.o.r.n. because they want to. Now if he is addicted that is another thing. Everyone has their own opinion about porn, so that’s up to you what you feel and don’t feel, I just try not to control other people decisions and choices (yeah I do). However, I sure am butting in about 2 damn months because I love her husband and he is a excellent guy, hell I would trade her in and keep him. He is just that sweet, now I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors except for what she tells me and I KNOW that she is the one that is the terror.
While trying to give her an update on me and home slice convo my boss walked in my office so I had to cut it short. I then received a text from her to call her back because it was urgent. I call her back and the conversation went like this.
Urban: What’s up?
God sister: So, you know I don’t use the computer because I get everything on my Blackb.erry. But I wanted to look at some pictures so I go and look on the house computer.
U: um kay
G: So I go under the pictures and then I see a special folder.
U: kay (laughing inside because I basically know what happened)
G: Why was it naked pictures in there and videos. Some shit talking about baby oil and stuff.
U: (crying at this point) What you do?
G: I start thinking and am like I am going to kill Bigboy (her 11th grader) when he get home. I call MYBFF (her husband) and tell him that I was on the computer and I was under that folder and do you know what I found and I am going to kill Bigboy and he was like, I am on my way home, its not his its mine.
U: I AM FUCKING DYING HERE!!
G: You laughing, but you wouldn’t be laughing if the shoe is on the other foot.
U: Why wouldn’t I? I watch the shit with him, why I gotta be mad. You can’t really be mad at him. If you act like this, this is why he hid it. Man please I know all Mr. Conservative business therefore, I don’t have that shizznit on my computer, if he do, I don’t know about it.
THIS IS THE PART THAT GRABBED MY ATTENTION.
G: well, he probably watching the shit because I ain’t fucked him 2 months.
U: WTF?!? What the hell wrong with you? Are you getting a divorce? Are you sick? Is everything okay? Is MYBFF cheating? What the hell is wrong?
G: Nothing.
U: Do you want a divorce?
G: No
U: Then you better jump on that shit. Your ass is healthy, ain’t sick and you are not trying to get a divorce. You got to be out of your damn mind. Call Vicki, somebody, hell ain’t your anniversary this weekend?
G: Yup
U: Hell we will babysit. Shit bring them two over the house. I will buy you a outfit.
G: You are so crazy…girl he is pulling in the driveway now.
U: Um, okay, well you need to hurry up and undress and meet him at the door, call you back after about three hours.
WHAT IN THE SAM HELL? I am sorry, two months is too long, not to be handling your business and you want to stay married or in a damn relationship. Fuck that, I am hunting my husband down EVERY night like a mutherfucker we have been together for almost 17 years and I ain’t never went 2 months, not even when he pissed me the hell off.
This hussy had a nerve to say to me, do you think that is why he is looking at the pictures. Um, no, everything is not about you. Men (and woman) look at p.o.r.n. because they want to. Now if he is addicted that is another thing. Everyone has their own opinion about porn, so that’s up to you what you feel and don’t feel, I just try not to control other people decisions and choices (yeah I do). However, I sure am butting in about 2 damn months because I love her husband and he is a excellent guy, hell I would trade her in and keep him. He is just that sweet, now I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors except for what she tells me and I KNOW that she is the one that is the terror.
So many stories, so little time.... Part 1
Lawd, being back at school has left me with less time to blog. Who am I lying to? That is not true; I have been on vacation for two weeks and then had Monday and Tuesday off, because of MLK and the Inauguration. I have been lazy as hell, and did not feel like blogging. Well that is a plus for you all because that means many stories. Let’s kick this off with my god sister. I WAS going to make a post about how to keep it grown and sexy with your mate for many years but after talking to her this morning I had to tell you this.
Part 1.
My god sister put me down as a reference; she is going for a top sec. clearance. So straight, no problems. Dude called me and asked could he come in person and I told him sure. He comes and I thought I was in the 1980’s. I am looking at him like WTF, he was dressed like a 1980’s Fuzz agent. I mean he had on a plaid sports coat, badly fitted, but I have noticed since looking at my husband GQ magazines, that MOST men don’t wear suits correctly (my boo do). He had the attitude of a 30 something year old, cool and pleasant and we joked about getting around the city because of the traffic with the Inauguration and then the Abortion protest (give the shit up already, go do something productive for the kids who are here). But the clothes. Okay, enough about the man clothes. But seriously people, they really should come up with a better system, I mean the questions was so lame. I have done security clearances for people before, by paper and then this time for a higher one in person. The questions are dumb/stupid to me.
First. Who is going to list a dumb ass person that is going to spill the beans on something? Uh, yes, I think she uses drugs like twice a week off her husbands’ ass….. I mean come on.
Second, the questions. I am not going to list all, but I will list the one I thought was the dumbest. Does she spend beyond her means? Um, what? How the hell do I know? Maybe she should not have bought that truck, she should have used that money to put her son through private school…..or better yet, the deck she put on her home, um, not so much. That question is so subjective.
Okay, will be back later to tell you what happened when I called to tell her about the results, and the guy when she hit me with some shit on the computer, her husband or son and some more shiggity.
Part 1.
My god sister put me down as a reference; she is going for a top sec. clearance. So straight, no problems. Dude called me and asked could he come in person and I told him sure. He comes and I thought I was in the 1980’s. I am looking at him like WTF, he was dressed like a 1980’s Fuzz agent. I mean he had on a plaid sports coat, badly fitted, but I have noticed since looking at my husband GQ magazines, that MOST men don’t wear suits correctly (my boo do). He had the attitude of a 30 something year old, cool and pleasant and we joked about getting around the city because of the traffic with the Inauguration and then the Abortion protest (give the shit up already, go do something productive for the kids who are here). But the clothes. Okay, enough about the man clothes. But seriously people, they really should come up with a better system, I mean the questions was so lame. I have done security clearances for people before, by paper and then this time for a higher one in person. The questions are dumb/stupid to me.
First. Who is going to list a dumb ass person that is going to spill the beans on something? Uh, yes, I think she uses drugs like twice a week off her husbands’ ass….. I mean come on.
Second, the questions. I am not going to list all, but I will list the one I thought was the dumbest. Does she spend beyond her means? Um, what? How the hell do I know? Maybe she should not have bought that truck, she should have used that money to put her son through private school…..or better yet, the deck she put on her home, um, not so much. That question is so subjective.
Okay, will be back later to tell you what happened when I called to tell her about the results, and the guy when she hit me with some shit on the computer, her husband or son and some more shiggity.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Obama is so C.O.O. and L
Man oh man. Watching him walk down the hall before introducing him. All I could do is look at his walk, he just have this walk. He is so cool, calm and collective.
beautiful.
I kept thinking of that song. Morris Day and the Time "Cool"! I loved that song back in the day when my mom and them were jamming CCCCCCC OOOO OOOO and LLLLLL!! Ain't nobody bad as me...
Click Here It would not let me put the video here.
Hope this works, didn't first time.
beautiful.
I kept thinking of that song. Morris Day and the Time "Cool"! I loved that song back in the day when my mom and them were jamming CCCCCCC OOOO OOOO and LLLLLL!! Ain't nobody bad as me...
Click Here It would not let me put the video here.
Hope this works, didn't first time.
A Change Has Come
THANK GOD!!! I am so happy this day has come and the real work will soon begin.
Peace
Peace
Thursday, January 08, 2009
And then the fight started...
I got this email today and it is probably old, but this was too funny. I needed a laugh our board meeting is tomorrow and it is crazy around here.
My favorites are in red. Which one did you like?
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 160
in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - -------- --------- --------- -----
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application.
When I got home, I excitedly told ;my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
H e said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started. ..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- --------- ---------- ----------
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------ -------- ---------- --------- --------- -------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----------- ---------- ---------- -------- -------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ ------- ------ ----- ------ ------- ---------- ------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- --------- ---------- ------ -------- -------
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather w ould be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ ------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
------------ ----- ---- --------- --------- --------- ------- ------ ------- -------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
My favorites are in red. Which one did you like?
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Better explanation
Carmell, said she didn’t understand so let me explain more why I want to hurt these people.
I have ALWAYS said I would never move into an Home Owner Association. Well that was before I went looking for a home and this was one of the better homes.
I live in a gated community, with a swimming pool and beautiful landscaping, playground, clubhouse and tennis court access.
Sounds good right? WRONG.
I thought I did all my research, well it was one thing I didn’t know about – I should ask to see the HOA financials.
So we move in and never heard anything from the Home Owner Association about paying our monthly dues of $100.00. My bell start ringing, but I am thinking they will get around to it. Nope. I ask my next door neighbor and she gives me the run down of everything, beautiful neighborhood, you will love the pool, the flowers all types of stuff. I ask her when was the last home owners meeting? She says TWO years ago, she couldn’t remember. Well that didn’t sit well with me. Memorial Day come and pool don't open AND the grass isn't cut. WTF, my neighbor goes off about the pool. I told my husband that people will get concerned then and they did. But not for the right reasons.
I went over to the office and asked about the President and all the goodies and no one was there. I wait until I see someone go in and I run over. I ask him what the dilly is and he tells me this long story how we don’t have any money because our old management company took all the money and they were fighting to get it back. Needless to say the old company took a milli. Yes you heard that right and we owe creditors out the ass. And yes you heard me say we because since we are a homeowners association they can sue ALL of the homeowners. Also, every time I would ask him questions about where is this or that, they act like I was in the wrong for asking. Once a lady asked me was I a spy for their old mgmt company because I was the first one to ever ask to see old minutes (no bitch I know my rights). Needles to say they don't care for me too much, but one thing you have to know is when I start off with something I am very professional, but I can definitely take it there if need be. Also, they like to play the game of divide and concur and they are doing very well because the neighbors don't want to be involved.
So, of course this didn’t sit well with me I asked him what is going on and all of this what is the next move. I found out that they weren’t really trying to do anything. It is amazing what a little bit of power would do for some folks. Every time I would ask him something he would go back to how no one paid, and how we were suing the mgmt company. Well guess what we got back a quarter of the money. WHICH did not pay our bills we still owed. We have no leaders at all. No true board. They claim they don’t want to be bothered, but then when you say okay, well do an election so people who want to be involved can be. They stall.
I have been here for two years and the pool has not been opened. I mean that is fucking ridiculous. They changed the bylaws (to suite them) the incorrect way and I am tired. They made it so you can’t have any meetings, if you do they call them illegal meetings (yes, two meetings happened before and no I was not involved I just got there, but I did attend). The whole time they kept complaining about dumb stuff and some of the people never paid their HOA but demanded stuff. Man that is a whole nother story because it will take longer than it already have.
They finally said they would give us an election in June. We filled out paper work nothing happened. They said they would give us one in October. Nothing happened.
We have been asking for financials and have only received them once in May I think and have been getting the run around since. I have shelled out 2400 and counting so far and will continue. I do not want to, but if I do not I can’t vote and I have to be able to vote (whenever it happens) so I can have a voice.
Only some states have laws governing HOA, so that is the biggest issue, you really have no one to turn to.
Now, let me say this too. They hate pressure, if I send emails and stuff they will entertain me for a little while. HOWEVER IT IS ONLY A FEW of us, because everyone else is tired of fighting, but damn that. For instance, after I posted about protesting, I emailed them again and asked about the election and they said they will be notifying people this week and next. So a little movement again, but I do not know for how long.
So, yes I need to do something to agitate them, but I just haven’t figured out what yet. I will give them until the end of next week though since they responded to my email.
I must say I do understand their apathy SOMETIMES, you get tired of knocking your head on a wall but money is coming out of your pocket you gotta know where it is going. We have cameras that don't work, but we have Flat Screen T.V.'s, DVR to record shit with (this is what 1 person determine to buy with our settlement), that is like having a pinto with spinners.
Did I tell you my neighbors are policemen, firemen, teachers, statisticians, work for the mayor office, lawyers, radio personality and some more. I say all that to stay these are not stupid people, these are people who are functioning, tax paying citizens, but they are burned out of fighting. I'm not.
What would you do?
I have ALWAYS said I would never move into an Home Owner Association. Well that was before I went looking for a home and this was one of the better homes.
I live in a gated community, with a swimming pool and beautiful landscaping, playground, clubhouse and tennis court access.
Sounds good right? WRONG.
I thought I did all my research, well it was one thing I didn’t know about – I should ask to see the HOA financials.
So we move in and never heard anything from the Home Owner Association about paying our monthly dues of $100.00. My bell start ringing, but I am thinking they will get around to it. Nope. I ask my next door neighbor and she gives me the run down of everything, beautiful neighborhood, you will love the pool, the flowers all types of stuff. I ask her when was the last home owners meeting? She says TWO years ago, she couldn’t remember. Well that didn’t sit well with me. Memorial Day come and pool don't open AND the grass isn't cut. WTF, my neighbor goes off about the pool. I told my husband that people will get concerned then and they did. But not for the right reasons.
I went over to the office and asked about the President and all the goodies and no one was there. I wait until I see someone go in and I run over. I ask him what the dilly is and he tells me this long story how we don’t have any money because our old management company took all the money and they were fighting to get it back. Needless to say the old company took a milli. Yes you heard that right and we owe creditors out the ass. And yes you heard me say we because since we are a homeowners association they can sue ALL of the homeowners. Also, every time I would ask him questions about where is this or that, they act like I was in the wrong for asking. Once a lady asked me was I a spy for their old mgmt company because I was the first one to ever ask to see old minutes (no bitch I know my rights). Needles to say they don't care for me too much, but one thing you have to know is when I start off with something I am very professional, but I can definitely take it there if need be. Also, they like to play the game of divide and concur and they are doing very well because the neighbors don't want to be involved.
So, of course this didn’t sit well with me I asked him what is going on and all of this what is the next move. I found out that they weren’t really trying to do anything. It is amazing what a little bit of power would do for some folks. Every time I would ask him something he would go back to how no one paid, and how we were suing the mgmt company. Well guess what we got back a quarter of the money. WHICH did not pay our bills we still owed. We have no leaders at all. No true board. They claim they don’t want to be bothered, but then when you say okay, well do an election so people who want to be involved can be. They stall.
I have been here for two years and the pool has not been opened. I mean that is fucking ridiculous. They changed the bylaws (to suite them) the incorrect way and I am tired. They made it so you can’t have any meetings, if you do they call them illegal meetings (yes, two meetings happened before and no I was not involved I just got there, but I did attend). The whole time they kept complaining about dumb stuff and some of the people never paid their HOA but demanded stuff. Man that is a whole nother story because it will take longer than it already have.
They finally said they would give us an election in June. We filled out paper work nothing happened. They said they would give us one in October. Nothing happened.
We have been asking for financials and have only received them once in May I think and have been getting the run around since. I have shelled out 2400 and counting so far and will continue. I do not want to, but if I do not I can’t vote and I have to be able to vote (whenever it happens) so I can have a voice.
Only some states have laws governing HOA, so that is the biggest issue, you really have no one to turn to.
Now, let me say this too. They hate pressure, if I send emails and stuff they will entertain me for a little while. HOWEVER IT IS ONLY A FEW of us, because everyone else is tired of fighting, but damn that. For instance, after I posted about protesting, I emailed them again and asked about the election and they said they will be notifying people this week and next. So a little movement again, but I do not know for how long.
So, yes I need to do something to agitate them, but I just haven’t figured out what yet. I will give them until the end of next week though since they responded to my email.
I must say I do understand their apathy SOMETIMES, you get tired of knocking your head on a wall but money is coming out of your pocket you gotta know where it is going. We have cameras that don't work, but we have Flat Screen T.V.'s, DVR to record shit with (this is what 1 person determine to buy with our settlement), that is like having a pinto with spinners.
Did I tell you my neighbors are policemen, firemen, teachers, statisticians, work for the mayor office, lawyers, radio personality and some more. I say all that to stay these are not stupid people, these are people who are functioning, tax paying citizens, but they are burned out of fighting. I'm not.
What would you do?
Monday, January 05, 2009
Is picketing your neighbors house bad for relations?
What it do people?!
I need your help with my HOA. They are BEYOND dysfunctional and what really irks me is these people are made up of the best that D.C. has to offer, but you talk about dysfunctional, I think a better word would be trifling or Ghet. not ghetto, just GHET!
We have been functioning without a board (3 certified retards) for the entire time I have been living in my home 2 years now to be exact and I am at my whits end as to what to do to them besides fucking them up. If I could get away with some shit someone would be slow walked ya dig. But since that is not the case and I know I would fall the fuck out when the pull out the handcuffs (Mama ain’t raise no punk, but I know my limits and that shit is jail) I have to come up with a better plan.
I want to picket some folks house, I got the idea from my husband on the ride to Costco.
Mr. Conservative: What the hell are the people doing? How come the election didn’t happen yet?
Urban: Why don’t you call them? I am tired of being bothered. I will pick up again tomorrow. I needed a break.
Mr. Conservative: Well you have been handling everything. I thought you were doing this, and doing that. You were getting this and that done? What happened?
Urban: I have been, I get tired sometimes, nothing is stopping you from doing anything. Don’t blame me for their dysfunction.
Mr. C: I am not blaming you I am just asking questions (he used my own fucking line on me, bitch). I mean you the one with the Poli Sci degree (low blow). You the one talking about it only take a few people when other things in government don’t work right, protest.
U: Yeah, but that does not involve our neighbors and its only a couple of us.
Mr. C: Man you need to follow your own advice and do something you talk all this shit and don’t do nothing.
U: Well others need to get involved, why I always got to be in charge.
Mr. C: I have heard you give many speeches to the kids about leaders and followers.
I so hate my husband when he is right (but oh so sexy). I slept and woke up this morning and was like you know what he is right. I can protest these mutherfuckers and I can get people together because everyone is sick and tired of being sick and tired because of the dysfunction which is how they want it to continue.
I really don’t want to start no shit with three damn neighbors but, whats a girl to do? I have sent certified letters, I have badgered them with emails. I have done all types of stuff and it gets them moving and then it gets stagnant, I am so tired of playing games. We have a pool and it has not been opened for two years. Any advice before you see me on CNN with a damn torn Spiderman bedsheets with words glued on it.
What’s a neighbor to do?
I need your help with my HOA. They are BEYOND dysfunctional and what really irks me is these people are made up of the best that D.C. has to offer, but you talk about dysfunctional, I think a better word would be trifling or Ghet. not ghetto, just GHET!
We have been functioning without a board (3 certified retards) for the entire time I have been living in my home 2 years now to be exact and I am at my whits end as to what to do to them besides fucking them up. If I could get away with some shit someone would be slow walked ya dig. But since that is not the case and I know I would fall the fuck out when the pull out the handcuffs (Mama ain’t raise no punk, but I know my limits and that shit is jail) I have to come up with a better plan.
I want to picket some folks house, I got the idea from my husband on the ride to Costco.
Mr. Conservative: What the hell are the people doing? How come the election didn’t happen yet?
Urban: Why don’t you call them? I am tired of being bothered. I will pick up again tomorrow. I needed a break.
Mr. Conservative: Well you have been handling everything. I thought you were doing this, and doing that. You were getting this and that done? What happened?
Urban: I have been, I get tired sometimes, nothing is stopping you from doing anything. Don’t blame me for their dysfunction.
Mr. C: I am not blaming you I am just asking questions (he used my own fucking line on me, bitch). I mean you the one with the Poli Sci degree (low blow). You the one talking about it only take a few people when other things in government don’t work right, protest.
U: Yeah, but that does not involve our neighbors and its only a couple of us.
Mr. C: Man you need to follow your own advice and do something you talk all this shit and don’t do nothing.
U: Well others need to get involved, why I always got to be in charge.
Mr. C: I have heard you give many speeches to the kids about leaders and followers.
I so hate my husband when he is right (but oh so sexy). I slept and woke up this morning and was like you know what he is right. I can protest these mutherfuckers and I can get people together because everyone is sick and tired of being sick and tired because of the dysfunction which is how they want it to continue.
I really don’t want to start no shit with three damn neighbors but, whats a girl to do? I have sent certified letters, I have badgered them with emails. I have done all types of stuff and it gets them moving and then it gets stagnant, I am so tired of playing games. We have a pool and it has not been opened for two years. Any advice before you see me on CNN with a damn torn Spiderman bedsheets with words glued on it.
What’s a neighbor to do?
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