Saturday, I cooked breakfast for everyone. Pancakes, Turkey Bacon and Eggs. Thank goodness for Costco. I did not need to buy anything extra because I had the shit in the house already. Hallelujah! It aint easy feeding fifteen people on the same damn day as the cookout. I was not trying to buy anything else.
It took me a whole damn hour to cook breakfast. Mr. Stefon came down and helped me cook the pancakes and clean up some.
After cooking breakfast, my brother-in-law, let’s give him a name – Mr. TMI asked me if I had any coffee.
Urban: No, I need a coffee machine.
Mr. TMI: I gots to have my coffee.
Urban: Well if you go get some, I want something.
Anger Mgmt: You can’t have any coffee I thought you were addicted to caffeine.
Urban: No, I am good. I told you that. That was months ago – shut up. (will explain later – a post I never did). If you go, get me a vanilla latte. I swear Shitbucks has crack in their coffee. (LAUGHING – a jokey, joke right? Wrong.)
Mr. TMI: (serious as a heart attack) It probably do.
Urban: Naw man, I was just kidding this ain’t coca cola in the early century.
This fool here said, naw sista in law your right look.
Down in Georgia this guy named Sunshine sold weed and joints. My MOTHER use to always so down and buy from him. Everybody did. Well, she got sick once and had to go to the doctor. They asked her how long she been smoking coke and she said that she don’t and they told her that is what they found in her system. Man we like to beat the mess out of Sunshine. So you see, the reason why my mother and everyone kept going back to him is because he was lacing the shit.
WHAT IN THE HELL!! All I could answer with was a – Wow. That’s messed up.
This fool told this story in front of my kids and his. I am just looking at him, like what the fuck is wrong with you. Since this is like the first damn conversation face to face, I have had with him. I am just like wow. Okay, your ass do not have a fucking filter or don’t know what’s appropriate. See, I don’t say everything in front of my kids. Their ass ain’t grown, that’s grown folk talk. Anger Mgmt was looking at me with this look on her face, I could no longer look at her because I knew I would burst into tears - laughter.
This is before the cookout – early in the damn morning, well early for them. They didn’t get up until 10.
After they left on Sunday. We were playing Uno and Mr. Stefon brought up Sunshine. I told him that it was inappropriate and do not mention his name. He was talking about him as a joke. Anger Mgmt said, correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t weed a drug and if his mother wasn’t doing drugs in the first place she would never have smoked the wrong stuff and that was not a story to tell kids or anyone. I would have kept that to myself. Collegeboy said, it reminds him of the movie First Sunday, when Lee John tells the story about how he got his name. His mother didn’t know which one was the father so she named him after both of them.
But guess what this is not the best story. His ass told another one in front of my guests. Will try to type that one later, I have a family reunion to go to that I found out about this week ain’t that special. G.H.E.T.T.O.