Roll over, cannot sleep, and cannot breathe. What the hell? Someone is trying to kill me. I think it is Mr. Conservative. What in the hell did he eat? Hmph, was it the vegetarian baked beans? I do not think so, he has eaten them numerous times with no problems. Maybe it was that nasty honeydew melon he continued to eat AFTER he said it tasted funny.
Oh LAWD, I need air, damn it. I have to get up and make it to the window. I do want to live and see my 35th bday and see Mr. Stefon grow up and move out. Nevertheless, this man beside me must be working on a secret weapon for the government and it is inside him.
This feels like an episode of Snapped. I am going to have to check our insurance papers because he might have upped the numbers without my notice. Damn shame. Well, I will not have to go and get my eyebrows waxed, since I no longer have any and if I had a mustache and nose hair that would be gone too.