REDAMNDICULOUS - Fireplace continued

Mr. Conservative: (comes in the room smiling, boyfriend thinks the fireplace is fixed): Hey, what’s up? Did the Fireplace peeps come
Me: Nope.
Mr. C: WHAT? (picks up the phone)
Me: Before you call, let me tell you my convo I had earlier.
Mr. C: It’s 2, I thought you said they will be here by 1?
Me: Um, yeah and I thought you said they would be here at 9.

Mr. C calls the people and they said they are still sending someone and that the dispatcher spoke to your wife earlier and said someone was coming. (they are lucky I did not get on that damn phone).

At about 4:30 the guy shows up (ain’t that some shit).

Fireplace guy: How do you shut off the gas?

Mr. C & I look at each other with the WTF face.

FPG: Do you have the manual?

Mr. C is shaking his head and I am wondering if I should clear the house before we all get blown up. I go upstairs and get the manual because my beloved (men – yes I said it) could not find it. Took me all of 30 seconds.

FPG: Oh, okay. Thank you.

This guy does all this stuff and then realize. Guess what people? WE NEED A PIECE AND IT NEEDS TO BE ORDERED. WTF. Oh and it is not the original piece they were suppose to fix today, it is a different piece. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!!!

See I have a problem with this and I try to let my husband be in charge of some stuff, because hell, why should I do everything.

In April, we had the same company come out because the fireplace would not stay lit. Someone came out diagnosed the problem and we were like okay cool. We decided we would get it fixed later because summer was approaching.

Well, my husband scheduled the appt for yesterday and they sent someone over and now they are saying a different piece, and by the way, it now cost $165 - not free, or $119.

This shit right here burns me up. You do not show up when you are supposed to and the dispatcher is an asshole. The person you originally sent out to diagnose the problem, diagnosed it wrong and you want to hear the kicker of all this shit.

Fireplace guy: Hey, the company will ask me did I collect any money from you guys and I will tell them, no, this is a continuation of the last visit. No need to make the company rich right?

Mr. C: Um, okay.

Me & Mr. C when his ass left. Shit, he better tell the company that, because we was not paying them shit.

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR TO RE-DIAGNOSE OUR FUCKING FIREPLACE?

So, a piece will be ordered. Which piece? Who knows, when they come back (I will not be here), we may need another piece.

To be honest, the worker who came and the customer service rep were nice people it was just that damn dispatcher earlier and all was not lost.

My husband asked the guy did they have a plumbing section because we needed something done with our dishwasher, he said yeah we have that side, but show me what’s wrong I am a plumber. We showed him and he told us how to fix it. He said that would have cost us $300 +. He also told us, if we did not fix it before he comes back to fix the fireplace, he would fix the dishwasher too.

The fireplace guy

So, guess who decided to call me? The fire place company. Convo went like this -

Me: Hello
ASSWIPE: (All jovial) Hi Urban we are still TRYING to get someone to come out.
Me: What do you mean trying? Someone was scheduled @ 9.
AW: (Still smiling) Well, we are sending someone.
Me: At what time?
AW: (Still freaking smiling - can you tell I am getting heated) Well, soon maybe around 1
Me: Well, if it is going to be after 1 I need to know.
AW: Well, I always call before hand. I am trying to get them for free.

Commercial interruption: Per husband, I am suppose to pay $119 NOT something for free.

Me: What do you mean you are trying to get someone for free? I am paying for the service.
AW: WHAT ARE YOU GETTING DONE?
Me: Some piece or something is suppose to be replaced (remember the husband scheduled it).
AW:WOULDN'T IT MAKE SENSE THAT YOU HAVE THE PIECE FIRST, BEFORE WE COME OUT.

Me: (EYEROLL and trying to stay calm because the piece do not grow on trees - that is why we called they are suppose to bring the fucking piece). Sir, wouldn't it make sense that you all would have figured this shit out before you scheduled the appointment yesterday. I would think, that when my husband called and made the appointment you all discussed all this, BECAUSE HE WAS GIVEN A PRICE.

AW: (no longer freaking smiling) - let me pull the ticket and call you back.
Me: Yeah, you do that.

DAYHUM!!! We have used these people before with no problems. But, wtf, where is customer service hiding? I mean, dayhum, why me.

How come........

I took off today for some ME time and I now have duties. I chose the wrong day to be off. First off Mr. Stefon is home with me asking me a million questions. Why is he home you ask? HE is suppose to be sick and his father told him he could stay home. I told his father that his ass is not that sick that he needs to stay home. Mr. Conservative tried to tell me he had a fever - man whatever, the school has nurses. Secondly, if he is so sick how come he keep asking me questions? I thought he said his throat hurt.

I also have to listen out for the UPS guy because College Boy is having his books and some other stuff delivered.

Oh and my husband scheduled the fireplace guy. Ain't that some ish, he was off Tuesday and Wednesday. Anywho he was "suppose" to have been here since 9:00 and it is now 11:04. WTF.

Prayer to the DNC

Ya'll know my other baby is politics and I said I would try not to discuss it here, but I just have to vent. I have been conversing with Christie about the happenings over at the DNC. Great conversation btw. But after going to lunch and reading the coverage, it just frustrated me and I just can't get it off my mind, so I decided to talk with you gals.

Will someone in the Democratic Party get some balls or something before we lose this thing!!! I am not saying you have to sling mud, but the Republicans are ready to spank that ass. Like it has been doing.

Let me tell you a little something about our friends the RNC. THEY DON'T CARE. They don't play by the rules and they are straight gully. Look at our president. You got to respect someone who says. I do not like gay people. And I believe a marriage should be between a man and a woman. Therefore vote for me and I will ensure all the "Christian" values. Well, you mutherfluckas voted on that a lone and THAT is how he got in again. I am not saying he is right by a long shot, what I am saying is he told you what he was going to do and he did it. The DNC is tap dancing, take a stand and shoot for the stars. DAMN.

Please do me a favor. As I said before, the Presidential election is not as important as your local elections. What I mean by that, because I know some people are saying, what? why is Urban saying that? is she trying to tell people not to vote. My answer to you is: Yes, you need to vote in your presidential elections. However, many folks believe that is the only election they need to participate in and that is not the case. Who takes after you every damn day - your local person. When it was a vote for war did the president go over there all by his lonesome? He sure as hell did not. He needed votes from who? YOUR STATESMAN. THAT is what I mean when I say your local election is the most important. It really is people because at the end of the day, they are the ones making decisions about you and yours.

Make sure if your state is renewing someone your ass is there to vote him/her in. I am just looking for some DNC insurance, because I am scared, as I was 4 years ago, when I knew he would be voted back in again.

I have been fed up with the DNC for MORE than the past 8 years. There has been numerous times the RNC could have been called out on shit they did and the DNC said nothing. WHY! When we mess up, you better believe they did something about it. Remember Bill and Monica, man they were all over that. Well, the last 10 or 12 sexual allegations were against the RNC (except for a couple dems) and nothing really said.

Don't get me wrong the speeches so far has been cool and all, but cool is not whats going to cut it.
You have to be ready to FIGHT and that does not mean slinging mud, but it does mean fight and buddy boy if you do not fight and use all your weapons, you are going to be going on tour with my main man Al.

We all have opinions and I am cool with that, so feel free to express yourself and tell me how you feel. Republicans or Democrats.

peace (relax.relate.release)

Buying Textbooks

Now, I am not new to the college game. I know books cost but DAMN!!!!!! I went searching online to get a better price, I mean that is what I normally do, but some people are crazy. Now, one of my books cost 133.00 new. So I run across this glowing description on Bamazon:

Most Content Pages Missing;Some Bent Pages;Frayed Corners/Bent Cover.

Missing pages and then some. So if your like me you would think this book would be WAY cheaper. Well, like me your ass would be wrong. They want $124.00 - Hell for $9 dollars more you can have a fresh book.

ARE YOU KIDDING - THE BOOK IS MESSED UP - missing pages dude!!

I just had to share.

Back to school.......for me too.

Wow!!!



Sunday we set down for a big dinner (Roast beef, fresh green beans w/smoked turkey, seasoned rice and texas toast) to talk about the new school year. Expectations, fears and myths.

The kids started school yesterday, except College Boy who do not start until Wednesday. He had to register - which as I told you gals, he had to do by himself this year. Well, I might as well been there because he called me a million and one times. I almost blocked his damn number. But, what's a parent to do. I would have been mad if he did not. Mr. Stefon is starting the 5th grade and Anger Mgmt is starting high school. And yes, I took pictures. It almost didn't happen because they started with the don't touch me, do I have to take a picture with him/her. I tell you.

My first day was yesterday and I thought I had everything planned out. Was a little nervous starting my first day, but everything was fine. I thought Graduate school would be so hard and rigid, but so far, what is being asked of us is no more than what Undergrad required. Have the same Know it all and students repeating the same question, while the rest of the class look at them like were you here in class with the rest of us? As usual there will be 2 TEAM projects. I so HATE team projects, I always get the damn loser. I already know a couple people I do not want on my team.

All in all, I liked my first day. I like the professor teaching style (so far). Only problem, I miss my family, especially Mr. Stefon. When I got home at 9:45 p.m. College boy came and talked to me - he wanted to know how my first day went (see why I love this boy), so we talked and then he said - oh, Mr. Stefon, said to tell you good night. I think me being gone will be the hardest on him, but I am only gone 2 days out of the week - taking two classes (trying to justify). He will be okay.

The Weekend

This weekend was great. As usual, we ditched the kids after taking them shopping for school supplies and hung out with my god-sister and her husband. They wanted to try a new restaurant and the husband and I decided to take them to P.F. Chang.

They loved the place. The food was great, we ordered a variety of things Moo Goo Gai Pan, Kung Pao Shrimp and Scallops, Orange Chicken and Cantonese style Shrimp and Scallops. To be honest the hits were the appetizers – crab wonton, chicken lettuce wrap (my fave), spring rolls and every one’s new favorite – drum roll please – crispy green beans. Man they are so good, we were all sharing and did not want to taste my husband green beans, although the waiter told us they were the best thing on the menu. We all tried one and were hooked. I mean really, REALLY, good ya’ll. If you ever get a chance, please get them, you will not be disappointed. After all that food we walked around Columbia Mall, because we were greedy and wanted some Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory (that is the ONLY thing I buy from them - the rest is garbage). The husband and I bought a whole cheesecake to get back in good with the kids.

Hold up, I knew it was something I had to tell you folks. While we were waiting at P.F. Change for our table, a couple with their baby – I say, about six – seven months were sitting beside us and the baby needed a diaper change. No problem right. I mean its natural we all have to go. But here is the kicker. Why were they trying to change the baby in the stroller in the front, were everyone is waiting INSIDE the place. My god-sister and I are giving each other the eye like do you see this ish? Then the husband gets up and instead of changing the baby there, he goes OUTSIDE????? WTF? The wife, is just sitting there, talking about, you need this (wipes) don’t you. WHAT!!! People, if you have kids or going to have them, the bathroom have changing tables (even men bathrooms now), and if they do not you can change them in the stroller, like he was doing, just crazy.

Knit news!!

I finally completed chart one of Ene and am moving on to chart two.

I HAVE A 19 YEAR OLD!!

Nineteen years and 1 day ago (Aug 21, 1989). I gave birth to a beautiful, extra long, big headed baby boy. He has been my pride and joy and I am so damn glad he allows me to be his mommy and use him as a science project.

Because I was being bad yesterday (clears throat), I did not get a chance to write my letter to him, so I plan on doing that at lunch, I believe I told you all before, but just in case I did not. I write a letter to my kids on their birthdays and tell them all the positives of the past year and then I (lay the hammer. Sike.) tell them what they need to improve on (Mr. Stefon’ will be four pages this year). My baby is 19. He is just a well rounded, boy – oh man, with a great heart and responsible. He just makes me so proud and makes me smile. I remember when he was little he would say, mommy you look so pretty today and I would look at him (knowing he is lying because I just woke up), smile and say thank you. Although, Mr. Conservative would make kissing noise and call him a kiss ass.

I keep saying I will tell you the story of my 19 year old, but I am a procrastinator and figured I would type it yesterday, well, we all know that did not happen. Maybe next week.

In addition, if you are in D.C., M.D. or V.A. there is a big block party today on U Street and some other happenings this weekend for Ben’s Chili Bowl, 50^th Anniversary. If you are ever in D.C., you have to hit up Ben’s Chili Bowl on the famed U Street aka Black Broadway. I will be meeting my mom and Mr. Stefon at lunchtime to take in the festivities. My order is always the turkey burger with vegetarian chili – AWESOME, my girlfriend, love their regular burgers and half smokes, with a Strawberry milkshake.

Hookie & Jealousy

Got up to go to work yesterday and was not feeling it. My mom and daughter was walking with me to the metro because they were going to spend a grip to get their hair braided and I was the unlucky one going to work.

WELL, that changed. Got on the bus and my phone rang, I was by the Capitol (beautiful up close). Anywho, see it’s Mr. Conservative, so I answer.

Me: (whispering, I hate talking on the bus) Hello?
Mr. Conservative: What’s up? Did you leave for work yet?
Me: Yes (why you clocking my time and I left out late, so dumb question - see my mindset - don't judge me).
Mr. C: Oh, damn, I was hoping to catch you, I am leaving work right now (unexpected), so I was going to tell you to stay home.
Me: Um, I am right up the street from you at the Capitol, I CAN GET OFF THE BUS.
Mr. C: Get off the damn bus, I am turning around and on my way.
Me: Cool
Me: I ring the bell to get off. Why the lady sitting next to me act like she did not see me ring the bell and did not move? UM, EXCUSE ME. (why she suck her teeth). Whatever, do not care today.
Mr. C: Scoops me up and we hang out and um, yeah we hung out.

Oh, did I tell you my mom have been over my house for a week? I cannot have relations why her ass is in the house. SO, daddy put in some work. THANK GOODNESS FOR CELL PHONES other than that I hate them.

I did not knit yesterday at all. Why? Wanted the husband to know he was Numero Uno in my life. Why? Because he is jealous of my craft, can not believe it but it is true. How do I know?

Clue #1: In the car on the way to the Wine Festival, I am looking around for my knitting and said out loud.

Me: Damn, I left my knitting on the couch.
Mr. C: Good
Me: What?
Mr. C: I said, good. I am tired of you with that damn yarn every where.
Girlfriend: Dying laughing.
Me. (smirking because it is cute): Boy please, I guess I have to talk to you two. I was trying to avoid that.

Clue #2: We were going to eat.
Me: I guess, I can leave this (my project) in the car.
Mr. C: Please.
Me: Hold up, that is the second time you said something about my yarn. I ain't mad at football.
Mr. C: Yeah, because you like football and you love that yarn more than you love me. I talk to you and you don't listen, you just keep knitting with your head down. (I do not have to look at you to HEAR you, you only need my ears, not my eyes.)
Me: What, boy stop. You know that yarn can't do me like you do.
Mr. C: Whatever (smiling).

Best part. He is recognizing that I like to knit and he also, commented on my CPH about how nice it is AND he has picked out a project he wants me to knit. I am loving it because I believe he thought it would be a passing fancy and it is not.

Moderne Log Blanket & Ene's Scarf

Moderne Log Blanket (Yes it is spelled right)

The Modenre Log Blanket for College Boy has been kicked to the curb. I love the pattern. Well, I do not know if I should say love with all that damn garter stitch on size 6 needles. I will say I like the FINISHED blankets I have seen. The yarn I chose to knit the blanket with is Knitpick Swish Superwash. It was chosen because it is machine washable – remember this is for College Boy, he will be 19 in two days (insane). Do not want crazy mystery smell in the house.

The yarn is not doing it for me. It seems too thin, airy like. Me no likey. His room is on the first floor and it gets ICE COLD. Which is crazy to me because it is not a basement (growing up we had a basement and it froze us), first floor is not underground. Yes, I know temperature rises, but still. Anywho, pattern and yarn does not mix, so I need to find out what I am going to do with 9 balls of Superwash in different shades of blue. It should not take me too long, the kids’ favorite color is blue, I am thinking of a scarf for Anger Mgmt. Look at me growing up in the knit world, I so would have knit this thing in the beginning because I wanted a FO even if I did not like it, all because I have to prove to my self I can finish what I start. The Hell with that, after Starsky, no sir, I know when to say uncle.

Ene’s Scarf is back!

Yes, the little seductress kept calling my name and I just had to answer. I was so ready to feel her up again, but did not feel like doing the 375 double stranded knitted cast-on. She is a looker. Man she kept batting her eyes and eyeballing me. Finally, I said you know what, its on like butter popcorn. I got the Addi’s and the Blackberry Ridge Yarn, and told her to back that thang up! This is my third try, so her ass better put out or she is out. I want all the YO and Slip Stitch, Knit Two Together and Then Slip Stitch Over Love – WHAT!! O-KAY-KAY-KAY (in my best Little John voice).

I am ready – ya heard!!! (um, can you tell?)

I am on chart 1, row 9 yeah me!

Tropic Thunder

OMG!!! Let me just tell you that this movie is NOT for little kids. The husband and I went to see it and could not believe the parents with their kids. I mean the words they use people in some scenes - I cringed for the parents. We told our kids we needed to see it first since it IS Rated R. Well we told them hell no.

This movie is too freaking funny and no he is not in black face. I know a lot of people had issues thinking he was making fun of black people but he was not. I know disabled people are boycotting - now they may have a reason..... There are a lot of people in this movie. Everyone was excellent, but my favorite two are Tom Cruise and THE Robert Downey Jr (I have a crush on this man - have you seen him on GQ, couple covers back with the gray hair - a fine bottle of red wine).

I can't wait until others have seen it so we can discuss. Is it worth the 8.25 matinee admission? Um, if nothing else is out and you want to laugh, yes. But some parts were like WOW.

Okay, gotta get back to the debate, of why they are not going to see this movie. Amazing, they think they can wear us down. Now, THAT is what's hilarious.

Urban's Slouchy Beret

Urban's Slouchy Beret

Pattern: Gwen's Slouchy Beret by Lauren
Needles: 7 & 9 16 inch Circulars
Yarn: Paton's Classic Merino
Color: Paprika

Do you see the 70's vibe w/the shades and hoops? I am channeling my inner Rasta.

I LOVE my new hat!!! Just LOVE it!! I know I will be rocking it all fall, winter and spring. I did not use the lightweight yarn called for because I wanted something heavy that will keep me warm when the crazy weather hits soon.

This is my first true hat (Cecile was seamed). All of it was knit on circular needles which was great because I did not have to seam anything. So, what did I learn? Um, to use my circulars the correct way. I think this is the third project I have used from start to finish with my circulars. The only thing I would do differently, would be to use DPN's at the end when there was less stitches. Oh, and to use yarn in different weights so you can really see the beautiful design.

I used YARN AND NEEDLES FROM MY STASH!!! Before I bought my Knitpicks set, I bought all these needles STILL in there case to be used for hats, but never used them. Well, I finally did.

I am so happy with myself. I wanted to be ready this year for the fall and winter. I was so mad at myself last year when the kids and I did not have cold weather supplies (had to buy them) and I am SUPPOSE to be a knitter. I always felt a season behind. Well, what a difference a year makes!!

Talking Poster, Olym.pics, and Knit news

Did I tell you gals, I stopped drinking coffee? Yup, sure did…..until today.

I was up so late because I HAD to watch Mr. Michael (his body is sick) last night and Cullen Jones and guess what I am so happy I did. My husband was ready to kill me but whatever. I was all over the place.

TAKE THAT FRENCHIE!!!! Not because your from France, but your swimming should have done the talking for you!! Ha!! I am not going to lie, I thought they were not going to let Cullen race, when I heard them say that they had to pick who will still run AFTER they broke the record in the semi’s I was like – oh, hell, he is about to get robbed. But, they did the right thing, he earned that spot. Go U.S., Go U.S. Ya’ll know we are a sports family – minus the two oldest, however Anger Management has really been into the games. Oh, and how come the U.S.A has to keep going against China? I am tired of them. Damn. I was even proud of my Prez yesterday, he sounded like one when he was talking with Bob (asshole) Costas.

Moving on. The weather in D.C. is gorgeous, has been for a couple of days now. I do not know what this mean, but I am scared of what is to come.

Friday, went to a Happy Hour with my two favorite coworkers – had a great time, got our favorite drinks (Stoli & Cranberry) AND the waitress hooked us up, it was not Happy Hour yet, but she gave us the special price. We went to the old dive (Post Pub). Fun times, however I have to tell you gals something. How come, I went to the bathroom and almost pee on myself. Why you ask? Damn, did she drink too much? Well, I was wondering the same damn thing. I did the squat our mom’s taught us when your out in public using the restroom and all of a sudden I hear talking. WHAT IN THE HELL?!! People, this is a single bathroom. Only I am in here – kay. Then I realized.......

it was the damn poster on the wall. What type of shit is that!! I am so sick of advertisement, you can’t run from the damn things. And whose bright idea was it to put a talking poster in a bar!!!! Why in the hell would you have that shit in a bar? I know people have been messed up behind that one.

So after sobering up on the metro, Mr. Conservative picked me up and we went out for Sushi!! We had a ball, I love spending time with him. Except when he looked me in the eyes and was like – how many drinks did you have? He is not my father. We did not leave the kids out, we took them out to eat Sunday.

Knit News

I started my first hat on circulars and luv it. I feel like this is my first hat since, the other hat I made was made on straight needles and then I seamed up the sides. I must say this hat has made me very frustrated, but it was not the pattern or the hats fault it was all knitter error. I had dyslexia or something yesterday because I was not reading the pattern right. I think I started over 4 or 5 times which makes no since, because it is a cookie cutter pattern (my how I have grown as a knitter – look at me calling something cookie cutter).

Oh and Anger Management has got her knitting mojo back as well, let’s see if she finish something, that has always been her problem. She is knitting mittens now on dpn’s. She completed one bootie and stopped because the ladies at her job are trying to sign her up to knit and she is not having it (so much like her mom), so instead of saying no, she no longer bring her project to work. You know what I told her to do, but she thinks I am mean – oh well, let other’s dictate your life then.

Did I tell you I taught my niece how to knit while she was here and her oldest brother, the 13 year old asked me to teach him?

What did you and your family get into?

Hope's Bright Ass Cabled Bib

Pattern: Cable-edge Bib by Sophy O'Donnell

Needles: Addi size 6

Yarn: Rowan Handknit DK Cotton 1 skein (I think I only used half)

Color: BRIGHT ORANGE

Hope is going to be the cutest, BRIGHTEST, little thing with her new bib.


There are some patterns you see and want to make, but do not need it at that time. Well this pattern was one of them. I seen it a while ago and always wanted to make it, but had no reason to.....until now.



I always order an extra skein when I knit projects for other's. I had this Rowan because I knit my KnittingHelp Summer Swap partner a bright orange (her request) spa set last summer. So since I had the yarn the pattern called for, I got to work. The only problem was the brightness, but I figure she is a baby and she is fierce, so she will be able to MAKE IT WORK!! Now, I just need to find some cute buttons.

What did I learn you ask? I learned how to do a Provisional Cast On (THANK YOU KNITTINGHELP!@!!). Everything else was knit, purl, cable, a button hole and shaping.

Conversations with Urb

Two days after I saw Hope.

Me: Babe, say yes
Mr. Conservative: What am I saying yes to?
Me: Just say yes.
Mr. C: I cannot just say yes what out you telling me what.
Me: Come on. Will I ever do anything to hurt you? Say yes.
Mr. C: Um, yes you will. But okay, yes.
Me: Thank you so much, I hope we have a girl this time.
Mr. C: (choke). WHAT! Sssshhhhiiiiitttt!!
Me: You already said yes so you cannot take it back. I want another little girl.
Mr. C: See that is why you should never have held that baby. Man, are you serious.
Me: Yup. Don’t you want another little girl?
Mr. C: HELL NO. We have enough goddaughters and your nieces.
Me: I am just kidding I will just visit Hope. You know I am not birfing no mo babies!!

College boy needed a state issue i.d. and I needed to get a i.d. with my name change (yes, I am just getting around to doing it). We are in the crazy amusement park and decided to ride the big roller coaster called the d.m.v for the second time - don't ask what happened the first time. Anywho, he registered to vote....again.

College Boy: Mom which party should I chose, I do not know yet.
Me: WHAT!!! Um, well, historically a child normally chooses his parents party until they finally get an opinion of their own (history proves this).
CB: Well, I do not know which party so which one can I chose.
Me: Are you serious? Well chose Independent or any other.
Me: I cannot believe you did not choose my party. You are a wimp.
CB: Well I had great parents who told me that I do not have to follow what everyone else does I should be my own man and make my own decision.

Now what can I say to that because it is true.

Me: Well, who said parents are right. Don't try and use our words against me.
CB: Are YOU serious?
Me: No. You know I have to say something. I am just proud that you are being a productive member of society and that your exercising your right to vote no matter what party you are in. However, you now will be exercising your right to be on jury duty because I swear they get me every year.

College boy needed to go and cash his check and I let him do it by his lonesome. He will be 19 soon and he needs to start doing some things on his own. With his other jobs, he had direct deposit, or I handled everything for him.

College boy calls me.

College boy: Mom I feel so stupid.
Me: Why, what happened?
CB: I cashed the check and the woman asked, how do you want this back? I told her I want money.
Me: What?
CB: Exactly.
Me: (trying not to laugh) what did she say?
CB: She said, do you want 5, 10, and 20.
Me: Yeah.
CB: I just feel so stupid.
Me: It is okay. We all have to learn.
CB: Yeah but I still feel so stupid.
Me: Well, you need to get out more and start doing things on your own. I am going to let you handle more things yourself.
CB: You are right I was thinking the same thing.
Me: Good because I am not helping you register this year. Your on your own, I helped you last year – oh and I am not your academic advisor, you need to plan your classes with him/her and then I can go over with you, but you need to pick them.
CB: Fair, but you are still going to me my mom right?
Me: That is still up for debate.
CB: Whatever, you know you love me.
Me: Bye boy I have to get back to work and so do you.

Many more conversations to come!

I HAVE NO EYEBROWS!!!

Setting: 2:00 a.m. in the morning.

Roll over, cannot sleep, and cannot breathe. What the hell? Someone is trying to kill me. I think it is Mr. Conservative. What in the hell did he eat? Hmph, was it the vegetarian baked beans? I do not think so, he has eaten them numerous times with no problems. Maybe it was that nasty honeydew melon he continued to eat AFTER he said it tasted funny.

Oh LAWD, I need air, damn it. I have to get up and make it to the window. I do want to live and see my 35^th bday and see Mr. Stefon grow up and move out. Nevertheless, this man beside me must be working on a secret weapon for the government and it is inside him.

This feels like an episode of Snapped. I am going to have to check our insurance papers because he might have upped the numbers without my notice. Damn shame. Well, I will not have to go and get my eyebrows waxed, since I no longer have any and if I had a mustache and nose hair that would be gone too.

Hope's Teddy Bear Bib

Hey yarny folks!!

I have a finished project. I actually finished weeks ago, but could not post because I was off and had mucho kids. I COMPLETED my first baby knit for my niece Hope. This was a really cute knit and it went pretty fast. Best part, I knit from my stash (bought for a rabbit that will not be made). I will definitely knit again, but I think I will do something to make the teddy bear stand out more. The bib can be used on either side too. I will try to get a better picture, but you know how that goes. The teddy bear bib pattern was free - YEAH. Click here. I used Bernat Cottontots and have plenty left over. I also used size 6 knitting needles. To knit this project you only need to know how to knit, purl, increase, decrease and i cord. Without further ado:

Hope's Teddy Bear Bib

Copycat

This weekend Mr. Stefon picked up his knitting needles again and has been working on his knit stitches. He will be making a scarf soon. I went up stairs and I heard the funniest thing. I was upstairs in my room and I heard him screaming - George Washington Carver knit!! I can knit too!! I thought I would die laughing. The next day, while we was walking to camp I asked him what was that all about and he said that his brother and sister was messing with him. I said well make sure you tell them, that men use to be the primary knitters and that Rus.sell Cr.owe and An.thony Ande.rson knit.

Well, well. Guess who asked me for some yarn and some knitting needles. Yup, Anger Management. NOW, she wants to make something for Hope (my brothers new baby). She has not picked up her needles in a minute, so we will see.

I am at home, looking at all these judge shows and people are crazy. One girl was suing another young lady for hitting her car. And the girl who hit the car did not see why she had to pay because the girl was illegally parked. But, hold up, why she didn't have a license and you talking about you shouldn't have to pay her because SHE broke the law by being parked illegally. Something is wrong in the water. Any who, I can't wait for Maury, so I can see some dumb ass woman who says she is 110% sure that he is the father, run off the stage crying, because he is not. And my favorite is Jud.ge Hat.chett, when she says, "YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT THIS CHILD FATHER". I sound just like her, Luvs it.

Can you telll I am enjoying my day. Oh and the husband is taking me out when he gets off in 2 hours before we get Mr.Stefon and the kids.

One last thing. I fell off the damn wagon before the kids even got here. I went to a surprise Happy Hour for my coworker at Cafe Asia. We had a ball and I had some Thai beer, I could not resist. My husband and I LOVE, LOVE this beer. So, I convinced myself that I was drinking because of the party and then because it taste good with Sushi. Well, I am back in the game.

Auntie Urban

Well, well. I am about to be the bomb Aunt - although Anger Mgmt told me that she will think of some stuff to do with her cousins as well because, "don't nobody want to go the museum". Whatever!

I will be getting my oldest nieces/nephews - my babies and I can't wait. Mr. Urb and I will trek down to Dale City, VA to get the boys from their dads house and my nieces from my mom in D.C. (ugh- still not talking to her). My nieces and nephews are my children, especially the first three. I guess it is time to tell the sister story. I have one sister, and one brother, (I am the middle child - can't you tell).

My asshole of a sister, lets call her Master Manipulator, has always been in trouble. Her nickname coming up was Nuisance. I did not know what this name meant, but I figured it meant bad, mischievous, something. As an adult, I now know they should never had named her that, she had to live up to the name and TRUST, she did. Whenever we moved to a new neighborhood, I had to explain to peeps, yes, that is my sister and no, she is not the oldest.
She was such an excellent liar. Grown ass people would believe whatever she said. I just never understood. For instance, she would run away from home and she would be over people house and when we would meet the parents, they would be like, she said you (my mother) had a heart attack!! And these were upstanding adults, and I just could not understand why you would not try and call the house or something. She can stand in your face and tell a bald face (my mother term) lie and you would start to rethink the color of the sky yourself. Besides the bad shit she use to do, like climb out our window, pierce her ear, invite boys over, oh and the time she got a cordless phone, when our parents got a phone lock (man she was wild). Oh, one more story, my sister use to leave the house all the time, run away. So, our house had the wind up windows, well, my mother winded up all the windows and took the cranks so her ass could not get out. Homegirl, got her a wrench or something because she got out. Too many stories to tell. But she was fun too. Man she would have you dying laughing, but she didn't play. If you get into a fight, you want her on your side.

Okay, well my sister has in total 6 kids and she is married to the last two children father. Her children are 13,12,10,6,2,1 and she is NOW raising all of them. She has had her kids for the past 2 years. My parents basically raised the first three. When my stepdad died my mom moved to Georgia, and soon after the first two kids came to live with her and then my pregnant sister moved down and when she had him, he ended up living with my mom and she rolled out.

My mother has been their only constant along with my brother (another story) and I. Since Master Manipulator was more bent on running the streets my mother raised them, however she could not take care of the kids financially, which meant we had to chip in. Now don't get me wrong, I did not mind helping, because we are family. But I have been disgusted with her actions for a very long time. She does not take ownership for anything.

My sister is not on drugs or an alcoholic. She is/was just an asshole. This is just my opinion and my feelings. I do not want her to be on drugs, but I guess I could kind of understand her actions if she was. My mother and sister both lived in Georgia and one time my mother had to go to work and needed a babysitter for HER kids and she said no she was not watching them. Can you believe that shit! Oh, I was hot. On another occasion, my daughter was down there (my kids use to visit every summer) and she has natural hair, I asked her could she braid her hair for me and she said she will think about it. DID NOT DO IT. However, every year I went down to get my kids, I braided my niece hair for back to school, bought them back to school clothes and tons of Xmas gifts like I was their mama or daddy, while they did nothing. My mother had to pay to get my nieces hair done during the school year, because she can plait, but not braid (don't ask, I never understood this, she use to do connect the plaits with me and my sister hair - ugh).

Anyway, to be positive , she is supposedly getting her life back together and if that is the case, good for her. I am just happy she has all of her kids in one place. She has found the Lord like she has on numerous occasions and hopefully she really has. I won't knock her, she may have, but if i hear one more gin how she is Save, Sanctified and a Christian, I might just have to snatch her ass back to size.

OKAY, back to my babies. One more thing, I do love all of her children. I just have a special bond for the first 3 because of what I mentioned above. NOW.

One thing about Auntie Urban, she loves education, history and some more. Also, she loves the museum and one thing about D.C. ITS FREE!!! YUP!! I will be their tour guide. We will be going to the Monument, Zoo, National Aquarium (I have never been, I only go to Bmore Aquarium which is the bomb), Air and Space, Fredrick Douglass Home, the pool, park, scrapbooking pictures (finally get to use my supplies), a cook-out in their honor and the icing on the cake - Mr. Stefon tennis camp is having a Family Fun Day Saturday and they can go to that as well. College Boy and Anger Management is planning some thing too.

I am planning my menus: burgers, hot dog, homemade pizza, cakes, cookies and ice cream sundae bar. I know I will be burnt out, but I do not care, I love stuff like this. If you come to D.C. I will show you around!!

Remember I quit drinking, I bet by the middle of the week, I will be taking the sport back up.

Yesterday was a good day

My bestest (yes, I know it is not a word) coworker is leaving our organization at the end of the month, she will be attending NYU Law School. I wish she did not have to go, but it is, what it is. However, the best part of being at my job, good eats when people leave or special occasions. Why you ask? My boss loves spending money and we go to the best places to eat.

Yesterday, we went to Oyamel, good eats all around. We ordered a lot of small plates (Tapas) of different foods and shared. I would show pictures, but I did not take any, I did not want to look crazy.

Yesterday did not start off good, I had to go to the coochie doctor for my annual and he is off the hook. He has no cut cards. Then the dinner did not start until 7. We never do dinners, we normally go at lunch time and take the whole day, so I was a little pissed because I get off at 4 which means I had to find something to do for all that time since I did not want to go all the way home and then have to come all the way back. What's a knitter to do in 85 degree, breezy weather, but to go to the book store and look at all the knitting and cooking magazines and find a nice place to knit. I finished looking at the magazines around 6:00 and was not that far from Oyamel, so I said, self, find a knitty good spot and get to work. I turn the corner from Oyamel and I see Teaism, which looked quite familiar, but I could not remember why and a beautiful park, right by the Navy Memorial. SCORE!! I whipped out my knitting and got to work. D.C. temperature has been turned on to Hot DAMN! But yesterday was gorgeous. So, I am knitting and checking out my surrounding and I see this lady with a cute dog. I noticed her because she actually picked up after her dog, which a lot of people do not do. I can not stand that, when I had our dog, I always picked up after her (carry sandwich bags - work ain't hard). I lower by head and get back to knitting. Then I hear - are you on Ravelry? - PEOPLE STOP THE PRESSES! The lady, with the cute dog is a knitter. YEAH! Why yes, I am and for the next 30 or so minutes we talk about knitting and Ravelry. She has been knitting for 52 years. We introduce ourselves and she said, I know YOU. WHAT! GTFOH!

Anywho, the reason the name Teaism was familiar to me, is because I saw the name mentioned before on Ravelry as a meetup for our area. Of course you all know I am not the meet up type. I just do not do it. However, that might change because I enjoyed talking with GKat and may have to come on out and knit with her at Teaism or at the beautiful park we were at. Oh and I hipped Gkat to KnittingHelp. She said, she never heard of it. I could not believe it. I told her she has to go to KnittingHelp, it is the technical cousin to Ravelry. I learned/and is still learning a lot from the Knitrixes over there. I have not turned on KH for Ravelry, I think they both serve a purpose.

Oh and one more knitterly thing. I finished my 1st block for College boy blanket.




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