Well, I finally got a little knitting done.I wanted to get some knitting done for the month of February, you know end it with a knitting bang, so I can go into March knitting up a frenzy (well, something).This weekend I completed the left front of the CPH which is a crying shame because I only had 3 rows left.I started the right front and then remembered I left the magazine at work. Damn.
Knitters you know how it is when that mojo hit.You feel like your on crack (never tried it, but let us assume) or should I say your needles acts like they are on crack.I started shaking, pacing, looking around the house for this project I wanted to work on last year – found the yarn, not the magazine. (I STILL cannot find that ding, dang magazine). Next!Well. I went to hubby nightstand and I have so much knit stuff in there (Ene’s, Forbes Forest, Starsky, etc. and peaking at the bottom was this.
Remember Pomatomous for Anger Management? The foot fit perfectly but the calf was loosey /goosey so I put it back because I did not feel like taking it apart.Well, me and the husband, sat down to watch the Assassination of Jesse James and I just started ripping the sock and it turned back into this –
Now it looks like this -
I had problems last night – I was so into In Treatment (my new fix) on HBO that I had to frog a couple rows – um, not a good look when dealing with dpn’s.I so love dpn, but they get a lot of hate from peeps. Sidebar - Blair Underwood is like a fine red wine. Damn, that man is sexy. He plays Alex on In Treatment and I could not believe he was playing a egomaniac, but I do not care. Lawd Have Mercy!! Okay, back to knitting.
Anyway, I am chucking right a long and hope to have the sock done this weekend and try to work on the CPH too, since she should come first.I have a project for spring/summer I want to work on so bad.I did not feel like I can do it last year and I think I am ready for her. As Jilly from Philly said, I took my earrings off and broke out the Vaseline.READY!!
Hopefully, I will be able to get the yarn this weekend.I know I know I said I was not going to order any yarn until I knit down some of the crapola I have.Well, I do not have the yarn and as I said before, my current stash really do not reflect me.It reflects the rookie knitter who bought here and there just because of a sale or impulse.
On the bus to take Mr.Stefon to school, we were about to get off the bus:
S/F/whoever - Urban? Me - Yes. SFW - Hey girl, I thought that was you, I have not seen you in a long time. Me - I know right. How have you been? SFW - Fine and you. Me - Girl, on my way to work and drop him off. Have a good one!! SFW - You too.
Mr. Stefon - Mommy who was that? Me - I have no idea. Mr. Stefon - But she knew you and you were talking to her. Me - Shish!! Why are you talking so loud.
I have been caught before doing this shit. I always run into people and I feel bad that people remember me and I do not remember them so I talk to them anyway praying they keep it moving.
Well - Once I was in the Giants Food and this girl kept talking to me and I did the same thing, we go through the whole spill and then she says -
Girly - You do not remember me do you? Me - Nope, have no clue. Girly - She insisted on going down Memory Lane and I STILL could not remember so I got tired and was like OOOOHHH I remember you now.
My gf can't stand it because we all been friends since we were 13/14 and she tries to get me to remember people and I am like LOOK - why must we go through this, if they were not a strong sidekick I will not remember. Do she stop? Nope and then she will say Hell, the next time I come over I will bring the yearbook - yeah - okay.
Different Girlfriend and Me - email
GF - Hey, I am going to schedule us to have a Brazilian wax. What day do you want to go? Me - Pump your breaks, when did us say we were doing that. GF - Stop crying and let's go. Man up! Me - Um, I am going to let you handle your business yourself. GF - Why can't you be a supportive friend and go with me and go first, so if there is pain or whatever I won't do it. Me - WTF. Um, I will be supportive and go and laugh at your ass. And take before and after pictures of your face. GTFOOH!!
Oh and I started a oldie but goodie knitting project. It has been resurrected and I hope to show a picture tomorrow. More conversations to come, I do not know why people tell me stuff, but they do.
Mr. Stefon! I thought it was going to be Anger Management since she is always watching Snapped! Gotta watch her.
I don't know if he is trying to kill me or trying to make me go to jail for committing a crime!!
I try and be a nice mother and cook a big ole breakfast on Saturday and I call everyone down to eat. I walk past Mr. Stefon and he has this bump on his lip. I ask what happened to your lip? He says, College boy thinks a spider bit me. sigh, a damn spider did not bite you, you have been biting on your lip again. STOP IT!! I TOLD YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU ARE GOING TO GET AN INFECTION.
Well, Sunday I walk past him and decide not to look at him because I know he is going to do something and Lawd For Jesus, I am going to have to strangle him. Against my better judgment, I look and his lip has doubled in size - I ignore it. Monday, same size. I said well I am off until Thursday and you will not be home with me you are going to school with your lip looking just like that. He said, I know, I am not worried about what people say to me. I said good for you!
Tuesday come and his lip tripled and it looks infected because I swear his ass was picking with it and as much as I wanted to be home BY MYSELF, I said you are going to have to stay home and when your father gets home we will call our pusher Kaiser (I should get stock as much as we go). Go in and the doc explains to him that he can NOT chew on his fingers and lip like that because he can get a bad infection and they will have to stick a needle in and it hurts - you think this may have scared him, but I swear he looked like he was considering the shit. While we waited I told him - you know what, I think you are going to be a Hypercondriac when your ass gets older. He LOVES going to the doctor and dentist.
Like I said before, IF he was the first we would be the damn last. Tubes tied, burnt and all.
On a good note, Miss Anger Management got straight A's. I got good grades, always on the honor roll, dean's list and all that - but I never got all A's. I remember once my uncle said - hey if you get straight A's I will get you this Barbie House. Ya'll I got all A's and 1 B and he said well you didn't get it. Aint that some bull shiggity! His broke ass did not want to give me my house, that is how my young eyes saw it.
So, all in all I had one damn day to myself. Started out rocky because I had to threaten to kill again. Anger Management was about to sock Mr. Stefon and he told her he was ready. I am on the third floor mind you and I can hear their ass all the way on the 1st floor. I had to break them up and tell them that I will kill both of them on the spot if they don't leave out the house! Of course while I walked up the steps, Mr. Stefon says, she started it again. He just don't know I wanted her to sock him - he put her clothes every where and that is why she was arguing with him and he told her. I don't have time to pick your stuff up - we need to catch the bus and we don't have time. (Funny, but she was about to hem his little butt up)
Want to see a picture of his lip. Here it is:
This is why I have been ghost, all my energy has been spent on this one and he has a nerve to tell me he needs someone to share a room with - SHIT.
KnitNews: None. I hope to try and knit tonight, I have not knit in weeks.
Let's talk a little bit about the No Child Left Behind Act. You know the one instituted by one of the greatest presidents that every lived Mr. Dubya.
Well, let me just tell you. Someones, dumb ass child was left behind. They don't have to worry about little Amanda or Antman being on ESPN competing for the Spelling Bee.
What am I talking about you ask? Well, Friday on my way home. Mr. Conservative was not at the metro station yet to pick me up. I am waiting in the inside and I look down on the window sill and this is what I see............
I am looking at this drawing and am like what the hell is this suppose to be, I think I know what half of the drawing is and then I am like DAMN!!! Who child is this. If you are so grown to know what this is and make drawings you SHOULD be able to spell it. Ridiculous. PRONUNCIATE DAMN IT!!! That is why you could not hear the ER, not UR. This is probably the same person saying scrimps or scrawberry. Neither here or there, but really I could not believe this I had to take a picture. ANYWAY....
DC, MD AND VIRGINIA STAND THE FREAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I love me some politics and this is so exciting. Hey and when you go vote, grab your kids and your grand kids, and any other little kid. YES your vote count and YES you do make a difference. And I don't care WHO the hell you vote for as long as you stand up and be counted or sit down and shut the FUCK up - sorry people can't sugar coat it - I hear too many excuses. I have a thing or two to talk about politics, but I think I will wait a little later for that.
Again, DC, MD and VA it is our turn - make some noise with your vote.
Hey, I got this email and I thought I would share it with you. I have seen it before (or three times), so, I know many of you probably have to. Without further ado:
I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies,' I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???' She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
Happy Friday - I hope everyone have a great weekend. Me - I hope to find a new paint color, after living with 6 - 8 different shades of green on the wall, we are thinking about brown again. Decisions, decisions. Hopefully, we can settle on one real fast, damn - it's been a year. Although, we have picked out two chairs to put in the living room, I hope we order them fast, because we will change our mind. Knitting - um, maybe not, I believe my Mojo is hanging out at the club with Del's- did you read her post? HILARIOUS - get to reading. I can't wait to read a novel, or something from her. I love her writing.
Thanks for the well wishes and the hugs, I would tell you how my week has begun, but that will mess up this post, so I will do that on another day.
I am feeling special because of two wonderful bloggers Amanda and Christie said my blog makes their day. Thank you ladies, especially since I am always stalking YOUR blogs for your next post, I am totally honored and floored.
So, I would like to thank all the crazy people I run into on the Metro and of course my family Mr. Conservative AKA Hubby, Anger Mgmt, and College boy. I have to give a special shout out to Mr. Stefon because without him this blog would not be possible. Last but not least the Knitting that is sometimes completed in a week or a couple of months.
Thanks ladies and I will put my 10 today or tomorrow - two posts in one day, now THAT would deserve a badge, or another award or something!
Right now. I need to properly thank my Ebony Elite Sistah Regina for the wonderful goodies I received during the E.E. scarf exchange. I love skinny scarves and guess what I got - yup, another skinny to add to the collection. So, I will be able to wear it during the Spring too!!
Contents: Beautiful Scarf, The Knitting Stitch Bible by Maria Parry-Jones, thread cutter pendant, cable needles and a skein of 100% Pure Luxury DK Cashmere, 4 ply by Sarah's Yarns in Red Mahogany (uber soft).
1. Daughter - Anger Management faints on subway train - her dad went to get his baby and I followed suit. We took her to Kaiser, and they really didn't say much - she needs to eat before leaving and going to school and we need to give her a multivitamin since she has started her mensy.
2. Almost get beat up by a crazy person on Metro
3. Anger Management meets us on the second landing when we get home to say, Mom let me tell you what your son did, I said dang, didn't we just get in the house. Well, I just wanted you to know that he cut a hole in the back of his new long johns. Look at Mr. Stefon and ask him why - and he said he was bored.....
4. Anger Management gets sick this week and didn't go to school for three days (maybe that's why she fainted - who knows).
5. Now I feel sick, call Kaiser they have me come in - take blood, wait and see.
6. Husband ring, diamond came out - thank goodness for insurance. Go to take his ring in and get mines clean and they say, oh we have to send your ring in too, one of your diamonds are loose. Great.
7. College boy calls us 30 minutes before superbowl to ask us to come and get him - WHAT - today is the superbowl, get it together!
8. Me & husband go out to spend time together, and when we get back we drive up to the gate putting in the code and I say honey, why is our front door open, he says what, I said, I just saw Mr. Stefon in the front door, he just closed it. We open the garage, park, go in and asked him what was his problem and he says - huh, you heard me, oh, I wanted to go outside. WHAT, who gave you permission? Nobody, but I had nothing to do. Yeah okay. I'll just say, dad took care of him. Anger Management said she thought he was downstairs playing video games. Why is this boy at 9, starting to act like he's 2. All I am going to say, if he was first, he would be an only child.
9. Now follow this. My godson, girlfriend mother was shot in the head and killed by her boyfriend and than he killed himself. She had 6 kids and the last was only a couple months old. WTF. I don't get it, he took the mother of his kids from them. I didn't know the mother, but I feel for the children.
10. Knitting? What's that. I wouldn't know, I haven't knit much in the past two weeks, I hope that changes, so that it can bring my stress level down. I think I will take some time off of work soon - oh and I still have not heard anything from Catholic University, so I am really bummed.
Excuse misspelled words and grammar, I wanted to get a post out, while I could.
This weekend I completed one of my swapees gift. Yeah me, no procrastination involved. However, I found out that my person received the damn gift I made this weekend from someone else. I really don't have time to knit something else.
So, what's a girl to do? Any advice. We did use different yarn and colors, but I don't want my swapee to feel like damn, I already got one of those.
My knits, just like that. Remember that crazy song (without the knits).
Anyway, Happy Friday!!! My audit is done and I am soooooo happy. I celebrated last night by getting some Sushi with the husband and I gotta tell ya, it was so dang good!!
You want to know how good. I didn't take the picture until AFTER we ate, my husband said, why didn't you get a before picture - hell, I was HUNGRY, I didn't eat lunch! And I was smart too, my hubby do not eat shellfish - the long one you see was ALL for me, because it had shrimp and scallops in it. So I had mines and I had some of his - he had spicy tuna rolls and spicy salmon rolls. Delicious - um, can you tell?
Knit News
Yes people, I have knit news. I told you gals, I started the CPH and it is a easy knit - so far. Now that I have found some replacement needles.
Sidebar - Knitpicks changeable needles are nice. I like them a lot, however, it would be nice if they had the numbers on them. I keep loosing my sizer, so I can't jump into a project sometimes because I forget which needle it is. I had to put CPH on hold because I couldn't find my sizer. I wasn't sure if a certain needle was the size 8. Well, what does a girl do in this type of situation. Look high and low for the damn thing and then give up and use other needles.
So, I am almost to the armhole decrease and I can't wait. I will have the back done. We will see.
Have a great weekend. Any plans? My plans, college basketball (I am a straight fanatic) LET'S GO HOYAS!!! Oh and the Maryland Terrapins are my second choice - gotta go with the home team. But the reason I love Basketball is because of the Hoyas, I have been a fan since I was 10, my godsister was in love with them and she made me watch with her and I have been caught up every since. Now I just love College Basketball PERIOD, better than the NBA, but I love balling anyway. So, again, what's up for the weekend.
I know the world is coming to a end - today the weather in D.C. will hit 75 degrees!!!
I told someone last Thursday when I went to work that it was bone freezing cold and I would prefer the winters be winters (but not that damn cold), I would trade the occasional hot days in.
SIKE!!!
I don't know what form of crack I was smoking when I said that, because I am LOVING it. The only problem I have, is the damn Auditors that are here - my financial skills (or lack there of) are being graded - so I can't enjoy the weather except when I go to lunch. I used every got darn minute and am hoping to sneak out at 3:30, hmm is that possible, if you come back from lunch at 2:25?
Oh and what is up with that guy eating his girlfriend - parts of her or whatever - that right there is just - WOW.
Knit news - I cast on for the CPH finally, I bought the damn book a year ago to make it and have just picked it up. I am using Patons Classic Merino, I will take a picture soon, right now I am on the ribbing - ugh.
Yes people, I ended the New Year right by completing a project before the bell rang AND I completed two new projects in the New Year!!!
So, what did I knit - I completed the Ruffle Scarf and Beanie for my daughter and I completed the Shifting Sands scarf for me (of course) and I got to use some beautiful yarn for the first time - Rowan Cashsoft DK and Malabrigo.
My daughter asked me to make her the Ruffle scarf in Scarfstyle and I said okay, why not. I am glad I made it - she loves me again (for 15 min, she's a teenager)!! So, I pulled out the RYC Cashsoft and the KnitPick needles and went to work. I used two balls - I have to check the needle size, but I believe they were a size 6. I learned to do short rows which was pretty cool. I loved to see the scarf turn into ruffles. I think it took me 3 days to make.
I also made the Knitting Daily Cecily Beanie to go with the scarf. OMG, this was such a quick knit and people this was my first hat!!! I can't wait to do another, I have yarn left from the first skein, and I think I will knit her some arm warmers (I have one skein left that I have not used yet). I love the hat, but it is a little plain - so if you know of a knit or crochet beginner pattern - please let me know. So far all the knitting flowers I have seen look wilted.
Ya'll I am in love. I am knitting down my stash just so I can buy some MMMMM. I am one not to jump on the bandwagon, but let me tell you. I knit with this stuff and I am in LOVE, it is so soft.
I used Grumperina's Shifting Sands Pattern and instead of doing the wide scarf, I made a skinner scarf (which I am a huge fan of) and I love it!!! I cast on 22 stitches on size 9 needles and knit tell there was nothing left. I am not the fringe type of person (although in the 90's when the cowgirl jackets where out guess who had one - ugh - gotta get the pic from Moms). I learned a new trick to put in my knitting bank: CABLING WITHOUT A NEEDLE, I am so stoked by this.
So three projects and I learned how to cable without a needle, shortrows and how to knit a hat. All while sipping - Gotta love it.
There is nothing like a good margarita with Patron Silver - oh and that is a shot of Patron (which I will never do again) in the shot glass.
Happy Friday!!! I thought this day would never come (says the girl who went back to work Wednesday).
My daughter - Anger Management turned 14 yesterday. I am getting old!!!
I have one family tradition that I do with my kids. On their birthdays, I write a letter to them. Like an evaluation. I write how lovely they are, what they are doing right and then, I also write what I think they should improve on - loving and nonjudgmental of course LOL.
They expect the letter too, if I do not give it to them right away, they will ask for it by the end of the day. I love doing this because, it let's them know how you feel and what is expected of them. The only downside, in the last year or two I have asked them to write me the same type of letter and they have yet to do it. I have told them, if they do not write me a letter this year for my bday, they will not receive another damn thing until I get mines!!
So, I ask you - do you have any family traditions?
Well, how did we get out of celebrating Christmas with a 9, 13 and 18 year old.
Let me start from the beginning. I always go all out for Christmas, I never use the credit cards (I learned my lesson years ago), but I spend a lot of money on gifts. I am ashamed to say how much so I won't put it here.
Last year we decided we were not going to celebrate Christmas because we bought the house December 11th and we told the kids all the money was going towards that. However, we bought them crap anyway, I gave in, I just felt guilty even though they said they were okay with it. So, we have been working on them all year long telling them that they should receive their gifts on their birthdays instead of Christmas and they said cool, but I told them I would give them money to purchase whatever they want AFTER Christmas, because that is when all the sales were going on and they said cool. I really wasn't worried about the oldest two, I really have great kids. My oldest son, is so sweet he use to tell me when I would wake up - crust in my eyes, hair on top of my head - mommy, you are so pretty. My husband nicknamed him - kiss ass and would make kissing sounds. He is 18, but still my baby. My daughter the same way, she is really respectful and knows what she wants, she is a beautiful young lady. I really never had a problem out of them. Now, Stefon, you have read the journey with that one. He is a little different. The other two didn't question, they went a long with the program - not him, he ask why and all that (if he was first, he would be an only child - trust).
So, the whole month we bought it up again and was like you know we aren't kidding this year, we really aren't celebrating and they were like WE KNOW ALREADY. I had to go to a meeting at Stefon's school and when I met with his teacher she was like - um, are you Muslim, he told me that you guys weren't celebrating. I said, no we are not Muslim and no we are not celebrating and she said she just wondered because they had a pizza party and he said he couldn't eat the pizza because it had pepperoni on it. Okay, so the boy don't eat pork!
His godmother called and ask for his list and the oldest list and I told her we were not celebrating and she said, well, I am calling child protective service. I told her to call and if she gets him that would be cool, I'll just pay child support. Our parents think were crazy too, they always say we didn't do that to you.
So, on Saturday they got their cash and they went shopping and guess what, they all still have money even Stefon. It's amazing, when they have to spend their own money - at least, that is what the oldest one said. My godchildren and everyone else will receive gifts on their birthdays, as well.
I will do it again next year, except I will bring in a couple decorations.
Damn! I have to go to work tomorrow. My office closes for Christmas - New Years, so I have been off since December 20th and you would think I would be well rested and ready for work.....Not so much.
Well, I did get a lot of knitting done. I will take pictures and upload tomorrow - when, at work!! They have to be good for something. I will also answer how we got out of celebrating Christmas.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a Happy and safe New Year's.
My holiday was excellent, we did not celebrate this year (for the second year). No tree, decorations, gifts.Nada!!!And, I got to admit it was really nice and less stressful. The only thing I missed was the decorations.I might incorporate that back into our lives, oh yeah and I cooked and baked of course. We will probably go shopping or something Saturday.
So, what did I do during this holiday?I knit of course. I am still knitting my daughter's sweater, I am finished with the back and am about to knit the arm sleeves, but this project is so monotonous, so what does a knitter do in this case - start a new project. My next knit project was to complete the Bandeau that I started for my daughter, Anger Management, but of course she saw me knitting it and said she changed her mind, she now wants the Ruffle scarf out of Scarf Style.It is going along quite well and I hope to upload a picture tonight or tomorrow. I am using the same yarn I was going to use to make the Bandeau, so I did not have to order any new yarn. Which is great because I am knitting from my stash until I get rid of some of my yarn before I buy anything new yarn (except for the scarf exchange).
Oh and I meant to tell you gals, I have FINALLY completed my essay and got my professor and friend (who happens to be a professor) to write references for me, so my application was sent in.Now, if my boss hurry up and put his in that would be great (I sent him a reminder before the break – but that means nothing). So, I should be starting grad school soon!!! Hopefully.
Also, I made some cute snack mixes for my coworkers this year and I think I did an excellent job.My kids loved the snack too. The only thing I would change about this project is the jar.The snack mix includes: Cranberries in Apple Juice, Sunflower Seeds (nuts), M&M’s, Raisins, Almonds, and Peanuts.
Sike!!! So, why did I say I am having twins? Because this bugaboo on the bus yesterday would not leave me alone.
Bugaboo: How are you doing? Me: Acting invisible - maybe if I stay really still, he will think I am not here - no haps. Bugaboo: Clears his voice loudly - I said how are you doing? Me: Scared of crazy people - Fine and keep knitting. Bugaboo: So, Can you make me a sweater? Me: You got to be outta your damn mind, but I don't say that - I say nothing. Bugaboo: Is that a wedding band on your finger? Me: Naw Sherlock - Yes - thank God, maybe he will stop talking to me. Bugaboo: So, I don't care, I still want a sweater. Me: Ugh, well, I don't think my husband would appreciate that, and I know my twins won't. Bugaboo: You have twins, you don't look like it. Me: Well, actually I have 6 kids. Bugaboo: Oh.........well we can work it out. Me: Urban, you fucking idiot, stop talking to these fools, so I made up more lies until he got his ass off the bus.
Signs
About a week ago I was on the bus going to work and as I was passing this construction site, I saw two dump trucks and one of the dump trucks had on the back of it: PIMPIN AIN'T EASY. Well, guess what I saw today? The same truck.
The picture is not that clear, but I tried to take a picture with my cell phone while on a moving bus:
Crazy People
Okay, so this isn't WMATA, but this has to do with people, who thinks people care what they really think.
I go to the bathroom yesterday and I see this sign that says:
Please wipe the counter off, don't leave water on it. We are not in Kindergarten.........
And then left the paper towels she used to clean the counter off ON the counter...um....two wrongs don't make a right - littering.
WTF. I understand where this person is coming from, because I hate bumping up to the counter while washing my hands and getting wet, but um....IT AIN'T THAT SERIOUS!!! She typed this shit, she must have been wearing cashmere or something.
I am tempted to go in the bathroom and write - who gives a fuck or something. But I am not.....or will I?
P.S. Sorry if you seen this updated 20,000 times, but something is going on with my font.
My family loves watching the history channel, my husband was watching a story on Dr. George Washington Carver and his discoveries that are used today and it was a awesome show. But what really got me was - HE WAS A KNITTER AND CROCHETER!!! He also did needlepoint and paint, but seeing him crochet was the best, he was so fast.
Anyway, it was so neat because this past week, I have been teaching Stefon how to knit and it was cool to see another man knit. I explained to him that the craft started with men and a lot of men do it (you know people think a certain way when a man knits - um, he plays for the other team is one). But so what, my baby is knitting like George Washington Carver!!!!!!
Here is a sample of his work in a museum and more about the man. If you google him and crocheting a lot of stuff come up.
Oh another interesting fact. Edison offered him a job making 6 figures a year and he turned it down to stay at Tuskegee. He was making 1500 per year at Tuskegee tell me THAT isn't commitment, I wish the kids/adults today knew something about that!! It is not always about the paycheck.
I will find that video of him crocheting!!
Also, check out Crimsonpurl, she has a story on Sojourner Truth!!! WOW!!
Stefon and Ms. Anger Management school has determine that we make too much money and that they will no longer receive free lunch and oh yeah, you don't qualify for reduced lunch either. People, I don't know what type of numbers they are looking at, but they really need to raise the household limits. Moving on.
So, what does a mother do in this situation? Go to one of my favorite stores Costco. I can spend hours in Costco. But, I went in got the snacks and all that - quick breakfast food too. Should be no problem right? WRONG!! After a month of doing this, I am thinking okay were straight. Here's a little conversation me and Mr. Stefon had on the way to his school.
Stefon: Mommy, you know you can eat breakfast at school - they said it's okay. Me: No, you can't. I have to pay for it. So, you need to get up early, stop lallygagging and eat. Who the hell is They? Stefon: No Ma, I'm for real, the people said everyone can eat for free. I'm telling you that's the truth. Me: Stefon, have you been eating breakfast at school? You bet not be because I will get a bill, why must you listen to other people? Who the hell is this other people? I bought you stuff to eat at home - get up and eat! If your hungry in the morning and were rushing and you don't eat, let me know and I will give you money. Sidebar: The school says they are not going to turn any children down, so they will let the kids eat and than bill the parents. I got a bill for $42 - this is why I went and bought the food. First, I don't see how you can bill me, when you are just telling me we are not approved. But, whatever. Stefon: No answer. Me: DON'T EAT UNLESS YOU BRING IT FROM HOME OR I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!!!
So, we get home - Hubby, looks through the mail and says, here is a letter from Stefon's school and of course he gives it to me like he can't read and write. I open the letter and what do YOU think was inside? Well, if you said Alex, I'll take a bill from Stefon's school for $92.00 you would be correct!!!
I hit the fucking roof. College Boy and Ms. Anger Management is dying laughing. College Boy asked a great question.
He said, Stefon, does that mean you have been eating 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches AND a big snack (he makes big ass sandwiches and more when he gets home, not chips and stuff or a apple)?
Of course he rolls his eyes. I had to go upstairs and relax before I straight choked him. My hubby bought up some medicine (Remy VSOP) to relax me. It worked and I haven't received a bill......yet.
You guys I just hung up on my mother. I am saying this not as a pat on a chest. I am saying this because I feel really bad. I damn near cursed her out and hung up. I really can't take it no more. I have to always be the strong one and today I can't. When I get home I am going to scream to let some of this energy out.
Under no circumstances should you disrepect your parents I truly believe that, but I couldn't take it any more. I am tired for real.
Pray for me.
I will explain why I did what I did in a future post, but right now, I have to call my mother and apologize because at the end of the day - she is my mother - no matter how fucked up things are.
Stefon as you know is the youngest of the family. My hubby would be pissed to know I used his real name, since I don't use mine or anyone else, but, um so what. I told you all his name before and I use to use From the Mouth of Babes, but so many people are using that now. So, my post for the 9 year old crazy person of the family is Mr. Stefon.
So, the men in the family - Dad, College boy and Stefon go to get their hair cut and they met up with their Granddad because he goes to the same barber as well. Me and my daughter Anger management (the name Stefon so lovingly gave her), was at home having some girl time which meant we were chilling, watching Snapped (the show). I hear the garage open and I hear college boy say, you need to go show Mommy your hair. I love to see them with a fresh haircut - my men are so cute - yes I am bias - sue me (sike, you would only get a buck o five).
Anyway, I am waiting and when he gets up the steps me and my daughter is looking at them like Oh No He Didn't!!! The boy has a Mohawk!!
Now, if college boy would have come in with the Mohawk, I would not be surprised at all - that is how he rolls, punk rock - no rap, let's just say I would understand. But Mr. Stefon - that would be a no. So, I look at College Boy and Hubby and say WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!! Mr. Conservative says, he said he wanted one, so I let him get one - you don't like it - HELL NO (I do now, it has grown on me). I said, when did we let his ass start telling us what he can and can't have. He said he didn't think it would be a big deal (funny, because he wouldn't let him get braids or cornrows). So, my baby has a mohawk and Ms. Anger Management has been calling him a Poor Puffy (PDiddy) - too funny!!
Can you see my baby eyelashes? Look how long they are, my daughter's lashes are the same way, people ask her if they are fake all the time. My lashes are long, but they definitely get it from their dad.
Me and Mr. Stefon made cookies - old fashion chocolate chip cookies and some with white & regular chocolate with walnuts. He thought I was a genius because I made them from scratch!!
Knitting:
I have been knitting a sweater for my daughter and it is very tedious, but I like it. Especially since I can sit in front of the t.v. and I have finally mastered knitting without looking, I have been scared to do this in the past. I have completed the left and right front and I am chucking along on the back - I hope to finish the back and start on the arm sleeves this week.
I love this stitch pattern, I think I want to make a scarf out of it - we will see.
It's a wrap!! I can't take it no more. I have to let you go. I would have told you privately, but since you put my business out in an earlier post, I am putting yours out there!
Look-a-here, Miss Thing, your ass is too big, and bulky and I am not feeling you right now. I know you don't understand because I completed you this weekend, danced and took compliments from my husband and kids. Blocked you, seamed you, put you on and than started the collar. Yes, you brought a smile to my face because I completed you (except for the collar), however, your just not my type. You are just too bulky, and big. I know I told you I would give you to Ma Dukes, but you saw her skinny ass, she lost weight, she is smaller than me (this should not be allowed AND she got a big kadonkadonk - WTF!). In other words your short!
So, I am going to take you apart and maybe make you into a lapghan or something. I do love your stitch pattern - the banana tree pattern is fierce (just not on me). But, I am trying to lose weight and your big ass adds 10 pounds on me. I should have knit you as a small and not a large, but I was a new knitter and I followed the damn directions - and forgot about the 8 inch ease. PEACE!!
REALITY
Okay back to reality. In all honesty I am glad I made Starsky, I experienced a lot of firsts. My first cable project, sweater, seaming (I seamed before, but not this much or a arm sleeve), pick up stitches for a collar, shaping. The whole nine. but, it was just too freaking big! I can do bulky as long as it is fitted bulky.
I should have ripped this sweater out a long time ago but I was in love with the banana stitch, it is so pretty. I loved the sweater until I started doing the arms and saw how big it was becoming, but I pressed on because i wanted to complete this project and I figured, maybe it won't be so big. I also kept going because I ran out of yarn and ordered yarn from three different Ravellers, so I figured I had no choice but to complete it, since I went through all the trouble. So, once I seamed everything and my husband said, wow that looks nice, I just knew I had to complete it - he finally gets why I do this thing called knitting!! So, I kept going and all I had to do was knit the collar, I picked up 285 stitches and knitted the third row and than realized something. My name is URBANKNITRIX and um, this is my MOTHERFLUCKING KNIT WORLD and I can do whatever the hell I want. Love the fam, but freakem this shit is coming DOWN!! My husband asked me yesterday after I had college boy take some pictures, why are you taking it apart it looks nice (he was either tired yesterday or wanted some - bless his little soul). I said, well, I don't like it and it will be a throw one day!!!
In the words of the Soup Nazi - NEXT!!!
In memory (proof) of Starsky - Here are pictures - while you look at the pictures make sure you have Boys II Men singing in the background - It's so hard to say goodbye............
P.S. Don't mind the greens on the wall - remember when Starsky ratted me out by talking about my green wall - well we still have not made a decision - it looks like 1 or 2 colors but it is actually about 6.
I so need to exercise, I have lost weight and I swear I put it all back on. Anywho, let's get it crackalacking on my Tday.
Can someone explain to me how I end up having 13 people over for dinner with a possible 16, an unwanted sleepover and an almost heist???
My fam (5), MIL and daughter (2), my mother (1), brother and fam (5), friend and kids (3) (they didn't show up thank the goodness). It was only suppose to be us and the mothers, but whatever. On Tuesday, my gf calls my celly and says, hey when am I getting an official invite - let's try never. Um, if you want to come cool, but there was not going to be an invite (maybe that is why she ended up NOT coming).
She starts with what should she bring (my husband said hot water or nothing), I told her drinks. She says, you sure you don't want me to cook - (in unison people - HELL TO THE NAW). Sidebar: One Turkey Day, we invited her over my uncles house and she made stuffing - have you guys ever seen separated stuffing - yeah, well. My uncle said - tell that big legged, red girl she can come over any time she wants, so I can stare at her, but she is not allowed to bring another dish and he is so right (about the cooking). Oh, and she can't take a hint - she kept calling me asking - what should she bring and then finally said remember that time.....talking about the stuffing (damn, yeah, we remember..that is why your ass is not cooking).
MIL decided on the way to my house, that she may not feel like driving home, so her and her daughter may spend a night!!!! Says, who? Did you ask? I swear she did this shit because my mother was staying. But hello people, my mother lives in Georgia - her ass lives in MD, not even 30 minutes away AND, her ass don't drink - so why can't she drive home. How bout she tried to change the music to gospel??? Ssssshhhhitttt!! Nothing against the Lord, but not while I am drinking Patron and playing Spades!!
My carpet didn't like their ass, come to find out my nephew was walking around undetected by me with his sippy cup and was spilling ORANGE juice on my white/beige carpet. If I would have caught his ass they would have gotten me for forced child labor!
The heist: So, my brother is married - HOWEVER, him and his wife haven't been together for the past 7 years and they are not divorced (don't ask, my brother is an idiot). He has a son with this new chicken head who is 15 months old and she has 2 kids from a previous relationship, a boy 9 and a girl 7.
So, college boy has the games in his room and he let the kids come in and play. Well, my mother comes to me and says I have to tell you something, but I will wait to later (why do that to people). Anyway, she tell me while she was smoking out back (smokefree house), she had to use the bathroom, she comes in and finds him stuffing something in his pocket. So, she said he looked guilty of something and asked him what was he doing and he pulls out a top. She said, so, if I go in your pocket I won't find anything. He then proceed to pull out a stack of Yu-GI-Oh cards (yes, my son has a rack of them - he goes to Uof MD to compete with them). He says, College Boy said he can have them. My mom says, well lets go see. Takes him in there and of course College Boy says, no I didn't and guess what grandma, that is not all of them. He then pulls out another stack. WTF!!!
My mother go and tell his mother and she says - are you sure, I don't see why he would do that since he have Pokemon cards at home - uh, HE HAD STACKS IN HIS POCKET, NOT ONE OR TWO. This is another case of my brother messing with a slightly retarded chic - I swear.
So what did College Boy say - see, this is why I don't want no one in my room. This is the second time I tried to be nice when we had company and what do i say - your right, you don't have to entertain any more. Remember Memorial Day - one of the babies spit Doritos on his wall (she was trying to help him decorate - he didn't find that funny).
All in all, I had a great time. It was nice to spend time with my brother and talk about growing up and missing my sister (not her, but my nieces and nephews) who didn't drive up. It was also nice to play cards, talk crap and get my drink on.
Seems like everyone had just as much fun, from what I read on some blogs.
Let me just start off by saying, I will not discuss the knit pattern traitor Starsky, because that is what she/it would want me to do.As my mom use to say – It ain’t happening captain!!
WMATA is back!!! WMATA (we call it metro) is the name of the bus/train system in D.C. and in this corner I will discuss my trials and tribulations while journeying on this contraption with my son the 9 year old (did you see that, he turned 9 two weeks ago).
I ask you – why do people discuss personal information on cell phone or with people loudly?I just do not get it.My husband or any body call me, I will answer and say is it important, I am on the bus, I will call you back.But some people, I just don’t get it.
Friday I dropped the little one off at school and get back on the bus to go to work.We make a stop and pick up three of the loudest broads.
Conversation went like this:
Loud Ass #1: So, where are you going to the metro? Loud Ass #2: Yeah, I am getting on the metro but I have to stop at the court building first – where you going, you want to go with me? Loud Ass #1: Naw, I have an appointment, why you going to the courts? Loud Ass #2:Girl, I am going down there to get my damn divorce.I am going in there fill out some papers and get rid of this tired ass nickel. Loud Ass #1: I hear you, its that simple huh? Loud Ass #2:Yessir!! All you have to do is get the papers, fill it out, have the postman send it out certified and pay your $80.00. I ain’t playing with his ass I should have been did this shit a long time ago. Loud Ass #1: Dang, I need to do mines too.I went to Virginia, they were trying to get me to pay $300 dollars, and I did not have it.
What the hell, why are you all loud talking about this on the bus and LOUD.Well, if your nickel is getting on your nerves and a divorce is what you seek - it is cheaper to obtain in DC than VA.
Next idiot in training:
Young girl is cursing on the bus (as usual – I swear the girls are worst then the boys) and said some girl tried to hit on her and she told her “honey I am all about the dick no twat.”She said this loud on the bus early in the freaking A.M. and was talking about her birth control pills.
Then she said her boyfriend got on her nerves, she is tired of his ass and told him fuck you (she said it like 4 times and her friend egged her on) and don’t call me no more.Then she said the boyfriend called her at 11:44 at night (no, I was not eaves dropping – she wanted everyone to hear) and talked to him until 12:30.The next morning, she got up tired (no shit Sherlock) and asked her mother if she could stay home from school and her mother said no.She said, but ma I’m tired and her mother said, so am I and I have to go to work, so you will go to school. Good advice, now if her mother would incorporate a little whip ass, her daughter wouldn’t be on the bus acting like Lil’ Kim or a menace to my ears.
Society is getting on my nerves with these kids – can you tell?
Just kidding. My mommy is closer to me ya'll!! She is with my brother in Virginia and will make her way up here with me and the kids. I have not seen my mommy in over a year and I can't wait.
I am dying laughing while I am writing this post, because I know next week I am going to seek prayer for wanting to throw her ass out.
Will someone please come and get this fake ass knitter!! This is Starsky, and I am sick and tired of Urban cheating on me.I mean, for real ya’ll, how long does it take to finish knitting a damn sweater.
Granted, I see her writing her essay for her Masters (but, I believe she has been doing this before me – hell she started me in September 2006).I also know she is working with her Homeowner Association, and trying to whip their ass into shape (she really should quit because these folks are ignorant and I can see her catching a case). Then homegirl has a nerve to try and pick a paint color – how many greens do one person need, you need to see her wall, I think it is about 5 or 100 shades of greens on the wall (who knew) and she did some crappy ass resume.
Oh and what really set this post off!!!This bitch right chere is a polygamist knitter – she really has a problem.This hoochie has a nerve to start knitting other shit, she thinks her ass is slick.I knew she was knitting Ene’s Scarf, I mean she was woman enough to apologized, remember her posts in the past. Humph, well, well, I caught the chica left-handed, knitting a sweater for her daughter – ain’t that a blimp.
Well, you know what, I can’t wait until her Mom’s get here tomorrow, I heard her talking to her BFF (more than one, I wonder if they know about that), telling them she may give me to her mother – THANK GOD, I don’t want to be with a bipolar knitter any ‘ole way.Look how she did her husband’s scarf and the last clapotis she knit – she did not like them in the beginning, it had to GROW on her, she said!!
Well, I hope the apple does fall far away from the tree, so her mom can take me to the ATL with her when she leaves (maybe I should tell her mom what I heard her say about HER – she don’t want to mess with me).
Please tell her to complete me, I mean damn, its’ been a year and the yarn she needed to complete me came over two weeks ago from Canada. Urban is always telling people, you can not pick your family members. Well guess what? Knitting patterns can’t pick their knitters either, how bout that!I probably should start a petition, she loves politics – maybe then her ass will pay attention to me. Hmph.
Uh, wait a minute… I think the heifer is coming and she can be mean, she might unravel me (I heard her slick ass say that before), so, um.I have to end here.
Okay people, you know it is that time of year again and someone sent this to me (twice), but I figured I would post it here anyway for those who have not seen it.
And so it goes.
10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE
1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won’t be able to eat anything.
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on the pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.
3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort them to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas.
4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a hoot. The time limit for the prayer is one minute.
5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy behind home next year!
6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate using my good Tupperware knowing good and well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding.
7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!
8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DHS on you.
9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your behind home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.
10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS ...YET! :-)
Let me tell you, this has made my day!!!! Especially, #1, 2, 6 and 8.
I did not make this someone else did so credit goes to - 1 email said Madea Thanksgiving rules and another had no name. So whoever you are good looking out.
Let me just tell you, I do not have time for any type of non sense, at all. I like living a drama free life, but every time I try to get out, one of them fools try to pull me back in!!
Gated community, some homes with garages and some without. There are limited parking within the gate, however, there is parking outside the gate.
My section within the gate have four homes beside each other. All of us have garages except one neighbor and there are 4 parking spaces. One parking space is designated to her since she does not have a garage or driveway and one the previous owner told me we own and another owner owns another.
When we first moved in the neighborhood people parked in the parking space, being the nice person that I am I wrote a note saying don't park here. They stopped, however, she now parks in front of the fire hydrant. This woman tries to be confrontational, so I have heard. I don't deal with her, but my neighbor beside me is always arguing with her because she parks in front if her driveway and than will tell her, "all you have to do is knock on the door." WTF.
Okay, so where am I going with this. Wednesday, Halloween, we pull into the gate and the whole section is full. Cars are everywhere and people are hanging outside. We never have this, I am HOT, HEATED, but I knew not to say anything yet.
Thursday, on our listserv, another neighbor in another section put out a email about parking in their section. So, I responded to her email with this:
(Our Section), it is a small parking lot, neighbors and their company park in front of the fire hydrant and anywhere else they like.
We have signs coming into the gate that talks about towing and I have yet to see someone towed.
This is ridiculous.
(I Signed it with my government name and my street address)
So after this email, one of the police officers who live there sent a email saying that he will contact me later on steps I can follow. I don't think she liked that because this is what she sent:
WHEN I HAVE VISITOR'S OVER THEY EITHER PARK IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, NEXT TO THE CURB, OR IN THE AVAILABLE PARKING SPACE. WHEN THE AVAILABLE PARKING SPACE IS BEING USED, THAT IS WHEN THEY PARK IN FRONT OF THE FIRE HYDRANT. TWICE, A THREATENING NOTE WAS PLACED ON A VISITOR'S CAR THAT WAS PARKED IN THE AVAILABLE SPACE, IN THE NOTE IT STATED THAT THE SPACE WAS A PRIVATE PARKING SPACE. There are NO PRIVATE PARKING SPACES in (our section)PERIOD.The only private parking space is the one that have the house number in it, which belongs to me.
In order to get this straightened out once and for all, we need to have a meeting with (President), so he can give us the rules/laws on the parking for (our section).
Can you feel the anger!! This shit is too fucking funny. She is so angry, screaming, the boldness of it all, and than the color red too. Whew wee, could it be because you maybe guilty of something.
So, let's dissect her email for a second, before we move on.
1. Is the curb a parking space.....uh no. we have lines drawn for parking spaces and it is not by her house.
2. She states that if the parking space is filled, that she parks in front of the fire hydrant - is that NOT what I said. It's illegal.
3. When we bought this house, the old owner told us we owned that parking space. When someone parked in it before, the neighbor that is right beside us said, man they are trying you, that is your space. Let me just tell you gals, no one parks in that space, not even her, unless she feels froggy, but majority of the time she does not, remember she parks in front of the fire hydrant. If she believed that was not our space, she should have said so, or approach me about. She never has, we could have handled it then. As far as threatening letters, not true, it was a promise. I clearly stated this is a private parking space, if you continue to park here I will have your car towed.
Now people, if Urban is wrong, I am woman enough to say - Hey, I thought that was my space, that is what the owner told us. It's no biggy, we have a freaking garage. However, you still can't make parking spaces in front of the curb and in front of the fire hydrant - oh and her parking space, the one that is hers have a car in it that doesn't work!!!
So, instead of responding right away and after I deleted my email three times. I responded with this:
(Parking section name) have 4 parking spaces, they are outlined by the white lines. If a car is parked outside of that white line than it is not in a parking space. Cars are parked in front of the fire hydrant, it has been done on numerous occasions. There is no need to scream, we can converse like adults. I will send an email to you and (HOA president) and we can ask for a meeting for the neighbors at (Our section).
And than I sent this:
Good morning (HOAPrez and cc'ed her on it),
Can you meet with the homeowners in references to the rules and regulations of parking in the section of (ours).
Thank you,
The only changes to these emails is to the names and sections, I don't need Jason or Michael Myers coming to the crib.
So, I called Mr. Urban and told him what happened and to go and take pics of her in front of the fire hydrant (and she was) oh, and someone was parked in front of our driveway (from her house), he took a picture of that and told them to move (they did). See, hubby was home during the day and they weren't expecting it.
Where do we stand: no where, I think this lady is use to bulling people and she didn't expect me to respond to her crazy ass. She has yet to respond to either of my emails. Believe me people, I am not confrontational, don't look it either. However, I do believe in communicating and not being punked.
This morning - 2 cars parked in front of the curb and fire hydrant.
DRAMA
My aunt use to shake my brother when he was bad and say "I rebuke you satan." (see why I feel the way I fell about org religion)!! I think I might call her and ask her to come shake someone.
This is a accurate color
