Friday, November 21, 2008

Did you all get the memo that its okay to wear head scarves/wraps outside?

I didn't!! I mean, seriously. I just want to know because this is blowing me. When did it become acceptable to wear head gear out the house again? I mean, WTF, I did not get the memo that said this shit was OKAY. If you are wearing the wrap thingy on your head…… I disagree with that shit too. I saw it this shit all summer and I saw this shit twice this week!! It is not okay to go out the house with that black thingy on your head!! Hell, I want my hair to lay flat too damn it. But um, if Ma dukes and them had to take their damn green or pink sponge curlers out of their hair before leaving and ditch the scarf we can take that damn wrap off our heads.

I just do not understand! Can someone please explain to me the difference between wearing rollers and a scarf on your head when you leave the house and wearing a wrap?

Are you all seeing this trend?

Speaking of mothers. My mother is too damn funny. I told you all in September when I made my list I had to tell ya some shit and since my load is lightening a little here goes.

My mother came over to the house to spend some time with us. Cool right? WRONG. That woman there!! I mean that woman right there. I tell you…….moving on. Anywho, she was over the house and I had to get some water because I just finished exercising. HOW come this woman who gave birth to me, and who told me she loved me and I make her so proud?!? Looked at me coming down the steps and died laughing. I mean tears out of her damn eyes and told me I looked like a red, Jane Fonda. I mean she was laughing so hard. If she was my sister I would have two-pieced her ass, but she is mom and I knew she would have put me six feet under. I just sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes at her and told her that she is crazy and I am glad I don’t have low self-esteem. How bout Mr. Stefon is on the floor laughing with her – her partner in crime. I went back upstairs and had to laugh to because when I looked in the mirror, I sure did look like kinda Jane Fondaish with the workout outfit.

My mothers bday is in September and I decided to take her shopping for her birthday. At the same time, I was on the workout kick (notice was), so I lost a lot of weight and wanted to get some work shirts. So, Ma Dukes, Mr. Conservative and I went shopping.

Me: Mommy let me stop in this store because I need to get a couple work shirts.
Mother: Okay
Me: How do you like this? (talking to Mr. Conservative)
Mother: He left out and is sitting at the bench.
Me: Oh, well what do you think about this?
Mother: Its okay, but I don’t know why you getting it.
Me: What? My other clothes are getting baggier and I want to get some tops.
Mother: Well your ass is just going to get big again.
Me: What? Mommy why you being a Hater?
Mother: What, I am just saying.
Me: You know you have been doing that a lot lately and I don’t like it. I want to shop by myself, so you can go sit outside with Mr. Conservative and then we will get your stuff. Oh and your getting one less gift.
Mother: Why are you acting like that? I was just joking.
Me: Mommy, you were not joking because you have been saying little stuff like that a lot lately, you would seriously think I am big and I am not. I am glad you did not say stuff like that when I was little because I would seriously have a problem.

Needless to say, I didn’t get anything because she spoiled it for me and we went and bought her stuff.

About two weeks ago I decided to visit my family – you know I don’t do that, so that’s another post. We went to pick up my mom so everyone can see her, because they haven’t seen her (or my family) in years since she has been in the ATL for the past 12 years (I think). When she got in the car Anger Management was talking about her young ass shirt she had on and she said something about losing 10lbs. PAY BACK

Me: What did she say?
Mother: I SAID (with attitude) I need to lose 10 pounds and I will be stuntin (yes she said it)
Me: Um, you might want to lose more than 10
Mother: What?
Me: Yeah, your face looks really fat, I guess you did take my advice and eat but dayhum.
Mother: Yeah I have picked up some.
Me: (feeling bad) Well you don’t look bad, I just said that because you are always messing with me, so I figured I’d give you a taste of your own medicine.
Mother: What are you talking about I don’t talk about you!
Me: **Staring into space**

My mother is not big at all and nor am I. However, I do want to lose some weight, mainly tone up, but that is up to ME. Not my mother, husband or any body else – ya don’t get a vote in that fam.


Virtuous said...

Gurl you are crackin' me up over here! @ head rags & Jane Fonda!!

Way too go on shedding some pounds!

Sheila said...

Now that there is funny... Jane Fondaish. I am so in agreement with you on the head scarf thing. I told my daughter let me catch you with a scarf on your head in public... you'll catch a bad

Kudos on the weight loss.

Carmell said...

yeah my mom told me i looked preggers the other day...i usually get mad but i'm learning how this whole PMS and bloating works and Aunt Flow is due to visit so i told her its just bloat. foul how i never had this problem before i turned 30. i could have told her she looks fat all the time but i let it go. moms will always be moms. just pray we don't do that to our children!