How I feel?

THANK YOU ALL FOR CARING ABOUT ME!! At first, I was like what do they mean how I feel. They know I don't want no more kids. Do they read the crap I put up with Mr. Stefon?!?! I am two seconds from being a cellmate with Big Bertha now, I swear for Gawd I can't do time. Will you all put a lil something on my commissary?

Let’s see. How do I feel?

Well, I guess I would say a mixture of relief and then again who knows.

As much as I say, I do not want any more kids. I must admit, I was kinda excited about maybe having another bambino (hopefully a girl to even it out). Then once the dreaming was over, I know I really do not want any more kids. I am happy and looking forward to spoiling/playing/ignoring other people kids.

HOWEVER, what was surprising was Mr. Conservative reaction. See, you all know I am lazy and have been meaning to post – then don’t – then put it on the back burner – then don’t. I think Mr. Conservative wants a baby. He claims he does not, however he is the first one to fight me off to hold a damn baby. I have to wrestle a baby from his Kungfu grip to get to the baby and now he has been trying to get a little, tiny dog. Which I told him he better not and he keeps saying what will you do if I just came home with one. I hope his mother has room for the both of them. He wants one of those dogs that are so ugly its cute. I told him I might be preggers and he was all excited. I felt kinda bad, when I said, uh, that was a joke.

As I stated before I have been EXTRA salty lately and anyone who knows me will tell you I have bad sleeping habits. I can never sleep through the night, however the past couple of weeks/month I have been sleeping SO.DAMN.GOOD!! So good that Mr. Conservative pinched me in my damn sleep. I was like WTF was that, oh, I was trying to turn you because you were snoring…hmph, I wonder if he beats me in my sleep. I was so pissed, because I could not go back to sleep, once, I am up. I am up.

I have been exercising my ass off, and instead of losing weight, like I was doing I feel like I gained around the stomach area – maybe it is the weights. I have been eating EVERYTHING and am/was addicted to Shitbucks (talk about later). Again, mean as a mother to the world but ESPECIALLY Mr. Conservative. He cannot win for losing. He told me he was sorry for whatever he did and I truly felt bad because he did not do anything, he was just the closes thing to me, so he got it. I did make it up to him though, still am. I know when I am wrong, but hell.

Anywho, I think I was just depressed because of the weather, I get like that sometimes but not this bad or attacking others. For example, I came home and Mr. Conservative, College boy was in the living room, and I came up the steps, went in the kitchen, popped popcorn and headed for the second set of stairs to go to my room.

Mr. Conservative: Where you going?
Me: Upstairs.
Collegeboy: Why?
Me: Because I want to be by myself, and do not feel like being bothered.

Needless to say, they both looked at me like I was crazy. College boy sent me a text asking me was I okay and I assured him I was, just cranky. He said he hoped I felt better soon.

So, instead of being preggers, I have been a total asshole and a bitch. At least I recognize it and can rectify the problem. Some people are assholes and cannot admit it.

Do you all remember this song?

The verse:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, i do not feel a shame

I'm your hell I'm your dream I'm nothing in between you wouldn't want it any other way