Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I swear for God Mr. Stefon is going to make me hurt him!

I need a break.

Mr. Stefon made me use curse words this morning that I never used at a kid. I finally told him that the next time he raise his voice at me I am going to steal him in his face. Anger Mgmt looked at me like I was crazy. Was I wrong for saying it? Nope and if he does I am two piecing his ass. No, I am not proud of saying it and I may apologize later when I can deal with him, but not right now.

See what had happened was.

5:30 I hear Anger Mgmt wake up Mr. Stefon and he is not trying to get up, so I go to him and say get your butt up and go get into the shower and get your stuff out of the dryer.

He said okay.

5:45 I hear he is out of the shower, but I know him, he is probably back in bed. Mr. Stefon are you dressed? No, I am buttoning up my shirt. Okay, how long does that take.

5:50 You brush your teeth, pick your hair, put your socks, shoes and lotion on. YES.

6:00 You finished? No, I am picking my hair. Why is it taking you that long?

6:24 Unwrap Anger Mgmt hair, styling it and when Mr. Stefon hears I am coming down the steps he starts moving to the bathroom at the bottom of the steps, BAREFOOT, polo shirt open ala Rick James and pick in hand. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SEEING RED GOT DAMN IT!!!! WHY IN THE HELL AREN’T YOU READY!!!

Mr. Stefon: I need help picking my hair.
Me: What the hell you mean, ALL THIS TIME!! Why didn’t you ask earlier, now we will be late! Where are your socks and shoes?
Mr. Stefon: I could not find a match.
Me: What? I just washed all your clothes, you have socks. You have been down here watching t.v. and not doing what your suppose to do. You are getting your hair cut. You were only allowed to grow a bush if you kept it up – the damn boy wants dreads.

At this point I don’t remember too much because that little mofo started screaming some shit about needing help (fucking excuses) – because I was at the top of the steps. See, I almost lost my damn mind and jump down all them steps and mess him up, but I KNEW I was not in my right mind and I didn’t want to be bunking with Big Bertha and holding on to her belt buckle and shit. So, I walked in my room for a minute and came back out and then proceeded to tell him that if he raise his voice at me again, I will punch him in his face, no questions asked. He said yes ma’am.

Of course he apologized and I am sure I will receive another letter, but I don’t care.

This boy brings out a whole other side of me. Anger Mgmt is 15 she ain’t even tried to raise her damn voice at me, I have no problems with that child except she cost too damn much. College boy is 19 and never tried to raise his voice. Actually if he was upstairs he probably would have given him a what for because he thinks he is their dad too.

Where was Mr. Conservative through all this? At work of course. When I tell him, he will laugh and say his favorite line. I never have problems like that, when I tell him to get dressed in the morning he gets dressed. That is not always the case, but whatever.

Mr. Stefon has no care, he has such a little attitude/temper. I swear he gets it from his father, but everyone says me. I never did anything like that, I was too scared of my mothers’ lethal backhand. That shit was automatic.

BEST PART!!! They have a book fair at school and on the bus he says to me.

Mr. Stefon - Well I guess that is out of the question.
Urban - Look I don't have time for games and trying to figure out what your talking about, spit it out (yes I was still mad AND I knew what he was talking about, but, why is he talking to me).
Mr. Stefon - Oh the book fair, so you think you can give me some money.
Urban - WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, I am not giving you no money. Why should I? You want something from me and I want something from you and if you can't give me what I want you sure ain't getting what you want.
Mr. Stefon - How about tomorrow?
Urban - Don't talk to me.

Mr. Stefon is too much, I swear for God, but I love him though.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

"I will punch you in the face" usually is not something I think is funny when warning a child about behaviour, but since I am dealing with my own back-talking boy I feel ya, and that shit made me laugh. Besides, we all know you would not really punch him in the face....

Carmell said...

OMG!! i have a Mr Stefon! his name is Gno! everything you wrote even about the hair, the book fair, everything has already happened in my house. and i told Gno the same thing you told Mr. Stefon. Gno always want something and i can't never get him to do what i want! ARGH!!! i feel you. i tell Gno all the time i'm not talkin to you!!! how old is Mr. Stefon??

just like you i was afraid of my mother! raise my voice... ah hell naw! these kids today just don't care!

Carmell said...

i have threaten punchin Gno in the chest... i have knocked him up side his head though... sometimes you just gotta get street with them!

Adrienne said...

I've said punch you in the throat to Aj before. I dont know what he said to make me that upset lol.

Virtuous said...

LMAO @ "because I was at the top of the steps. See, I almost lost my damn mind and jump down all them steps and mess him up, but I KNEW I was not in my right mind and I didn’t want to be bunking with Big Bertha and holding on to her belt buckle"

*wipes tears* from laughing! LOL

And this too shall pass!

Knitaholictoo said...

LOL! I know what you mean! I've developed a twitch in my right eye. They just know How to do it don't they!

Sha Boogie said...

I think a drop kick down the stairs would have been in order! lol

Sheila said...

I hear you on all accounts. Sometimes they will take you there. Honestly, the best punishment is a definite azz wupping if you ask me and I know from experience...hehe