Tuesday, April 21, 2009

How I feel?

THANK YOU ALL FOR CARING ABOUT ME!! At first, I was like what do they mean how I feel. They know I don't want no more kids. Do they read the crap I put up with Mr. Stefon?!?! I am two seconds from being a cellmate with Big Bertha now, I swear for Gawd I can't do time. Will you all put a lil something on my commissary?

Let’s see. How do I feel?

Well, I guess I would say a mixture of relief and then again who knows.

As much as I say, I do not want any more kids. I must admit, I was kinda excited about maybe having another bambino (hopefully a girl to even it out). Then once the dreaming was over, I know I really do not want any more kids. I am happy and looking forward to spoiling/playing/ignoring other people kids.

HOWEVER, what was surprising was Mr. Conservative reaction. See, you all know I am lazy and have been meaning to post – then don’t – then put it on the back burner – then don’t. I think Mr. Conservative wants a baby. He claims he does not, however he is the first one to fight me off to hold a damn baby. I have to wrestle a baby from his Kungfu grip to get to the baby and now he has been trying to get a little, tiny dog. Which I told him he better not and he keeps saying what will you do if I just came home with one. I hope his mother has room for the both of them. He wants one of those dogs that are so ugly its cute. I told him I might be preggers and he was all excited. I felt kinda bad, when I said, uh, that was a joke.

As I stated before I have been EXTRA salty lately and anyone who knows me will tell you I have bad sleeping habits. I can never sleep through the night, however the past couple of weeks/month I have been sleeping SO.DAMN.GOOD!! So good that Mr. Conservative pinched me in my damn sleep. I was like WTF was that, oh, I was trying to turn you because you were snoring…hmph, I wonder if he beats me in my sleep. I was so pissed, because I could not go back to sleep, once, I am up. I am up.

I have been exercising my ass off, and instead of losing weight, like I was doing I feel like I gained around the stomach area – maybe it is the weights. I have been eating EVERYTHING and am/was addicted to Shitbucks (talk about later). Again, mean as a mother to the world but ESPECIALLY Mr. Conservative. He cannot win for losing. He told me he was sorry for whatever he did and I truly felt bad because he did not do anything, he was just the closes thing to me, so he got it. I did make it up to him though, still am. I know when I am wrong, but hell.

Anywho, I think I was just depressed because of the weather, I get like that sometimes but not this bad or attacking others. For example, I came home and Mr. Conservative, College boy was in the living room, and I came up the steps, went in the kitchen, popped popcorn and headed for the second set of stairs to go to my room.

Mr. Conservative: Where you going?
Me: Upstairs.
Collegeboy: Why?
Me: Because I want to be by myself, and do not feel like being bothered.

Needless to say, they both looked at me like I was crazy. College boy sent me a text asking me was I okay and I assured him I was, just cranky. He said he hoped I felt better soon.

So, instead of being preggers, I have been a total asshole and a bitch. At least I recognize it and can rectify the problem. Some people are assholes and cannot admit it.

Do you all remember this song?

The verse:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, i do not feel a shame

I'm your hell I'm your dream I'm nothing in between you wouldn't want it any other way


Anonymous said...

Babies are very cool, but they do take a lot of work and energy. I wish I could have another one. But I just don't see how it could happen. Definitely not alone, and if i got into a relationship, a baby would put a strain on it. It's prolly not the case for you and Conservative, but I can understand where both of ya'll are coming from. Maybe nextime, lol.

Christie said...

I thought you didn't want any more, but when you came back with a negative test, I didn't want to come off all 'thank god you ain't pregnant!'...especially if, faced with another kid, you might have grown fond of the idea.

Sounds like things are working out for the best regardless. And good for you...knowing you're in a bad mood and going upstairs to be alone. Sometimes it's best to have one's space.

Virtuous said...

LOL! @ Big Bertha & beating you in your sleep! Haha!

But yeah I knew you didn't want anymore but didn't know if you had a change of heart or was unsure, etc.

Giggle @ College Boy saying he hopes you feel better soon. Hope you do too! B/c I agree I like those who KNOW they are being that way vs. to oblivious or could care less about changing now THAT makes me itch!

Carmell said...

that is so cute he sent you a text!!!awww boys are so special.... well some boys. girls could give a shit!

well i'm glad you are happy with the outcome. thats all that matters.

i tell my kids all the time when i am not in the mood and it would be in their best interest if they leave me alone. sometimes i retreat to my special place... the bathroom and just sit in there for awhile till i can cope.

hope you start feeling better!

Adrienne said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOK Now I see! Reading is fundamental! LOL

I can totally understand. I was sick a few weeks ago and everybody just KNEW I was pregnant. My baby is 7 and I don't wany anymore, nor am I supposed to have anymore OR would it be safe for me to carry anymore lol.