Shit. What in the hell was I thinking? My sister is coming for the weekend and her basketball team are staying at my house. Let me tell you how we got here.
First off, she was invited to my surprise party - which of course I knew nothing about. So she was talking about coming to visit and all that since she could not make it to the party. I said, well if you want you can stay at my house. Of course she can stay at my house, hell she is my sister, even though I feel no connection to her AT ALL. Except for my nieces and nephews and of course that is the real reason she can stay with me any time (I have to get something out of the deal - time with my babies and meet the last two 3 and 4 - and the husband).
However, after extending my home to her, I had to get the "Christian" thing out. Look don't tell me what to do. We all grown and I don't want to hear you saying - you shouldn't curse or drink (from a woman who smoke weed like it was a national sport and drank until passing out). Her words, "oh honey chile, I ain't that kinda Christian. I know what I use to do." She is a damn lie, but whatever, maybe we can work on our relationship. Please.
Anyway, I am feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and trying not to listen to my mother and her drama. She does not treat my mother right and I told you all this, that is why I can't do it. Anywho, I said well I haven't seen her in over four years, so its on.
THEN THE EMAILS STARTED!!!
First she emailed me and asked if I would ask Mr. Conservative if it was okay for her to bring her "spiritual son." What in the Hell? I hate when people do that shit. Can you ask your husband? Why? I am the one that will tell your ass no, even if he says yes. Ask me damn it because your talking to me and then I will confirm with him. WTF. Second. What is a Spiritual son? Is it the same as godson? Not fully understanding. But anyway, I emailed back and said cool. I could have sworn she said, that he was 20 years old, in the service, and his wife lived here.
NOW, I get another email from her saying she is no longer bringing her spiritual son, but will be bringing her spiritual daughter. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!? I haven't been to church in awhile, but dang it ain't been that long.
Oh and get this - her email said. She is the girlfriend of the boyfriend that was suppose to come she is in college and she is good people. I want to say hell no, but i am like, i said yes to the son and since he is not coming she takes his place. Man whatever.
I asked Ma Dukes what is a spiritual son/daughter? She has no clue and said my sister is crazy and still a liar (she has always been a master manipulator).
THEN, Ma Dukes leaves me a message to call immediately. I didn't get the message because of the auditors. When I finally call, she says I don't think it is right that your sister in bringing ALL THESE PEOPLE to a family function. I asked her did she clear it with you and she got upset and start screaming family is a trip, but that's your house.
Call my sister and asked her what was up and who was she bringing and she was cool, she said just the daughter along with her family.
My mother told me she is bringing a fourteen year old boy too. So, I really don't have time to be frustrated because my family of five, plus my sister family of eight and then her extra is a whole lot of people in a four bedroom house, but I was willing to do it and my mom was going to stay the night so she can help me prepare everything, but now if her ass is bringing extras I asked my mother can her retarded ass and that girl stay at her house and I keep the kids.
I don't understand people. You, your husband and six kids equal eight damn people. Why would you bring somebody else? I mean seriously. Especially since we have a lot of stuff going on this weekend. I would like to say something to her, but if I do it will not be pretty, so for now I am just going to divide her damn basketball team up if she shows up with a rack of people. And what type of bus are they driving up here? TWO extra people. I hope not, but I have a game plan set up.
For some reason, I can see us eight and ten rolling in the backyard. Oh, and she wants to sing at my uncle church this Sunday, can I call him. Um, hell no, here's his damn number.
Let me get back to cleaning up.