As usual my mother was right. Very unapologetic. She says to me. Oh this is my godson honey, and he goes everywhere we go. WHAT? That is besides the point. I specifically asked that hussy how many people she was bringing the night before 8+1 = 9 and she said yeah 9. But you know what I didn’t argue with her because I knew it would make no difference it would go over her retarded ass head and the boys stayed over my mom house the first night and the girls stayed over there the second night. Now lets get to the conversations.
Sister: Do you have a Bible in this house?
Urban: Yes. Why? (here we go)
Sister: Where is it?
Urban: I don’t know.
Sister: (roll her eyes at me and shakes her head) Do you two have a Bible?
Collegeboy and Anger Mgmt: Yes.
Sister: Where is it?
Anger Mgmt: I don’t know I think it is with the rest of the books downstairs.
Sister: I know what I am getting you all for Christmas.
SIDEBAR: This hussy haven’t bought any damn thing for my kids in 8 years, so they might want to continue with their old Bibles.
Anger Mgmt: You don’t have to Auntie, we have Bibles and when my grandmother comes tomorrow I am pretty sure she will have five of them with her.
Sister: Who Mr. Conservative Mother? When did she get saved? That’s good, I will have someone here with me.
Urban: Wow. I didn’t know she WASN’T saved and how do you know you will be the only one at the cookout saved. Just because my friends don’t wear it on their chest and have to tell everyone doesn’t mean they are not saved. Question. How can you tell when someone is saved? Because as I told you before just because someone claims to be saved and says it 3 million times does not make you saved. Its your actions, how you carry yourself. (She hates when I say that).
Sister: Well you see a light.
Ma Dukes: What? You see what?
Sister: You see a light over them? It burns bright.
Although my sister has turned into an asshole (actually always have been) we all have humor in our lives. That is how we communicate. I have to bring that out because I am laughing the whole time and she is very heated and now Ma Dukes the master comedienne is brought into the conversation.
My mother turns around looks at my sister and declares she does not see a light. I thought I would die. Anger Mgt and I are on the floor dying laughing. She looks at my mother and tells her that she don’t care if she sees it because 300 soldier strong sees the light. Man whatever. My mother said well its my eyes and dammit I don’t see a light. How come my sister in turns tells my mother not to tempt her, then starts talking about how she is prayed up AND have her oil.
Of course her and Mr. Conservative got into it a little bit, but that is how everyone is with my husband. He gets a long very well with my family and friends. So he helped her loosen up a little bit so we can like her a little.
All of this late at night on Friday. Okay I have to finish a long ass Federal application. I will try and post today about the crack ass conversations I had with her husband. I mean so very inappropriate, but so damn funny – well kinda.