Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Back Down Memory Lane

Back down memory lane!! I stumbled on this photograph..... Love this song by Minnie Ripperton. Did you see the Unsung show on her. By the way LOVE Unsung. About damn time BET has an acceptable program.

I have ran into so many people lately. Of course in the beginning as usual I didn’t know who the hell they were but I did end up recalling who they were in the end. Who shall I start with…..the ex.

After Mr. Stefon award ceremony I leave out and this fool in a city truck is blowing the hell out of his horn. I look and wave back at him and kept it moving until he said. How is Dumbass (my brother) doing? So, I stop walking to look since he knew him by name means that I know him too. People started getting really rowdy because he is trying to talk to me while his ass is still in traffic. He parks the big ass truck.

Ex-boytoy: Hey Urban. What’s up?
Urban: Hey (not knowing who the hell this is). Nothing.
EBT: Damn you look good.
Urban: (not knowing what to say) Thanks.
EBT: So what has your crazy brother been up to.
Urban: Shit. Being him, you know he lives in VA.
EBT: Naw, give me his number. Man oh man. (feeling raped about now).
Urban: Okay here is his number.
EBT: I knew I should have wifed you up when I had the chance.
Urban: WTF – who the hell is this dude, because saying that means we must have dealt with each other.

EBT: Man you don’t know who I am do you?
Urban: No. I mean you look familiar but I can’t remember.
EBT: You don’t remember the kiss we shared. Damn, I always remember it and I am remembering it right now. (so inappropriate)
Urban: (blushing). Man whatever.
EBT: Eight Ball.
Urban: OH! Hey what’s up? Man I haven’t seen you in a long time. (shit you didn’t have DREDS back in the day, you had a low fade).

Why this fool grab my hand? Of course the one with the wedding ring and says, Damn. I knew it. I was supposed to have put that on there. Um, kay. Well you didn’t. I don’t remember a bad break up or anything. I know my brother didn’t like the idea of us going out and that is why we stopped….I think. But this is not the end of the conversation.

Of course he asked for a hug (free feel) and then said the same tired line when one finds out the other person is married.

EBT: So are you happy? You deserve to be happy?
Urban: YES. VERY. I am leaving OUR son school now.
EBT: Damn. So are you going to give me your number so I can call you. Get a cup of coffee or something. I RESPECT the fact that your married. Your good people. How is your mother?
Urban: Naw, like I said it was nice seeing you and my mother is crazy as usual.
EBT: Okay, well take my number just in case Dumbass phone ain’t working and if you want to call you can too. Damn, look at your little fat face.
Urban: That is not nice.
EBT: Naw, it is. You really look good girl. You know we never got a chance to do the other thing but that kiss was something else.

Um, kay at this point I am leaving. Who brings up the fact we didn’t have sex? THANK GOD we didn’t if he is stuck on a damn kiss. Actually once he kept saying it, I thought back and I do remember it. But this would not be an Urban story if funny shit don’t happen – at least through my eyes. While I am talking to him and like I said he drives a city truck this elderly lady walks up.

Elderly Woman: Excuse me. Do you work for the city?
EBT: Yes ma’am. (very happy he showed respect to her at least).
EW: Okay, well I have two big dead rats on my porch. I need someone from the city to clean it up. Do you do it or who shall I call?
EBT: No ma’am I don’t do it but if you call 311 I am sure they will send someone to clean it up.

Perfect ending. I called my mom and told her about Eight Ball and she was too damn excited. Whatever.

Okay this one was too long I will tell you about the other people later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Girl, you always have THE funniest stories. Too funny!

Yes, I know I haven't been around for a minute (no need to bring it up, lol). Not sure if I'll be blogging, just too busy with other things but I wanted to comment on this one.

Take care!