Friday, December 05, 2008

Procrastination better watch her back!!

My mind is fried.

I stayed up all day Tuesday. Did not go to sleep because I did not finish my paper that was due Wednesday. I stayed home all day Wednesday to complete my paper. Class started at 6:10, I got to class at 7:26.

Text to classmate: Are you all still there?
Classmate: Yup, but we will be gone soon, only one person left to present.
TTC: Okay, keep them there I am running now.

Ya’ll let me tell you, I took off running like Marion Jones on the stuff. It was no way in hell, I was not going to turn in that C paper and risk getting a D if I did not get it in on time (automatic 10 point penalty if late). So all a sistah could do is lace up her boots and get ta steppin. I did not care if the campus police was looking at me like maybe they should take me down with a taser because THAT is what they would have to do to stop my big ass.

My out of shape ass, took the hill, the corner and once I saw daylight had to hold my damn side because my throat was burning and so was my side. Sharp ass pain in the gut, I hear my cell phone beep, and it is a text message saying the last person read and they were discussing the finals. SHIT. I take a breath because now I have to tackle four fucking flights of stairs. I get up top and damn near bust the door down, sit by my classmate breathing heavy as hell. My professor says, "we have one more presentation from Urban, we will let her go after she catches her breath." Are you serious dude, just let me turn this shit in. I need some fucking oxygen……..I wonder if there is a defibrillator in class?

BREATHE, BREATHE…….My paper is about………BREATHE…….HR 800……BREATHE…….The Employee Free Choice Act……..BREATHE……

Man this shit is for the birds, why he start asking me questions, because this is his pet topic, and normally my nerdy ass would eat this shit up and discuss it with him and get mad points, but now when I need oxygen quick, and damn it, there is NOBODY in my class I want touching my lips. And I do mean nunca!!

Dear Procrastination,

Leave me the hell alone. See what happens when you wait to the last minute. I almost lost a fucking kidney and half a lung running to school. My heart still hurts two days later, all because you couldn’t get it together and come up with some shit for a measly ten page paper, you better man the fuck up and get it done next time. We have a deal. You can wait until the last minute, as long as you get the shit done. Were suppose to be a team and not let people know were slipping. DAYHUM!! You know I talk about people all the time, calling them names and shit and here it is you are trying to join their fucking team or sell us out. What the fuck you let us down! Get your shit together. Oh and how in the hell did you lose three papers when you were in front of the damn computer all day and night AND you called yourself saving every page. Kidney and lungs are after you ass, we might just have to get our self together and do stuff earlier.

Of course I did the please Lawd, I will never do it again if you let me get there and turn it in on time, but of course I have been saying this prayer since I was in high school...... or about never drinking again, when that occasional hang over happen.


Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!!! Oh Lord, you poor thing. Though, had you done your work on time, this wouldn't have happened! lol, OK, I'm done being mom. That is so funny.

Anonymous said...
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Two Cables and a Frapp said...

Your description of your making it to class is hilarious. Sitcom-ish !!! In regards to your conversation with PROCRASTINATION; you shouldn't even be discussing anything with this creature. Kick it out of your life now !!! Funny !!!

Cas... said...

Keep hope alive gurl! LOL!

Now that's a story to remember!

Virtuous said...

Gurl pure entertainment!! LOL

Glad you made it! :oD

CiCi and CAJtalk said...

ROFL... you to funny girl:D