I suppose to have the house to myself this weekend. Anger Mgmt and Mr. Stefon went over their grandma’s house for the weekend and Collegeboy was suppose to go over his dad’s house and Mr. Conservative have to work. Well Collegeboy at the last minute decided he didn’t feel like going over his dad’s house so he stayed behind. Not a problem he is on the first floor I am on the third floor. I only seen him twice on Saturday and both times involved eating. This morning I got bored and figured I would fulfill one of my birthday resolutions (although I am 2 months behind posting) and date my kids.
I texted him and he did not reply. I call him, he did not pick up. Called him again and he said sure. I said okay let me check to see what time the bus comes because our driver - Mr. Conservative is not home. Here is our conversation.
Urban: Do you think you can be ready in 10 minutes because the bus will be coming soon?
Collegeboy: Yes, I have to brush my teeth.
Urban: Okay, let’s try and catch the bus.
Ten minutes go by.
Collegeboy: Mrs. Ten Minutes. You ready?
Urban: Yes, here I come now.
Collegeboy: Where is your shoes? Were not going to catch the bus?
Urban: They are on the way out the door. If we miss it, it will be your fault. Are you taking your keys?
Urban: Because I don’t want to take my keys.
Collegeboy: I don’t know why people wear skinny jeans. You know you can’t put stuff in your pocket. I bet you can’t put your hands in your pocket.
Urban: Excuse me. I can put my hands in my pocket. I just wanted to know if your taking your keys, because I am not taking my purse. Let’s go.
Collegeboy: Let me see you do it? Come on ma.
Urban: Look boy, let’s go, you are not my father. I can do it, I just don’t want to take my purse. If your bringing your keys that’s fine.
Collegeboy: Yeah okay, but both of us should bring keys just in case one of us loose theirs.
Whatever, that boy is worrisome. We leave and up the street we see the bus coming.
Urban: Oh well, I guess we missed that bus.
CB: No we didn’t
This fool takes off running.
Urban: Why are you running! (breathe, cramp) We are not going to catch the bus.
CB: Mommy come on, we can catch it.
Urban: My side! You know I am fat! We are not going to make it.
CB: Your not fat, come on. All them Tae Bo tapes you do.
Sure enough the bus driver looks at us, smile and keep it moving. Collegeboy sucks his teeth. I am trying to suck up air. He turns and looks at me and says, “I knew I should have ran.” I am looking at him, like damn I thought we were running. Shit, my side hurt and I was hot. He then tells me – well you said you wanted to exercise. He then starts complaining that I didn’t plan well. Is this the only bus you looked at? When is the next bus? You should have planned better? Okay, I am the mother not him AND it was last minute. I HATE IHOP. I was just bored and of course I was not cooking – remember my vacay.
We then catch a bus and then had to walk. This boy complained the whole time and told me I was spoiled by the car and that I needed to walk more often. We FINALLY get to the IHOP and of course shit don’t work out right. It took forever to get our drinks and then finally got food and the waitress didn’t think she needed to come back to refill our drinks or anything. We had to track her down and then she bought the check before asking if we wanted anything else(I HATE THIS). AND we had to get our going away boxes from another waiter because she would not come back. So, we are now about to leave and he said he will pay and he asked could I pay the tip.
Urban: Well, I don’t want to give her the whole thing because she didn’t know how to act.
CB: Mommy please pay the lady she can do something to our food.
Urban: No she can’t because we already ate, slow boy.
CB: Well your picture is going to be on a wall in the back.
Urban: I will take that chance, she didn’t work for her money.
CB: Mommy please.
Man whatever. I pay the full price, plus a little over and then we leave. When we leave out the door, a bus is out there across the street. I said to Collegeboy I think that is our bus. Why this fool take off and I am looking like OMG, my son is one of those crazy people who almost get hit trying to run for the bus. He is screaming for me to come on and I am like, um, that’s okay I am not running in that street unless no car is coming. The bus driver waited for me and I SAFELY get across the street and ask Collegeboy if I needed to snatch one of his eyes out for running in the street like that. Of course he told me he knew what he was doing. WHATEVER.
We get off the bus and have to walk up a hill. Damn I am out of shape. Thank God we started an exercise program this week that suppose to incorporate the kids, but it looks like I might need to get some alone time. So of course he tells me I am walking to slow. I tell him he is like his fathers and I don’t care. I then told him that our date sucked – of course I was kidding. Once I got in the A/C drank some waters, relaxed on the 2nd floor (too many steps to go to my room) and then made it to the 3rd floor. I sent him a text.
Urban: Thank you for going to breakfast with your old mother. I enjoyed myself.
Collegeboy: LOL. I enjoyed going too. It was nice spending some one on one time like we use to.
I heart him and will make sure we do it again. Just maybe next time plan better if you let him tell it and wear jeans that fit.