Monday, November 16, 2009
Bored
Mr. Stefon school called. So I put on my Superwoman cape scooped him up and used my special powers to get an appt with his doctor. Now my only problem is getting him seen in the next couple hours. Lawd. I did not bring any knitting or a book to read. I am in impatient hell with sick people. I try and avoid dr offices and hospitals like the plague this time of year because you might walk in with nothing but might leave out with something. Well at least I can smile at the cute babies.........until I hear them crying from the back.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A job is a job is a jobbie job.
I have been on vacation since October30th 2009. Today is my first day back to work. Why do it seem like I never left? Could it be the numerous phone calls while I was away? Let’s see.
Monday I didn’t receive any phone calls. It was awesome and Mr. Conservative and I hung out. MUCH NEEDED. Tell you about that later.
Tuesday, Mr. Conservative and I go shopping and are having lunch when my cellphone starts ringing. He tells me not to answer it but I could not help it because it is Shorty by Nature (the man who pays me) and I do need my damn job. Now, I know when your on vacation the phone may ring. BUT NOT FOR STUPID STUFF and what he wanted was stupid and could wait.
Wednesday, Shorty by Nature get someone else to call me and then she asked me would I be by my email. Um, NO not checking. So Shorty by Nature proceeds to blow up my phone even, WHILE I am in class. Remember I get out at 8:30. Um, yeah. Call the office back and I told him I would come to the office either late at night or early (before he gets to work) in the morning and do a favor for him. He said oh if you come later, I can come in with you – NOPE. I ain’t dumb you will give me more crapola to do.
Thursday at 5:30AM go to work and find not one that I am stupid because he STILL left me five different things to do which was NOT the one thing he requested and I was doing a favor for. Can you say WTF.
Friday, Monday, no call and if I got one was not going to answer.
Tuesday, another phone call. I did not answer nor did I call them back I figured it could wait until TODAY and it could. However, I did work. I had to do the payroll and you know I was NOT gonna skip that a sista gotta get paid ya dig!
So, I count three vacation, 1 holiday, 4 weekend days and 4 work days.
Again, I am thankful for my job, but I wonder if I can make a rule like the one we give our kids. You know the rule. Don’t come crying to me unless your bleeding or you broke something. I was two seconds from telling their ass that……….but then I remember my mortgage, how I like to eat three times a day and taking a shower is really nice.
Monday I didn’t receive any phone calls. It was awesome and Mr. Conservative and I hung out. MUCH NEEDED. Tell you about that later.
Tuesday, Mr. Conservative and I go shopping and are having lunch when my cellphone starts ringing. He tells me not to answer it but I could not help it because it is Shorty by Nature (the man who pays me) and I do need my damn job. Now, I know when your on vacation the phone may ring. BUT NOT FOR STUPID STUFF and what he wanted was stupid and could wait.
Wednesday, Shorty by Nature get someone else to call me and then she asked me would I be by my email. Um, NO not checking. So Shorty by Nature proceeds to blow up my phone even, WHILE I am in class. Remember I get out at 8:30. Um, yeah. Call the office back and I told him I would come to the office either late at night or early (before he gets to work) in the morning and do a favor for him. He said oh if you come later, I can come in with you – NOPE. I ain’t dumb you will give me more crapola to do.
Thursday at 5:30AM go to work and find not one that I am stupid because he STILL left me five different things to do which was NOT the one thing he requested and I was doing a favor for. Can you say WTF.
Friday, Monday, no call and if I got one was not going to answer.
Tuesday, another phone call. I did not answer nor did I call them back I figured it could wait until TODAY and it could. However, I did work. I had to do the payroll and you know I was NOT gonna skip that a sista gotta get paid ya dig!
So, I count three vacation, 1 holiday, 4 weekend days and 4 work days.
Again, I am thankful for my job, but I wonder if I can make a rule like the one we give our kids. You know the rule. Don’t come crying to me unless your bleeding or you broke something. I was two seconds from telling their ass that……….but then I remember my mortgage, how I like to eat three times a day and taking a shower is really nice.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Martin and Gina
OMG I know its early but the wedding planning episode with Tracy Morgan and the other comedian competing against each other is too damn funny. When Hustle man bought out the chitterling loaf I thought I would die. Martin asked that fool did he sprinkle some basil on it like he liked it AND then had a nerve to try and charge them $19,000 for fake flowers, chitterling loaf and a harmonica.
My kids says that my husband and I remind them of Gina and Martin. I can watch Martin episodes all damn long........except the ones at the end when their ass could not be in the studio together.
Martiiiinnnn, Martiiiiinn!!
My kids says that my husband and I remind them of Gina and Martin. I can watch Martin episodes all damn long........except the ones at the end when their ass could not be in the studio together.
Martiiiinnnn, Martiiiiinn!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
FO: Nottingham Hat
Needles: Size 9 dpn
This hat was very quick. I made it for Mr. Stefon. He was complaining I never knit him anything that I always knit for Anger Mgmt. So, I decided to do something really quick so I could knit some new stuff for me. This year there are so many patterns to knit. However, make sure you have some wooden dpn because the metal was way too slippery and slowed down progress.
Anywho, I knit him this wonderful hat and he loves it. Now Collegeboy wants one and he is complaining that I was suppose to make him a hat, scarf and blanket and he never got it. Kids are a trip. The hat looks smedium on me, but I think it would look cute a little longer. Again, this hat is for Mr. Stefon.
Anywho, I finished the hat in time for Mr. Stefon birthday. BTW, let me know in the post if you want to hear his birth story. I figured Tuesday has come and gone, I can tell it next year unless you all want to hear about it.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Ya'll are two kinds of crazy
The previous post is when Mr Conservative and I found out we were preggers with Mr Stefon.
Sheila and Two Cables you all would know if I was preggers again because I would ask the both of you to knit and crochet me a straitjacket ya dig!!
Knowing full well I still don't have the copper iud. I am so going to get it.
Sheila and Two Cables you all would know if I was preggers again because I would ask the both of you to knit and crochet me a straitjacket ya dig!!
Knowing full well I still don't have the copper iud. I am so going to get it.
Um, you pregnant
Not now damn it!
After each one of my children, I said I was not having any more. I figured after College boy and Anger Mgmt that would be it. I hit the family right on the nail. One boy, one girl. Mr. Conservative and I was doing the happy dance because Anger Mgmt was in school and we would soon be able to go to the movies after 6, because we actually listened when the movies said no kids after 6 unless it was a kiddy movie.
However, as you all know I am a big ass procrastinator. I schedule my appt with the gyn, he gave me all the new shizznit about the different birth control methods, and I told him I would look at it and do my research and schedule another appointment. WELL, it took me forever to decide on the copper IUD. I loved everything I heard and birth control pills were out of the question because they make me very sick.
Conversation:
Urban: Doc, we are going to go with the copper IUD.
DR. FINE: (Laughing) You cannot get it.
Urban: I thought you said it was my choice and I want the Copper IUD
Dr. F: Too late.
Urban: What you mean to late? Stop playing. Are we inserting it today or do I have to make another appointment?
Dr. F: You can’t get it.
Urban: Why?
Dr. F: Because you are already pregnant.
GET THE FREAK OUT OF HERE!!
Tomorrow: Mr. Stefon birth story.
After each one of my children, I said I was not having any more. I figured after College boy and Anger Mgmt that would be it. I hit the family right on the nail. One boy, one girl. Mr. Conservative and I was doing the happy dance because Anger Mgmt was in school and we would soon be able to go to the movies after 6, because we actually listened when the movies said no kids after 6 unless it was a kiddy movie.
However, as you all know I am a big ass procrastinator. I schedule my appt with the gyn, he gave me all the new shizznit about the different birth control methods, and I told him I would look at it and do my research and schedule another appointment. WELL, it took me forever to decide on the copper IUD. I loved everything I heard and birth control pills were out of the question because they make me very sick.
Conversation:
Urban: Doc, we are going to go with the copper IUD.
DR. FINE: (Laughing) You cannot get it.
Urban: I thought you said it was my choice and I want the Copper IUD
Dr. F: Too late.
Urban: What you mean to late? Stop playing. Are we inserting it today or do I have to make another appointment?
Dr. F: You can’t get it.
Urban: Why?
Dr. F: Because you are already pregnant.
GET THE FREAK OUT OF HERE!!
Tomorrow: Mr. Stefon birth story.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
One day down 57 minutes to go.
Lawd I hope parents come on time. But in my experience. They won't.
I didn't have my drink, however it is setting to the side for when their ass leave.
Mr. Conservative had to be to work at 5 which means he left at 4:30. Which meant the garage door opened, hence waking up the brood and they started all over again.
The alarm man came by this morning to activate our system because they left something Thursday. Well he told me it was about to go off and I probably should let the kids know. I said no, that's okay they are good. They started screaming like banshees and I LOVED it.
One little smart ass one been throwing a balloon and when the alarm guy came, he strategically threw the balloon down the steps to see who was here as if I didn't know what he was doing. But I let him do it. I then hear him give a report that its a man AND its not Mr. Stefon father.
He proceeds to throw the balloon back by us again.
Urban: That balloon is about to be popped.
SNOT NOSE KID 1: How do you know?
Urban: I know because I am going to pop it!
SNK: Why would you do that?
Urban: Because I told you more than once stop bouncing with that balloon so when it comes over here again. I am going to POP it.
I hear them outside now playing football. I heard someone crying a couple times, but they will be okay. I just told my godson watch out for your finger he has broken it before. His mom's a nurse. He will be okay too.
I know my neighbors are like who the hell are those loud ass kids running around. But its all good, Mr. Stefon is rarely outside so deal with it because I am not,my house is already destroyed. Pizza is easy, but the HAND PRINTS I just saw on the wall is ridiculous but Mr. Stefon will be cleaning that shit up right after they leave.
The alarm guy said, you must be crazy, bless your soul. I asked if he wanted to stay and entertain them, he said no thank you, I didn't take my meds.
COME GET YOUR KIDS
I didn't have my drink, however it is setting to the side for when their ass leave.
Mr. Conservative had to be to work at 5 which means he left at 4:30. Which meant the garage door opened, hence waking up the brood and they started all over again.
The alarm man came by this morning to activate our system because they left something Thursday. Well he told me it was about to go off and I probably should let the kids know. I said no, that's okay they are good. They started screaming like banshees and I LOVED it.
One little smart ass one been throwing a balloon and when the alarm guy came, he strategically threw the balloon down the steps to see who was here as if I didn't know what he was doing. But I let him do it. I then hear him give a report that its a man AND its not Mr. Stefon father.
He proceeds to throw the balloon back by us again.
Urban: That balloon is about to be popped.
SNOT NOSE KID 1: How do you know?
Urban: I know because I am going to pop it!
SNK: Why would you do that?
Urban: Because I told you more than once stop bouncing with that balloon so when it comes over here again. I am going to POP it.
I hear them outside now playing football. I heard someone crying a couple times, but they will be okay. I just told my godson watch out for your finger he has broken it before. His mom's a nurse. He will be okay too.
I know my neighbors are like who the hell are those loud ass kids running around. But its all good, Mr. Stefon is rarely outside so deal with it because I am not,my house is already destroyed. Pizza is easy, but the HAND PRINTS I just saw on the wall is ridiculous but Mr. Stefon will be cleaning that shit up right after they leave.
The alarm guy said, you must be crazy, bless your soul. I asked if he wanted to stay and entertain them, he said no thank you, I didn't take my meds.
COME GET YOUR KIDS
Friday, October 23, 2009
LAWD HAVE MERCY!! Can I PLEASE have a dirty martini!
What was I thinking when I told Mr. Stefon that he could have a sleepover for his birthday!!!
These boys! All Boys!! WOW!!
They are talking about high blood pressure and some more.
Why did Mr. Conservative have to work tonight? He will not be home untill 11. Collegeboy said he is not helping because that is not his kid. Aint that some bullshiggity!!
I must have been crazy thinking that them playing games all night would be easy. I forgot how competitive kids can be.
Is it wrong to drink a Dirty Martini while your watching other people kids?
These boys! All Boys!! WOW!!
They are talking about high blood pressure and some more.
Why did Mr. Conservative have to work tonight? He will not be home untill 11. Collegeboy said he is not helping because that is not his kid. Aint that some bullshiggity!!
I must have been crazy thinking that them playing games all night would be easy. I forgot how competitive kids can be.
Is it wrong to drink a Dirty Martini while your watching other people kids?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
FO: Irish Hiking Scarf
Needles US 6
Yarn 3.25 balls Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK
I finished this scarf two weeks ago, I think. This yarn is so lovely. It is super soft but I made if for my Aunt-in-law (is that what they are called?).
I WILL be making this scarf for me. The red looks good on me and I have a couple balls left. I like skinny scarfs maybe I can drop a cable or ..... we will see.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Why Me? All Wh.ite Party in October
Okay. Let me tell you quickly.
It is 46 degrees and getting colder. AND it gets colder on the water. Also, it is October, which means it is after Labor Day. Why haven't I learned to say no to crazy stuff.
Guess where I am going in 2 hours?
I am going on a boat. In all white. In October. In the freaking cold.
Can you tell how happy I am? Can you feel it with the words I just typed. Well Mr. Conservative is hawking my actions on the computer and I need to finish putting my all white on so I will hit you all back after I get back if I am not frozen to death. If you hear of people freazing to death in Annapolis on a boat. That would be my crew. Jesus!! No escape on a boat at all. I hope they have PLENTY of alcohol.
It is 46 degrees and getting colder. AND it gets colder on the water. Also, it is October, which means it is after Labor Day. Why haven't I learned to say no to crazy stuff.
Guess where I am going in 2 hours?
I am going on a boat. In all white. In October. In the freaking cold.
Can you tell how happy I am? Can you feel it with the words I just typed. Well Mr. Conservative is hawking my actions on the computer and I need to finish putting my all white on so I will hit you all back after I get back if I am not frozen to death. If you hear of people freazing to death in Annapolis on a boat. That would be my crew. Jesus!! No escape on a boat at all. I hope they have PLENTY of alcohol.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
You know your tired when.....
......you are typing and you say to your self.
Self, is my eyes closed? Um, Yeah. Wake the freak up before you get us fired. Who does that? Go to sleep typing.
I need a Big Ass Mocha Latte.
I miss you guys I have so many stories to tell. Maybe later when I load Irish Hiking Scarf.
Self, is my eyes closed? Um, Yeah. Wake the freak up before you get us fired. Who does that? Go to sleep typing.
I need a Big Ass Mocha Latte.
I miss you guys I have so many stories to tell. Maybe later when I load Irish Hiking Scarf.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
FO: Ene's Scarf
Yarn: Blackberry Ridge Wool 2 skeins
Needle Size: Addi Turbo U.S. 4
It's a wrap. I am a KNITTER ya dig!! I love this scarf (shawl). When I first saw Scarfstyle I just had to make this. However, I was a little scared because I was new to knitting. But watch out there now because I's a knitter now!!!
I wish I could get better pictures, but it has been ugly in D.C. and the only one home to pose at the time was Anger Mgmt and she will NOT be America's Nex.t To.p M.odel. I thought I was going to have to sock her because she would not listen and I just could not get pics. I wish Mr. Stefon was home but he was at stupid Rugby.
But anywho. My problem now is. Um, when am I wearing this? Most likely Anger Mgmt will be rocking it as usual.
I finished the Irish Hiking Scarf too and will post soon.
PPPPEEEEAAAACCCCEEEE!!! In my best Pam (Tichina Arnold)voice
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Update: Birthdays, Kids, Ene and ME
Dang it’s been a minute but you know how life is.
Birthdays
The month of September was a lot of b-days:
Mr. Conservative turned 37 on September 28th
Ma Dukes turned 50 something on September 18th
Nephew on Sept 11 and Oct 3rd and Niece on September 24th
Mr. Stefon
Mr. Stefon plays Rugby and has a cell phone (LAWD have mercy will discuss later). He got his progress report and received all 1 A, 1 C+ and the rest B’s. So right now Mr. Stefon rocks.
Anger Mgmt
Is Anger Mgmt. She is doing what she is suppose to do with school and has chosen Columbia as her college of course, however we will see at first it was NYU, then Georgetown. I just no she wants out of the house and NYC is where she wants to be located. I also overheard a conversation with her and her little friends. Now that’s one good thing a cellphone is for or is it….
Collegeboy
He is in school and I guess he is doing his school work only time will tell. I swear they should give college students progress notes. Oh well. I am excited at the fact that he will let me buy him some clothes. I’m sorry we ALL are happy at that fact.
School and Work
School is okay. I wish I was done but whatever. I am still at the same job, but I have been looking after changing my resume yet again (shut up, I had to, remember the critique from Resume Goddess) and I applied to two internships through my school and one I want oh so BAD!!
Knitting
Finished Ene’s scarf (shawl damn it). I have a couple pics I tried to take, but will take more when I get home so I can strike that shawl pose.
Me
I have been up and down over this past month. So much so, that although I did not have time to talk to you guys I picked up my old journal and used the fresh pages left in there. I even read pages of what 2000 Urban was feeling. Wow is all I can say right now.
Okay that is the end of this update. How you durin?
Birthdays
The month of September was a lot of b-days:
Mr. Conservative turned 37 on September 28th
Ma Dukes turned 50 something on September 18th
Nephew on Sept 11 and Oct 3rd and Niece on September 24th
Mr. Stefon
Mr. Stefon plays Rugby and has a cell phone (LAWD have mercy will discuss later). He got his progress report and received all 1 A, 1 C+ and the rest B’s. So right now Mr. Stefon rocks.
Anger Mgmt
Is Anger Mgmt. She is doing what she is suppose to do with school and has chosen Columbia as her college of course, however we will see at first it was NYU, then Georgetown. I just no she wants out of the house and NYC is where she wants to be located. I also overheard a conversation with her and her little friends. Now that’s one good thing a cellphone is for or is it….
Collegeboy
He is in school and I guess he is doing his school work only time will tell. I swear they should give college students progress notes. Oh well. I am excited at the fact that he will let me buy him some clothes. I’m sorry we ALL are happy at that fact.
School and Work
School is okay. I wish I was done but whatever. I am still at the same job, but I have been looking after changing my resume yet again (shut up, I had to, remember the critique from Resume Goddess) and I applied to two internships through my school and one I want oh so BAD!!
Knitting
Finished Ene’s scarf (shawl damn it). I have a couple pics I tried to take, but will take more when I get home so I can strike that shawl pose.
Me
I have been up and down over this past month. So much so, that although I did not have time to talk to you guys I picked up my old journal and used the fresh pages left in there. I even read pages of what 2000 Urban was feeling. Wow is all I can say right now.
Okay that is the end of this update. How you durin?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Weekend: Promotion, Family Day, Black Family Reunion
Hi folks. This week has been crazy. We burried the dinosaur and got a new laptop so I can now write at home.
The weekend.
Friday – Surprise party
I am crazy as you all know. I waited until Wednesday to plan a surprise party for my husband. He received a promotion at work and I wanted to celebrate it with family and friends. My husband is a great guy and I wanted to surprise him. So we did a BACKWARD surprise party. Meaning, instead of him coming home and we all yell surprise, he would already be home and as people came he would be surprised. He was very surprised and thankful. I love game night so that was the theme. I am telling you Monoply Cards is the bomb. I can’t STAND Monoply board game but the cards are the TRUTH. They also made a new Scrabble card game but we didn’t get a change to play because we were playing Life, Pictionary, Uno, Wii and I taught them how to play poker.
Saturday – Beauty shop and family day
Our appointment was at 7 am and because people were over late I slept like a baby. My husband wakes me up out of my deep sleep and says.
Mr. Conservative: Hon, don’t you and Anger Mgmt have an appointment at 7.
Sleepy Urban: Yeah
Mr. C: Well you know its 8.
Urban: WHAT?
I jump up call the chica she told me to come in and I told her I would be there in about 15 minutes. I go to the my door to call for Anger Mgmt to get up. How come this child is already up watching t.v.? She knew we had an early appointment. I swear fo GAWD!
Mr. C drives us there and in the car he says. I woke up around 5 and 6 a.m. but you were sleeping so well. WHAT?!? So he was woke. Why didn’t he wake me up?
Anywho, it was all good. We got there about 8:40 and out by 10:15. I LOVE IT!! I hate staying all day and we still had the day left.
Around 1:00 the husband and I took the family out to eat which we haven’t done in awhile and then we went shopping. THANK GOD they have cellphones. We gave them money and told them to meet us at 6 p.m. So sweet! We didn’t have to go into their stores, i.e. Game Stop and Claires. We did get a phone call from College boy and Mr. Stefon asking us could we bring them 4 dollars. WTF. We also got to look at laptops for the family because we all are about to hurt College boy. He has a laptop and do not want us to touch his at all. I think I told ya’ll he told Anger Mgmt to use her phone or go to the library because she was not going to mess up his computer. Well Wednesday, we went and bought the same laptop we picked out Saturday. Why didn’t we just buy it then. Whatever.
Sunday – Black Family Reunion
My mom and I went to the Black Family Reunion down on the Mall. I try and go every year but missed the last two so I was determined to go this year. I love being on the Mall. You look one way you see the Capitol and the opposite you see the Monument. The weather was gorgeous as well.
We really had a ball. It was so much stuff to do, however, I did notice that their were less sponsors and no vendors. I remember buying art work from a vendor years before and I so wanted to see vendors that catered to my needs and likes. But I guess it was not meant to be. Oh well we did get some complimentary tickets to How Sweet the Sound.
I really loved hanging out with Ma Dukes and she said the same as well. I know I am my mothers child but the more we are together, as much as she knows how to work my nerves, the more I realize that we are not that different. My humor, stubborn and control freak surely came from this beautiful creature which is my mother.
Monday she called to tell me that she really had a good time and that we definitely need to do it more often and we will. I need to stop using the excuse that life gets in the way. It was easy to use when she lived in Georgia but now that she only lives 15 minutes away it is unacceptable. We will see…….
The weekend.
Friday – Surprise party
I am crazy as you all know. I waited until Wednesday to plan a surprise party for my husband. He received a promotion at work and I wanted to celebrate it with family and friends. My husband is a great guy and I wanted to surprise him. So we did a BACKWARD surprise party. Meaning, instead of him coming home and we all yell surprise, he would already be home and as people came he would be surprised. He was very surprised and thankful. I love game night so that was the theme. I am telling you Monoply Cards is the bomb. I can’t STAND Monoply board game but the cards are the TRUTH. They also made a new Scrabble card game but we didn’t get a change to play because we were playing Life, Pictionary, Uno, Wii and I taught them how to play poker.
Saturday – Beauty shop and family day
Our appointment was at 7 am and because people were over late I slept like a baby. My husband wakes me up out of my deep sleep and says.
Mr. Conservative: Hon, don’t you and Anger Mgmt have an appointment at 7.
Sleepy Urban: Yeah
Mr. C: Well you know its 8.
Urban: WHAT?
I jump up call the chica she told me to come in and I told her I would be there in about 15 minutes. I go to the my door to call for Anger Mgmt to get up. How come this child is already up watching t.v.? She knew we had an early appointment. I swear fo GAWD!
Mr. C drives us there and in the car he says. I woke up around 5 and 6 a.m. but you were sleeping so well. WHAT?!? So he was woke. Why didn’t he wake me up?
Anywho, it was all good. We got there about 8:40 and out by 10:15. I LOVE IT!! I hate staying all day and we still had the day left.
Around 1:00 the husband and I took the family out to eat which we haven’t done in awhile and then we went shopping. THANK GOD they have cellphones. We gave them money and told them to meet us at 6 p.m. So sweet! We didn’t have to go into their stores, i.e. Game Stop and Claires. We did get a phone call from College boy and Mr. Stefon asking us could we bring them 4 dollars. WTF. We also got to look at laptops for the family because we all are about to hurt College boy. He has a laptop and do not want us to touch his at all. I think I told ya’ll he told Anger Mgmt to use her phone or go to the library because she was not going to mess up his computer. Well Wednesday, we went and bought the same laptop we picked out Saturday. Why didn’t we just buy it then. Whatever.
Sunday – Black Family Reunion
My mom and I went to the Black Family Reunion down on the Mall. I try and go every year but missed the last two so I was determined to go this year. I love being on the Mall. You look one way you see the Capitol and the opposite you see the Monument. The weather was gorgeous as well.
We really had a ball. It was so much stuff to do, however, I did notice that their were less sponsors and no vendors. I remember buying art work from a vendor years before and I so wanted to see vendors that catered to my needs and likes. But I guess it was not meant to be. Oh well we did get some complimentary tickets to How Sweet the Sound.
I really loved hanging out with Ma Dukes and she said the same as well. I know I am my mothers child but the more we are together, as much as she knows how to work my nerves, the more I realize that we are not that different. My humor, stubborn and control freak surely came from this beautiful creature which is my mother.
Monday she called to tell me that she really had a good time and that we definitely need to do it more often and we will. I need to stop using the excuse that life gets in the way. It was easy to use when she lived in Georgia but now that she only lives 15 minutes away it is unacceptable. We will see…….
Friday, September 11, 2009
Girlfriend with a Wife on the Side
Sunday, I go to a cookout that no one wanted to go to. Well I let me rephrase. I went because my best friend of 23 years gave the party. However, we ALL wish it was catered. Only Mr. Stefon came to the party because he wanted to play with the other kids and get in the moon bounce. Moving on.
I am introduced to these two women, and I get the evil grit down. But its whatever I don’t care. How YOU doing!
We are talking and I find out that one chica is the coaches wife and the other lady is a football mom. So we talk and chitter chatter and the Football Flousy starts working my nerves because I can see she is trying to find something to talk about and she is picking on the Coaches Wife. So I decided that whatever she says I will go against her. Just because. Also, because she says dumb stuff.
Football Flousy: Don’t you hate it when you go places and people are real quiet. Just don’t say nothing.
Urban: No.
FF: You don’t find that strange.
Urban: Nope
FF: I find it strange, Coaches Wife don’t talk to nobody she is so quiet. She just be in her own world.
Urban: Okay, so whats wrong with that. I don’t talk to people right off the bat. I normally sit back and observe people. See what’s going on.
FF: Um. I find it disturbing for people to be so quiet.
WHATEVER!!
FF: I have a question. Is game night just for married folks. I mean everyone I know who is married have a game night.
Urban: No. Why would it just be for married folks? It is for whomever want to play games. Hell a lot of times its just me and the kids playing games and every once in a while my husband joins us. But I know single people or single parents, or whomever that have a game night and it can be random or set in stone.
Ugh. I hate when single people try to make married people seem like they are shackled or a whole nother species. She told us that she is happy to be single, that way she can do whatever she want, when she want, and in the same breathe said she wants someone. Save the drama for yo momma. I can careless if your married or not do you.
She kept doing shit like that the whole time coach wife was there and then made another comment asking her how come she don’t stay at the game like all the other coaches wives and follow their husband arounds like little puppies. WTF. I figured something was up.
Coach mom left and we were left alone to talk.
Urban: Yeah, I understand what she is saying being the Coach Wife.
FF: Well, I could say a lot. No I am not going to say anything. Well. You know when I met her husband the coach. I didn’t know he was married. He didn’t have a ring on or anything. I mean the way he was acting and stuff. And she was never at the practices or the games and then one day he introduced her to me and was like this is my wife. I was like what the fuck. That’s your wife, but um, I just met your girlfriend.
Blown away. First off it’s like she was blaming the woman for his infidelities because she didn’t stay on the field and WATCH her husband – play a fake as security officer. I kindly told her that, that is not what a wife should have to do. Maybe she didn’t feel like she needed to be on the field watching her husband. I trust my husband to do whatever he says he is doing. Now, whether he is doing what he said is another thing. I DON’T know nothing about it. I also told her the other women may follow their husbands because they have a trust issue or know ya’ll biatches or better yet know their damn husbands. I ain’t got time for all that. Sorry don’t.
So, when I got my BFF by herself I asked her about the girl and she told me it was RUMOURED that they were messing with each other. He said it didn’t happen that he just taken a liken to her son. Um, okay.
But he was messing with another chick that was not a part of the team and he left his family. Funny thing is he didn’t have shit – the house HER name, car HER name. Guess who came back. Yup after playing he came back and now I hear he wears his ring and she comes to the games more often.
I am introduced to these two women, and I get the evil grit down. But its whatever I don’t care. How YOU doing!
We are talking and I find out that one chica is the coaches wife and the other lady is a football mom. So we talk and chitter chatter and the Football Flousy starts working my nerves because I can see she is trying to find something to talk about and she is picking on the Coaches Wife. So I decided that whatever she says I will go against her. Just because. Also, because she says dumb stuff.
Football Flousy: Don’t you hate it when you go places and people are real quiet. Just don’t say nothing.
Urban: No.
FF: You don’t find that strange.
Urban: Nope
FF: I find it strange, Coaches Wife don’t talk to nobody she is so quiet. She just be in her own world.
Urban: Okay, so whats wrong with that. I don’t talk to people right off the bat. I normally sit back and observe people. See what’s going on.
FF: Um. I find it disturbing for people to be so quiet.
WHATEVER!!
FF: I have a question. Is game night just for married folks. I mean everyone I know who is married have a game night.
Urban: No. Why would it just be for married folks? It is for whomever want to play games. Hell a lot of times its just me and the kids playing games and every once in a while my husband joins us. But I know single people or single parents, or whomever that have a game night and it can be random or set in stone.
Ugh. I hate when single people try to make married people seem like they are shackled or a whole nother species. She told us that she is happy to be single, that way she can do whatever she want, when she want, and in the same breathe said she wants someone. Save the drama for yo momma. I can careless if your married or not do you.
She kept doing shit like that the whole time coach wife was there and then made another comment asking her how come she don’t stay at the game like all the other coaches wives and follow their husband arounds like little puppies. WTF. I figured something was up.
Coach mom left and we were left alone to talk.
Urban: Yeah, I understand what she is saying being the Coach Wife.
FF: Well, I could say a lot. No I am not going to say anything. Well. You know when I met her husband the coach. I didn’t know he was married. He didn’t have a ring on or anything. I mean the way he was acting and stuff. And she was never at the practices or the games and then one day he introduced her to me and was like this is my wife. I was like what the fuck. That’s your wife, but um, I just met your girlfriend.
Blown away. First off it’s like she was blaming the woman for his infidelities because she didn’t stay on the field and WATCH her husband – play a fake as security officer. I kindly told her that, that is not what a wife should have to do. Maybe she didn’t feel like she needed to be on the field watching her husband. I trust my husband to do whatever he says he is doing. Now, whether he is doing what he said is another thing. I DON’T know nothing about it. I also told her the other women may follow their husbands because they have a trust issue or know ya’ll biatches or better yet know their damn husbands. I ain’t got time for all that. Sorry don’t.
So, when I got my BFF by herself I asked her about the girl and she told me it was RUMOURED that they were messing with each other. He said it didn’t happen that he just taken a liken to her son. Um, okay.
But he was messing with another chick that was not a part of the team and he left his family. Funny thing is he didn’t have shit – the house HER name, car HER name. Guess who came back. Yup after playing he came back and now I hear he wears his ring and she comes to the games more often.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Shopping with El Cheapo and Wally World Clerk TMI
My BFF decided she wanted to have a Hall.owee.n party. Love it! I told her she should make the invitations. She said, “no she was just going to buy them.” She deemed them too expensive and that we should definitely make them.
**fyi** It is a misconception to believe that it is cheaper for you to make invitations, then buying them UNLESS you have the equipment and all that, over time it will become cheaper, but the best part - you personalized your invitations and they look awesome. **um, fyi over**
We made a date to go Saturday. This hussy waits until 4:50 to start shopping and when my girls and I, get together we have to eat. I love seafood and since my family only eat fish, this is the time when I get to break out and eat everything in the damn sea. We decided to try this seafood buffet in VA. HATED IT!! Four thumbs and two pinky toes down. Will not eva, eva, go there AGAIN.
We then get to A.C. Moore late because we had to go way on the other side of town in MD, no biggie it was just us. While were in the car she is complaining the whole time. How she is not going to pay for this or that, she is not crafty, she ain’t got time for this or that. What the fuck? If you are throwing a party, you know your going to have to pay. Now you can pay a little or a lot, but this hussy ain’t trying to pay for NOTHING. As a good friend I offered my scrapbooking supplies, hell they are gathering dust unless I am wrapping a gift or for a school project.
We look at .69 paper she bitching and moaning. What am I going to do with this? How much paper do I need? I show her some examples. She liked them and STILL complained about the paper. Then have a nerve to ask me why I am not helping her any more. Probably, because I might hit her. I went to look at the damn yarn. Your saying, “Urban don’t be like that.” I am saying, this fool started yelling about the .99 ribbon. I had to break before I hit her with them damn ribbons. Then we went to Michaels, which we closed down. And again, complaints. While were going to Michaels we see a Halloween store. I said, you should go in there. She gave me a dirty look and said, we are going to the Dollar store. Okay then go, but do not be complaining to me. Nothing wrong with the dollar store. I got stuff from there before. However, we are talking about someone with Champagne Taste, she is not going to get anything in there. Then I receive a call from her on Tuesday.
BFF: Urban, I was looking online and everyone says I need to get the Mar.tha Ste.wart book it has great Halloween stuff. She used stamps for her invitations, but I like your idea better. It also had……….
Urban: I showed you stamps, but you thought it was too expensive.
BFF: No. It’s all good. I am going to use what I got. When are we going to go back and get the book?
Urban: What?
BFF: We need the book.
Urban: No. You don’t just look online.
BFF: Everyone says you need the book.
Urban: Wait. You want me to go with you to get a book that your cheap ass is NOT going to buy when you see the price. HELL no! Your ass want to go to the dollar store, when you were right by a Halloween shop that specialized in the shit. Hell to the naw! I am not going with you to get no damn book that you will NOT purchase.
BFF: Um, are you yelling at me.
Urban: PRETTY MUCH!
I know her she will not buy that book. She will ask my ass to go in on the shit. She told me when we was at the store “don’t you want to go half on a smoke machine.” Um, no.
When we left Michaels we went to Wally World and while we were there she reminded me we needed to do supply shopping for Mr. Stefon. See I was smart this year. Last year they gave me a generic list for a fifth grader. I did not know it was a generic list and tried to be a good parent and bought everything on the list. Needless to say, I paid around $200. It didn’t go to waste because the other kids used the items. We did not have money to throw out the window just because. This year I waited for the list.
Why is this hussy throwing in shit when I told her not too? She is picking up dividers that cost 4- 5 dollars because they are decorative. I told her to put the shit back. I will wait until they restock because of course waiting meant they were sold out because other parents did what they were supposed to do. Although I told her to put the shit back she didn’t. We are fighting in the aisle.
Urban: See, your ass don’t know how to act in public.
People are laughing at us bicker back and forth. But that’s us, we been friends too damn long. Well we go in line to check out and she is in front of me. She is blocking the whole counter so I can’t put my stuff on the counter.
Urban: Excuse me Miss. Can you move over so I can put my items on the counter?
BFF: No, you need to wait your turn.
Urban: You got all that damn room AND you are paying for your stuff. Move.
BFF: Lady, do I know you?
Urban: Oh you going to move your stuff. (I proceed to move her ass over) What the Hell! I thought I told you I didn’t want these dividers?
BFF: His school list says dividers and you need to get them for him. Stop being cheap.
Urban: No you didn’t call somebody cheap. This is going out of the cart and why are there two pencil sharpeners?
BFF: (laughing) Well he is a boy and you can’t expect him to just have one.
Urban: You play too much.
BFF: I am going to the bathroom.
WallyWorld Clerk: Are you two sisters?
Urban: Um, no. I dislike her, she is my friend.
WWC: You two been friends a long time?
Urban: Yeah about 16 years too damn long.
WWC: I use to have a friend like that but her husband broke us up.
Urban: Oh really. That’s a shame. I have known majority of my friends for over 20 years. My husband treat them like sisters.
WWC: I wish. Girl they started getting freaking in the bedroom and then that was it. Broke up our friendship.
Urban: (oh lawd, secrets) Whhhhhaaattt? (looking for Bff)
WWC: Yeah chile, he wanted her to act like her friends in the bedrrom.
Did ya’ll read that?!? Let me type it again. THIS FOOL WANTED HER TO ACT LIKE HER FRIENDS WHILE THEY WERE SEXING.
What type of bullshit is that?
Urban: Oh hell naw!
WWC: Yes, it got really uncomfortable. One day he said to me. Now I know your last name. Girl he had her act like she was me.
DEAD FREAKING STARE!!
Urban: Wow. I don’t know what to say.
WWC: Well my ex-husband……….
BFF came out at this point and I told her to have a nice night.
Look at BFF and said.
Urban: Gurllll! Wait until we get out the store I can’t wait to tell you our conversation.
BFF: Why are you always making friends? I can’t leave your ass alone for a second.
I guess being in Wallyworld after 10 P.M. and no customers in your line will give you the chance to talk to folk about everything.
**fyi** It is a misconception to believe that it is cheaper for you to make invitations, then buying them UNLESS you have the equipment and all that, over time it will become cheaper, but the best part - you personalized your invitations and they look awesome. **um, fyi over**
We made a date to go Saturday. This hussy waits until 4:50 to start shopping and when my girls and I, get together we have to eat. I love seafood and since my family only eat fish, this is the time when I get to break out and eat everything in the damn sea. We decided to try this seafood buffet in VA. HATED IT!! Four thumbs and two pinky toes down. Will not eva, eva, go there AGAIN.
We then get to A.C. Moore late because we had to go way on the other side of town in MD, no biggie it was just us. While were in the car she is complaining the whole time. How she is not going to pay for this or that, she is not crafty, she ain’t got time for this or that. What the fuck? If you are throwing a party, you know your going to have to pay. Now you can pay a little or a lot, but this hussy ain’t trying to pay for NOTHING. As a good friend I offered my scrapbooking supplies, hell they are gathering dust unless I am wrapping a gift or for a school project.
We look at .69 paper she bitching and moaning. What am I going to do with this? How much paper do I need? I show her some examples. She liked them and STILL complained about the paper. Then have a nerve to ask me why I am not helping her any more. Probably, because I might hit her. I went to look at the damn yarn. Your saying, “Urban don’t be like that.” I am saying, this fool started yelling about the .99 ribbon. I had to break before I hit her with them damn ribbons. Then we went to Michaels, which we closed down. And again, complaints. While were going to Michaels we see a Halloween store. I said, you should go in there. She gave me a dirty look and said, we are going to the Dollar store. Okay then go, but do not be complaining to me. Nothing wrong with the dollar store. I got stuff from there before. However, we are talking about someone with Champagne Taste, she is not going to get anything in there. Then I receive a call from her on Tuesday.
BFF: Urban, I was looking online and everyone says I need to get the Mar.tha Ste.wart book it has great Halloween stuff. She used stamps for her invitations, but I like your idea better. It also had……….
Urban: I showed you stamps, but you thought it was too expensive.
BFF: No. It’s all good. I am going to use what I got. When are we going to go back and get the book?
Urban: What?
BFF: We need the book.
Urban: No. You don’t just look online.
BFF: Everyone says you need the book.
Urban: Wait. You want me to go with you to get a book that your cheap ass is NOT going to buy when you see the price. HELL no! Your ass want to go to the dollar store, when you were right by a Halloween shop that specialized in the shit. Hell to the naw! I am not going with you to get no damn book that you will NOT purchase.
BFF: Um, are you yelling at me.
Urban: PRETTY MUCH!
I know her she will not buy that book. She will ask my ass to go in on the shit. She told me when we was at the store “don’t you want to go half on a smoke machine.” Um, no.
When we left Michaels we went to Wally World and while we were there she reminded me we needed to do supply shopping for Mr. Stefon. See I was smart this year. Last year they gave me a generic list for a fifth grader. I did not know it was a generic list and tried to be a good parent and bought everything on the list. Needless to say, I paid around $200. It didn’t go to waste because the other kids used the items. We did not have money to throw out the window just because. This year I waited for the list.
Why is this hussy throwing in shit when I told her not too? She is picking up dividers that cost 4- 5 dollars because they are decorative. I told her to put the shit back. I will wait until they restock because of course waiting meant they were sold out because other parents did what they were supposed to do. Although I told her to put the shit back she didn’t. We are fighting in the aisle.
Urban: See, your ass don’t know how to act in public.
People are laughing at us bicker back and forth. But that’s us, we been friends too damn long. Well we go in line to check out and she is in front of me. She is blocking the whole counter so I can’t put my stuff on the counter.
Urban: Excuse me Miss. Can you move over so I can put my items on the counter?
BFF: No, you need to wait your turn.
Urban: You got all that damn room AND you are paying for your stuff. Move.
BFF: Lady, do I know you?
Urban: Oh you going to move your stuff. (I proceed to move her ass over) What the Hell! I thought I told you I didn’t want these dividers?
BFF: His school list says dividers and you need to get them for him. Stop being cheap.
Urban: No you didn’t call somebody cheap. This is going out of the cart and why are there two pencil sharpeners?
BFF: (laughing) Well he is a boy and you can’t expect him to just have one.
Urban: You play too much.
BFF: I am going to the bathroom.
WallyWorld Clerk: Are you two sisters?
Urban: Um, no. I dislike her, she is my friend.
WWC: You two been friends a long time?
Urban: Yeah about 16 years too damn long.
WWC: I use to have a friend like that but her husband broke us up.
Urban: Oh really. That’s a shame. I have known majority of my friends for over 20 years. My husband treat them like sisters.
WWC: I wish. Girl they started getting freaking in the bedroom and then that was it. Broke up our friendship.
Urban: (oh lawd, secrets) Whhhhhaaattt? (looking for Bff)
WWC: Yeah chile, he wanted her to act like her friends in the bedrrom.
Did ya’ll read that?!? Let me type it again. THIS FOOL WANTED HER TO ACT LIKE HER FRIENDS WHILE THEY WERE SEXING.
What type of bullshit is that?
Urban: Oh hell naw!
WWC: Yes, it got really uncomfortable. One day he said to me. Now I know your last name. Girl he had her act like she was me.
DEAD FREAKING STARE!!
Urban: Wow. I don’t know what to say.
WWC: Well my ex-husband……….
BFF came out at this point and I told her to have a nice night.
Look at BFF and said.
Urban: Gurllll! Wait until we get out the store I can’t wait to tell you our conversation.
BFF: Why are you always making friends? I can’t leave your ass alone for a second.
I guess being in Wallyworld after 10 P.M. and no customers in your line will give you the chance to talk to folk about everything.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
My weekend
Hey folks! How the heck are you? I had a wonderful weekend and beginning of the week.
Friday. I didn’t do too much.
Saturday got the car back. Went to a horrible seafood buffet and shopping with my friend who is crazy as all get out. She is throwing a Halloween Party and do not want to spend NO damn money. Then how in the hell do you throw a party?
Sunday went to my friend house for a cookout and she can’t cook. It is well known so my godsister ditched the party and my other friend just came to meet guys. DRAMA.
Monday went to brunch with the family and discovered that something is wrong with the water heater. Not stressed. Curse a little but it is what it is. Then I chilaxed and studied for one of my classes.
I have so many stories to tell you guys that I have to break them up because it was just too much drama going on this weekend. Again of course not with me but with the folks/parties I am around. Let see what some of the topics will be today or tomorrow if I have time to post. I did tell you guys that the dinosaur (our computer) is dead and I don’t feel like brining my laptop home or trying to type on the G1 so I do have an excuse.
Topics:
Conversation with the clerk at Wally world. Lawd off the chain.
Cookout included the coaches wife AND his girlfriend. Yes you read that right. COULD NOT BEEN ME.
Friday. I didn’t do too much.
Saturday got the car back. Went to a horrible seafood buffet and shopping with my friend who is crazy as all get out. She is throwing a Halloween Party and do not want to spend NO damn money. Then how in the hell do you throw a party?
Sunday went to my friend house for a cookout and she can’t cook. It is well known so my godsister ditched the party and my other friend just came to meet guys. DRAMA.
Monday went to brunch with the family and discovered that something is wrong with the water heater. Not stressed. Curse a little but it is what it is. Then I chilaxed and studied for one of my classes.
I have so many stories to tell you guys that I have to break them up because it was just too much drama going on this weekend. Again of course not with me but with the folks/parties I am around. Let see what some of the topics will be today or tomorrow if I have time to post. I did tell you guys that the dinosaur (our computer) is dead and I don’t feel like brining my laptop home or trying to type on the G1 so I do have an excuse.
Topics:
Conversation with the clerk at Wally world. Lawd off the chain.
Cookout included the coaches wife AND his girlfriend. Yes you read that right. COULD NOT BEEN ME.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Conversations with Urb
Background: Husband and I sitting in the car. HOT as heck and we sent the little bugger Mr. Stefon home and since it is now dark we can see the mosquitoes and other flying what not gathering on the window. I am getting bored. Mr. Conservative is sitting in the backseat.
Urban: Babe - what you doing?
Mr. Conservative: Um sitting in the backseat. (he is frustrated- I am as cool as a cucumber, well maybe not cool).
Urban: Babe.
Mr. C: What?
Urban: Let me see your stuff.
Mr. C: WHAT?
Urban: You heard me.
Mr. C: No.
Urban: Come on man ain't nobody going to see you its dark.
Mr. C: I don't care about that. I don't want them things to jump on my stuff.
Urban: (dying laughing) You will be okay, take one for the team.
Mr. C: You got to be crazy if you think I am letting them bite me.
Guy who USE to live in the house at the end of the street before they gave him the boot. In the car earlier waiting for the battery jump the second time.
DumbDude: Hey man, I thought that was you. (higher than cooty brown)
Mr. C: Hey what's up.
DD: Nothing man. You ran out of gas I got some money.
Mr. C: Naw man we just need a jump we called roadside.
DD: Oh okay because I got some money for you.
Mr. C: We good thanks man.
DD leaves and comes back. I see him approaching.
Urban: Here comes your best friend.
Mr. C: Dayhum
DD: So you want me to give you the money for some gas.
Mr. C: NO, we got gas its something else. We straight.
DD: Okay just let me know because I got the money.
STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING. What part of we have money and gas don't your ass understand?! Yes I know he was trying to be helpful. But when it is hot as hell outside and your sitting in a car burning up you might want to leave people alone if you don't have jumper cables in your back freaking pocket ya dig!! Shit we getting bit by mosquitoes and some more shit! Don't tempt me.
Oh I haven't even begun to tell you the drama with v.w. that is for another post. However, they are paying for the oil pan 618 that includes the labor and drum roll please. The mechanic called me about 5 minutes ago and said it is the altenator and that will be 1150.
Fuck me very much.
Ger.man love to drive them, but a biatch to pay for. This is why we hurried up and gave the benzo back to FIL before we got really use to it. It does ride smooth though, but the maintenance, the freakin maintenance.
Urban: Babe - what you doing?
Mr. Conservative: Um sitting in the backseat. (he is frustrated- I am as cool as a cucumber, well maybe not cool).
Urban: Babe.
Mr. C: What?
Urban: Let me see your stuff.
Mr. C: WHAT?
Urban: You heard me.
Mr. C: No.
Urban: Come on man ain't nobody going to see you its dark.
Mr. C: I don't care about that. I don't want them things to jump on my stuff.
Urban: (dying laughing) You will be okay, take one for the team.
Mr. C: You got to be crazy if you think I am letting them bite me.
Guy who USE to live in the house at the end of the street before they gave him the boot. In the car earlier waiting for the battery jump the second time.
DumbDude: Hey man, I thought that was you. (higher than cooty brown)
Mr. C: Hey what's up.
DD: Nothing man. You ran out of gas I got some money.
Mr. C: Naw man we just need a jump we called roadside.
DD: Oh okay because I got some money for you.
Mr. C: We good thanks man.
DD leaves and comes back. I see him approaching.
Urban: Here comes your best friend.
Mr. C: Dayhum
DD: So you want me to give you the money for some gas.
Mr. C: NO, we got gas its something else. We straight.
DD: Okay just let me know because I got the money.
STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING. What part of we have money and gas don't your ass understand?! Yes I know he was trying to be helpful. But when it is hot as hell outside and your sitting in a car burning up you might want to leave people alone if you don't have jumper cables in your back freaking pocket ya dig!! Shit we getting bit by mosquitoes and some more shit! Don't tempt me.
Oh I haven't even begun to tell you the drama with v.w. that is for another post. However, they are paying for the oil pan 618 that includes the labor and drum roll please. The mechanic called me about 5 minutes ago and said it is the altenator and that will be 1150.
Fuck me very much.
Ger.man love to drive them, but a biatch to pay for. This is why we hurried up and gave the benzo back to FIL before we got really use to it. It does ride smooth though, but the maintenance, the freakin maintenance.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
My Car Saga
Last Wednesday was Mr. Stefon first day of school. Well, Mr. Conservative and I went to pick him up from school.
Get Mr. Stefon and go back to the car and the car would not start. Call V.W roadside and we waited about 30 minutes. Of course, it would be the day when it was 95 degrees outside. However, it was cool once we opened the door. For some reason we were getting a nice breeze, so it wasn’t too bad. Roadside came and the guy jumped the car and we were on our way. Or so we thought.
We decide to stop at the store on the way home about 5 minutes from our house and noticed the car was starting to slow down. So we decided to nix the store and go the hell home. Well, 2 minutes away and the mofo cut off COMPLETELY. On a busy street, but by the grace of God no one was behind us.
We call the guy who helped us before because he gave us his card and he told us he was on his way. How come he didn’t show up? Did not return our calls. We had to call V.W roadside again, which we should have done the first time and he wasted 30 minutes of our time. Estimated wait time 45 minutes.
Now we are no longer receiving ANY kind of breeze. We are in the blazing sun. Mr. Conservative told us to go ahead home and he will be home later. Um, you have lost your fool mind. We are in this together. However, Mr. Stefon was getting the heck out because he was asking too many questions and it was hot as hell sitting on leather in 95 degree weather and hotter in the car. I told him to walk home and Collegeboy met him. THIS IS HOW FREAKING CLOSE TO HOME WE WERE.
A neighbor family member saw us and bugged the hell out of us, another post, too much to write. All I have to say is crack/alcohol is a helluva drug. Anywho, back to the show, I mean my life.
Roadside shows up with a carload of kids. They are screaming daddy can we get out of the car and all types of hotness and he is yelling back at them. A mess. The car starts and cuts right the heck back off. Needless to say, a tow truck needed to be called now.
Estimated wait time 1 hour. We had to pay 75 dollars to go just up the hill, but who cares at this point, just get us home. It would have been free if we sent it to the dealership or I used our insurance (idiot). Well they were not there in 1 hour and V.W had to whip some but they got their 15 minutes later.
Hooked up the car and we were in it. YES, I KNOW WE WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN. Leave me alone, I know it was stupid. Nevertheless, it was crowded at the front and just up the hill.
You have to use a code to get in our community (unless the badass kids tell you or push it in for you). We get out the car to tell him the code and Loco tow driver says.
LOCO: Man, you have a leak you need to fix that.
Mr. Conservative: BULL SHIT!
Urban: (who don’t know shit about cars except that should not happen) Dude that is oil and that is not a leak. YOU did that.
LOCO: I did not do that it was already like that.
Urban: Our car would not start because of something mechanical NOT FREAKING LEAKING and dude, there is a difference between leaking and POURING and if our car were pouring oil, we would not have any right now as long as we waited for service all day.
We get in to the community with oil going everywhere and Mr. Conservative looses his cool. Which trust me really does not happen that often. You have to push him to the edge but when you do…..
Why homie say to my husband.
LOCO: Man I was trying to help you out by doing you a favor.
Mr. Conservative: Man you what?
LOCO: I was trying to help you.
Mr. Conservative: HELP! Man you damaged my got damn car. I paid ya’ll ass to provide a service, that is NOT a freaking favor. A favor is free or a discount not making shit worse. You betta get out my face with that shit.
Imagine that is the clean version. Somebody was HAWT.
Why was I on the steps laughing? Not out loud. But just laughing, saying baby calm down. But that shit was soooo damn funny because he hardly looses his cool. But I knew I needed to get him, because he was about to loose his Conservative title.
I was very calm. I called V.W roadside and reported it and thank goodness everything was done through them so they are handling everything and could see that oil leakage (POURING) was not the problem and I called Gei.co and they know about it as well.
So, we had his father benzo until Sunday, and I think I now want a truck. But, now we are carless. Everyone is dragging their damn feet. I found out today that it will cost 615 for the oil pan which we will not be paying for, but damn, when will they fix that shit so that WE can find out what is really wrong with the damn car.
Mr. Stefon gets out of school at 3:45, we didn’t get in the house until a little after 9.
Get Mr. Stefon and go back to the car and the car would not start. Call V.W roadside and we waited about 30 minutes. Of course, it would be the day when it was 95 degrees outside. However, it was cool once we opened the door. For some reason we were getting a nice breeze, so it wasn’t too bad. Roadside came and the guy jumped the car and we were on our way. Or so we thought.
We decide to stop at the store on the way home about 5 minutes from our house and noticed the car was starting to slow down. So we decided to nix the store and go the hell home. Well, 2 minutes away and the mofo cut off COMPLETELY. On a busy street, but by the grace of God no one was behind us.
We call the guy who helped us before because he gave us his card and he told us he was on his way. How come he didn’t show up? Did not return our calls. We had to call V.W roadside again, which we should have done the first time and he wasted 30 minutes of our time. Estimated wait time 45 minutes.
Now we are no longer receiving ANY kind of breeze. We are in the blazing sun. Mr. Conservative told us to go ahead home and he will be home later. Um, you have lost your fool mind. We are in this together. However, Mr. Stefon was getting the heck out because he was asking too many questions and it was hot as hell sitting on leather in 95 degree weather and hotter in the car. I told him to walk home and Collegeboy met him. THIS IS HOW FREAKING CLOSE TO HOME WE WERE.
A neighbor family member saw us and bugged the hell out of us, another post, too much to write. All I have to say is crack/alcohol is a helluva drug. Anywho, back to the show, I mean my life.
Roadside shows up with a carload of kids. They are screaming daddy can we get out of the car and all types of hotness and he is yelling back at them. A mess. The car starts and cuts right the heck back off. Needless to say, a tow truck needed to be called now.
Estimated wait time 1 hour. We had to pay 75 dollars to go just up the hill, but who cares at this point, just get us home. It would have been free if we sent it to the dealership or I used our insurance (idiot). Well they were not there in 1 hour and V.W had to whip some but they got their 15 minutes later.
Hooked up the car and we were in it. YES, I KNOW WE WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN. Leave me alone, I know it was stupid. Nevertheless, it was crowded at the front and just up the hill.
You have to use a code to get in our community (unless the badass kids tell you or push it in for you). We get out the car to tell him the code and Loco tow driver says.
LOCO: Man, you have a leak you need to fix that.
Mr. Conservative: BULL SHIT!
Urban: (who don’t know shit about cars except that should not happen) Dude that is oil and that is not a leak. YOU did that.
LOCO: I did not do that it was already like that.
Urban: Our car would not start because of something mechanical NOT FREAKING LEAKING and dude, there is a difference between leaking and POURING and if our car were pouring oil, we would not have any right now as long as we waited for service all day.
We get in to the community with oil going everywhere and Mr. Conservative looses his cool. Which trust me really does not happen that often. You have to push him to the edge but when you do…..
Why homie say to my husband.
LOCO: Man I was trying to help you out by doing you a favor.
Mr. Conservative: Man you what?
LOCO: I was trying to help you.
Mr. Conservative: HELP! Man you damaged my got damn car. I paid ya’ll ass to provide a service, that is NOT a freaking favor. A favor is free or a discount not making shit worse. You betta get out my face with that shit.
Imagine that is the clean version. Somebody was HAWT.
Why was I on the steps laughing? Not out loud. But just laughing, saying baby calm down. But that shit was soooo damn funny because he hardly looses his cool. But I knew I needed to get him, because he was about to loose his Conservative title.
I was very calm. I called V.W roadside and reported it and thank goodness everything was done through them so they are handling everything and could see that oil leakage (POURING) was not the problem and I called Gei.co and they know about it as well.
So, we had his father benzo until Sunday, and I think I now want a truck. But, now we are carless. Everyone is dragging their damn feet. I found out today that it will cost 615 for the oil pan which we will not be paying for, but damn, when will they fix that shit so that WE can find out what is really wrong with the damn car.
Mr. Stefon gets out of school at 3:45, we didn’t get in the house until a little after 9.
Guess whose back???
ENE'S SCARF!!
Yes, the temptress is back. I have been trying to get my hands on this thing to complete since I got out of school but that damn blanket took all my time. Especially, since I said I would be monogamous. That shit is for the birds. Well we are back on and popping.
School started for me yesterday. Lawd I have so much to tell you. My home computer is dead, my car is in the shop, I have gained over 20 lbs and um, I am happy. I must be having a breakdown or something. Back soon.
Yes, the temptress is back. I have been trying to get my hands on this thing to complete since I got out of school but that damn blanket took all my time. Especially, since I said I would be monogamous. That shit is for the birds. Well we are back on and popping.
School started for me yesterday. Lawd I have so much to tell you. My home computer is dead, my car is in the shop, I have gained over 20 lbs and um, I am happy. I must be having a breakdown or something. Back soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)